Activity from Frowner

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"Furtive Movements"
I don't see them often, but whenever I notice a stop-and-frisk, especially in my neighborhood, I like to observe. Just as an impartial third party, to make sure no one's rights are violated.

Me too! Of course, I'm a white woman of fairly obvious middle-class extraction, so the cops get all flinchy when I stop to watch. I sometimes hesitate because I don't want to humiliate someone by staring at them during a difficult moment, but then there were two... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:28 AM on December 19, 2011
What do you do if they are?

It's truly surprising how even being seen or being photographed or recorded changes cop behavior - that's why they are so desperate to outlaw photography and video.

I mean, in theory I could complain to the City Council, write a letter to the papers, kick up a fuss. That's not really too much if the cops are determined to stand pat - and there won't be any traction if it's just... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:43 AM on December 19, 2011

The Phantom Time Hypothesis
This would make a fantastic premise for a science fiction story - I dibs!!!! There would be some key social or ideological premise rooted in mis-periodization (and mis-periodization would be much more plausible on a colonized planet) and you could work out all the subjectivity/ideological things that result from the realization that history is fragile and uncertain, the past is a mystery, etc. With aliens!
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:06 AM on December 19, 2011

Discovering Autism
You have to wonder how much of this is about our increasingly cut-throat economy and about conformism - parents (like Dias in the first article, who talks about not wanting her son to be an outsider) getting so scared that their kids won't be "normal" or able to make it in our safety-net-less society that they will do anything it takes to game the system and get behavioral coaching. I wonder whether, if I were ten today, I would have an IEP on grounds of being bright, awkward and... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 11:18 AM on December 18, 2011

Layaway In A Manger
This is a wonderful kindness - and something I'll look into doing myself - but I wish that we as a nation didn't lean so heavily on private charity/generous people to compensate for inequality, layoffs, poverty, injustice - there simply aren't enough generous people. And although I understand why folks prioritize kids - and I'd totally prioritize someone with kids over someone like me who is healthy, youngish, college-educated and childless - I wish that people didn't feel that they can only... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:21 PM on December 16, 2011

Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo! I WILL EAT YOUR SOULS! Ring a dong! hop along! fal lal the willow! I WILL EAT YOUR SOULS! Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bombadillo! I WILL EAT YOUR SOULS!
I really like playful/thought-provoking counter-readings like this one. A more scholarly but also interesting one is Franco Moretti's Dialectic of Fear:

At the end of Dracula the vampire’s defeat is complete. Dracula and his lovers are destroyed, Mina Harker is saved at the last moment. Only one cloud darkens the happy ending. In killing Dracula, Quincy P. Morris, the American who has been helping his British friends to save their nation, dies too, almost by... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 10:52 AM on December 16, 2011

A Call to Action
I think texting while driving is incredibly stupid because it's so fiddly, and talking on the phone while driving is probably foolish because IME when one is on the phone in a car one is paying a LOT of attention to the call - whereas when chatting with a passenger one can check out of the conversation and just m-hm a bit if the driving is tricky; also, a passenger usually has the wit to shut up when they can see that the traffic has just gotten dangerous.

I'm worried... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:06 PM on December 15, 2011

How to talk to boys at parties
Now, as a genderqueer person I follow menswear blogs (the fussy, traddy, let-me-tell-you-about-benchmade-shoes ones) obsessively. But...

1. There's a LOT of racism on some of those blogs, whether in the comments or in the actual posts - mostly under the guise of "those POC are so sloppy and lazy for not dressing like the 1950s, [insert remarks about criminality and laziness]" and creepy fetishization of Asian women. Some people, like the Affordable Wardrobe guy,... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 9:45 AM on December 14, 2011
Maybe this is a reaction to the mainstream American association of masculinity with slobby-ness and treating any sign of caring about neatness in appearance as effeminacy?

