Activity from Frowner
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Aboard Flights, Conflicts Over Seat Assignments and Religion
Given that this seems to be a minority position among Orthodox people, it sounds like it has more to do with people's unacknowledged desire for power and cruelty than with religion, per se - it's pretty much on a par with wanting to tell the queers that you're not going to sell them a birthday cake. You may say that it's about how bad the queers are, but really, lots of quite conservative people just politely ignore sexuality in a public context; it's really because you… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 9:03 AM on April 9, 2015
Yeah, and if it is—as it seems to be—a rather rare occurrence, the Times' breathless insistence on reporting this (as another episode, I guess, in the long-running serial Jews Behaving Badly) becomes yet another example of majority-group members exerting power over and putting minority-group members down.
I mean, I think it's a story, but it seems like the story is about airline policy more than about a few men who are neither… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 9:16 AM on April 9, 2015
It is much, much less inconvenient to think "Okay, I'm going to swim on Saturdays at 3pm, not at 1pm, because noon to 3 is men-only swim; I am planning ahead and I will go to the store first" than to think "hm, I booked this seat because I really need to be able to stand up during the flight and right now today this guy is telling me I have to move".
There's ideology and there's inconvenience. It's reasonable to say "I may really loathe your… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:53 AM on April 12, 2015
I'm not sure that even could be true. Men and women seem to travel in roughly equal numbers,1 and in a dystopian Handmaids Tale-esque scenario where no women could sit next to any man you'd just end up with a game of musical chairs and one row partially filled.
No, the point is that if any woman at any point can be told that she has to move because she is a source of sin and there's no appeal to that - if there's no traction to say "I don't… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:34 PM on April 15, 2015
Bono is to the Rock Hall what Tom Cruise is to Scientology
We still don't induct a lot of women, do we?
And the "one woman comes to town, one woman leaves town" bit with Houston and Raitt is pretty funny - it's not like we could imagine kicking out a dude in order to make space (even in this imaginary way) for a lady, after all.
Also, the only hall of fame Morrissey belongs in is the hall of fame for people who inexplicably ruin my fond memories of their music by turning… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 9:06 AM on April 15, 2015
Also someday Janelle Monae will be in this Hall of Fame, and maybe then I might conceivably be moved to visit.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 9:07 AM on April 15, 2015
The fundamental seductiveness of the conspiracy theory
I cannot even begin to express the joy I get from pretending that vast swathes of history are just made up - were just made up wholesale by monks, even! It's an excellently SFnal backstory. Also, perhaps we could pick and choose - like, the Emperor Hadrian was real (I like Hadrian) but Charlemagne is just a story; the peasants really won the peasant revolts of the German 15th century, etc. Could we sub in other, better history, eg the unicorn tapestries show real unicorns… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:02 AM on April 14, 2015
The Paradox of the Necktie Resolved
I feel that this essay suffers from a personal dislike of ties and a total forgetting that queer people exist, plus a little bit of Not Quite Reading Enough Fashion History. At the same time, it's a funny provocation. It's very Baffler-y - they seem to have at least partly returned to their celebrated old, sour, I-will-not-respect-your-values-or-be-nice approach from the nineties.
I think that a lot of Graeber's short pieces are mostly intended as a sort of… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 5:21 AM on April 13, 2015
(Also, dude, if you think that ties are bad - I have worn ties, and I have worn womanly office attire, and let me tell you - ties are absolutely nothing on what women have to wear. This is not an argument in favor of ties (although I have a spotted one from Liberty via eBay that is all the go) but really, ties are not nearly as bad as it gets.)
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 5:22 AM on April 13, 2015
I think it's important to be very precise when we talk about who wears what and why - that's part of what Graeber's essay suffers from, too many generalizations about very large stretches of clothing history and too many generalizations about gender. It's an essay whose factual assertions are partly true about certain times and social strata - true enough, I think, to be worth unpacking a bit more.
Also, Graeber is an anarchist, and this is an essay which has anarchist… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 6:18 AM on April 13, 2015
(Just as a point of clarification - I'm not strongly emotionally engaged with Getting People To Like David Graeber. He's an anarchist, I've read some of his essays that I really like, I found his memoir-ish stuff pretty interesting because it's about my general political milieu....basically, I feel about him a lot like I'd feel about any other grumpy, reasonably intelligent anarchist person from around town, this sense of interest and social connection, but not really a sense of I Care Very… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 9:19 AM on April 13, 2015
In terms of shirt fit - I think different people have different degrees of awareness of Things Being Around Their Necks, etc. (Children obviously have different responses to sensory stuff generally; this probably carries over.) So where one person finds it easy to get a well-fitting shirt, another will feel choked or constrained even if they're built similarly and wearing similar shirts.
