Activity from Frowner
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Are Multiple Personalities Always a Disorder?
It seems like an issue with all this is that DID is such a radical difference of subjectivity from how the majority of people experience the world that it's difficult for non-DID people to get their heads around it, difficult to describe and hence difficult to distinguish between people with DID and people who find it comforting to think of themselves as having DID without really having it. It seems as though it's a bit like meeting a person who can see extra colors - if you can't see the… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:00 AM on June 8, 2015
And I can ride with my baby
That is a great essay.
I write this with a painting of Otis Redding hanging above my desk, staring down disapprovingly at me, but no one wants to hear begging anymore. We want don’t want to hear about the love you have to get back, we need to visualize the present love. We need to know that it is possible, even for the worst of us. These are urgent times. Too many people aren’t making it home alive, and so perhaps we are past the age of supplication; we have… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 5:08 PM on June 7, 2015
not that I know who Florence and the Machine or Coldplay are because I don't listen to anything that falls inside Billboard's Top 50
Was this aimed at me? I literally haven't heard much pop music - my parents really restricted what I could hear until my late teens, I went to college far from home and fell in with a bunch of punk rockers and now I'm an Old. So I missed the window on a lot of stuff and don't always understand… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:55 PM on June 7, 2015
Counterpoint: it's on the 50 Shades of Grey soundtrack.
See, this is what's interesting - like, "I Will Survive" is a great popular song (or I think it's a great song, anyway - it's not one of my actual favorites, but I recognize greatness in it) and Donna Summer's "I Feel Love" is a great song (that is one of my favorites)....and they're great songs that dance on the edge of cliche. ("I Feel Love" is… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:26 AM on June 8, 2015
“If you’re lonely when you’re alone, you’re in bad company”
Also "the lone genius" is so often male, because women are less frequently accorded the right to be alone. For every Virginia Woolf, right, a Doris Lessing. For every Joanna Russ, a Marge Piercy.
And really quite a lot of geniuses are gregarious - Samuel Delany seems to get around a bit, and so did Christopher Isherwood, and god knows Michel Foucault was a popular fellow. Goethe? Goethe actually went on his Italian tour at least in part… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 6:14 AM on June 8, 2015
Also, what's meant by "loneliness"? It would be interesting to know just how lonely the average person is. I mean, when Conrad is saying "we live as we dream, alone" he's not just talking about special snowflake creatives*.
There's obvious kinds of loneliness - literally not having anyone in your life to care about and who cares about you, or being separated from those people by force of circumstances. And I think that's the worst kind, the most… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:15 AM on June 8, 2015
“NEVER HOLD THE UMBRELLA AGAIN WHEN WEARING THE PROTECTIVE RAIN HAT.”
I mean, if we were in the global south, surely we would also have, for example, a straw cape or a plastic poncho to shed the rest of the rain.
These really suggest sixties poptimism future more than anything else to me, and as such seem very San Francisco Of The Past. I think sixties poptimism future was very much "culturally appropriative" but not coming from the same place as cultural appropriation today - ie, when you read Samuel Delany's "Time… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:57 AM on June 7, 2015
"one should be free to determine the course of one’s gendered life."
What's very interesting is that the TERFS I know deny that "gender" is anything but an artifact of patriarchy, but act as though gender is a hard biological fact. They really do not act as though they are genderless meat creatures who would be identical to men in their reactions and emotions except for patriarchy. (Perhaps this is because they take their own lived experience into account, just not other people's!)… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 5:23 AM on June 4, 2015
In a sense, I find it easier to compare gender to a vocation. Like, I would be deeply, deeply unhappy if I were not allowed to read [or do something analogous to reading - if I lost my sight, I could still access text-ish kinds of things either via recording or via braille, for instance.] - reading is probably the single most important aspect of my life as I experience it. If I were banned from text for the rest of my life I would probably go into a depression and die. I might be able to make… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:38 PM on June 4, 2015
For me, this has always been hard to understand, since I guess I just don't have a very strong gender identity. I'm a cis woman and I'm comfortable with that, even though I've never been a very "feminine" person, in the stereotypical sense. I feel like I would also be more or less okay with having to live as a man for the rest of my life, if somebody were to cast a spell on me that made everyone see me as male. So I've just struggled to really be able to empathize...… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:10 PM on June 5, 2015
I guess, when I think about it, I think about it as a desire that is deeply rooted in both my body and cultural stuff, and it's a positive desire - a desire to be something. It's not the same as the desire not to be treated as "woman as sex class". I mean, I would be happier in the world if I were not treated as "woman as sex class", yes, but that would not be about my lived gender, it would be about not being treated… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:02 PM on June 5, 2015
I do like the I/E metaphor in terms of expressing the whole "how do you know you're trans/where does your gender identity come from" thing, though, and I think I'm going to add it to my rhetorical toolbox. It really illustrates how you can have something profound and foundational about yourself that can only be known through self-report, and it illustrates how we are generally willing to trust that self report. It also seems… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 5:52 PM on June 5, 2015
"'Excuse me,'" I said, using my bony ass to crush his thigh."
