Activity from Frowner
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Battle hymn of the frog mother
I seem to have been raised by parents who carefully concealed their French nationality to the point of speaking with a Chicago accent.
As much as I disapprove of all this "here's how to be a good parent! No, here! Let's use another nation as a stick to beat US women with!" routine, I am a bit confused by what the article assumes are the norms of US parenting. My family was a bit odd and authoritarian in some ways, but I never felt that our day to day lives… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 3:28 PM on February 4, 2012
I have an aesthetic distaste for programs like this one, even though I tend to like classical music more than I like, say, Beyonce. It just seems so contemptuous, like we're all supposed to snicker about how the yout' are so stupid and so uncultured that we can drive them away by playing intellectual music! It's of a piece with that thing where older folks will sometimes drive around playing classical music really, really loudly on their car stereos,… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:40 AM on February 3, 2012
It's of a piece with that thing where older folks will sometimes drive around playing classical music really, really loudly on their car stereos, thinking that they are just being hiLARiously transgressive.
Not familiar with that particular thing. Maybe they're just upping the volume for deafness on account of being old?
Oh, I have ridden in the car with an older folk doing this - and by older, I mean "older than teens and… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:42 AM on February 3, 2012
I was totally taken aback by that. My initial reaction was: "That would never happen in America. Instead, the mayor would say that the homeless people should have known better than to try and sleep outside in this weather instead of going to a shelter. And then the city govt would take stronger measures to make sure that 'improper use' of subway stations didn't increase during the winter months."
Absolutely. Here in liberal Minneapolis/St… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:54 AM on February 4, 2012
He cried during the last “Lord of the Rings” movie.
Many of these dealbreakers make me think "but that wouldn't bother me if I liked the person enough"...but perhaps that's because I tend to know people fairly well before we actually progress to dating.
Vis-a-vis books: None the less, I wouldn't want to date someone who doesn't read much because a lot of what I talk and think about is stuff I'm reading, and it's not very general things along the lines of "I'm reading a book about abortion politics, let's… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:16 PM on February 3, 2012
Neutrality Policy and the Wall of Silence
Speaking from direct, personal experience... Minnesota in the mid-80s to mid-90s was the land of Mondale and Humphrey--with a handful of extremist conservatives. It was a place dominated by lilly white people and snowy landscapes. The population had a penchant for doing good deeds. One of them was attracting people of different cultures who had serious needs. First, the Hmong, then Korean adoptions, then South Asians, then Somalis.
It is indeed very… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 9:08 AM on February 3, 2012
But it seems like that didnt happen with the Somalis.
I don't feel that this is true at all. I think that some Somali folks have had a hard time being accepted because of anti-black racism and because of bias against Muslims. But I live in a neighborhood with lots of Somali people and there are tons of Somali businesses - some serving mostly Somalis, some more general. There are also a number of Somali hires at my job, and of… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 9:19 AM on February 3, 2012
there's no time to remove the bones. just eat the whole thing!
I remember reading an article in Gourmet back in the eighties - when I was a mere slip of a girl - in which the writer talked about how he was going on some intentionally super-high-cholesterol kick, eating all these fancy but terrible-for-you foods in large quantities and a short timespan. He said that he'd been to the doctor and had found that he had a really fast metabolism and extremely low cholesterol and specifically dis-recommended his project to most people. I am… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:54 AM on February 3, 2012
Top five regrets of the dying
I wish that I had let myself be happier.
I'm struggling a little to believe that anyone actually said that, whatever it means. It sounds more like what Ware thinks they ought to have said.
Huh. To me, this sounds like the most plausible one - or at least the one where there's the most possibility for not having it as a regret.
Although I am weirdly reminded of Peter Beagle's deeply… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:33 AM on February 2, 2012
It's interesting that lists like these are used as sort of a hedge - a way to make even death fit neatly into the practical middle class approach to capitalism. They turn death into just one more thing where you have a checklist - Make sure I don't regret not calling mom! Make sure I don't regret not going to Hawai'i! And they extend death through life, right? Your whole life becomes an exercise in "how shall I prepare to regret nothing on my deathbed?" When by contrast you could… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:49 AM on February 2, 2012
It's interesting that lists like these are used as sort of a hedge - a way to make even death fit neatly into the practical middle class approach to capitalism. They turn death into just one more thing where you have a checklist - Make sure I don't regret not calling mom! Make sure I don't regret not going to Hawai'i!
Okay, it's poor form to quote oneself, but I realized that I hadn't expressed my thought very well (and lord knows I don't want to… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:11 AM on February 2, 2012
(armchair Marxists polemicize
I always wonder how one transitions from "armchair Marxist" to some other kind. Like, do you literally have to run a marxist state or can you just engage in social justice and community activism based on marxist principles? Not that I personally am a marxist, of course. And I would classify myself more as an "in bed reading the internet anarchist" since honestly the armchairs at my house are not as comfortable for loafing.)
