Activity from Frowner
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Aboard Flights, Conflicts Over Seat Assignments and Religion
Given that this seems to be a minority position among Orthodox people, it sounds like it has more to do with people's unacknowledged desire for power and cruelty than with religion, per se - it's pretty much on a par with wanting to tell the queers that you're not going to sell them a birthday cake. You may say that it's about how bad the queers are, but really, lots of quite conservative people just politely ignore sexuality in a public context; it's really because you… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 9:03 AM on April 9, 2015
Rebel Girl You Are The Queen of Boston
David Cameron's faves include The Jam. Etc, etc, etc.
Paul Weller did basically tell him to fuck right off, though.
I was around for - but peripheral to - riot grrrl. I didn't go to any gatherings and only got to a few shows, so I can't speak to actual enacted racism, but it sure was true that there was nothing about race in any riot grrrl material that I saw, and nothing that was loosely associated with riot grrrl (like… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:45 AM on April 9, 2015
Tolerable, I suppose.
I guess Colin Firth is a bit of an acquired taste. He does look very period-appropriate, though.
Frankly, Mr. Darcy has to have a lot more in the cheekbones and big luminous eyes departments to make up for being...well, I think the problem with Mr. Darcy isn't quite that he's rude and self-absorbed; it's that he's not really an interesting-enough human to make those qualities redeemable. Like, if he were rude, self-absorbed and… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:46 PM on April 8, 2015
Although the doctor in Villette is all right.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:47 PM on April 8, 2015
I mean, Mr. Rochester is actually an evil human being. He's racist, he slut-shames his poor first wife, he's manipulative, etc etc. Mr. Darcy is probably also racist and god knows where all his money comes from (Triangle Trade, probably), but at least he's just a brooding jerk.
I think if I had to marry an Austen hero I would probably pick Captain Wentworth.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:52 PM on April 8, 2015
I have had to watch both the Firth and MacFadyen versions of this more than once, and I get the distinct impression that you are missing out a key quality from the female perspective: hot.
Long, long ago before I gave up men, I went out with a guy who was really hot. Built, as it were, in all the desirable ways. And he was nice. But it didn't make up for the alcoholism or the other interacting-with-people… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:55 PM on April 8, 2015
What I was trying to say is that both Darcy and Rochester are basically held up as attractive in part because they are difficult and brooding and snotty - winning their affection is supposed to be valuable because they dole it out so sparingly*. And while I'm just like everyone else and spent my adolescence attracted to difficult, mean people, my actual adult feeling about both those guys is basically "what do they have to be so snotty about? they're just boring human… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:13 PM on April 8, 2015
Mr Rochester is charming, yes, but consider the way he talks about all the local gentry at the party behind their backs, especially poor Blanche Whoosis, who he totally leads on. We're supposed to believe that she's a bad woman for wanting to marry him for his money, but really she doesn't have a lot of choices, does she? She has to marry someone. He doesn't even seem affectionate towards Housekeeper Lady. He talks smack about a lot of people behind… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:13 PM on April 8, 2015
Actually, one of the main changes in my personality that did not happen until my mid thirties - when I meet a dude who starts out being rude and patronizing, I do not assume he has hidden depths or a tragic past; I just assume he's a misogynist dick and excise him from my social calendar (with occasional reinstatement if there actually has been a misunderstanding or a tragic past, I admit).
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:16 PM on April 8, 2015
This whole discussion makes me think of something that we work to manage in a book discussion group I run - different ways of speaking "inside" and "outside" the story.
The stated logic of Jane Eyre is that Rochester is an abuse victim, as you say, Phalene - he's not loved enough by his family, his wife abuses him, other people use him for his money, etc. And in fact all his power is a kind of illusion - he has… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:06 AM on April 9, 2015
But...but....he has tiny eyes! And medium-sized undistinguished features!!! And he's sort of medium-pallid with medium-colored hair, eyes and mouth!!!
I mean, I'm sure he's a lovely human being and an accomplished actor and much better looking than the average fellow on the street....It's not that, like, I have never dated or been attracted to men, but the more conversations I have with basically straight women about their preferences in dudes, the more I realize that… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:54 AM on April 9, 2015
8 Minutes to Leave the Life
Ugh. I will believe in this nonsense when they start letting me star in a version of this where I have eight minutes to try to convince a cop to stop being a cop - because frankly, if there's one line of work that fucks people up but good, it's being a career police officer.
Jesus god, I just hate everyone.
