THE ATHORE REVIEWS ARE TOTOL LIES!

January 10, 2011 5:47 PM

Super PSTW Action RPG is a parody of modern RPGs. Axman13 was not impressed.
posted by empath (38 comments total)

Still to hard. RPGs are clearly not for me.
posted by brundlefly at 5:58 PM on January 10, 2011

Argh! Wrong form of to/too! For shame!
posted by brundlefly at 5:59 PM on January 10, 2011 [1 favorite]

As annoying as its thesis intends. Good job... I guess?
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 5:59 PM on January 10, 2011

Best use of O Fortuna... EVER!

/ComicBookGuy
posted by hippybear at 6:01 PM on January 10, 2011

I enjoyed that second link far more than I should have, I suspect.
posted by Stunt at 6:01 PM on January 10, 2011

(i'm going to go ahead say that I only posted the game so you'd have the needed context for Axman's review)
posted by empath at 6:01 PM on January 10, 2011 [1 favorite]

My carpal tunnels are also not impressed.
posted by TheCoug at 6:02 PM on January 10, 2011

...that's pretty much how it is yes.


right down to the little wings
posted by The Whelk at 6:02 PM on January 10, 2011 [1 favorite]

====================================
WALKTHROUGH FOR THIS POST (SPOILERS)
====================================
by xXx~silby~Xx

1. Skip the first link; it's a fairly obvious parody of CRPGs/JRPGs where
you can only press spacebar and there are no decision points.

2. The second link is a flash animation of a dramatic reading of a
review of the first link written by someone who…missed the point, let's
say. Watch that.

3. Chuckle.

posted by silby at 6:05 PM on January 10, 2011 [13 favorites]

I enjoyed that second link far more than I should have, I suspect.

Related (link to YTMND) - not as good as the second link, but probably the inspiration for it...
posted by bitteroldman at 6:10 PM on January 10, 2011

The sleeping-at-the-inn music, coupled with the midnight attack/fire/nightmare and brief encounter with chief antagonist is perfect.
posted by Dia Nomou Nomo Apethanon at 6:12 PM on January 10, 2011 [1 favorite]

not as good as the second link, but probably the inspiration for it...

Same reader, I think.
posted by empath at 6:15 PM on January 10, 2011 [1 favorite]

I love this game :)
posted by veljko83pfc at 6:18 PM on January 10, 2011

I am currently snowbound in a hotel in, of all places, Atlanta. I am surrounded by shops and restaurants, many of which are not in my area, all of which are closed. I have been in this hotel for over 24 hours now. I saw the review on Twitter this morning.

I have spent all day saying, "Is...bee-ah-COO-azzzz...."

It has kept me from murdering people.
posted by middleclasstool at 6:19 PM on January 10, 2011 [10 favorites]

It's the perfect art game, because there are no game mechanics {/}
posted by hellojed at 6:24 PM on January 10, 2011 [3 favorites]

(i'm going to go ahead say that I only posted the game so you'd have the needed context for Axman's review)

Still, the game is cute *approval*
posted by The Devil Tesla at 6:40 PM on January 10, 2011

Not to get all Know Your Meme up in here, but I think it's safe to assume that the entire "dramatic straight-faced reading of illiterate Internet comment" genre is a direct descendant of How Is Babby Formed [warning: autoplay Flash].
posted by Ian A.T. at 6:47 PM on January 10, 2011

Nah, older than that.
posted by empath at 6:53 PM on January 10, 2011 [2 favorites]

Silby, your walkthrough is missing all sorts of dubious threats, so it's hard to take seriously. Also, I reposted it to gamefaqs.
posted by klangklangston at 6:53 PM on January 10, 2011 [1 favorite]