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 10:01 AM on February 2, 2012
Professor: today's students vs his memories
"last year, I read a paper that advanced the idea that "back in the day" — by which the writer meant the 1990s — people didn’t commit adultery, and homosexuality didn't exist."
I just want to point out that I, a deeply nerdy person who actually read a ton of 19th century novels in their teens and who enjoyed almost everything assigned in high school lit classes with the exception of A Member of the Wedding, once… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 9:23 AM on February 1, 2012
Do you love what you do?
It says they've found some new names for workaholism - it's now called "meaning" and "passion".
The rhetoric of "meaning" comes to the fore now because
1. Most people can't have "meaningful" work under capitalism as it's presently constituted - seriously, the folks harvesting tomatoes and washing diapers in the retirement home and scrubbing the toilets at the mall and working the… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:26 PM on January 31, 2012
“I would love to have like 3 close friends."
The article presents a large amount of evidence that Ravi was, in fact, deliberately harassing his roomate, did, in fact, attempt to tape his roomate having sex and broadcast it to as many people as he had access to via Twitter, and did, in fact, do this because he was disgusted by the idea that his roomate was having sex with another man. After he found out his roomate was on to him, he moved to cover his tracks and encouraged Wei to lie to the police. I don't see how the… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 11:21 AM on January 30, 2012
If there is tacit agreement that individuals as old as 18 are still "half-formed," careless babes, we should up the age of majority rather than extend a special understanding to a particular few. What I see developing is a strange, counter-intuitive pattern in which the meaner, more spiteful and premeditated the behavior, the more likely it is to attract claims that it's just "kids being kids." Even if those kids can, e.g., enlist in the armed forces and… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:43 PM on January 30, 2012
Are animal rescues doing animals a disservice?
Thank goodness we just found our little cat hunting mice in our yard. She was so tiny and skinny that you could see all her ribs, and so anxious and tired that she literally fell asleep in my arms when we finally built enough trust to pick her up. Now she is the boss of our creaky old Victorian, which I suppose would not have passed muster with the shelter since we're still fixing it up. She goes to the fanciest vet in town and eats only the best food from the yuppie pet store (while we shop… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:47 AM on January 30, 2012
History doesn't always repeat itself; sometimes it rhymes
I've always had a soft spot for Old Fritz ever since I learnt his asshole father forced him to watch the execution of the man who was almost certainly his lover, Hans Hermann von Katte. It's a wonder that Fritz did not govern as a monster after that experience and turned out as well as he did.
When they figure out time travel, I am so going to destroy history by going back and making this not happen.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:28 AM on January 25, 2012
What're the profit margins on a Trojan Horse?
80000hours makes a related argument. Rather than emphasizing changing the system from within, they make a utilitarian argument for the amount of good a wealthy person can do, essentially suggesting people become professional philanphropists.
Not to knock some wealthy people I know who've supported good local causes, but:
1. The process of becoming wealthy (or being integrated into any strongly ideological system) changes… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 6:11 AM on January 25, 2012
Oxycontin - The Pill of Pain
The draconian regulations around the prescription painkiller that he takes - vicodin - are such that he typically goes a week or two between refills, so every time he gets, yes, physical withdrawal symptoms. Every time he has to suffer for no god damn reason. Every time he has to go back on vicodin, which makes it very difficult to get to sleep for a couple days on its own.
This kind of thing, yes. I am far, far more worried that I'll get cancer or… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 6:24 AM on January 24, 2012
Disco Inferno: The Five EPs
Oh, dude, I love Disco Inferno! Although they have one of the most misleading-on-first-hearing band names ever. "Even the sea sides against us", "a crash at every speed", wow, they are so brilliant. (I'm not sure when "dude" became my cri de coeur of enthusiasm, though. Perhaps it's better than 'woot")
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 3:27 PM on January 23, 2012
Part of the D-Tour Collection
Okay, see, I just had a flash of insight. The thing is, back before the internet, developing a nerd level of knowledge about a non-standard topic was really difficult - whether the topic was the work of Spinoza (which is still sort of difficult) or the history of Legos or the minor record labels of the early seventies. That information was really specialized and it was all on tiny pieces of paper and old magazines and specialist books somewhere. I remember, for crying out loud, that it was… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 6:44 AM on January 22, 2012
Christiania goes Wall Street
For those adverse to such a commitment of owning something, and instead interested in an abstract way to rent a Brooklyn apartment, I'll give you my PayPal address if you send me a message.
