It makes so much sense now

December 22, 2010 7:25 AM

This clip of the baby preacher has been floating around the internet for a while. If you've never seen it before, it's memorable - this toddler, too young to be able to talk, is imitating a preacher in front of a church congregation.

If you can believe what you read here, this is the grandson Kanon Tipton of the Rev. David Tipton, who popped up on stage after hearing his name and did this spontaneously.

Well, finally, someone provided us with subtitles. (Been spoofed previously.)

posted by rodmandirect (60 comments total)

He's not too young to be able to talk--he's speaking in tongues.
posted by box at 7:26 AM on December 22, 2010 [5 favorites]

If I were the anti-Christian type, I might say something smarmy about the toddler preaching to the intelligence of the Christian crowd. But I'm not, so I won't.

Instead, as a liberal Catholic elitist theologian I'll say that the toddler was preaching to the intelligence of the megachurch crowd.
[Sits back in chair and puffs on pipe with a smug, self-satisfied look.]
posted by charred husk at 7:35 AM on December 22, 2010 [25 favorites]

And he makes about as much sense as the adult preacher.
posted by sonascope at 7:37 AM on December 22, 2010 [7 favorites]

Kids say the damnedest things.
posted by 2bucksplus at 7:37 AM on December 22, 2010 [7 favorites]

Give me the child until he is seven, and I will show you the man.
posted by jaduncan at 7:39 AM on December 22, 2010 [3 favorites]

Church: sitting in a booth while a man yells at you.
posted by leotrotsky at 7:41 AM on December 22, 2010 [13 favorites]

G.I.G.O.
posted by punkfloyd at 7:42 AM on December 22, 2010 [3 favorites]

I'm so full of the Holy Spirit I just shit myself!
posted by uncleozzy at 7:42 AM on December 22, 2010 [5 favorites]

That was so grindcore.
posted by fleetmouse at 7:45 AM on December 22, 2010 [4 favorites]

Kill it!
posted by keratacon at 7:45 AM on December 22, 2010 [4 favorites]

A little boy who has only recently discovered the ability to create sounds, to communicate very basically in a way that his parents and other adults react, has been given a toy that will make his noises even louder, garnering even more reaction and affection.

This isn't divine intervention or speaking in tongues. This is a child behaving like a child.

Now the folks who are saying "Amen" to a little boy's gibberish? That's something else entirely.
posted by grabbingsand at 7:46 AM on December 22, 2010 [17 favorites]

Now the folks who are saying "Amen" to a little boy's gibberish? That's something else entirely.

I kinda have the feeling that the people in the audience aren't taking it that seriously.
posted by empath at 7:57 AM on December 22, 2010 [6 favorites]

Any time your post includes "has been floating around the internet for a while", you might want to consider if you really want to post it again.
posted by HuronBob at 9:48 AM on December 22

Well bless your heart, I'll pray for you.
posted by Reverend John at 7:59 AM on December 22, 2010 [8 favorites]

Reminds me of this scene from Rat Race.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 8:00 AM on December 22, 2010

hehe, ice cream poop.
posted by orme at 8:00 AM on December 22, 2010

...inside, little Andy was dying. He kept yelling at them, telling them to get out, while they still had their self respect. "Get out, while you still have your money, your retirement savings! Get out! Can't you see what these charlatans are doing?! Get out! Get out, while you still have...your souls..."

They kept cheering and clapping, hooting and hollering.

It was too late for them. And, unknown to Andy, a little seed had been planted. He liked the cheering and clapping. He liked the attention, even though he was frustrated that the crowd didn't understand. Over time, he would come to accept that. In exchange for his own frustration, for thwarting all he knew in his soul to be right...Andy would require...desire...compensation.
posted by Xoebe at 8:03 AM on December 22, 2010 [54 favorites]

I kinda have the feeling that the people in the audience aren't taking it that seriously.

That's me every time I go to church!
posted by sexymofo at 8:04 AM on December 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

hehe, ice cream poop.

this guy is an expert on this subject.
posted by raztaj at 8:07 AM on December 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

>>> I kinda have the feeling that the people in the audience aren't taking it that seriously.

They're probably not. Not entirely. But regardless of how they're interpreting it as a whole, it is a little egregious to treat a child like a spectacle for simply behaving as a child. All the kid knows is that these adults seem to like what he's doing. He has no context for it. So how's he going to feel later, like at a restaurant or some other public place, when he gets in trouble for trying to get everyone's attention gibbering loud and proud?

