Here's the things you did wrong:

1) If you know that you get emotionally attached to someone really easy, then you need to be responsible for pacing your new relationships in the early stages. If some dude wants to hang out with you 10 days in a row, you need to tell him "no", even if it seems very counterintuitive.
2) It's perfectly acceptable to ask a guy "So, is this a friendship thing or a romantic thing? Because I'd like to date you."... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 5:33 PM on July 26, 2008

I think the fact that you are from different classes is kind of a red herring. I think what's really the insurmountable difference between you two is that you are one of those people who has a life plan that she would be shamed to deviate from, and he really has no idea where his life is going to take him. There are positive and negative things to both, but they reeeeeaaaaally don't belong together.

You don't have to break up right this second, but from what you've... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 6:47 AM on July 24, 2008

Specifically, I want language that will make me seem like a reasonable person, and not a random crusader.

If you don't propose something specific that you want them to do, then you're a random crusader (whether you think of yourself that way or not). The specific thing that you want them to do would be to consider having two tags: one that uses the word shit and one that does not.
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 11:49 AM on July 23, 2008 marked best answer

At the end he wrote that "reputation, posterity and cool = fear"... on one level I can see that as being true, yet would it really be a good idea to abandon those things?

And then he wrote: "there is no them."

While that sounds profound and I'm actually attracted to the advice purely based on it's aesthetic, I'm going to go ahead and admit that I have no idea what it means.

You... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 8:17 PM on July 21, 2008

If someone says "You're so thin! I wish I weren't so fat," the response I give is either "Hush" or "Please". It's an easy way to acknowledge that they aren't fat without going all out and enabling their hamfisted compliment-grubbing.
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 1:38 PM on July 21, 2008

"girliness" don't necessarily imply female of any sort

In that case, I'll throw in Tullycraft and The Judy's.
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 11:46 AM on July 18, 2008

I'm always asking female people for a drink or food with no romantic intent. Signalling the romantic intent in this context is trickier. So, maybe — tips for the Asker on making it clear it's a date?

"So, do you want to go out to dinner with me on Wednesday?" = possibly no romantic content. This is how I ask existing friends to go to dinner with me.

"I'd like to take you out to dinner. Are you free Wednesday... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 1:37 PM on July 17, 2008

Am I fair in blaming a snail's-pace relationship on my weak ability to show affection? What can I do to improve myself or get her to understand how I feel about her lack of response?

I totally don't get it. It takes two people to not kiss: one to not kiss, and the other one to also not kiss. If we're just going by actions (and not by your frustrated AskMe question), it seems perfectly understandable if SHE thought that YOU weren't interested in a... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 7:08 AM on July 16, 2008

Thank you all; of course I know the right answer, but I am too much of a coward for that. Since we got engaged I became better at putting these feelings away, telling myself that mature relationships are about commitment, not true love, and circumscribing my life to avoid temptation. Its fallen apart for me a little now, but I can get it back. Maybe that will be enough.

There's no chance of us having kids for at least two years. If we can't make it work by then,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 8:50 PM on July 14, 2008

And at the end of the day, you ridiculed your girlfriend in front of your mother instead of standing up for her. Was this also a repeat offence?

Asking people (who you trust to be honest with you) if someone you are dating is behaving irrationally is not the same as ridiculing that person. It is a bad idea to stand up for the person you are dating without considering whether their behavior warrants defending. I don't see how the heck you can defend... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 7:35 AM on July 12, 2008

Anthrax (nickname: Annie)
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 7:12 AM on July 12, 2008

I've lived most of my life in Texas, and I call them subs.

When I lived in the Bronx, I called them heroes.
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 8:14 AM on July 8, 2008

If you have a representative from each team be the designated answerer (like on Family Feud), then a cheap, fun, accurate way to determine which team was the fastest is to place a playing card within easy reach of both contestants, and say that whoever places their hand on top of it first will get to answer first.
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 7:11 AM on July 8, 2008

And maybe most importantly, why am I hearing these bands but still no Iron Maiden outside of Run To the Hills occasionally and whatever is played on The House of Hair?

People turn on classic rock stations to hear old music that they already know. Why is Maiden not on lots of classic rock playlists? I think it has to do with how many "hits" a band has, and by hits I mean "songs that a casual listener can sing along to". No matter... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 7:03 AM on July 7, 2008

Two more "I can do this" responses -

Me and my friend can both do this. With me, it starts in my chest region and radiates outward, extending everywhere (although it's hard to get it to reach to my feet). With my friend, it starts in her groin area, and radiates out from there (although it's hard for her to get it all the way to her head or her feet). For us, the sensation is similar to how we feel after smoking marijuana. We both agree that the sensation is... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 8:14 AM on July 4, 2008

"Bookbag" and "Cherry Bomb" by Chocolate USA
"Physical Climber" and "Foreign Room" by aMiniature
"Into the Woods" by Silkworm
"Snaptight Wars" by Crayon
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 3:19 PM on July 2, 2008

My mac friends recommend using the gray disk to use the "Disk First Aid" utility, which I could do in five minutes. There are other options I can work on if that doesn't work. (Unless one of you mac geniuses have better ideas)