Not to be all "you people just don't get it" but you really, really don't. Christiania means something to anarchists and anti-authoritarians worldwide, for example. Giving money to get the state off their backs - I don't need a "share" to want… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:50 PM on January 17, 2012
Asking $13 million in donations to pay off the state...I'm not sure Bakunin would approve.
Being extorted $14 million by the state in order not to displace a large and important community - that's what I see going on here. Of course, I'm an anarchist, so I believe that the squatters are entitled to the land and shouldn't have to pay at all. I don't give a good goddamn what Bakunin would have said, because I am an anarchist and not some… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:33 PM on January 17, 2012
'Speeders, we call them.'
Do you know what? Some fucking asshole stood on my porch in the dark some time between 10pm and 6am and patiently unpicked the pinlock seat-securing thing and took it. We're down the street from a place where a lot of punk bike types congregate, and a connection said that there are unethical punk bike types (which is not to impugn all punk bike types by any means) who cannibalize bikes for parts, justifying it with "clearly no one rides that bike"....I surmise that… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:35 PM on January 13, 2012
If the individual girl scout is participating in the program, you can buy the cookies and have them sent to deployed troops. you know, to save your waistlines.
As much as I hate all of our military engagements and believe that people usually come out of the military worse than they go in, I will totally send our troops cookies, because nobody should be stuck on [probably miserable, scary] deployment and miss out on cookies too.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:01 PM on January 11, 2012
He wouldn't have survived a Liefeld cover
Food reporting from the Stephen Bloom School of Journalism
Weird. I've never had trouble when traveling as a vegetarian - sometimes it's meant that lunch is onion rings and a salad, sometimes it's meant grilled cheese - more often, it's meant "stop at the grocery store and pick up the ingredients for a nice little cheese and cracker plate plus a spinach salad".
If you're complaining that the food outside major metropolitan areas can be icky if you don't take enough time to figure out where to go… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 11:41 AM on January 11, 2012
Has there ever actually been good fantasy literature with well-crafted prose but a constructed, compellingly real world?
Everyone should at once read Samuel Delany's Neveryon books, which have the additional advantage of being a commentary on the early days of continental philosophy's rise in the US, and also being in parts and very sadly about the early days of the AIDS epidemic. Seriously, they are sword-and-sorcery and not high fantasy, but they're pretty great.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 11:17 AM on January 11, 2012
Whatever, marriage is overrated anyway
The one thing I worry about with the reception of these videos (which I like a lot otherwise) has to do with a flaw in my own character and with the idea that social change happens predominantly at the level of language.
My character flaw is that I get really hung up on sussing out the rules - I love "stupid things people say, so don't say them" type stuff because I am always worried about accidentally saying stupid or cruel or just annoying… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:39 AM on January 11, 2012
I'm really interested in the idea that videos like this are intended to "start a dialogue" or "help build awareness" and all that jazz. I love the videos, but I find it really jarring that the majority is so quick to take ownership of them. Straight girls, I don't think the video is for you. I think it's for other gay men like me. This guy basically made a documentary about interactions between me and my roommate, but would I ever show this video to her? Hell no.… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:31 AM on January 11, 2012
Dear Hiring Manager
See, this just wasn't my experience of working in [second world country where I met a lot of international types]. I met a lot of assholes, yes, and honestly I wasn't the most awesome person myself since I was pretty young and very insecure. And there's definitely this white-person privilege where people who are too lazy/inexperienced/incompetent to succeed in the developed world get jobs they don't deserve because they're white.
And yet.… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:10 AM on January 11, 2012
(And I add that this wasn't some kind of "teenage anarchist breaks window, goes to jail" support project, either.)
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:12 AM on January 11, 2012
Is this seriously an indicator of low income? Not asking to snark, but it would be very much the exception in London to own a car.
For a group of twelve to fifteen working, childless adults in a mid-sized American city, yes, it's unusual for there to be not even oldish cheapish car. I have a standing arrangement with a friend where I give her dinner once a month and she drives me to buy cat food and anything heavy/remote that I need. Right now, I'd… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:20 AM on January 11, 2012
(The piece of small furniture being very ordinary and costing about $30)
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:21 AM on January 11, 2012
Although - vis a vis cars - we have some privilege in that we don't work in the remote exurbs or third shift when the buses don't run. The people who get screwed are people a couple of notches down. If you're doing under-the-table contractor work, for example, you pretty much have to have a car because the boss expects you to haul ass out to Remoteville by 6am to get started, and you're not compensate for mileage, either, and car insurance costs double in red-lined neighborhoods.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:24 AM on January 11, 2012
Outside Magazine on Livestrong - Valid criticism or concern trolling?
Slick media and a shiny new office cost money. Money that comes from donors.