For instance, I can't wear necklaces, especially short ones - they make me feel… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 6:38 AM on April 14, 2015
"The job of a citizen is to keep his mouth open."
This article is certainly charming, but also very weird, because in my world that's just how people live. I'm a bit odd because I am buying my house (extreme fixer-upper with holes in the walls, etc) and have only two housemates and one spare room when this house could hold at least one and probably two other people. (OTOH, only one bathroom.)
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 5:02 AM on April 10, 2015
To my mind, the tricky thing is getting people who are committed to the arrangement. When it's family, that's relatively easy, but it can be trickier when it's a bunch of young-ish people at different career stages. And you don't want the kids getting used to an adult over a year or two and then having that person just vanish off to wherever - I've seen that be rather difficult for some kids in our social circle, even though all of them have had at least one very caring and stable parent… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 6:34 AM on April 10, 2015
I highly recommend reading the "grotesque Brooklyn clubhouse" link from the beginning of the article in the OP. It is positively science fictional - the scenario is sort of like if someone rewrote James Tiptree's "The Girl Who Was Plugged In" and crossed it with the opening scenes of John Brunner's "The Sheep Look Up" and added a little dab of Octavia Butler's "Parable of the Sower". It's...it's very clever, actually; it's some… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:00 AM on April 10, 2015
How would a mefi commune even work? Would there be a little whiteboard on everyone's doors for favorites? How would the mods handle derails? Would the mods have to, like, totally bulk up in order to be able to "delete" people from a conversation?
I keep envisioning basically a really, really long corridor with doors on either side and every mefite having one room.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 9:30 AM on April 10, 2015
Also - and importantly! - would we use real names?
There are a number of people I know only by their activist noms de guerre from, like, an environmental campaign years and years ago, and a guy I see around town in a respectable capacity but know only as "Spork" from an old, old pirate radio project. And another friend's ex, who has long moved to the suburbs and gone respectable, but whose real name I cannot remember at all and who is forever Wise Dolphin… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 9:33 AM on April 10, 2015
I do not think so, because I live with two other extreme introverts. "Communal" does not have to mean "noisy and in everyone else's business", but the key feature is that everyone must have their own room; also, a group house works much better in this respect than a group apartment. All our bedrooms are upstairs; if people want to be all social and stuff, they use the downstairs.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:55 PM on April 10, 2015
Rebel Girl You Are The Queen of Boston
David Cameron's faves include The Jam. Etc, etc, etc.
Paul Weller did basically tell him to fuck right off, though.
I was around for - but peripheral to - riot grrrl. I didn't go to any gatherings and only got to a few shows, so I can't speak to actual enacted racism, but it sure was true that there was nothing about race in any riot grrrl material that I saw, and nothing that was loosely associated with riot grrrl (like… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:45 AM on April 9, 2015
Although honestly the "and you can just cook all the tortillas" thing doesn't even come close to being excused by ignorance. "I am uncomfortable about being confronted by my own whiteness" - honestly, if you've grown up in a segregated and ignorant place, it's not an attractive fact but it's true that you'll probably find that conversation uncomfortable and say some dumb shit, at least at first; but that's not the same as literally leaving other women to do the cooking.… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 9:09 AM on April 9, 2015
I have very mixed feelings about riot grrrl.
Partly, yes, I am old; fashions of my late teens are now being worn by people in their late teens (and very nice they look, too) and so naturally I have this bias against my youth appearing in the vintage stores and just generally getting turned into an institution because it makes me feel like I have one foot in the grave.
Partly, there's no way that something essentially cool and… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 11:16 AM on April 9, 2015
Oh yeah, and have we all forgotten that Kathleen Hanna played at TERF-Party Michigan Womyn's Fest and has never commented on or apologized for it, despite their "womyn-born-womyn" policy of trans exclusion? How PUNK and FEMINIST and BRAVE of her.
She diiiiid? Wow. I dimly remember reading something in Bitch maybe in 2003 about Michigan and some of the Mr. Lady bands. It's funny, because she has so much… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:27 PM on April 9, 2015
entropicamericana, I own the original release of Personal Best, plus just about every queercore/homocore release I could find to buy between about 1993 and 2000. (If only I had a working record player right now!)