She works full time, and I have plenty of time off to do this. The thing is that when I offered to help she refused, even though I troubleshoot computers on a regular basis. Hell, when I broght it up she all but snapped at me as... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 10:14 PM on June 30, 2008

I have never met her

Go over there and meet her. Bring some cookies or some shit. Say that you're sorry that the color you picked isn't to her liking, but that you're not going to repaint it because it's the exact color you want. If she starts to get all bitchy, say "Well, I don't want to get into a big argument over this, I just wanted to tell you my decision in person. I've got to be going. Hope you enjoy the cookies."
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 2:31 PM on June 30, 2008

Question for the guys: I've been reading "He's Just Not That Into You," which posits that if a guy is really interested in a woman, he'll pursue her relentlessly, no matter what else is going on in his life. Is this a valid theory?

I don't think this idea is really useful for people for everyone. The idea that interested guys doggedly pursue women they like is quite useful for women who desperately want a LTR but keep... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 8:59 AM on June 29, 2008

When asked, by someone I don't know well, I said that I was a vegetarian. I did this because I didn't feel like explaining why I didn't want to eat an entire hamburger, a hot dog, and an entire half of a chicken, besides all the sides, that day.

I now feel morally put on the spot and obliged to convert the partial lie into truth by becoming a vegetarian. (I feel guilty over lying to this person. I do not fit in well at this workplace, and intend to leave in two... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 8:08 PM on June 25, 2008

One of the more well known ones is The Grey Album by DJ Danger Mouse, which has Jay-Z lyrics on top of Beatles music. Along those same lines, there's also Jay-Zeezer and The Blackest Album (Jazy-Z and Metallica's Black AlbumM's.

None of those have both music and lyrics from popular 70s and 80s rock songs.
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 3:13 PM on June 25, 2008

Before they installed those things that let you pay by debit card, I used to tip about a dollar. Now, I don't tip at all.
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 12:54 PM on June 25, 2008

And are there 4 judges and 21 contestants, or 21 judges and 4 contestants?

Crap. I checked it twice. There are 21 judges and 4 contestants.

I understand that there are innumerable factors at work in any sort of attempt to answer this question with real-world constraints, like contestant quality or judging bias.

I'm just interested in the answers from a purely abstract point of view.
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 11:41 AM on June 24, 2008

You have 21 shuffled decks, each of which has four cards, numbered 1-4. Deal each of them out to four people. Add up each person's deck; whoever has the highest total wins a sandwich. How often do multiple people need to split the sandwich?

Thanks, this question is semantically identical to the one I want answered.
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 11:48 AM on June 24, 2008

I'd love to mark an answer as best, but I have no idea how to judge the correctness of any of the answers.
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 2:12 PM on June 24, 2008

I broke up with her because I just felt that I could be happier with someone else, and felt it wouldn't be fair to just stay with her until that someone else came along... Should I... try to get back together with her and mend things?

Yep, I took out alot of your question, but there it is. Breaking up with her because your heart wasn't in it was a noble thing to do. Had you stayed with her (and treated her well) that might have not been so bad,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 7:15 AM on June 24, 2008

You had something fantastic. It's gone now and not coming back. How do you keep from getting mired in regret?

It's easier to regret the loss of something fantastic if you (mistakenly) believe that it was your only chance at something fantastic. Getting and staying busy are good ideas because not only do they keep your mind from going in a spiral around the impossible, but they start to make you think "Oh yeah I remember now... I'm awesome. I'm... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 9:46 AM on June 23, 2008

What is a good way to look at this?

Making up for your own dad not being there is some heavy stuff for a kid to have to carry, even if he doesn't know that you're doing it. Having a girl means you can just treat her like a daughter instead of a second-chance at something. It sounds alot more healthy.
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 9:37 AM on June 23, 2008

Is my humor counterproductive? Am I really hurting these people with my sarcasm?

Depends on the people. Some people like it, some people don't like it. For the people who don't like it, not everyone dislikes it because they're hurt by it. Some people dislike sarcasm because 1) they find it to be quasi-humor at best (it has a similar set-up to a joke, but then it's not all that funny), 2) some people who are sarcastic often use that as the only way to... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 7:35 AM on June 23, 2008

If those are the messages you "accidentally" found on his cell, I say there's not enough to say either way. Nothing you listed is all that bad. He could be cheating on you, he could be planning on it, or he could just be a flirty guy.
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 2:56 PM on June 21, 2008

Ever since he came back from the trip, he went from being very mean to me to being a sweetheart and back. He would purposely say hurtful things to me like, "well, my friends probably hate you because you're (____)" or bring up how I am unfair and mean to him with examples from years ago. Then a week later, he's back to being a loving boyfriend.

Here's the thing: If he were to write an AskMe about you, it'd say that you are unfair and mean,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 3:31 PM on June 21, 2008

A few years ago, I attended my ex-stepsister's wedding... and my former stepfather pretty much ruined the reception chasing me around and touching me inappropriately, to the point that my stepsister screamed at him in front of everyone and I left early to avoid wrecking her wedding even more.

