Activity from Frowner
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Bae of Pigs
From a systems standpoint, I think that one reason folks are so gleeful over this is that the political system has ceased to be representative in any meaningful sense. There's no way to take someone down over his actual, criminal, violent social policy, so when the opportunity comes to take him down for being a pig-fucker, everyone loves the idea. (It's not that in a better democracy scandal would go unremarked, but this type of sexual scandal has become so much more powerful and pervasive in… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 6:56 AM on September 21, 2015
Or, there's a long tradition of claiming the elite are doing weird and grotesque things in order to build up outrage against them. And it works, because people want to believe that when elites do something they object to, it's not just a case of power politics, it's because of a moral failing. "If we got our own guy in," the story goes, "He'd do what we want, because he's not a sexual deviant." I mean seriously, this has been doing on since Roman tones, if not… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:33 AM on September 21, 2015
And I mean, I think "ha ha consider Cameron's dangly bits and a pig" is a bad thing, not because of Cameron but because it's testimony to how broken the actual political process is.
I suppose it's not yet as bad as the US, where we actually glorify the disgusting and unscrupulous actions of people like Donald Trump.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:35 AM on September 21, 2015
Why Do We Admire Mobsters?
I think people also admire mobsters because they're imagined to be very rich, because it's possible to enjoy retro evil that would not be okay in the real world (rape doesn't seem quite so bad when it's mobsters in retro clothes, for instance) and at the same time because they're seen as a variant on social bandits.
I surmise that if there's anything unique to American mob-worship, it has to do with our general distrust of the state. The article gets… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 6:18 AM on September 21, 2015
Professor Refuses To Wear Device To Help Hearing-Impaired Student
Also, the letter I linked to above gets slightly more into the details of the religious objection, specifically that the objections were "based not on a universal precept of a particular tradition but on her personal spirituality and commitments." Trying to apply a religious test of whether her religious commitment is "Hindu enough" is not going to be an especially fruitful exercise.
What is the difference between "personal… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:11 AM on September 18, 2015
As I think about this, it starts to seem to me that public discourse is unclear about why we have religious accommodations, and thus I think we end up with straw people, etc. I think that the idea of religious accommodations also leans on the idea that almost everyone is religious, and that almost all religions align relatively closely with majority values. (So there's a tension produced when atheists have beliefs, or when someone's religious beliefs are… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 11:06 AM on September 18, 2015
I mean, if you follow this line of thinking all the way, you'll end up advocating that every athlete in the Olympics should get a gold medal, regardless of how they performed. If one group gets gold medals, anyone else should be able to enjoy a gold medal.
No, I don't think that's where this is going. I think the issue is whether or not one believes that religion is a special kind of thing different from any other kind of philosophy, or if religion is… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:16 PM on September 18, 2015
"Spiritual health", in short, is assumed to have a social status that "ethical health" doesn't.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:18 PM on September 18, 2015
And halal options are better now than they were twenty years ago in north america, but they're still not great. Vegetarians on the other hand almost always have an entree available to them (I eat side dishes when going to steak houses).
You totally mistake me!
I support religious accommodations and I'm vegan at the same time, and I certainly want everyone to have meals they can eat. I just think that there's some… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 6:30 PM on September 18, 2015
And just to clarify - my point wasn't that because people tend to tell vegans to just deal with non-vegan food options therefore people who keep kosher or halal should also just deal. I was trying - obviously badly - both to understand the distinction that is drawn in popular discourse between religious beliefs and serious secular beliefs and to suggest that serious secular beliefs are more like religious beliefs than not. "More… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 6:37 PM on September 18, 2015
How an 18th-Century Philosopher Helped Solve My Midlife Crisis
The first 2/3 of this were super interesting, until the ads repeatedly froze my browser. I think it's time to invest in ad-block, since I have no objection to paying for things with some very diluted attention but I draw the line this this type of thing.
The whole "and I reinvented myself with excitement" bit grows a bit tiresome, of course, when you remember that everyone involved in this story is extraordinarily financially privileged. No matter how clever… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:06 PM on September 18, 2015
This place is 100% free of bees.
Also I am lying when I cut my hair - really my hair is very very long but I have altered my body to make my hair short! Likewise when I trim my nails and brush my teeth - my real state is foul-breathed and curly-nailed. And women who get fluoride tooth treatment as children? Also lying liars who lie. And when I wear a hat - oh, don't get me started on the lying lies of hat-wearing. Also today I belted my pants below my natural waist.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:41 PM on September 15, 2015
With the cat/pasties comic, while the first part is funny, it's the combination of the pasty routine with the pasties-as-hovercraft exit that render it genius. Also the cat's expression.