This....is the best.
It's true that I have been utterly spoiled by Minnesota, because even when I have been on a crowded bus or train here, I have rarely observed manspreading. With minor exception, even surly teenagers move their bags or yield their seats to people in need, often with alacrity and good grace. When I lived in Chicago, it was an entirely different thing. I think it has something to do with how entrenched train… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 9:35 AM on June 4, 2015
Extreme Makeover: Classroom Edition
At the same time, "I am a liberal [older person] but these kids today are too radical and it's ruining everything" is a pretty bog-standard narrative and I can think of examples going back to the thirties. "Liberal, but too much", we could call it.
The reason that administrations are canceling band appearances or infringing on various academic freedoms in response to student complaint is because administrations want both to limit liability AND to… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:00 AM on June 4, 2015
If a rigorously protected ability to appeal grades to the chair, the dean, the dean of students, and the board of trustees, if you wish, forcing your professor to justify and thoroughly document your grade isn't enough due process for you, I don't know what to say.
But the thing is, this is so rarely how it works. I was thinking about this because I recently took required classes in the business school toward a certification that I'm… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 6:33 AM on June 4, 2015
Because your mother doesn't work here
In some ways I think it's really easy to draw a pretty straight line from cheap consumer goods--manufactured overseas where you don't see the conditions or have to think about what they're paid, all you care about is your new tshirt or cellphone or whatever--to cheap consumer services where you're assured they're making decent money and the working conditions are good, and any 'independent contractor' who is anything other than perky and cheerful will lose their job.… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 10:58 AM on June 2, 2015
The market is as wide open as a walk-in closet in a sprawling McMansion
You know, those prices that they are quoting, less a 35% cut, are not fair. The tailor still either has to pay rent on a work space or fill their home with professional machines and projects, plus pay for travel, which they don't in ordinary circumstances. Those prices are already too low, and they'd be too low in Minneapolis, never mind fancier places. I actually used to know someone (we had a falling out, sadly) who does bespoke clothes, alterations and specialty work for the theater scene… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:09 AM on June 2, 2015
Okay, I will tell you how much this woman quoted me to copy a coat - $500. She has her own tiny storefront in a street that still supports some old school craft businesses, mostly run by Eastern European immigrants. Her work looks good to me and I'm thinking about it. I have some vintage dresses that I thrifted in the nineties that I can sell and I was going to seek out a good coat (new or used) anyway so it was partly in the budget. I could get a fancy coat made in China or Vietnam - good… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 6:27 AM on June 2, 2015
I mean, the other thing is - keep your money in town! If 35% of your money is flying off to wherever the fuck, that's 35% that isn't circulating through your local economy and creating a multiplier effect.
I have to be much more strict with myself - I tend to buy lots of used stuff on eBay, which is still at least putting money in the pockets of individuals, but I could just say that I am going to concentrate on getting only a few fair trade things. Or I would love to… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 6:48 AM on June 2, 2015
Poverty is the Worst Kind of Violence
Bless $BLOG_OWNER, May his passing cleanse the world
It seems like a significant part of being thought an asshole, though, is the very act of expressing an opinion that the main body doesn't want to encounter.
I think that it's easy to assume that manners can always massage away conflict. Up to a point and in certain fora they can - where there's a formal or informal agreement that certain topics can be discussed from a range of acceptable standpoints as long as you're polite. In some places that… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:49 PM on June 1, 2015
"It is harder for us to be nice to kids"
I did a teaching certificate and then for [huge job market contraction the year I finished and life reasons] did not actually teach. I do some community ed teaching now. Thinking back both on my own time in school and on the teaching I've done, I think that the single most important thing you can do as a teacher - the thing that makes the rest work - is to create a classroom where everyone is heard and acknowledged and everyone has the experience of… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:37 AM on June 1, 2015
As in, not eliminated but literally made the opposite: students struggling academically should be required to participate in an extra-curricular, usually team-based, activity
That sounds like it would be setting up extra-curriculars as punishment and sports as punishment, which I don't think is a good idea. It also sounds like it would put even more time constraints on working class students, who are more likely to struggle and less… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:10 PM on June 1, 2015
It always struck me (as a white person; I was just too old for these dolls when they started getting wider distribution in the nineties) that the Addy doll was maybe the most interesting, because she had a real story. The other dolls seemed historically inaccurate to me, despite their trappings. I remember thinking that it was so interesting that there could be this doll which was designed to recognize the existence and weight of slavery, which was something that not a lot of… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:58 AM on May 29, 2015
I grew up in New Jersey, was never assigned Beloved, and was not introduced to literature by non-white people in any other month than February.
