Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf,

September 4, 2001 10:15 PM

Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf, the vitriolic alcoholic and recurring guest on The Howard Stern Show has died. I wonder how he ranked on their Dead Pool...
posted by Down10 (19 comments total)

Do you really want Michael Keaton dead?
posted by owillis at 11:18 PM on September 4, 2001

Actually, dwarfs have a lot of health problems and generally don't live long lives.

And suicide is common.
posted by Steven Den Beste at 11:22 PM on September 4, 2001

R.I.P Hank

The way he drank it seemed like a drawn out suicide.

Now I suppose Stern will make fun of him on the show tomorrow, like he does with all celebrity deaths.
posted by drunkkeith at 11:42 PM on September 4, 2001

I certainly do not want Michael Keaton dead. In fact, I want him to star in the biopic of Hank's life. I'm sure we can shrink him digitally, or remove the length of his arms and legs digitally, a la Gary Sinise in Forrest Gump.

Of course, a friend of a friend already made a film costarring Hank, er, Leo Henry Williams, so I may have missed this gravy train.

Get your posters while you still can.
posted by thebigpoop at 11:51 PM on September 4, 2001

aw. This is sad news. I remember the episode when Howard set him up on a date with some girl and they went on a carriage ride through central park....
posted by rabbit at 2:50 AM on September 5, 2001

In a tangential vein, it's pretty sad that I kinda envy the "whack pack", for all their disabilities and freakishness, simply because those guys have so many more chances getting hooked up with porn stars and strippers than I do. Man, that sucks! I'm not particularly weird, or ugly, or stupid- no wonder I don't score with the ladies!
posted by hincandenza at 3:14 AM on September 5, 2001

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

My favorite Hank line: "If your brain were in a parrot, it would fly backwards."
posted by adampsyche at 4:19 AM on September 5, 2001 [1 favorite]

I remember the episode when Howard set him up on a date with some girl and they went on a carriage ride through central park....

. . . with Hank wearing a Superman outfit.
posted by whuppy at 5:28 AM on September 5, 2001

Howard was suprisingly compassionate during today's show. Jokes were cracked, sure, but it really did seem to be an honest tribute to a beloved guest...
posted by tallman at 5:47 AM on September 5, 2001

Nothing funnier than listening to him fight with bettlejuice.
A giant loss of talent, however maybe Scott Baio can get some work now.
posted by Grok09 at 6:06 AM on September 5, 2001

"suprisingly compassionate?"

Why surprisingly? Regular listeners are aware that there is a true sense of family and friendship among most of the regulars, including "whack packers." Cabbie's comments aside, the show seemed like a heartfelt wake for Hank, with appropriate reminisces of a friend.

On Hank, his some of his more recent (and lucid) appearances, in which he successfully competed with Fred and with Gary in Rock-and-Roll trivia were fun. He was more than just drunk and angry.
posted by fpatrick at 7:53 AM on September 5, 2001

fpatrick, I can't really call myself a regular listener, but I do watch the e-show pretty frequently, and am actually surprised at how little "family and friendship" I see. Despite the image Howard conveyed in Private Parts, I've seen him be downright abusive to Gary, Fred, Jackie, John (who I've met and who seems to be a really nice guy).

Seriously, take a look here; I was amazed by how many things I've seen him do which recalled domestic abuse.

Although Howard does seem completely loyal to Robin, it rarely surprises me anymore when he hangs one of his own out to dry.
posted by Sinner at 8:46 AM on September 5, 2001

damn, shouldn't have slept in today (off of work) and missed howard this morning... he was pretty crazy with the rock 'n roll trivia....
posted by lotsofno at 9:39 AM on September 5, 2001

Sinner-- aren't most families downright abusive? Howard is simply acting out the role of father. Cruel, but underneath it all he loves his family.

Also watching the E show and the movie Private Parts don't give the full picture that the radio show and the book do.
posted by cell divide at 10:23 AM on September 5, 2001

What I'm kinda curious about is, if the Hank's death is alcohol-related, whether Howard will feel any guilt at all for encouraging that kind of behavior from Hank and profiting off of it on his show.
posted by MegoSteve at 10:35 AM on September 5, 2001

Cell Divide - yes, I guess many families are downright abusive. But as I said, the only person on the show to whom Howard seems to defer is Robin. I get the impression - however limited, given that I'm not a radio listener - that he doesn't give a rat's ass about the rest of them. What I mean is, I do see that he seems to love his family - it just seems that Robin's the only one he considers family (to me).
posted by Sinner at 11:24 AM on September 5, 2001

As much as I sometimes find it hard to stomach Howard Stern's radio program, I think Hank's life was probably enriched by Howard Stern's radio show. As are the lives of the other peripheral characters Howard has on his radio program. These are real people who are made into celebrities by Howard's listeners. You think they don't enjoy that? It endears me to Stern, knowing he doesn't push his nose up at a person because they are developmentally disabled, or short.
posted by culberjo at 4:02 PM on September 5, 2001