I'm going to be called out (once again) for having no sense of humor, but this is obnoxious behavior on the part of the parents and adults involved. And is this the same little boy? It must be, and if so, putting the kid in a preacher suit takes it to a whole other level of irresponsibility.
posted by grabbingsand at 8:08 AM on December 22, 2010 [5 favorites]

he certainly says "i didn't do it" a least a couple of times

it's always good for a minister in training to learn the most important things first
posted by pyramid termite at 8:10 AM on December 22, 2010 [3 favorites]

They're probably not. Not entirely. But regardless of how they're interpreting it as a whole, it is a little egregious to treat a child like a spectacle for simply behaving as a child. All the kid knows is that these adults seem to like what he's doing.

And we all know that you should never give kids positive reinforcement for anything.

I mean the whole thing is absurd, but I doubt it's a problem for the kid.
posted by empath at 8:15 AM on December 22, 2010

A microphone can indeed reveal how much a child resembles their parent.

My 15-month-old has a Kitty keyboard that has buttons that play incredibly annoying songs on command (and are constantly pushed), buttons that set up beats and rhythms (also relentlessly pushed), keys that make "meow" notes when pounded upon, and a microphone.

After months of pushing buttons rapidfire to get the thing to play "Polly Wolly", she has discovered it has an amplifying microphone as part of the deal. She pulls out the microphone, carefully leans into it, gauging and adjusting the distance between her mouth and the the angle she's holding it at, and goes "Booop. Booooooooop. Lalala. Aybeyseedee. Boooooop," with the studious care of a seasoned recording engineer, moving the microphone slightly, and trying again, "Boooop Boooooooop. Sea-sea-sea. Lalalalala. Booooooop."

That's right. At less than two years old, she's running mic checks.

That's my girl!
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:15 AM on December 22, 2010 [29 favorites]

To me, this is just like this kid at a parade.
posted by empath at 8:16 AM on December 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

it is a little egregious to treat a child like a spectacle for simply behaving as a child.

children often ARE spectacles

So how's he going to feel later, like at a restaurant or some other public place, when he gets in trouble for trying to get everyone's attention gibbering loud and proud?

children will eventually try this whether you put them up on a stage or not

something tells me you don't have kids
posted by pyramid termite at 8:19 AM on December 22, 2010 [5 favorites]

What all happened to your cuteometers? The congregation loved it because it was adorable!!
posted by By The Grace of God at 8:26 AM on December 22, 2010 [2 favorites]

My kid likes to perform show tunes renditions when given a stage. So go with what you know.*

*I think it's even odds as to which one of these kids-- mine or preacher boy-- is more likely to turn up at a Pride parade.
posted by norm at 8:26 AM on December 22, 2010 [3 favorites]

By The Grace of God: "What all happened to your cuteometers? The congregation loved it because it was adorable!"

Yeah, it was that, too. I feel kinda bad that my comment helped initiate this cynical snarkathon.
posted by charred husk at 8:37 AM on December 22, 2010

Creepy.
posted by LordSludge at 8:39 AM on December 22, 2010 [2 favorites]

So how's he going to feel later, like at a restaurant or some other public place, when he gets in trouble for trying to get everyone's attention gibbering loud and proud?

You ever met these kinda folks? I have a feeling he would be encouraged at a restaurant, too.
posted by nzero at 8:40 AM on December 22, 2010 [2 favorites]

I prefer the parrot who sings "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor." Maybe the parrot and the baby should get together and form a Christiancore band.
posted by naju at 8:41 AM on December 22, 2010 [13 favorites]

Please, watch Marjoe.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0068924/

It's a documentary about a child preacher who eventually burned out as a novelty act. Now, he's back as a adult preacher allowing a film crew to follow him around and talk about the trade.
posted by KaizenSoze at 8:41 AM on December 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

If we heard foreign voices, perhaps middle eastern voices, coming from the adults in the pews, if somehow we got the idea that this was not a "Christian" event...some, perhaps even some in that congregation, might be tempted to use it as evidence of a brewing evil against "us".

And they would be wrong. Children are just children. There is only innocence in them. Until adults teach them fear and insecurity. And then, later, when those same adults teach them how to use fear and insecurity as a weapon.

But in that video, I think we are just seeing a kid turning his spontaneous action into smiles and laughter from the friendly faces of trusted adults. We are just seeing innocence and happiness. I am afraid that might not be the case in the man behind him feeding him lines..."One God..."
posted by nickjadlowe at 8:48 AM on December 22, 2010

I've abandoned my child! I've abandoned my child! I've abandoned my bo.. oh nevermind he's up here on the dais. Come now H. W. there's work to be done.
posted by 2bucksplus at 8:54 AM on December 22, 2010 [5 favorites]

I thought about posting this as well. Thank you for being the canary in the coalmine.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 8:57 AM on December 22, 2010

Child abuse.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:02 AM on December 22, 2010

I thought he seemed more like Sam Kinison than a preacher. Then I remembered that Sam Kinison actually was a preacher.
posted by jrossi4r at 9:06 AM on December 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