Also, frankly, the idea that you get to go in and second-guess a woman's (it wouldn't be, like, sexy if he were… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 10:26 AM on April 7, 2015
I think that one has to do some very, very clever ideological footwork indeed to suggest that sex work is ipso facto worse than, eg, sweatshop labor, working as a part time nanny with insecure hours, being a hotel cleaner, etc. It often pays a lot better, for one thing. I happen to know several people who've been in a variety of insecure pink collar jobs and have actively chosen sex work because that is the best choice for them, provides the best livelihood and the best… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:38 PM on April 7, 2015
What I'm saying is that most labor is coerced. Coerced labor vs "free" labor isn't a really useful metric in the type of society we have.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:39 PM on April 7, 2015
I also feel like a lot of people - not people in this thread! - are interested in "rescuing" sex workers as long as they are young, pretty, cis straight women who can be cast as relatively "innocent" victims. Men, older sex workers, sex workers who aren't thin, often sex workers who are not white, sex workers who are gender non-conforming, sex workers who do, like, "weird" stuff, sex workers who have committed crimes or had serious drug addictions - they all seem… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:50 PM on April 7, 2015
I was thinking about this thread earlier. I used - before I had any friends who did sex work - to feel that sex work was a particularly invasive kind of work, presented particular problems separate from routine misogyny, etc. I think what really changed my mind was two things: a nagging feeling in my conscience that I was projecting my own issues about my body and sexuality onto sex work and the fact that most of the writing about prostitution as violation was very, very… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 6:32 AM on April 8, 2015
There's something fishy about fish oil
Did the creator ever follow-up on the health ramifications of his decision to take a powerful antibiotic to kill his entire gut flora so that he wouldn't have to poop? Because that was literally insane.
What? Somehow I missed that entirely. Surely this cannot be.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:15 PM on April 6, 2015
Life Without Water
I...really, truly don't even know how to react to that. It sounds like a terrible idea, but so does Soylent, and apparently Soylent isn't a terrible idea? Or at least, until it's transformed into all that the world's poor are allowed to eat it doesn't seem like a terrible idea?
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:32 PM on April 6, 2015
“I’m not going to stop watering,”
I've got to say, I worry a little bit about rises in the price of water for private citizens. I keep seeing "oh la la it's so cheap that the price could double and no one would care", which is probably true for middle class people. But I know, from public health stuff, that a switch to a $1 co-pay (from zero) for low income communities where people have subsidized care is enough to get people going off their meds. Seemingly very, very small amounts can break… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 6:26 PM on April 5, 2015
How About the Rest of North America?
Also, American Duchess does historical reenactment shoes for people who make and wear historical costumes. They have fairly specific requirements in terms of historical accuracy, and most people aren't going to pay $500 for shoes they're wearing as part of a costume, not for everyday wear.
These actually don't look particularly sturdy to me. They look like they're glued and not sewn, for one thing, and the soles look extremely flimsy. To my mind,… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 11:52 AM on April 3, 2015
It also seems to me like a successful shoemaker could do what Wolverine has done (although on a smaller scale) and offer a boutique/US-made line. That might be an option for these people down the road - most of their shoes are made elsewhere, but they partner with a craft producer for a few US-made models. This might also be a way to transition to more US production over the long haul.
I tend not to believe that the labor picture is particularly good in China, though.… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 11:56 AM on April 3, 2015
The thing about these shoes that separates them out from Alden, Quoddy, etc is that these are women's shoes made on rather idiosyncratic lasts rather than men's shoes and/or workboots. That means that the start-up cost is going to be higher and the market is going to be smaller. I bet that one reason they had trouble finding a US maker is that if you're, say, a small place in Maine who makes for York Street, you're set up to make men's and men's style shoes on a particular kind of last out of a… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:08 PM on April 3, 2015
Bad idea -- speaking from experience, unless they were only worn a few times, they will have conformed to the shape of someone else's feet, and thus will give you blisters and back problems.
The higher quality the original shoe, the more likely it is to be wearable by a second wearer, because the sole will compress less and the exterior will stretch less; also, it is more likely to be well-sized rather than puffy and loose-fitting, so it won't have… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:25 PM on April 3, 2015
Another issue with making women's shoes - most women (especially younger women) are expected to have a large shoe wardrobe which changes a lot, and women's shoes are much more likely to date than men's. Not exclusively, but even if you look at, say, Clark's mid-range shoes from 2005 versus the ones from today, there's quite a lot of change. Never mind looking at shoes from 1995. That's not to say that all women are expected to do this, but I would argue that the majority of… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:41 PM on April 3, 2015
Another goal they might be able to set in the long run - a line of slightly more mainstream-looking boots and shoes at a higher price point from..oh, let's say a Spanish or Mexican maker---something like the boots they already have but a bit more robust and fashion-y.
(I bet you could find a reputable Mexican workshop, though - there are a bunch of places the produce luxury Western boots.)