Assuming that same ex-stepsister is going to be there, ask her to have a pre-emptive "talk" with her dad, something along the lines of "I am not... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 2:41 PM on June 21, 2008

If I could combine these two into one I'd have the perfect guy.

So go find a guy who possesses all of their positive characteristics: fun, passionate, close in age, same life path. It's really not that hard to find.
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 8:46 AM on June 21, 2008

We Will, We Will BANK YOU
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 11:43 AM on June 20, 2008

The Mohawk is a cool bar/club that has lots of all-ages shows.
Take your sister to get a crepe or two.
Take your sister to get a cupcake.
Here is a sno-cone place that is popular (but they have recently taken to pouring a LOT of syrup in their cones and they don't have tangerine).... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 3:29 PM on June 18, 2008

Also, what might make something like this more interesting for you? I'm not interested in providing food every week, but maybe I could have some board/card games available? Any interesting decor-ideas? Anything else I should consider?

If you're not providing any food, you should tell people. If I'm going to a thing at someone's house after the sun goes down for more than an hour or two, I will expect there to be food and drinks. If paying for food is... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 6:32 AM on June 17, 2008

Here's a neat trick that really works:

Sit down at a piano and play ANYTHING as long as it's only on the black keys. It'll always sound good.

I'm going to suggest almost the same thing. Plonk out something only using the white keys.
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 10:07 AM on June 15, 2008

Just about everything a good relationship needs. I can see myself going the long haul with her.

I think you may have greatly overestimated how necessary the things in your "good" list are to a relationship (and underestimated the importance of the things in your "bad" list).

Imagine for a second, if your question was completely flipped around, if you were asking something like: "I have this... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 7:16 AM on June 15, 2008

I guess I'm not too bent out of shape about this particular situation - I was never butterflies-in-my-stomach over this guy. It just pisses me off more than anything, like he doesn't think I deserve a "Hey, can't stand ya!" Human decency would be nice!

I think there has to be some benchmark for when to have a "This isn't working out" conversation. If you've gone out on actual dates with the person, then a "This isn't working... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 7:56 AM on June 14, 2008

Are you old enough to remember a time before everyone had cable TV? The most that anyone had was like 6 channels of TV. Now people have like hundreds of channels. I think that people nowadays are much more likely to be bored by television than people 30 years ago. Lack of choice does not make people bored. I'd say the exact opposite is true: that an excess of choice makes people bored.
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 1:33 PM on June 12, 2008

ante
contra
demo
dis
homo
hyper
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 1:18 PM on June 11, 2008

Yeah, I'm with sondrialiac. She didn't say "Oh, you're German? You should be ashamed." She just said she hates Germans.
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 4:07 PM on June 10, 2008

Say for example some friends and I are watching a movie, and someone adds insight. I sometimes immediately think "yes! I was skirting around that idea myself, but couldn't articulate it so well."

Are you really skirting around the idea, or do you mean "yes! That's exactly the kind of insight I wish I had, but don't."
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 1:40 PM on June 10, 2008

It was asking for clarification.
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 1:58 PM on June 10, 2008

Make a red velvet cake that looks like an alien. Voila, alien autopsy.
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 3:12 PM on June 9, 2008

I don't think this is some sort of male-female divide. If I asked a girl about her fantasies, and she was all "Honestly, I want to fuck all your friends", that wouldn't be cool. I mean, it might be hot if I thought she was just making it all up, but if I thought she was seriously thinking about fucking my friends? Ummm, no. It has little to do with the fact that she's a woman, and more to do with the fact that you've been dating for 6 months.

Like Squeak Attack... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 11:14 AM on June 8, 2008

My wife of 12 years knows I would like to get it on with some of her friends. She asked about said friends, I told her.

Sure, but did you tell her when she was your girlfriend of 6 months?
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 11:06 AM on June 9, 2008

However, after a night downtown with myself and my friends, she gave one of my good friends (who had no idea about our history) oral sex while I was passed-out drunk on the floor no more than 8 feet away in my apartment which I share with my sister.

1. The fact that she's an ex wouldn't bother me. The fact that she's blowing my friend wouldn't bother me. The fact that my houseguests are having sexy times in a room that I am sleeping in would bother... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 11:26 AM on June 8, 2008

That is, I need to know how to enjoy my own company enough so that I don't have pangs of envy whenever I see long-term acquaintances having a great time with each other and with Facebook photos to show for it.

Stop thinking of solitude as some sort of booby-prize in the Friendship Game. If you want to be comfortable in your own company, start increasing the number of things that you do alone which would be better by doing them with someone, and find... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 11:00 AM on June 7, 2008

Her position is that "farmer's market" is to be treated as a proper noun, because we share an understanding of which market she is referring to. Thus, you could say, "Let's go to Farmer's Market". She likens it to saying, "Let's go to Walmart."

I dunno, it sounds like her construction sounds right to her, and she's just chosen a weird way to justify it. There are lots of times were it doesn't make sense to turn a noun... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by 23skidoo at 2:08 AM on June 7, 2008