You mean like

PERMISSION TO REPOST IS GRANTED AS LONG AS YOU PROVIDE
CREDIT TO THE ORIGINAL AUTHOR AND DON'T CHANGE ANYTHING
AND HONOR YOUR PARENTS ELSEWISE THE FIRES OF HEAVEN WILL
BE UPON THEE

posted by silby at 7:02 PM on January 10, 2011

You need something in there about not being used for business purposes, or by the military or weapons contractors too.
posted by bonehead at 7:10 PM on January 10, 2011

LOLILLITERACY
posted by Sys Rq at 7:12 PM on January 10, 2011

One key, one joke.
posted by nanojath at 7:13 PM on January 10, 2011

One key to rule them all
One joke to bind them
One game to bring them all
And with the space bar bind them.
posted by hippybear at 7:21 PM on January 10, 2011 [2 favorites]

WALKTHROUGH FOR THIS POST (SPOILERS)

I'm stuck on the second link. Are there any cheats, or a trainer?
posted by CaseyB at 7:22 PM on January 10, 2011

Worth it for hearing that voice pronounce "beacuase" and "worthles".
posted by gally99 at 8:30 PM on January 10, 2011

Best reading ever.
posted by Scattercat at 8:35 PM on January 10, 2011

ahahahaaha this game was great. Now to watch the review...
posted by rebent at 8:46 PM on January 10, 2011

ohhhh that review was GREAT
posted by rebent at 8:52 PM on January 10, 2011

this just reminds me of how fucking articulate the charachters are in true grit. In contrast to now (highlighted by the review), we communicate in grunts and farts.
posted by hellojed at 9:25 PM on January 10, 2011

The PS is what did it for me.
posted by danb at 9:30 PM on January 10, 2011

This is pretty much how I got through all the Final Fantasy games.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 10:13 PM on January 10, 2011

This is pretty much how I got through all the Final Fantasy games.

Yeah me too, but FF was more difficult because they manufactured difficulty [Warning: TVTropes] by using non-standard buttons. I was half way through disc 2 by the time I got my head around using the O button instead of X in FF7.
posted by doublehappy at 1:32 AM on January 11, 2011

The second link, the review, is much funnier than the actual game... but the music from the first game is awesome. Does anybody know where I can get some looping orchestral nonsense like that fight music? I want to play it on my headphones and just walk around town feeling epic.
posted by Dreadnought at 7:51 AM on January 11, 2011

Yeah me too, but FF was more difficult because they manufactured difficulty [Warning: TVTropes] by using non-standard buttons. I was half way through disc 2 by the time I got my head around using the O button instead of X in FF7.

The key is to refuse to play anything on a system that came out later than 1993!
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 8:26 AM on January 11, 2011

After watching True Grit it had me wondering about how most people actually spoke back in that era. We have speeches, we have letters, and we have newspaper articles, but none strike as being representative of how the average person spoke.

I find it unlikely that the average person in the 1870's had a vocabulary that much larger than the average person today. The letters and speeches we have were written by the literate and educated, and in 1870 around 20% of the total population was illiterate (around 11% of whites, and 79% of blacks [1]). But how "literate" is defined is always an interesting question. The "literacy tests" given to would be voters in the South were not administered to white people, they were granted exceptions due to grandfather clauses. And the data for 1870 is self reported. I'd suspect illiteracy among whites was somewhat higher than reported.

Given all that, it seems to me that the average person in that time period probably spoke very badly. Mattie Ross might have spoken as she was portrayed, but she's educated. The bandits? Ned Pepper? It seems unlikely that he'd be anywhere near as flowery or well spoken.

[1] Unsurprising since teaching blacks to read and write was illegal until the abolition of slavery, and strongly discouraged after that.
posted by sotonohito at 8:31 AM on January 11, 2011

The author of this game has more recently created these games (titles and game text NSFW).
posted by zippy at 10:24 AM on January 11, 2011

I would say it's more cover shooter (or Assassin's Creed) than RPG, but still pretty accurate. The review is very funny.
posted by codacorolla at 11:14 AM on January 11, 2011