I mean, if this is just two women who are new to shoe… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:54 PM on April 3, 2015
CYDWOQ asserts that it manufactures in the US - check out their website. I would be extremely surprised if they had moved offshore - they are a very small maker with a long history of US production and even their secondary line, Cliff Dweller, says "Made In California" on it. Being made in the US is their whole thing, and they're not big enough to pull an Allen Edmonds and offshore part of their production.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:03 PM on April 3, 2015
Whoa, Frowner, those Trippen shoes are nifty.
They really are. Any of the "Closed" line are really, really durable - the others can be lovely and are well-made but more delicate. I had mine resoled after a couple of years of wear but for gender-presentation reasons don't really wear them anymore - I gave away one pair and kept one just in case.
I have had several pairs of their boots too via eBay.… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:14 PM on April 3, 2015
The Sockman and Me: Encounters with a Friendly Neighborhood Fetishist
When I was in college I accidentally abandoned my roommate to the ministrations of a guy with a thing for feet. He was in our year, quite good-looking, charming, appealingly punk rock, smart...We were all hanging out. My charismatic, popular and sexually successful roommate was being charismatic, popular and sexually successful and obviously clicked with the guy. As usual when this happened, I took my chagrin, sense of inadequacy and self-hated plus some books off to the student lounge to… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 11:09 AM on April 2, 2015
Lost in the Holacracy
This is like someone took anarchism and subtracted all the actual positives, right?
I mean, sure, maybe everyone will no longer have boring, staid old titles, and people will "self organize"....but I bet the pay structure will stay the same, and if the workers decide to 'self organize" so that people get, say, paid parental leave or the right to wear green and silver liberty spikes to meetings or something, I bet the boom will be lowered pretty damn quick.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:14 PM on March 30, 2015
I mean, the main feature of contemporary management theory is to attempt to compel everyone to act and speak at all times as if their paid labor is a hobby and we live in a financially equal society.
Work is not a "tribe" (which is a creepy and offensive enough term to use on the face of it). Work is the system where the people with the money tell you what to do, accepting your advice when it doesn't cut into their money and accepting your pushback only so… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:18 PM on March 30, 2015
Hot Town, Summer in the City
This is another reason why I get pissed off when I get included as Gen-X. Born in the late 70s and I never saw any of those scary we're-all-gonna-die-in-a-nuclear-holocaust movies or shows that everyone and Douglas Coupland says shaped the generation. Kids like me at that point had Red Dawn and Rocky IV; not sure why you're gonna show them Threads or The Day After when they're 6 or 7 years old. The whole nuclear war thing didn't make any sense to me at all, even as a child. The worst it… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:33 PM on March 25, 2015
If you want something that is queasy-sad (and in its own way I feel like it's more haunting than Threads) you might look at Raymond Briggs's graphic novel When The Wind Blows.
Apropos of nothing at all, I wonder what would have happened in the eighties if there hadn't been such a ramping up of the Cold War along with the AIDS crisis. So many good people worked so hard just to fucking get the word out that nuclear was is not a survivable event and… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 11:51 AM on March 26, 2015
My parents didn't let me see The Day After; I didn't watch it until college, long after I had become (to the limited extent possible for a suburban teenager) active in anti-nuclear politics.
Admittedly, my sainted freshman global studies high school teacher Mr. Jarvis (to whom I would probably credit about 1/3 of my entire adult politics and who was a fantastic human being who deserves many medals) did show us a documentary about the effects of the… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 6:56 AM on March 29, 2015
Actually, my employer-provided insurance got worse and more expensive, and provided my employer with political coverage to axe a bunch of stuff that did not, legally, need to go. (We had, yes, the "Cadillac plan", which is just good insurance, basically). I hate this. I really do. I try not to think about it, because I totally like Obamacare.
The thing is, I would rather have minor problems now, with the assurance that… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:31 PM on March 27, 2015
Making More Time For Work
You didn't have to be some kind of genius to predict this; in fact, I find the whole "oooohhh, the internet has helped polarize society into entitled Silicon Valley assholes and part-time delivery workers, who could have predicted it" thing to be pretty disingenuous. Lots of people did predict it; it was obvious, has been obvious to anyone who has a worker-centered or working class outlook on the world.… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:23 PM on March 27, 2015
What is up with bra sizing, anyway?