That's interesting. Maybe my school was more liberal than I thought, or maybe there really was a liberal/"multicultural" moment in the nineties. We read Beloved and The Bluest Eye and we discussed the depiction of the slave-owning relatives in… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:59 AM on May 29, 2015
I truly had no idea that Beloved was not basically a set text in high schools across the land - in fact, I had always had a little bit of a problem with the way it seemed to be taught, very much a "here is our Worthy Book By A Black Writer. .....and done" thing with sort of a tragedy-porn angle. It's the one book that virtually everyone I know who wasn't homeschooled read in HS, whether we're talking Missouri, Illinois, Minnesota, South Carolina, California, and… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 10:52 AM on May 29, 2015
(Well, yes, in my comment I did mean to imply "people of my general cohort/background and subsequent to the publication of the book" not "every high school student from the dawn of time".)
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 11:24 AM on May 29, 2015
Consciousness Began When the Gods Stopped Speaking
Money for nothing
The first compact disc I ever purchased for myself - and indeed, the first one I had ever handled - was The Quality Of Mercy Is Not Strenen by the Mekons, an expensive import reissue. I do still have it...in fact, I think I still have virtually all my CDs.
The truth is, I listen to less music now because I hate dealing with MP3s. Also, I really miss making mix CDs for people. I admit that I do enjoy being able to hear just about… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:22 PM on May 28, 2015
"It’s embarrassing to be such a cliché"
(Re "breeder": As I encountered the term, it was an eighties thing that the gays/lesbians used to refer to straight people - an insult from a time when being gay or lesbian was a lot more universally stigmatized than it is now and when, although some GLBTQ people had children from earlier relationships, it was very, very difficult to have children with a partner. The point being, it was very much an insult aimed at a powerful, dominant and often hateful group by a very marginalized… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 10:58 AM on May 27, 2015
The thing is, we all might change our minds about big life choices. I wish I had gone on the Oxford Semester in college because I surmise that it would have set me on a much more fulfilling and respected career path. I could have - I qualified - but for stupid reasons, I didn't. I wish I'd gone to the fancy college that admitted me that I turned down for political reasons. If I'd done one of those two things, I would quite possibly have a much, much… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:15 PM on May 27, 2015
And that's one thing where I do feel sympathy for the childfree who feel guilt tripped. Because who the fuck doesn't want nice food and good vacations and fun activities and a nice home? I have a kid and still want those.
Or, honestly, "not to have to struggle to take kids on the bus because I can't afford a car; not to have to figure out how to make it on one salary because I'm never going to make more money than childcare costs and I'm unlikely… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 11:11 AM on May 28, 2015
American Idiocy - Vol.542
baby, it's time to boogie
before those fixed assets depreciate
Isn't this basically
"then worms shall try
That long preserved virginity,
And your quaint honour turn to dust,
And into ashes all my lust"
only using an accounting metaphor? Slightly less lyrical, but the same idea.
In terms of songs about the… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 3:28 PM on May 25, 2015
I think that a problem with the linked article is that the author doesn't have a clear fix on what she expects popular music to do and how this relates to the role of popular music through (let's say for the sake of argument) modern Western history.
We can infer from the rest of the website (which has some music articles) that the people associated with this project* want popular music to wake up the sheeple, convey important revolutionary information,… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:11 AM on May 26, 2015
You know, yesterday at work someone did something that, though not their fault, was a fool thing and very frustrating, and I found myself waving my hands in the air to indicate that I did not care about making them feel better. (I mean, I did this alone in the office.) It wasn't much of a dance move, though, so I am now skeptical about the whole thing.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 6:42 AM on May 28, 2015
The Theology of Consensus
I've been part of organizations that operated by consensus for most decisions and that worked pretty well - at least as well as the similar organizations that ran on voting. (It's a mistake to think that voting solves the problems of power - holy gee, the faction building alone will break your heart, and one of the worst, most fucked up and racist processes I've ever been part of in a radical scene was run on a vote.)