I've been told that I did similar things as a child, duplicating the best I could all the ceremony of the catholic masses I was raised on. I never had much of an audience though, unlike this kid. None of it stuck with me though, I'm firmly an atheist, so I wouldn't necessarily worry about this kid becoming a religious zealot or firebrand teacher.
posted by borkencode at 9:10 AM on December 22, 2010

There's less difference between fire-and-brimstone preachin' and hip-hop than I had thought.
posted by Western Infidels at 9:20 AM on December 22, 2010

Wasn't it Jesus who said "let the little children suffer"? Maybe I got that wrong.
posted by fuq at 9:29 AM on December 22, 2010 [2 favorites]

Next up on the You Tubes:

Flash the Wonder Horse will tap out his sermon on how to deal with evil and temptation in the world to the rapt applause of a gullible audience of working and lower middle class religious types eager to get a sprinkle of stardust from the enigmatic preacher who is proof positive that praying brings happiness and success because he drives a late model BMW and lives in a large house with pool and cabana.
posted by MuffinMan at 9:31 AM on December 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

Translated version made me laugh so hard my daughter ran in the room, afraid I was having a heart attack.
posted by stinkycheese at 9:46 AM on December 22, 2010

note the similarity to a certain german leader of the 30's and 40's as well...
nuff sed
posted by Redhush at 9:47 AM on December 22, 2010

If you listen really closely ... I think I can hear ... Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:52 AM on December 22, 2010 [2 favorites]

Pope John... your prayers have worked, you've resurrected my deleted comment... glory be!
posted by HuronBob at 10:00 AM on December 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

Please, watch Marjoe.

posted by KaizenSoze at 4:41 PM on December 22

Came to post exactly that. And the good news is, it's on YT

You want to abuse your kids in this way, evangelists? It may not end well for you.
posted by Decani at 10:05 AM on December 22, 2010

grabbingsand: "This isn't divine intervention or speaking in tongues. This is a child behaving like a child."

1 Corinthians 13:11: When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I had a 10,000,000-view YouTube clip of my antics I ain't never gonna live down.
posted by Rhaomi at 10:09 AM on December 22, 2010 [10 favorites]

Sounds like he is saying: "Whiskey! Whiskey! Whiskey!"

Or maybe it's just the cheap laptop speakers.
posted by mygoditsbob at 10:41 AM on December 22, 2010

Aw, man, it's good to be a Preacher's Kid. or Grandkid. I was both. That kid's gonna have the run of the church before he's 5.
posted by Spatch at 10:56 AM on December 22, 2010

Fucking creepy.
posted by Lobster Garden at 11:40 AM on December 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

The original video creeped me out and made me sad and uncomfortable. But...

Well, finally, someone provided us with subtitles

I had tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. Thank you.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 11:47 AM on December 22, 2010 [2 favorites]

You want to abuse your kids in this way, evangelists? It may not end well for you.

Ended well for Majoe. He got to sleep with Wonder Woman in a film called Bobbie Jo and the Outlaw.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:05 PM on December 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

"Men to whom God is dead worship one another."
— Harry Crews, The Gospel Singer
posted by Haruspex at 3:52 PM on December 22, 2010

I'm a preacher's kid and linguistics major. That kid's got the pragmatics of that particular speech act without as yet having mastered the finer points of grammar and semantics. He is down with the implicatures: You Are All Going to Hell.
posted by eegphalanges at 4:14 PM on December 22, 2010 [1 favorite]

"ALLAH!!"

This video made me laugh so hard the first time I watched it I had to turn it off to catch my breath. God, I love this.
posted by tristeza at 5:26 PM on December 22, 2010

Ended well for Majoe. He got to sleep with Wonder Woman in a film called Bobbie Jo and the Outlaw.

It's also the only movie where Lynda Carter goes topless and displays the WonderBoobies.
posted by jonmc at 6:26 PM on December 22, 2010

made me sad for him
posted by naplesyellow at 6:37 PM on December 22, 2010

"It's also the only movie where Lynda Carter goes topless and displays the WonderBoobies."

Adds Bobbie Jo and the Outlaw to Instant Queue.
posted by e1c at 11:12 AM on December 23, 2010 [1 favorite]

AWWW look! He's damning us to hell.
posted by Trochanter at 11:24 AM on December 23, 2010

Monkey see, monkey do: You'd think this would be a wake up call to the congregation that maybe shaking your fist and yelling at your audience like a menacing caveman may not be the the best strategy for inviting others to accept the love of the Jesus into their hearts.

But then again....squeeeee!!!! That kid is adorable.
posted by Dr. Zira at 1:03 PM on December 23, 2010

[Also, note the best part of his performance, which is the way he hops back to stage right from stage left like a bunny.]
posted by Dr. Zira at 1:09 PM on December 23, 2010