September 9, 2001

12:20 PM

Best news ever for the lonely men of the world: Masturbation makes you sexier, healthier, and a better worker.
posted by darukaru (20 comments total)

Hooha! Finally the proof i've been looking for. ALT-F, P. This little number's going straight into my boss' office.
posted by jessie at 12:24 PM on September 9, 2001

Not that we've ever needed any reason before...this just confirms what we already know.

"Regardless of whether you ever get it or not, a man should masturbate with the goal of achieving the perfect sexual experience."
posted by ashbury at 12:25 PM on September 9, 2001

oh, tonight will be a special night indeed.



(j/k.. seriously)
posted by lotsofno at 12:32 PM on September 9, 2001

For more info on the, err, subject, check out JackinWorld.com. The forum is priceless as a peek into the male mind.
posted by dagny at 12:48 PM on September 9, 2001

Yeah, ummmm, I was just practicing, honey!
posted by Darke at 12:49 PM on September 9, 2001

Okay, how come you men get all the attention.????Masterbation also makes women feel sparklier too...

damnit...

*breathes*
posted by gloege at 1:22 PM on September 9, 2001

Gloege: *breathes*

Heavily? ;-)
posted by dagny at 1:35 PM on September 9, 2001

feelingstrangelyaroused
posted by feelinglistless at 1:48 PM on September 9, 2001

If this thing is true, than I am the Nietzschian Superman.
Pardon me, I have a house to paint.
posted by dong_resin at 2:40 PM on September 9, 2001

"Masturbation makes you sexier, healthier, and a better worker."

I am... how you say? Ah jes... Too sexy!
posted by hotdoughnutsnow at 3:05 PM on September 9, 2001

Jocelyn Elders, we lost ye too soon...
posted by saladin at 3:21 PM on September 9, 2001

I'm with gloege: why just the male emphasis? What about women masturbating, huh? (Though admittedly it's the men who have the "one lever just waiting to be pulled" as Captain Jerk would say)
posted by dagnyscott at 7:13 PM on September 9, 2001

Regarding male vs. female masturbation (call me when that makes it to pay-per-view) I must invoke the Seinfeld episode, "The Contest." To men, masturbation is as much a ritual as shaving. Sure, women shave their legs, but not every day.
posted by turaho at 7:20 PM on September 9, 2001

"It's possible to make love to any woman in the world, no matter how much of a feminist she is, how beautiful or otherwise untouchable." (my emphasis)

What, feminists don't have sex?
posted by kidsplate at 7:28 PM on September 9, 2001

Remember, this is a Japanese article, and I am led to believe that Japan is still fairly sexist by our standards. (Please correct me if I'm wrong.)
posted by darukaru at 8:35 PM on September 9, 2001

someone should make sure that StevenDenBeste reads this one. He obviously needs it. (See his post above).
posted by Lynsey at 9:28 PM on September 9, 2001

I like how the name of the page is ....wank.html :P
posted by PWA_BadBoy at 1:42 AM on September 10, 2001

I wonder who did the scientific research on this one... now there's a job for you jerkoff.
posted by ryryslider at 5:13 AM on September 10, 2001

Hold it right there, ladies. Apparently, a diddle a day is just what the doctor ordered.
posted by stefanie at 10:26 AM on September 10, 2001

"Masturbation makes you sexier, healthier, and a better worker."

This can't be true - because otherwise, I'd be the sexiest, healthiest CEO in the entire bi-state region :)
posted by UncleFes at 9:43 PM on September 10, 2001