A lot depends on your organization.… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 9:16 AM on May 27, 2015
(I mean, if there is one thing that is truly bourgeois in activist circles, it is the idea that only Too Much Radicalism prevents a loose agglomeration of people with very different experiences, understandings and goals from coalescing immediately into a process-based group run like...run like what? Have you ever sat in on a union meeting? A faculty meeting? A neighborhood organization meeting? A grant proposal review group? Basically, I guess, middle class people expect… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 9:22 AM on May 27, 2015
( I really, really like the etat routlette thing, actually, and may propose it should I get back involved with a particular project.)
What would actually be useful might be gathering some information about times where consensus is felt to have worked, times where it failed, times where voting worked and times where voting failed.
I suspect, honestly, that there are plenty of organizations which have such foundational problems that any kind of… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 9:48 AM on May 27, 2015
And one more comment - the single most important thing I've found in making groups work on any basis is to take the time to do appropriately chosen group-building stuff. Training for Change, an organization with a rather peculiar underlying ideology, has some excellent tools and trainings for achieving this - whatever little ability I've developed in this area, as an introvert and a grump, has almost all derived from being fortunate enough to attend a two-day intensive… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 9:58 AM on May 27, 2015
(drawing the pejorative "anarchist", you might add. I dunno, I am personally acquainted with probably ten people who call themselves Leninists and with two people who call themselves, incredibly enough, Stalinists - when I think about "Leninist" tactics, it is with some acquaintance with Leninists. The Stalinists are, I tend to think, mostly just confused.)
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 10:30 AM on May 27, 2015
It's simple, really.
Look at Occupy.
Look at Selma.
It's really, really important not to say that the primary difference between these events is one of decision-making process (and clothing choices??!!). This does a huge disservice to civil rights organizers by underestimating the depth and breadth of their work and the many years of organizing that culminated in events like Selma… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 11:22 AM on May 27, 2015
Some very useful organizations emerged from Occupy. I mean, I had no connection to the movement then or now, but calling it a failure because it (eventually) ended and gave way to other things is taking Occupy to be the termination point, rather than a beginning, of a movement, and that doesn't seem to match to the reality of how it drove organization in other ways and in other places (the movement for a higher minimum wage, Occupy Sandy, etc.).
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:04 PM on May 27, 2015
But Quakers, especially here in the midwest where I live, are a remarkably homogenous people with a comprehensive set of shared values. We value process over product; one of the very best business meetings I've ever been part of ended with us minuting our failure to achieve unity.
I think it's really important for us to have an understanding of when homogenousness is a virtue and when it's a flaw, because I think we often default to "all the… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:49 PM on May 27, 2015
Doctoring, Without the Doctor
I assume that there is a supply problem for dentists as there is with doctors, where they control the number of medical school graduates and create barriers to doctors from overseas freely entering the profession here. (I assume that the theory is limiting supply will push up salaries, which clearly works, but at significant social costs.)
Part of the "supply problem" is also because to teach more dental students, you need more… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:26 AM on May 27, 2015
The Human Toll of Quiverfull
ernielundquist - i feel like i read a book at some point where the "wifely dutes/incest" thing was a plot point. i thought it was Bluest Eyes but it's not what i'm thinking of. but i know i've read of it before enough to know that it was "accepted" in just the way you describe. that people tut-tutted but did nothing.
There are fairy tales (versions of Katie Woodencloak and Thousandfur spring to mind) where after the wife dies, the… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 11:20 AM on May 26, 2015
PUT AWAY YOUR FEET YOU HEATHEN
Wait, surely no one actually believes that cut off jeans are a blight on humanity? I would personally suggest some kind of desensitization therapy if that's the case - I mean, that must be like believing that t-shirts are a blight on humanity, or knit hats are.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 4:09 PM on May 24, 2015
"So, what do you do?"
"Have you ever heard of books about imaginary stories? They're a little bit like TV shows like Mad Men or Stargate Atlantis - things that never happened!"
[Checks for understanding, does not attempt to see if listener has any background in field]
"Those books are called fiction, and there's all different kinds! I teach a class about one kind!"
[Gently correct misapprehensions about… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 3:45 PM on May 23, 2015
Ouch. Nope, that isn't it at all, in my experience.
I mean, I should say that I know a number of professional, grant-holding scientists, and they generally seem quite well-socialized and perfectly able to give the elevator version of what they do. You would think it would just be the Significance portion of your average proposal, though.
I did get the tiniest taste of the difficulty of balancing… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:57 PM on May 24, 2015
Unreal Food For The Real World
The driving force with this article isn't as much that she's a historian (notice how dodgily she employs historical example, even if her other work is better) but that she's writing for Jacobin and clearly swings marxist in some way. The key political aspect of the article is right at the end - she's basically saying "we need industrial food production to keep food prices low for the proletariat and we need to organize the proletariat who themselves… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:50 AM on May 23, 2015