The existence of Team Dresch did not mean that queer women's concerns were well represented or deeply considered in most riot grrrl circles, nor did it mean that the body politics of riot grrrl were all… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:21 PM on April 9, 2015
Frowner that's really interesting, and the exact opposite of my experience in the UK where I was "too girly" for RG (I'm not massively girly). Shamed for wearing makeup, shamed for wearing "slutty" short skirts. I also remember a lot of slagging off of people like Courtney Love, Kim Deal and Tanya Donnolly for being whores, ie attractive to heterosexual men. Those were the words used. Pretty unpleasant, and very unwelcoming (which always seemed to be the point - they… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:02 AM on April 10, 2015
Tolerable, I suppose.
I guess Colin Firth is a bit of an acquired taste. He does look very period-appropriate, though.
Frankly, Mr. Darcy has to have a lot more in the cheekbones and big luminous eyes departments to make up for being...well, I think the problem with Mr. Darcy isn't quite that he's rude and self-absorbed; it's that he's not really an interesting-enough human to make those qualities redeemable. Like, if he were rude, self-absorbed and… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:46 PM on April 8, 2015
Although the doctor in Villette is all right.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:47 PM on April 8, 2015
I mean, Mr. Rochester is actually an evil human being. He's racist, he slut-shames his poor first wife, he's manipulative, etc etc. Mr. Darcy is probably also racist and god knows where all his money comes from (Triangle Trade, probably), but at least he's just a brooding jerk.
I think if I had to marry an Austen hero I would probably pick Captain Wentworth.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:52 PM on April 8, 2015
I have had to watch both the Firth and MacFadyen versions of this more than once, and I get the distinct impression that you are missing out a key quality from the female perspective: hot.
Long, long ago before I gave up men, I went out with a guy who was really hot. Built, as it were, in all the desirable ways. And he was nice. But it didn't make up for the alcoholism or the other interacting-with-people… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:55 PM on April 8, 2015
What I was trying to say is that both Darcy and Rochester are basically held up as attractive in part because they are difficult and brooding and snotty - winning their affection is supposed to be valuable because they dole it out so sparingly*. And while I'm just like everyone else and spent my adolescence attracted to difficult, mean people, my actual adult feeling about both those guys is basically "what do they have to be so snotty about? they're just boring human… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:13 PM on April 8, 2015
Mr Rochester is charming, yes, but consider the way he talks about all the local gentry at the party behind their backs, especially poor Blanche Whoosis, who he totally leads on. We're supposed to believe that she's a bad woman for wanting to marry him for his money, but really she doesn't have a lot of choices, does she? She has to marry someone. He doesn't even seem affectionate towards Housekeeper Lady. He talks smack about a lot of people behind… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:13 PM on April 8, 2015
Actually, one of the main changes in my personality that did not happen until my mid thirties - when I meet a dude who starts out being rude and patronizing, I do not assume he has hidden depths or a tragic past; I just assume he's a misogynist dick and excise him from my social calendar (with occasional reinstatement if there actually has been a misunderstanding or a tragic past, I admit).
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:16 PM on April 8, 2015
This whole discussion makes me think of something that we work to manage in a book discussion group I run - different ways of speaking "inside" and "outside" the story.
The stated logic of Jane Eyre is that Rochester is an abuse victim, as you say, Phalene - he's not loved enough by his family, his wife abuses him, other people use him for his money, etc. And in fact all his power is a kind of illusion - he has… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:06 AM on April 9, 2015
But...but....he has tiny eyes! And medium-sized undistinguished features!!! And he's sort of medium-pallid with medium-colored hair, eyes and mouth!!!
I mean, I'm sure he's a lovely human being and an accomplished actor and much better looking than the average fellow on the street....It's not that, like, I have never dated or been attracted to men, but the more conversations I have with basically straight women about their preferences in dudes, the more I realize that… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:54 AM on April 9, 2015
8 Minutes to Leave the Life
Ugh. I will believe in this nonsense when they start letting me star in a version of this where I have eight minutes to try to convince a cop to stop being a cop - because frankly, if there's one line of work that fucks people up but good, it's being a career police officer.
Jesus god, I just hate everyone.