Maybe this is blogging that claims to be about "men" but explicitly constructs itself to exclude queer men and non-gender-conforming men. I mean, call your blogs "The Manly-Man Queer-Haters Suit-Wearing Association" if you must, but let's at least get that out front. "Reacting" to... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 10:26 AM on December 14, 2011
(By which I mean that you can wear a really nice men's sweater, a button-down, men's benchmade shoes and the traddiest scarf within a mile radius and be neither "masculine" nor a dude nor straight, as I know personally from today's wardrobe choices.....and I'd love a website that could talk about benchmade shoes, ties, fabric, etc without having to telegraph "we like fabric but no homo"....because over here? Homo.)
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 10:29 AM on December 14, 2011
You know, as I've been thinking about this, it occurs to me that men's style blogs are the way they are because masculinity is the way it is - ie, the idea of masculinity (not "how guys act" or "all guys think this is ideal") is basically about never showing weakness and never being openly in an equal relationship with another. Thus the fetish for dependent women (sex workers, women figured as stupid or naive, retro-dependent wives, women as trophies). Thus the other fetish... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 11:08 AM on December 14, 2011
This is what I neglected to mention in discussing the reliance on lists and rules. I think an important aspect of these guys is that they're self-consciously style bloggers, not fashion bloggers. Aside from a few favorites like Michael Bastian, designers don't appear very often on these sites. They're not who you go to for news on Thom Browne or Hedi Slimane; they're much more likely to be writing nerdy posts on some recently discovered trove of deadstock sweaters from the forties. The... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:07 PM on December 14, 2011
This is also why I find the comments about the 1%-ness of these blogs a little odd; once you're dealing with blogs about clothing you're more often than not seeing clothes that are an order of magnitude more expensive than the stuff shown here. These guys do features on the new Lands End catalog, for christ's sake.

Also, simply to be perpetually consuming for fashion's sake (unless you're consuming at the H&M level) takes quite a lot of money, even... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:18 PM on December 14, 2011
Wear something your grandpa would have recognized as being in good taste and hope that civilization holds together enough that your grandchildren would likewise think so.

My grandfather would have disowned me if he'd lived long enough to see me out of the closet. My grandfather would be appalled that I am wearing men's dress boots today.

See what I did there? When objects (boots, jackets, ties, shirts) are used as rigid... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:51 PM on December 14, 2011
your ideal image is closer to a Victorian gentleman with a study of books made of oak, filled with comfortable chairs and a fireplace whom can discuss nearly any subject with some familiarity.

See, that Victorian gentleman was at best implicated in some really dodgy stuff to get to that study - I always think of the Carlyles, who were pretty socially progressive, but whose primary servant slept on the floor in the basement kitchen of... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 6:34 PM on December 14, 2011

Live Well With Less
That under-floor storage - surely that features in many Japanese horror movies, right? Augh, under the floor. Not that it wouldn't be handy for non-corpse-ghost-trapped-victim stuff.

I lived in a really tiny apartment one year - tiny kitchen, bedroom about the size of three twin beds, average bathroom, one average closet. It was beautifully maintained and very cleverly arranged, but WAY too small. (Maybe 150 square feet?) I couldn't have anyone... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:01 AM on December 14, 2011

Led by the child who simply knew

This is a great story, but I hate that it starts with one of the most blatant cliches of gender stereotypes. I hate, hate, hate hearing that someone is "all boy." Being "all boy" is always defined as liking culturally approved boy things. Makes me feel bad for tall the half-boys, and quarter-boys out there. And God save the 1/10 boys. I'm glad the article is very supportive of Nicole, but what about all the kids who were born with boy parts, identify as
... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 5:55 PM on December 11, 2011
(The thing is, it's stupid to try to hold up our time-bound, socially and environmentally- conditioned lives as "proof" of something eternal and essential. In a hundred years (assuming that industrial society is around in a hundred years) we will all experience gender totally differently - I bet that people's reasons for transitioning will be different, the results will be different, the people who transition will be different. Maybe people who want to transition... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 6:00 PM on December 11, 2011

IM MAKING PANCAKES FRESHER THAN A MAFUCKA
But he's not nerdy! He's a hipster! I mean, nice job and it's funny and all and yes, I concur that he is white, and "kid" is a flexible term (since communist "youth" organizers just need to be under 40)...but he's a hipster!
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:19 AM on December 11, 2011

