F/M/K
December 4, 2010 3:27 AM Subscribe
Julie Klausner and Natasha Vargas-Cooper play Fuck/Marry/Kill in the Hairpin.
James Gandolfini/Steve Buscemi/Michael Imperioli.
Hugh Laurie/Rahm Emanuel/Anthony Bourdain.
Bill Murray/Steve Martin/Chevy Chase.
This post was deleted for the following reason: People seem to think this kind of sucks. -- cortex
... both of them are experts in concurrently frightening and arousing weak men with discourse and panache.
Check on all points. Also strangely in touch with my feminine empathy zone; much more than, say, when I see my better half taking out the garbage.
posted by rudster at 3:51 AM on December 4, 2010
Check on all points. Also strangely in touch with my feminine empathy zone; much more than, say, when I see my better half taking out the garbage.
posted by rudster at 3:51 AM on December 4, 2010
This is not very funny or edifying, though it is very long.
posted by smoke at 4:14 AM on December 4, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by smoke at 4:14 AM on December 4, 2010 [2 favorites]
God that was distasteful. Why would anyone read that crap for pleasure.
And, evidently "Frightening" now equals "disgusting" and whoever wrote that has NO idea what the word "arousing" means.
posted by HuronBob at 4:21 AM on December 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
And, evidently "Frightening" now equals "disgusting" and whoever wrote that has NO idea what the word "arousing" means.
posted by HuronBob at 4:21 AM on December 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
Who are these two women?
posted by crunchland at 4:24 AM on December 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by crunchland at 4:24 AM on December 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
I'm sorry, I can't take these two writers seriously when their personal websites are tumblr blogs! *shudder*
posted by crossoverman at 4:28 AM on December 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by crossoverman at 4:28 AM on December 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
Really stupid, painfully uninteresting and sad in too many ways to articulate.
posted by Dee Xtrovert at 4:51 AM on December 4, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by Dee Xtrovert at 4:51 AM on December 4, 2010 [2 favorites]
Aw dang. I thought they were playing it with these guys, not about them. I was kind of excited about that. Instead it's just... really, really inane.
posted by The Bridge on the River Kai Ryssdal at 4:55 AM on December 4, 2010
posted by The Bridge on the River Kai Ryssdal at 4:55 AM on December 4, 2010
And I thought Jezebel was bad...
posted by Shesthefastest at 5:06 AM on December 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Shesthefastest at 5:06 AM on December 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
Christ, that just set a new standard for "fucking unreadable!"
posted by Thorzdad at 5:49 AM on December 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Thorzdad at 5:49 AM on December 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
Ooooh, tough one.
Well, though I usually prefer redheads, I'd rate Natasha as the more attractive of the two. But a "union organizer"? I just don't think I could put up with someone, long-term, who makes her living fighting for exactly the opposite of the meritocratic society in which I believe.
Julie, OTOH, while a comedienne (and I liek teh funnys), has an annoying habit of writing about her exes. And while I've never done anything with/to an ex I'd deny if asked, we all have stories we'd much rather not have included in Oprah's Book-of-the-Month.
We have no third choice, and I have no interest whatsoever in marriage, so that makes the "M" an easy choice - I pick the lack of a third one.
I think I'd have to choose ms-two-many-last-names for the mating game, and lose the funny girl in the wood chipper.
tl;dr - Do women really play this "game"? Wow.
posted by pla at 5:58 AM on December 4, 2010
Well, though I usually prefer redheads, I'd rate Natasha as the more attractive of the two. But a "union organizer"? I just don't think I could put up with someone, long-term, who makes her living fighting for exactly the opposite of the meritocratic society in which I believe.
Julie, OTOH, while a comedienne (and I liek teh funnys), has an annoying habit of writing about her exes. And while I've never done anything with/to an ex I'd deny if asked, we all have stories we'd much rather not have included in Oprah's Book-of-the-Month.
We have no third choice, and I have no interest whatsoever in marriage, so that makes the "M" an easy choice - I pick the lack of a third one.
I think I'd have to choose ms-two-many-last-names for the mating game, and lose the funny girl in the wood chipper.
tl;dr - Do women really play this "game"? Wow.
posted by pla at 5:58 AM on December 4, 2010
he’s British and therefore everything that comes out of his mouth is entrancing!
Just like me!
Let's see... P.J. Harvey, P.J. Harvey, S.E. Cupp
posted by Decani at 6:04 AM on December 4, 2010
Just like me!
Let's see... P.J. Harvey, P.J. Harvey, S.E. Cupp
posted by Decani at 6:04 AM on December 4, 2010
To save time I'd like to just go ahead and kill everyone on that list except Michael Imperioli, who I would both fuck and marry as soon as he grows his Ray Carling mustache and hair back.
