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I saw a preview of Spider-Man so I am calling this a Re-piew.
December 22, 2010 6:40 AM   Subscribe

"People that like Spider-Man and super heroes and villains and violence and kissing would like this play." A six-year-old girl reviews -- sorry, "re-piews" -- the injury-plagued production of Julie Taymor's Spiderman: Turn off the Dark, currently in previews in New York.
posted by escabeche (46 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

 
They really should have gone all the way and made a reality show about the making of this musical.
posted by hermitosis at 6:49 AM on December 22, 2010 [2 favorites]


It's springtime for Hitler and Germany
Deutschland is happy and gay!
We're marching to a faster pace
Look out, here comes the master race!
posted by swift at 6:49 AM on December 22, 2010 [2 favorites]


Sounds like this play needs less kissing.
posted by DU at 6:51 AM on December 22, 2010 [1 favorite]


Break a leg, Julie Taymor.
posted by swift at 6:54 AM on December 22, 2010


Oh man, don't watch that video in the NY Times link. Thud.
posted by 2bucksplus at 6:56 AM on December 22, 2010


He woke up and then he just started bouncing off the walls because he had his super powers. I wish I was in that scene because it was so AWESOME. And I’ll sing the lyrics: “Bouncing off the wa-aa-aalls! Bouncing off the wa-aa-aalls! Bouncing off the wa-aa-aalls! Bouncing off the wa-aa-aalls! Bouncing off the wa-aa-aalls! Bouncing off the wa-aa-aalls!” They actually do it more than six times--more than one hundred, like a trillion.

I assume this was one of Bono's contributions. Sounds like an outtake from one of U2's recent albums.
posted by blucevalo at 6:59 AM on December 22, 2010 [2 favorites]


Her performance was awesome, but her part that was made was not as good as she was acting--like she was doing a better job playing that than the part was.

Astute observation. I have seen SO MANY SHOWS in NYC where this is true.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:05 AM on December 22, 2010 [11 favorites]


It's springtime for Hitler and Germany

I have a story about this. One spring, the drama club at my high school performed I Never Saw Another Butterfly for the students in the school district. One of the actresses was a sweet girl, but not known for being the sharpest izmail in the drawer, so some of the cast and crew decided to play a little joke on her.

When she came into rehearsal one day, the director (who, for better or for worse, was in on the gag) told her that they'd decided to add a musical number to jazz it up a little bit (it's a rather dry play, as you might imagine). The cast and crew proceeded to perform Springtime for Hitler, complete with hastily-organized, swastika-shaped choreography. Highly inappropriate? Yes.

She bought it.
posted by uncleozzy at 7:05 AM on December 22, 2010 [3 favorites]


Looks like her parents take her to a good range of stuff. Added her to my blogspot, looking forward to hearing her thoughts in the future!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:07 AM on December 22, 2010 [1 favorite]


Astute observation.

There appear to be a number of those in there. That is either one very precocoius 6-year-old, or a mommy willing to embellish the stories (or probably both).
posted by uncleozzy at 7:11 AM on December 22, 2010


So many great quotes, here's one of my favorites:

It was awesome because he acted like he hated Spider-Man, but the actor actually likes Spider-Man quite a bit because why would he ask to be in the musical if he really hates Spider-Man?

*****

Her performance was awesome, but her part that was made was not as good as she was acting--like she was doing a better job playing that than the part was.

Astute observation. I have seen SO MANY SHOWS in NYC where this is true.


This is very true in television and film, too. I wonder if this girl is familiar with the Bechdel test.
posted by cottoncandybeard at 7:18 AM on December 22, 2010


I admit to thinking it might be faked, but there's a video about St. Crispin's Day with puppets that I find cute, if bewildering. (I know very little about St. Crispin's Day.)

Her review of The Illiad makes me wish I could've seen it. I was surprised that her parents would take her to see something so violent but kids are pretty wham-slam anyway.
posted by zix at 7:20 AM on December 22, 2010


"They really should have gone all the way and made a reality show about the making of this musical."