Great gifts for (other people's) Kids!
So I notice that the Very Worst Present In All The Land is a fairly average, not especially "skanky" girl doll with light brown skin who wears fashions not unlike those teen girls have worn since I was a teen back in the dark ages. I feel that there's some race and gender panic in here somewhere. I mean seriously, Bratz and Barbie dolls wear much, much creepier stuff and have much more exaggerated bodies and faces. If anything, the monster girl dolls are creepier and more sexualized.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 10:58 AM on December 8, 2011

Louis CK on Female Culture
When I get up in the morning, for instance, they're already dressed, with their teeth brushed and looking nice. I'm not capable of any of that.

Ladies! We look nice, we smell nice, we thoughtfully remove all that nasty body hair, we take care with our appearance! Ladies are so wonderful! We're constantly "noticing" things about other people, making them feel better, managing their emotions! We're not "little balls... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 9:34 AM on December 8, 2011
You know, when some dude claims to be all feminist and sensitive and stuff and basically says "men are naturally so lazy and selfish and incompetent and dirty and women are naturally so clean and pretty and unselfish and helpful"....well, I understand that dude to be saying "I am going to keep doing whatever the hell I want - lazily, selfishly, messily - and I really love it that the ladies pick up after me and make me feel nice, so I will keep them happy by empty praise, ladies... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 9:52 AM on December 8, 2011

Beers, Jocks, and Queers
"The end of gay culture" - that depends so much on how you think of gay culture.

There's a viewpoint that being gay/lesbian/queer actively creates queer subjectivities - that we aren't just regular folks who happen to sleep with other queers. Sometimes this is "we have critical distance on mainstream culture, plus we have to actually think critically about our gender expression and place in the world, giving rise naturally to a more... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:38 PM on December 7, 2011
they're just folks who are quite similar to me but who have sex with people of the same sex.

Ok, the sarc answer is "well, that's because you're straight, duh, and the queerer folks are ( the less likely they are to be comfortable/accepted in straight culture, while GLBTQ folks who want to fit in with straight people (or have a lot of internalized homophobia) tend to hang out more in straight spaces". I mean, there are... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 6:28 AM on December 8, 2011

WM3 four months later
I'm reminded of something that happened when I was in high school - something that seems related to the other discussion about Mumia Abu-Jamal.

There was this bully, see. Eddie H----. In retrospect, he was obviously from a messed-up working class home, but he was absolutely tenacious, nasty and terrifying to me. He had a real gift of torment and he never, ever stopped. I hated him so much that I can still feel a physical surge of rage and helplessness when I... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:59 PM on December 7, 2011

Now what am I going to do with all these signs
That is a super disingenous NY Times article. The Mumia case doesn't make any sense unless you talk about MOVE and Abu-Jamal's previous political work, and about the political climate in Philadelphia prior to the case.

To me, this is pretty much the same as saying that the guy is innocent - cops and courts never back down on these cases or admit wrongdoing, so the fact that they've given up on trying to kill the guy really says... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 11:57 AM on December 7, 2011
I think it's worth asking what the "Free Mumia" case says about various activist cultures - it certainly has been a knee-jerk kind of thing and a lot of people's commitment to it is pretty shallow. Here's what springs to mind:

1. Mumia is pretty charismatic, also handsome and a good writer. He's perceptive and smart. It's easy to root for him.

2. Folks have forgotten MOVE, a genuinely weird Africanist... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:26 PM on December 7, 2011
After familiarizing myself with the case, trail, state appeals, habeas proceedings, etc., is there any real doubt that he killed the guy? I understand the deficiencies in the procedure, counsel, racial elements and death penalty activism, but...people really think he is innocent?

IME a lot of people say "Mumia Abu-Jamal is innocent" and mean "he was set up or something else intervened such that he was not morally culpable" - in... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:00 PM on December 7, 2011
(Also I add that there is no "left" take on the case - an anarchist would talk very differently about the case than a democratic socialist than a left-liberal, etc etc, partly because each would have a different theory of the courts and the police....actually, come to that, a labor anarchist would probably have different ideas than a green anarchist, etc etc.)
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:09 PM on December 7, 2011
And also, would you say the same of someone who was convicted of raping a child?

