It would have to be a cocktail made by mixing together every single cocktail ever invented, adding up to a sweet, indistinct slosh to be rectified in vain by mixing it 1 to 10 with Pimm's, then multiplied by 5 with the best dry gin and finally served 2 to 1 with extra dry Champagne. All the best minds would contribute and regret it simultaneously. This would produce a revolting fruit punch even worse than the original, indistinct slosh. And yet, given its expense and democratic nature, it... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 10:58 AM on January 8, 2008

I love this man. I've always loved this man.
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 12:19 PM on May 27, 2007

Soberbo! Fantástico! Excelente! Magnífico! Genial!
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 7:55 AM on February 15, 2007

I was regularly mocked for being Portuguese until I put my foot down and disappeared.
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 9:41 AM on January 3, 2007

Damn. This was the bit where they asked me about MetaFilter and, specifically, my relationship with vacapinta and I'm afraid I lost control.
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 4:12 PM on December 13, 2006

The trick, I think, is to start with a noun and follow it closely with an entirely uncalled-for personal pronoun ("I"), so as to make it seem as if the subject in question is crucially bound up with your own affairs and indistinguishable from your deepest preoccupations. You must annoy.

Then you add an unfunny joke about maroons or mad cows (strained and effete, if possible) and effortfully (as opposed to effortlessly) add an incidental description of your... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 10:29 AM on November 30, 2006

You know, there was a time I was sure Miguel would never be dethroned from his perch atop the Contribution Index.

Well, it's all changed now, has it not, all these young pups, all full of themselves, yapping away, about any triviality you can think of, fuckin' little whippersnappers, disgusting it is, breeding like maggots, commenting like there's no tomorra on anything that passes their way, like fuckin' experts, they are, always full of the snark and... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 10:49 AM on November 9, 2006

*jumps onto running bandwagon*

Hey, I was ordered by the management to post this problem to MetaTalk. So here it is:

Please help me define the a typical Metafilter guy.

I'm working on a screenplay for a 30 minute movie to be shown on Portuguese TV as an episode of a series (brilliantly) called "Communications". I need to personify a Metafilter user who keeps getting phone calls, letters and... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 2:49 PM on October 12, 2006

y2karl is proof that the good life and the internet - even on dial-up, even in small doses - can be one and the same thing.
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 10:35 AM on September 21, 2006

Who the fuck is Adam Savage?
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 8:01 AM on September 15, 2006

Congratulations, Pips and Jon! You will be the living, loving definition, par excellence and sheer cool, of the HMC*.

*Happily married couples, whether gay or not, are the new Rock. Of course, the new Rock takes a while getting used to, but it IS old and it DOES rock and you WILL get the hang of it, believe me!
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 10:13 AM on September 11, 2006

Parabéns, querida Jessamyn, flor mais airosa e jasminzinha do que existe em qualquer jardim!
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 7:01 AM on September 5, 2006

posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 4:07 AM on August 24, 2006

FM stablemates are hot. Beware though: a friend of mine once fondled an FM stablemate's bollocks and he was kicked in the teeth for his tenderness.
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 7:40 AM on August 22, 2006

But you'd have to woo Miguel back. He should be able to have a "fireside chat" sub-section on the site where all anyone talked about was fine wine, cigars, and hot Portuguese models.

Dammit, my hidden agenda's showing!
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 2:32 PM on August 22, 2006

I know you're just enthusiastic and all

O Jessamyn - the cruel familiarity of these words!

*pulls up tights, holds fist to forehead, waves gingerly to all with fluttering fingers, in a most unhamlet-like way*
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 5:42 AM on August 15, 2006

Aww paw widdle Becky's crying and paw liddle Terry and paw little Ferdy because the big bad Portuguese men came and took their liddle semmy-final away. And liddle Roo's mad because that pretty boy Ronny told the big bad referee to send Roo away and then Ronny winked at the other bad Portuguese men and then he scored the winning penalty so now everyone wants their mummy.
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 4:23 PM on July 3, 2006

Matt, Matt, Matt...how many times do I have to tell you that this is not about me?

*waves like a lunatic towards the camera*
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 2:57 PM on June 25, 2006

A large bill is on its way to News Corp as we speak.
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 9:01 AM on June 10, 2006

there are definitely a bunch of short stories worth telling

Oh, the stories we could tell, Ricardo, should the fancy take us... the characters we have known here, all gnarly and well-seasoned... the deadly vamps, the buxom drunks, the gamine trouser-pullers...the secret wimps, the folderol addicts, the bejeweled marxist fops... where, no, when do we start? We can make a killing here, carissimo! We're talking "Mandingo"... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 10:43 AM on May 18, 2006

Ricardo,

Óptimo! If Portugal being beaten by Mexico is what it takes to get you here, so be it - don't worry, I'll make the necessary calls tonight. Hey, for another whisky sour I'll arrange Iran for you as well.

Email follows!