Actually, labor (wages and benefits) is often the biggest cost - and rightly so. I work in a grant-related job and there's this perception that paying researchers and support staff reasonable amounts ($30,000- $60,000/year plus benefits, depending on their expertise) is somehow this huge giant waste of money that gets in the way of the research. While Lance Armstrong sounds… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 3:47 PM on January 9, 2012
I spent many years working for a federal grant program reviewing hundreds of applications per year and 50% indirect is quite average for a major US university. I have never seen one less than 40% on a research proposal I don't think.
Most non profits that don't have a federally negotiated indirect rate charge 10-20%.
But your math, it is confused! Using 50% on overhead would mean getting $100,000 of which $50,000 goes to… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 5:34 PM on January 9, 2012
I spent many years working for a federal grant program reviewing hundreds of applications per year and 50% indirect is quite average for a major US university.
Also, that would be a cool job. I would love to work for NIH or similar (not that I could actually review grants since I have no science background). Sadly, they have a pretty bad rep for how they treat their lower-level staff.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 5:37 PM on January 9, 2012
fshgrl, what Frowner is pointing out is that numbers like 65% are misleading to people who don't have experience with grants, because they indicate a percentage of the direct costs, not of the total.
Precisely! I think you and I are both saying the same thing (that 20% overhead is reasonable and that university IDC rates are ~50% for federal funders) but we're explaining the figures differently.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:05 AM on January 10, 2012
What I have heard is that LA punk and French punk were in their respective ways much more about dancing and drugs than about politics (The Beautiful Fall has some stuff on Paris 70s punk.)
But as far there ever having been a pure moment for punk...nope, nope, nope. A lot of the original political punks came from posh backgrounds - or relatively posh, anyway - like the Clash and Mark Stewart and so on; plus um um… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 10:24 AM on January 9, 2012
didnt a lot of 'punk' people go on to be libertarian/right-wing
Vic Godard did, IIRC. And there was some band or other who made a big deal about voting for Thatcher - was that Joy Division?
The trajectory is this: people who want to climb will climb using the means available, and if those means are left/progressive/radical/avante garde, that's what they'll use; if it's fashionable to be right wing, they'll be right wing. It… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 10:29 AM on January 9, 2012
Time has not been kind, madam.
Making fun of someone's looks because you don't like their actions - especially behind their backs, especially as fodder for an act for which you are paid, especially when you are famous and she is a rando, especially straight men doing it about straight women - is so massively dickish and entitled that, honestly, I don't care if he's the second coming of Lenny Bruce, I can't listen to the dude. And the part in his response where he's all… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 11:49 AM on January 7, 2012
You just don’t know you know them...
And yes, if you're poly, how do you explain your relationship to the mainstream world? I can't imagine trying to explain it to my mother, for instance, and even for people who have no issues with non-straight sexuality and probably wouldn't freak out about something non-heteronormative, it would make me feel a bit uncomfortable or hesitant to put across.
This is what I think about, because I'm really not up for FWB-like arrangements. I would want to… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:52 AM on January 6, 2012
Yes. Even here. Especially with gay relationship questions. I've seen my own and others' gay relationship questions be greeted with "How about an open relationship?" when it should be clear from the question that is not something the asker is up for.
The thing I notice on the internets (and in my life, too) is that we people-who-aren't-gay-men-but-aren't-big-old-homophobes-either have a lot of bad information about gay men.… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 9:01 AM on January 6, 2012
The thing about GGG is that it does not take existing social structures into account. That's why IM-anecdote-not-data-E I've run into a number of young women who feel pressured to do stuff they really don't want to do and cite "GGG" as why. Also why there's some research about, er, "hook-up culture" that suggests (can't google for it at work) that straight people hook-ups basically focus on the dude's sexual gratification and contain minimal female… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 10:13 AM on January 6, 2012
Also, the idea that being repulsed by women's genitals should require you to seek therapy is silly. Sometimes things are just gross. If Savage wanted to have sex with women and also thought their bits were bad, then he might need to talk to someone. But he doesn't.
But he feels obliged to reiterate his disgust - and it is disgust - in an extremely public and fairly influential forum, and he tends to frame… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 10:37 AM on January 6, 2012
I suspect he plays it up for comic effect, trusting that his readers will be able to separate the humorous anti-female-body sections of his column from the helpful pro-female-body sections of his column. But yes, he often suffers from what Scalzi calls the "failure mode of clever", which in his case may more often be the "failure mode of drunkenness and lax editing".
I'm just really reminded of Gay Man Fail incidents like some of… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:10 PM on January 6, 2012
"This is a totem we erected to protect us from Courtney Love."
I don't mind talking it up a little bit, so if people want to click through to my profile and look that's okay.
Your old city? All the fashionable punks and radicals from here moved there circa 2000. Then they moved to your current city starting in about 2007. Official hipster punk rock opinion is that your city is played out, man.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 11:06 AM on January 6, 2012