If you're going to have courts, the courts themselves have to be above reproach. Otherwise, you might as well say "the police should arrest everyone and keep us all in low-security gulags, because among all citizens are bound to be a number of rapists and pedophiles, so the probity of the police and courts don't matter."
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:10 PM on December 7, 2011
Really not seeing the distinction there. Murder is illegal, regardless of what you've seen, experienced or if you are "messed up."

But even the courts take circumstances into account to a degree, right? I don't really understand this narrowly proceduralist mentality except as a desire to identify with the punishing authority rather than with everyday people. We must punish everyone equally (except we don't punish the rich and powerful very... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:39 PM on December 7, 2011

" I've always been acutely aware of how much society hates me because I'm disabled"
I've been feeling this way for a while now. In some ways "civility" is simply a weapon of the powerful against the powerless.

I would favorite this a hundred times if I could. The many, many things that it is impolite to mention - anything about racial bias, or how poor people actually have to live, or anything that suggests that maybe, just maybe being marginalized in this society isn't simply a character failing along... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:49 PM on December 6, 2011
Also, after reading that "daring to go out shopping in a wheelchair and being called a 'scrounger' by actual adults" piece, I have to ask UK mefites: what the hell is happening in your country? No, really, you people are worse than us now, which is hard to believe and I completely fail to understand how it happened. Just please understand that what is happening - what has become acceptable in the last 5 years with the surveillance cameras and the ASBO stuff and this 'scrounger'... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:53 PM on December 6, 2011
(Not "you people"...the government, the far right....Not mefites. And believe me, I'm goddamn hypercritical of the US.)
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:54 PM on December 6, 2011

An Institution in Transition
It seems like what's happening is this (I come from a family containing several generations of librarians, the youngest of whom left library work in despair):

Disaster capitalism, basically. We need - regular people need - more access to computers and a public space to use them in. Marginalized people in particular need these things - homeless people, refugees, youth. All those people need public gathering places protected from the weather, in any case. There aren't... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:21 AM on December 5, 2011

Fuckaround-itis
Is it possible to care deeply about and be deeply interested in something without turning into a snobby jerk about it? Like, why go through life thinking scornfully of all those people who don't weightlift seriously? And do you ever stop, that is do you think that your mom would be a better person if she could press 1.2 times her weight with no straps or whatever accoutrement one uses?

As far as how the dude looks, I think extreme... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:26 PM on December 4, 2011
Also, the parallel to the fussy-routines-with-too-much-wacky-theory that he's complaining about is oversimplified-routines-ideologized-as-macho-common-sense. Surprisingly enough, the universe seems no more amenable to single-etiology when it's "common sense" than when it's "this secret supplement will give you eternal youth" or whatever.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:28 PM on December 4, 2011
"I See Weak People"

In my dreams? No. In gyms? Yes. Walking around like regular people. They don't see each other. They only see what they want to see. They don't know they're weak.


Seriously? We're really rising to the defense of someone who sounds like he wants to make the trains run on time? Horror at physical weakness is actually, literally a fascist trope - it's not "snarkiness", it's... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 9:11 PM on December 4, 2011

Life After Death
When I was growing up in the suburbs, I knew that I was queer and left wing, and back in the day before the internet when you had no connections to anything, ACT-UP and Queer Nation were all the activist stuff you'd ever see in the papers. AIDS novels were the only novels you'd see about queer folks at the library. It's so strange because I was socialized into this activism, this worldview right in the early nineties before the drugs came out, and then everything changed, it's true.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 5:52 AM on December 3, 2011

Two, not one, singularities
The thing is, science fiction does predict the future, but always in the things that get overlooked. Like, John Brunner's The Sheep Look Up - the novel is mainly about the experience of pervasive social and sexual corruption and decadence, plus a huge overdetermined environmental/social disaster. But it's not really predictive on that level - writing in the early seventies, Brunner assumes that a loosening of sexual mores, for example,... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 6:44 AM on December 1, 2011