Long time no see. Any chance of you dropping by McMenamins Market St. Pub in downtown Portland, Oregon around 5:30 tomorrow?

Why must you torment me, Arthur? :)
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 12:44 PM on May 18, 2006

And so a new level of lurking is born.
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 4:15 PM on May 10, 2006

*shuffles over to dios, gives him a firm handshake and an ice-cold martini, sits down next to him on the warm sidewalk to watch the unstately cavorting of the rampant mob; sharing a bowl of big, juicy, fat, equally chilled, bright green Manzanilla olives and exchanging quaint notions on Ortega y Gasset and the utter incorrigibility of the masses, whilst sporting the smuggest, most condescending "Oh, the poor, poor bastards - when will they ever learn but on the other hand who gives a shit?... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 8:14 AM on April 27, 2006

*rushes into the kitchen, with much banging, whirring, whooshing and dropping of ice cubes; stalks back out; creeps up behind the cortex and the languagehat and nonchalantly springs the pitcher of just-made icy martinis from behind his back, so cold and alcoholic the first two sips visit a pleasing yet worrying paralysis all the way down the left sides of our handsome faces*
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 9:01 AM on April 27, 2006

Does this mean we can all come back now?
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 7:45 AM on October 20, 2005

*gleefully executes silly little somersault, not completely spilling martini or setting fire to the cat*

You all know you'll soon regret your kind words and, what's worse, I'll be here to remind you of them when I screw up.

And still...

*chokes*

Thanks guys!
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 7:36 AM on October 21, 2005

Old Frasermoo looks radiant - all those Viennese psychotherapists seem to have done a great job. I've known him for donkeys' years and it gladdens my heart he's finally achieved an acceptable level of sanity.

I admit I was slightly unnerved by the top hat - someone who knows his stuff has obviously been able to remove those stubborn, finger-pointing, Pentonville-guaranteeing blood stains.

As all fans of true crime know, this was his headgear... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 6:56 AM on April 10, 2005

Hey, hold the lifetime achievement awards and the trips down memory lane! I feel like Tom Sawyer watching his own funeral and it's not good. I'm still young! I'm even still smoking! Fuck, Sinatra was at least 60 before he started his two solid decades of "Very Last" concerts. Don't do this to me, guys. Of all the tortures I've endured on this beloved board, this has to be the cruellest.

I miss MetaFilter terribly and, as soon as my present troubles are... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 4:57 AM on February 7, 2005

Hey, thanks jon, Sam and Bligh.

Bligh: it's true I took a long time to warm to you but, when I did, I was too much of a coward to pull back. Some old rabbi liked asking people (specially married people) what were the three most important words. Everyone usually answered "I love you" or "I am sorry" but he nodded his head. No, he said, the three most important words were "I was wrong".

Well, I was wrong. About... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 2:01 AM on February 9, 2005

*doffs hat (which shouldn't be wearing at home, but wife is away shopping); extends just-mixed, ice-cold, very dry Martini; claps hands to summon olive-bringers; presses Lisbon housekey into EB's hand; burns cheap image of Virgin Mary in other palm or whatever is now done by Cosa Nostra chappies like us*
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 3:53 AM on February 9, 2005

I'm deeply relieved this is all over as it has brought nothing but trouble to all upstanding users ever since it started and hope it remains in our annals - as deeply embedded as possible - as a lesson to all those who attempt to belittle our achievements and mischievously shorten the left leg of our jeans during our sleep.

(Sorry, just a lame excuse to say, to anyone who's vaguely interested, I'm still here.)... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 9:53 AM on February 7, 2005

Thank you and the best of luck, Jessamyn. This is a genuine case of that much-abused phrase: if anyone can do it - and do it well - it's you. We were lucky to have you (meaning my fingers aren't enough to count the times you've helped me, held my interest, enlightened and amused me. And that's just one grateful user.

Now we're doubly lucky. I hope you don't give up for a long, long time and, for my part, will be as careful and thoughtful as I can possibly be.... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 4:54 AM on January 28, 2005

Sites like 9622 will ultimately fail because people want to air their grievances and make their jokes in front of an audience.

Seanyboy, you surprise me, you unpredictable rapscallions. Audiences are all very well and indeed appreciated but surely a gentleman of your wide reading and experience in life has come across, at some point or another, the concept of "friends"?

Some would argue (I myself, along with the... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 7:09 PM on January 13, 2005

rapscallions is a typo but, having considered that plural form and taking into account your double personalities, I've decided to let it stand. ;)
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 7:13 PM on January 13, 2005

What do you consider an "old timer?"

Bondcliff: say someone who's participated at least once a month for over two years; someone who's noticeably kept track. However rarely she or he feels inclined to actually post - to distinguish them from equally worthy (but less verifiable) lurkers, I think a word or two a month is a fair criterium. Or even every two months even. Regularity is what's sought here (otherwise it would be confusing), rather... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 12:48 PM on December 14, 2004

Somehow, without moderation, approximately the same number of new posts get posted everyday by different users. I'm constantly amazed by this place when I step back and compare it to almost anywhere else on the web.