Close. This whole "cursed production" thing is really a set-up for a Phantom of the Opera-style whodunnit mystery which will sell twice as many tickets as this one ever could have.
posted by Eideteker at 7:32 AM on December 22, 2010


So.. fifty, Eideteker?
posted by phearlez at 7:40 AM on December 22, 2010


Zix -
If you have any reason to come to Chicago come see the Illiad. It's one of the best show's I've seen in years. The young women are amazing. The script is beautiful and the fighting is the best I've ever seen.
posted by Uncle at 7:58 AM on December 22, 2010


Okay, seriously, I'm sorry. I'm going to make a New Year's resolution and not do this anymore, but:

MetaFilter: The young women are amazing, the script is beautiful and the fighting is the best I've ever seen.
posted by The Bellman at 8:12 AM on December 22, 2010 [3 favorites]


MetaFilter: I'm going to make a New Year's resolution and not do this anymore, but:
posted by Eideteker at 8:27 AM on December 22, 2010 [3 favorites]


Metafilter: but:
posted by swift at 8:34 AM on December 22, 2010 [1 favorite]


Didn't this show get stopped in its tracks yesterday after the new accident this weekend?
posted by filchyboy at 8:42 AM on December 22, 2010


The mantra I incessantly return to on my Facebook status much to the chagrin of friends who were involved with early incarnations of the show (in the "orchestra") goes something like this..

"Well, they're STILL droppin' like flies over at $piderman: Turn Off the Suck!"
posted by ReeMonster at 9:12 AM on December 22, 2010


filchyboy-
Yes that's what the injury-plagued production link is about. Here is a good analysis of the whole ordeal.
Actor's Equity, the NY Dept. of Labor and IATSE have all been to the theater to look over all the stunts, and the show should be running again tonight after 2 canceled shows.
posted by Uncle at 9:23 AM on December 22, 2010


Music by fucking Bono? An incomprehensible plot? A two story fall in to the pit? An ambulance ride while still in costume? All of this? I'm sorry, I realize people have been hurt but literally everything about this play is hilarious.
posted by Tha Race Card at 9:25 AM on December 22, 2010 [1 favorite]


Yeah the only way they could have made it better would have been to drag in Mary Tyler Moore as Holly Golightly or Betty Buckley as Carrie White's mother.
posted by blucevalo at 9:55 AM on December 22, 2010


Uncle, they only cancelled one show, unless you're counting the performance that was "cancelled" 7 minutes before the end.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 9:55 AM on December 22, 2010


From the 'good analysis':
To those using the arguments: “Well, Peter Pan flies lots of people, and they never had these sorts of problems,” or “Cirque does stuff like this all the time, and they never had so many accidents,” or the general “These things are done all the time. Why is this production having so many problems?“ I say: you aren’t paying attention, and have no idea what you are talking about.

Yeah, well I say you are full of it.

These other productions were better planned. The risks are controlled because they know what they are doing. They have risks, but they are managed, controlled risks.

This production is over its head. They are not in control and as a result several people are getting hurt.
posted by eye of newt at 10:26 AM on December 22, 2010


Batman is very rich, but he has had a very sad life, and his parents died, and he hates Christmas because his parents died on Christmas. And Batman is kind of like Peter Parker a little bit because his parents died at a very young age and Peter Parker’s uncle died when he was very young for his uncle to die.

From the Iliad review:

I like fighting because I like Batman.

I hope that she has a long and fruitful career as a reviewer, and that she references Batman in as many reviews as she possibly can.
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:28 AM on December 22, 2010 [1 favorite]


I don't get all the wire problems, the Peter Pan musical was doing flying scenes by wire in 1954. Shouldn't this be something Broadway just knows how to do by now?
posted by Scoo at 10:29 AM on December 22, 2010


I don't get all the wire problems, the Peter Pan musical was doing flying scenes by wire in 1954. Shouldn't this be something Broadway just knows how to do by now?

Peter Pan's wire tricks, as typically staged, are pretty simple point-to-point flying moments. The Spiderman rigs are 4-point rigs made to allow for extended and complicated fight choreography and multiple flight paths. Plus, there's a LOT of flying in this show, not just a peak moment or two.