Also those online "find your size" widgets don't work well if you are a non-standard size - whenever I try with my actual measurements, it tells me that I should be wearing a band size that is larger than my actual measurement around the breasts....in an A cup. I'm not sure how it would even stay on my body, and there's exactly one maker who even produces them. This is hilarious, as I have no real trouble finding my actual size.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 10:41 AM on March 27, 2015
A Clean Version of Hell
Seriously, the guy who cut himself up, broke a hole in his own skull, used a razor to remove a testicle...but of course was deemed totally sane with an "antisocial disorder". And he wasn't even a violent offender! He had this whole long story of being a non-violent bank robber who befriended a Chinese-American heroin dealer in prison, the heroin dealer was murdered by white supremacists right in front of him, the white supremacists targeted him, he ended up in the… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 3:10 PM on March 26, 2015
One of the subsidiary points of the article is that people end up in these places who are not actually giant security risks. Like the bank robber I was talking about above, for example.
And honestly, the idea that the Unabomber is literally so dangerous to the people around him that he has to be in a supermax prison seems pretty silly to me. Leaving aside any questions about prisons qua prisons, a weedy guy who sent mail bombs is… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:01 PM on March 26, 2015
In the interview, she explains clearly that she said that Obama follows her on Twitter, not that she had "ties" to Obama. She says that she intended this to illustrate that she was a respectable person.
Also, think about if someone were trying to arrest you and sock you in a mental hospital. What would you say? And couldn't almost anything you say seem delusional except if it were absolutely… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 10:26 AM on March 27, 2015
Anti-LGBT Bill Leads SalesForce to Reduce Investments in Indiana
I have family in Indiana and visit there two or three times a year. I'll be very interested to see if the "no gays" signs start going up. Admittedly, Cummins is a big deal where my family lives and I cannot believe that they're going to be cool with the recruitment problems they'd have if things got out of hand. And I mean, when they say frog, local people jump - without Cummins, a huge chunk of the state economy will dry up and blow away.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 11:33 AM on March 26, 2015
Reactions to 'The L Word' Ten Years On
I'm sorry, but only LA lesbians remotely resemble L word types. To the rest of us, they look like Sex & the City with bright pastels, and those are the men.
This was what was so confusing to me, and has in general been confusing to me about queer women characters on television - none of them ever, ever seem even like Super Hot Actress versions of actual queer women I see in life. In a way, I find it more depressing than before -… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:49 PM on March 25, 2015
No, no - the original Amazon was located just off Loring Park on the edge of downtown. It did look like Madwimmin, and that part of town - eighties real estate contraction-era into the early nineties - was Pretty Queer. Ballet of the Dolls is still there, I believe.
Amazon moved to 38th and Chicago after they won their lawsuit and lost their lease. But the world had changed and frankly 38th and Chicago wasn't that good a location for them. I think they were… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:30 PM on March 25, 2015
What I was trying to get at with the "kick-ass" characterization thing was that in some ways I almost preferred it when there weren't queer characters rather than having shitty, depressing, reified, palatable-to-straight-and-male-audiences queer characters. That's not actually a position I would defend, because it's probably better for kids to see the mere fact of being queer as normal and acceptable, but it feels that way sometimes.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:26 AM on March 26, 2015
I would prefer not to.
This is a fascinating article, especially the bit about the different pace of office work in its early days.
However, this has got to be a typo:
One exemplary office, of a New York commission house that sold western and southern produce, was only twenty-five square feet in size but managed to house four partners and six clerical workers, all men. One was an office manager; two clerks handled the major accounts, while a fourth handled… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:41 AM on March 25, 2015
I always thought - possibly because I first encountered Bartleby as a figure for passive worker resistance - that Bartleby would "prefer not" not because there was anything wrong with Bartleby but because the work itself and the work environment were personality-decaying and world-eroding; that the mystery wasn't why Bartleby would rather not but why everyone else would rather. That there was some grain of resistance in Bartleby so that he would… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:27 PM on March 25, 2015
Burmese slaves in the global fish trade
What happens is that slavery (and near-slavery - it sounds as though the other men on the trawlers are as close to slaves as makes no difference, if they get locked up for saying that they want to leave) is used in the periphery to keep prices down in the metropole. That is, food prices have to be low in the center so that voters (and other "legitimate" political actors, and political actors with any kind of power) have less incentive to change the system and… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 6:57 AM on March 25, 2015
It's not a "conspiracy" in the sense that evil cabals meet; it's a "conspiracy" in that it's a function of capitalism that works consistently in certain ways. Prices have to be affordable at the center because people at the center can vote for the powers at the center, or, failing that, riot. Capitalism isn't a conspiracy, but it works like a conspiracy.
Although I bet - given the various food riots elsewhere in recent years -… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:24 AM on March 25, 2015
(Consider food stamps, actually - food stamps are a politically acceptable way to feed people "cheaply" (although getting more and more contentious as the right gets stronger) and we certainly don't have food stamps because the government is full of nice, caring people who just want grandma to eat something besides cat food; we have food stamps because a society where the working class is starving is an unstable society.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:26 AM on March 25, 2015