Well said and very true, vacapinta. It's particularly amazing for those of us who visit daily - the posters keep changing; but there's this astonishingly well established "MeFi house style", despite the fact that, unlike, say.... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 2:27 PM on December 14, 2004

Could someone please tell me what the hell this thread is about?


Dr.Wu: your user number may well be lovely. It is - and I grant you that, with no ill feeling, I assure you. Do not, however, for even a moment, consider otherwise: Is not 18000 the exact number of all those souls lucky enough to live in Sheboygan, Wisconsin?

Yep, the same Sheboygan, from where, as you doubtlessly know, all Cardoso... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 6:33 PM on December 14, 2004

Also, eerily, I can look out the window of the room I'm in right now and see the very building which houses the Wisconsin Historical Society, whence you got the Sheboygan link. I think I will compose a musical paean to this coincidence on my ukulele.

*musical chuckling and chortling*

Damn, you're quick, Dr.Wu. Welcome to Metafilter! :)
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 6:01 AM on December 15, 2004

- Your shock at finding that, like tigers and rattlesnakes. when they're not disturbed, the great beast quonsar, when he's "mostly harmless", is just resting, having recently satisfied his bloodthirst hunger pangs. Or lazily but slyly lulling his prey into that false sense of security which keeps the more gullible living snacks more at hand.

"See? I'm belly-up, dozing motionlessly and that's the true me - hey, I'm nice!" It might be positively... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 12:34 AM on December 16, 2004

My bad, I'll bring it back then.

Wow - my already high admiration for Matt just shot up again. Just what level of greatness is this man aiming for?

Take it down again, Matt and justify your decision by saying something undefendable like "Good link, great Flash application, interesting and never seen before, but not as hilarious as the best Monty Python sketches at the time they were first aired, in the opinion of the... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 5:28 AM on December 9, 2004

Hey, have a really happy birthday, dear Amber - in fact, make it the whole 12 months ahead and consider my wishes refreshed when you're a year (even) wiser!

Miguel is still up there. It'll take a lot more than a few months of quiet behavior for him to fall off the Top 25 ;-)

And I'm very sorry, Shane, but I don't care if this comment severely handicaps my quest to undertake quonsar (#12 at... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 6:10 AM on December 2, 2004

It would allow users to read other contributions by the fellow posters they're interested in; probably introduce some of them to good boards they were unaware of and, for the academically minded, it would permit building a complex genealogical family tree of MetaFilter's web connections. Just an idea, of course.
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 11:19 PM on November 29, 2004

*screws up and bins long speech beginning "As we enter a new Golden Age bla bla bla"*

I couldn't agree more - well, I could, but I'd have to marry you, Stav, and you just live too faraway.

May I be unfair and single out someone whose posts have been an endless joy? Matteo may be an old sourpuss like your good self, except he isn't at all: his posts have been an education, but in that thrilling way pedagogues dream about but somehow... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 2:09 AM on November 25, 2004

One of the best features of MetaFilter, Marxchivist, is the kindness shown by older members to someone's first few posts - you always feel, however snarky they may seem, that they'd genuinely be happy if you found your posting feet.

Everyone's first posts are crap - how could they not be? Even if they're not, they're certainly crap compared to what the same user will post once he or she becomes more proficient and demanding. Real scorn is, quite rightly, reserved for... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 6:42 AM on November 25, 2004

Not true. Some are brilliant. For example, lobakgo's first post.


Or Marchivist's, indeed. I stand happily corrected, homunculus - thank you.
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 11:00 AM on November 25, 2004

It captures better than I ever could the essence of what I've being try to say for over 3 years.

Editor-fom-Hell, that Majcher! :)
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 7:06 AM on November 21, 2004

Thanks to the new members who trusted me enough to send e-mails with their questions - my "feelgood" factor shot up, so much so that I wonder who's getting more out of the exchange.

Feel free, in any case!
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 7:55 AM on November 19, 2004

Although I'm an adversary, I think y6's pointers are useful and well thought out, as well as splendidly presented.

Riffing on Matteo's emphasis on growing a thick skin, I agree this is probably the most important advice for new users. It doesn't mean becoming insensitive - it's grander than that.

It's all about respect and coexistence. We love this place not because it agrees with us but because it's stimulating. Well, respect means exactly... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 11:02 AM on November 18, 2004

Well, even older posters tip the wonderchicken - our wives, before we go online, divide our money into two distinct pockets (the left for wonderchicken tipping; the right for buying unsolicited drinks for the wonderchicken) and this tradition has stood us in good stead - whatever stead is - for weeks on end. In certain circles, it's even considered customary to send a case of vintage Port to South Korea's remotest wonderchicken province whenever you want a post... [more]
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 4:25 AM on November 18, 2004

Please God don't make MetaFilter chirpy and vivacious.
posted to MetaTalk by MiguelCardoso at 10:07 AM on November 18, 2004