"You will feel like a fool, and that will last for about two weeks."
Honestly, this is the same process you go through in, say, a graduate history program. Your understanding of the Wars of the Roses (say) becomes much more complex than what you thought before. If you're a big dumb-head, you assume that no one else can have a new idea about the Wars of the Roses without having (say) detailed expertise in the household effects of the parties involved, and you talk patronizingly to outsiders and competitively to people around you. If you're reasonably... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:54 PM on November 30, 2011

Everybody Out!
If people "aren't supposed to strike" because it will inconvenience (even seriously inconvenience) others, where does that logic end? If I'm a nurse, should I work for a dollar a day because otherwise I'm leaving my patients?

I think blaming the British unions of the seventies and eighties for the Tories is going it a little - I'm not British, but this particular period in the UK has always fascinated me so I've read a bit about it. The recession of the... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:51 AM on November 30, 2011

"I would rather be sitting back home at my desk, believe me. But this is too important."
I have never really understood Habermas, because all the things he wants seem to rely on this "public sphere" of rational, equal, rather cookie-cutter citizens (the kind of citizens who are implicitly figured as white, male, middle-class, etc etc) all of whom have and want access to a certain type of information and all of whom are happy to leave the public sphere and a (certain, undefined) private sphere separate. That is, in some alternate reality where Europe was populated... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:11 PM on November 28, 2011

A descent into madness, of a particularly gruesome kind
Lisbeth Salander, the heroine of the popular The Girl With a Dragon Tattoo series, is emotionally stunted but, damn it, she actualizes herself! She punishes the people who hurt her, she sleeps with whomever she wishes, she zips around on a motorcycle, and she’s a master computer hacker. In other words, our actualized female heroine might as well be a tiny man.

I always wonder, as a queer person who zips around on their bike, is a bit emotionally... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:10 PM on November 18, 2011
(...and as if our gender performance comes from our over-valuation of the masculine rather than anything else. Like, I am not a persuasive public speaker because I think I'm a dude, all right?)
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:12 PM on November 18, 2011
Lisbeth Salander, the heroine of the popular The Girl With a Dragon Tattoo series, is emotionally stunted but, damn it, she actualizes herself! She punishes the people who hurt her, she sleeps with whomever she wishes, she zips around on a motorcycle, and she’s a master computer hacker. In other words, our actualized female heroine might as well be a tiny man.

There's this really specific self-critique in feminism and queer theory which basically... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:23 PM on November 18, 2011
Um, femmes can do all of those things too.

And the really good ones can do it without breaking a single nail.


But see, here we get slippage about what it means to be "femme". Which I have no trouble with at all, yeah, but there's this whole discourse about "femme" as opposed to "queer masculinity" or "trans masculinity". I mean, if we want "femme" to mean "anyone who wears... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:30 PM on November 18, 2011
In short, I think there's this slippage between "femme" and "conventionally coded as feminine" which gets confusing as a basis for a theoretical analysis. Like, I can be an emotionally-present sexually submissive butch person (although actually I'm not), you can be a ninja with stealth glitter skills and no ability to talk about your feelings and then what?

"Femme" and "butch" seem to me -as I think about it at this very moment,... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:34 PM on November 18, 2011
Wait, wait. Are people now saying that it's somehow 'un-feminist' to 'act like a man' and transcend gender roles? Really? I thought that was the whole point of feminism. And "Tiny Man" is now a common term? I thought it was a really odd way to describe the heroine.

I am posting too much and I have to leave in a minute.

There are a LOT of feminisms and a lot of feminist concerns and a lot of social circles.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:37 PM on November 18, 2011
(And just before I leave for real, I want to say that Critique-of-Masculinity-Radical-Queer World and Mainstream World are TOTALLY different. Something that I disagree with in Radical Queer World context (like treating "femme" and "butch" as clearly defined categories with no slippage) might be something that would be a useful starter point of inquiry in Mainstream World.

It's like, I have FAR more in common with and care more for someone I... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:43 PM on November 18, 2011

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