Also, frankly, the idea that you get to go in and second-guess a woman's (it wouldn't be, like, sexy if he were… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 10:26 AM on April 7, 2015
I think that one has to do some very, very clever ideological footwork indeed to suggest that sex work is ipso facto worse than, eg, sweatshop labor, working as a part time nanny with insecure hours, being a hotel cleaner, etc. It often pays a lot better, for one thing. I happen to know several people who've been in a variety of insecure pink collar jobs and have actively chosen sex work because that is the best choice for them, provides the best livelihood and the best… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:38 PM on April 7, 2015
What I'm saying is that most labor is coerced. Coerced labor vs "free" labor isn't a really useful metric in the type of society we have.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:39 PM on April 7, 2015
I also feel like a lot of people - not people in this thread! - are interested in "rescuing" sex workers as long as they are young, pretty, cis straight women who can be cast as relatively "innocent" victims. Men, older sex workers, sex workers who aren't thin, often sex workers who are not white, sex workers who are gender non-conforming, sex workers who do, like, "weird" stuff, sex workers who have committed crimes or had serious drug addictions - they all seem… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:50 PM on April 7, 2015
I was thinking about this thread earlier. I used - before I had any friends who did sex work - to feel that sex work was a particularly invasive kind of work, presented particular problems separate from routine misogyny, etc. I think what really changed my mind was two things: a nagging feeling in my conscience that I was projecting my own issues about my body and sexuality onto sex work and the fact that most of the writing about prostitution as violation was very, very… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 6:32 AM on April 8, 2015
There's something fishy about fish oil
Did the creator ever follow-up on the health ramifications of his decision to take a powerful antibiotic to kill his entire gut flora so that he wouldn't have to poop? Because that was literally insane.
What? Somehow I missed that entirely. Surely this cannot be.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:15 PM on April 6, 2015
Life Without Water
I...really, truly don't even know how to react to that. It sounds like a terrible idea, but so does Soylent, and apparently Soylent isn't a terrible idea? Or at least, until it's transformed into all that the world's poor are allowed to eat it doesn't seem like a terrible idea?
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:32 PM on April 6, 2015
“I’m not going to stop watering,”
I've got to say, I worry a little bit about rises in the price of water for private citizens. I keep seeing "oh la la it's so cheap that the price could double and no one would care", which is probably true for middle class people. But I know, from public health stuff, that a switch to a $1 co-pay (from zero) for low income communities where people have subsidized care is enough to get people going off their meds. Seemingly very, very small amounts can break… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 6:26 PM on April 5, 2015
How About the Rest of North America?
Bad idea -- speaking from experience, unless they were only worn a few times, they will have conformed to the shape of someone else's feet, and thus will give you blisters and back problems.
The higher quality the original shoe, the more likely it is to be wearable by a second wearer, because the sole will compress less and the exterior will stretch less; also, it is more likely to be well-sized rather than puffy and loose-fitting, so it won't have… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:25 PM on April 3, 2015
Another issue with making women's shoes - most women (especially younger women) are expected to have a large shoe wardrobe which changes a lot, and women's shoes are much more likely to date than men's. Not exclusively, but even if you look at, say, Clark's mid-range shoes from 2005 versus the ones from today, there's quite a lot of change. Never mind looking at shoes from 1995. That's not to say that all women are expected to do this, but I would argue that the majority of… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:41 PM on April 3, 2015
Another goal they might be able to set in the long run - a line of slightly more mainstream-looking boots and shoes at a higher price point from..oh, let's say a Spanish or Mexican maker---something like the boots they already have but a bit more robust and fashion-y.
(I bet you could find a reputable Mexican workshop, though - there are a bunch of places the produce luxury Western boots.)
I mean, if this is just two women who are new to shoe… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:54 PM on April 3, 2015
CYDWOQ asserts that it manufactures in the US - check out their website. I would be extremely surprised if they had moved offshore - they are a very small maker with a long history of US production and even their secondary line, Cliff Dweller, says "Made In California" on it. Being made in the US is their whole thing, and they're not big enough to pull an Allen Edmonds and offshore part of their production.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:03 PM on April 3, 2015
Whoa, Frowner, those Trippen shoes are nifty.
They really are. Any of the "Closed" line are really, really durable - the others can be lovely and are well-made but more delicate. I had mine resoled after a couple of years of wear but for gender-presentation reasons don't really wear them anymore - I gave away one pair and kept one just in case.
I have had several pairs of their boots too via eBay.… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:14 PM on April 3, 2015