Actually, I'd probably kill him too... from all the fucking.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 6:10 AM on December 4, 2010 [2 favorites]
Actually, I'd probably kill him too... from all the fucking.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 6:10 AM on December 4, 2010 [2 favorites]
Not in the running for December best FPP contest.
posted by fixedgear at 6:13 AM on December 4, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by fixedgear at 6:13 AM on December 4, 2010 [3 favorites]
Is it just me, or would this post get the shit flagged out of it and be deleted if it was a couple of guys writing about women?
posted by HuronBob at 6:14 AM on December 4, 2010 [6 favorites]
posted by HuronBob at 6:14 AM on December 4, 2010 [6 favorites]
I love you all so much (however I will not fuck, marry, or kill any of you), I'm posting this to get the bad taste out of your mouth.
posted by HuronBob at 6:25 AM on December 4, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by HuronBob at 6:25 AM on December 4, 2010 [2 favorites]
HuronBob : Is it just me, or would this post get the shit flagged out of it and be deleted if it was a couple of guys writing about women?
Not just you, actually. I half expected my satiric "turnabout" post above to have vanished before I got back from breakfast, despite my writing it far more tamely than any of the TFAs. Good to see that I got the tone of a topic right for a change - Though as you point out, I don't know if I should brag about that considering the level of blatant misandry it took for me to notice.
I'm posting this to get the bad taste out of your mouth.
Hey, I have that same jacket! (or at least, the for-humans version, if that one custom-fits your dog). :D
Cute dog.
posted by pla at 6:32 AM on December 4, 2010
Not just you, actually. I half expected my satiric "turnabout" post above to have vanished before I got back from breakfast, despite my writing it far more tamely than any of the TFAs. Good to see that I got the tone of a topic right for a change - Though as you point out, I don't know if I should brag about that considering the level of blatant misandry it took for me to notice.
I'm posting this to get the bad taste out of your mouth.
Hey, I have that same jacket! (or at least, the for-humans version, if that one custom-fits your dog). :D
Cute dog.
posted by pla at 6:32 AM on December 4, 2010
Guys, this is awesome! The more time Julie Klausner spends writing garbage like this, the less time she has to ruin The Best Show with her insipid unfunny calls. Hey, maybe we can get Jen Kirkman a gig over at The Hairpin, too...
posted by Ian A.T. at 6:36 AM on December 4, 2010
posted by Ian A.T. at 6:36 AM on December 4, 2010
Currently reading Klausner's book, I Don't Care About Your Band, because it looked funny. Not even a hundred pages in and for me, it's quickly becoming I Don't Care About Your Book.
But of course, I will finish it because not finishing books is not in my personality.
posted by Kitteh at 6:39 AM on December 4, 2010
But of course, I will finish it because not finishing books is not in my personality.
posted by Kitteh at 6:39 AM on December 4, 2010
Not funny and annoyingly grating except for this line:
"American Gents: British guys are our Asian ladies."
Oh, so true.
posted by conifer at 6:53 AM on December 4, 2010
"American Gents: British guys are our Asian ladies."
Oh, so true.
posted by conifer at 6:53 AM on December 4, 2010
I kinda wanted to read that, but holy frigging crap was it impossible.
posted by Huck500 at 6:58 AM on December 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Huck500 at 6:58 AM on December 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
Christ, that was some terrible, tedious writing. It reminded me of the coke-and-red-wine fueled ramblings of all the coke-and-red-wine fueled girls I can't hang out with anymore. I read the whole thing twitching nervously and waiting for one of them to accidentally burn me with her cigarette as she gesticulated wildly.
posted by elizardbits at 7:01 AM on December 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by elizardbits at 7:01 AM on December 4, 2010 [1 favorite]
I only tried to read any of it because all of the comments made me curious.
Then I remembered why I don't twitter or facebook (those are verbs these days, no?) and why I still don't want to know what the *stars* are doing. And no, I am not a self-hating feminist, I just think, that's not funny.
posted by emhutchinson at 7:12 AM on December 4, 2010
Then I remembered why I don't twitter or facebook (those are verbs these days, no?) and why I still don't want to know what the *stars* are doing. And no, I am not a self-hating feminist, I just think, that's not funny.
posted by emhutchinson at 7:12 AM on December 4, 2010
I really enjoyed that. I also enjoyed reading the comments. Yeah! I have a new circle of women friends to get me through the winter.
posted by cda at 7:23 AM on December 4, 2010
posted by cda at 7:23 AM on December 4, 2010
C,WA.
posted by Your Time Machine Sucks at 7:30 AM on December 4, 2010
posted by Your Time Machine Sucks at 7:30 AM on December 4, 2010
this post get the shit flagged out of it and be deleted if it was a couple of guys writing about women --- Did you flag it?
posted by crunchland at 7:38 AM on December 4, 2010
posted by crunchland at 7:38 AM on December 4, 2010
tl;dr, but just based on the headlines: Imperioli/Gandolfini/Buscemi.
Is it just me, or would this post get the shit flagged out of it and be deleted if it was a couple of guys writing about women?
Everybody knows this is an old Howard Stern bit, right?
posted by fuse theorem at 7:39 AM on December 4, 2010
Is it just me, or would this post get the shit flagged out of it and be deleted if it was a couple of guys writing about women?
Everybody knows this is an old Howard Stern bit, right?
posted by fuse theorem at 7:39 AM on December 4, 2010
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Do women really talk/think about men this way, or are these writers outliers? Because if it's the former... I'm an anthropologist on Alpha Centauri when it comes to women.
posted by hincandenza at 3:47 AM on December 4, 2010 [1 favorite]