I think the big difference between this show and a lot of Cirque productions is 1) Cirque shows often have 18-24 months of stunt development, something which Spiderman (despite nearly a decade of pre-production) hasn't had, and 2) most development for Cirque shows would take place away from the audience, while Spiderman has had paying preview audiences for weeks, and will continue to have while it works out the kinks.

It is possibly that Taymor has bitten off more than she can chew with this production, but if Spiderman can pull it all together and actually become a show rather than a joke and an itemized medical bill, it'll be one of those "production for the ages" kind of shows.

Personally, I hope they make it.
posted by hippybear at 10:37 AM on December 22, 2010


I can't help but wonder if this might have better as a Vegas show -- where casts and crews are used to more unusual sets and stunts -- before going to Broadway. I mean, if a douchebag like Criss Angel can get a run here, surely Bono could pull some strings as well.
posted by coolguymichael at 11:03 AM on December 22, 2010


'...if Spiderman can pull it all together and actually become a show rather than a joke and an itemized medical bill, it'll be one of those "production for the ages" kind of shows.'

Well, no. The show itself is reportedly very bad.
posted by Eideteker at 11:39 AM on December 22, 2010 [1 favorite]


I see a win-win possibility here. Use Criss Angel to test all flight rigs. Once there are no more crashes then suit up the actual performer.
posted by Babblesort at 12:02 PM on December 22, 2010 [1 favorite]


If you have any reason to come to Chicago come see the Illiad. It's one of the best show's I've seen in years.

Holy Shit. Please, please let this come to LA. It looks extraordinary.
posted by mr_roboto at 1:04 PM on December 22, 2010


Babblesort, I'll see your Criss Angel and raise you a David Blaine.
posted by BrianJ at 1:11 PM on December 22, 2010


The show itself is reportedly very bad.

In all fairness, it's a show which is over a full month away from actually opening. A lot can happen in 6 or 7 weeks of previews and tweaking. If they make it to opening day, judge it on what is presented then, not what current reports of the show may be.
posted by hippybear at 1:21 PM on December 22, 2010


The Craptacular Spider-Man: Turn Off the Pain - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4.
posted by Artw at 1:48 PM on December 22, 2010


You know, if there were a musical about Spider-Man in the Marvel universe it would probably be something like this. Peter Parker would be appalled by it, but J Jonah Jameson would like it and briefly become infatuated with all things Spider-Man. Then some kind of villain would blow the whole thing up, despite Spider-Mans best efforts and surrounded by comedy confusion of real and fake. Once the dust settles Parker will be a little relieved that the show is ruined, and Jameson would go back to blaming Spidey for everything.
posted by Artw at 1:54 PM on December 22, 2010 [1 favorite]




You know, if there were a musical about Spider-Man in the Marvel universe...

You should pitch that to them...
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:13 PM on December 22, 2010




A lot can happen in 6 or 7 weeks of previews and tweaking.

Although the question is how much you can really change when everything is elaborate and very expensive to start with. You can tweak but not much more without a lot more time than 6 weeks.
posted by smackfu at 3:06 PM on December 22, 2010


They could fill the orchestra pit with gigantic spiked rollers and attach rotating scythes to the ceiling above, that would spice things up a bit.
posted by Artw at 3:43 PM on December 22, 2010 [1 favorite]


Okay: I've been a U2 fan for 20 years, and finally wrote to them just yesterday.

But -- I writing to them as a stage manager, to urge them, "guys, seriously, you need to kill this thing now."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:09 PM on December 22, 2010 [1 favorite]


A lot can happen in 6 or 7 weeks of previews and tweaking.

Perhaps dozens more injuries!
posted by Sidhedevil at 8:26 PM on December 22, 2010


Additional shows have been cancelled, new safety measures introduced and the producers held a meeting with the entire cast and crew to discuss safety issues.

Three were injured at the meeting, although two have already been treated and released from hospital.
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 3:20 PM on December 23, 2010 [1 favorite]




Taiwanese animated news covers the story: Spider-Man wipes out on Broadway
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:19 AM on December 29, 2010


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