On the make-up front: when I was younger and wore make-up, foundation was not fashionable for young women, and eye make-up was secondary to a really dark lip (yes, the nineties! I had this great Shiseido blood-purple that they don't make anymore). So I have… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 6:49 AM on September 16, 2015
Yeah, I have definitely been fooled into thinking not as many people have mild rosacea that I regularly cover up with foundation. It's TERRIBLE.
At the same time, it ends up being a bit exciting when you realize that other people have the same issue that you do (or the same size eyes...) and it's just the make-up, etc. I too have mild rosacea and, again, always assumed that I was alone in my roseaceaness because so many women wear… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:52 AM on September 16, 2015
Actually, I think that the wig question would depend on how common it was to wear a wig for people in my general dating pool - and this relates to the make-up situation too. If we lived in a world where almost no-one wore make-up, and I showed up wearing skillfully applied, natural-looking makeup that none the less substantially altered my appearance, people might justly feel a bit deceived (although presumably if I showed up with green eyelids and glitter lipstick, they should have figured it… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 6:01 AM on September 18, 2015
(What I meant to say about make-up: it's extra ridiculous to say that make-up is "deceptive" because....wait for it....lots of women wear make-up. You know going in that most women with any kind of feminine gender presentation are going to wear make-up at least once in a while. Being surprised that a woman is wearing make-up (as opposed to realizing that a woman is wearing make-up; that's not the same as surprise) is like being surprised that...… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 6:07 AM on September 18, 2015
'Girl' clothes are for girls. 'Boy' clothes are for everyone.
I don't agree with that at all though. Boy clothes aren't for everyone. They are often boxy, not form fitting, and made for people who are built like cisgender boys.
Well, they're made with the assumption that you don't want to wear form-fitting clothes. I don't want to wear form-fitting clothes and never have, over a life of varying gender identity and gender presentation, and as a result have worn a lot of "men's" clothes.… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:37 AM on September 15, 2015
"Boy clothes" are more practical than "girl clothes". Witness the time when my kid was running around in a too-long skirt, tripped over it, and got a knock on the head so bad the teachers were worried about a concussion.
But 'girl clothes' are much more diverse than that - the most adroit girl-clothes dresser of my acquaintance was, last night, wearing skinny pants, a sort of rayon crepe vintage secretary blouse and a cardigan,… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:57 AM on September 15, 2015
On another note - you can have voluminous "impractical" boy clothes, too - not common in the contemporary West, but hakama would suck on a bike, running in a really formal djelleba would be a bad idea, etc. (Come to that, running in a tiny wool suit isn't that easy either, but if we're talking about volume....)
"Practical [for movement]" and "impractical [for movement]" is related to… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 9:04 AM on September 15, 2015
On this practicality bit, though - when I was a lot younger, I wore vintage dresses and platform heels every day, except when I wore skirts and tops. (It was fun as costume, but had a lot to do with my feeling a need to perform something I was not....those were some fantastic dresses, though, from back in the nineties before the price of vintage went up.)
I walked to work two miles each way every day year round, except for the same… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 9:14 AM on September 15, 2015
Obviously, in our culture skirts and dresses are "girl" clothes. Many skirts and dresses, depending on cut and fabric, might not be suitable for vigorous activity.
I contend, though, that "girl" clothes are "girl" clothes not because they are skirts/dresses but because of how they are designed to fit the body, the colors and the ornament. "Girl" clothes are almost always designed to fit tightly, to show the body (unless society… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 10:13 AM on September 15, 2015
One weird side effect about masculine clothing being the default is that there's nothing I (a trans guy) can wear to definitively make a statement about how I'm trying to be read
Indeed, with the irritating consequence, too, that anything that isn't ultra generic masculine feminizes you. Admittedly, feminizes you into greater safety, which is not what happens with trans women, but still less than ideal. There are a whole host of things that I'd like… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 11:22 AM on September 15, 2015
In fact, I spent part of the summer attempting to incorporate more androgynous/feminine items of clothing into an overall masculine presentation, and all that happened was that people were much nicer to me, because I was no longer a gender freak/trans person/queer but instead a cis straight lady, as testified to by the fact that I was wearing a boxy but crew-necked woven silk shirt.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 11:24 AM on September 15, 2015
femininity can have a respected place at the table and femininity can be reclaimed and turned into something that does not have feel like crap to an overwhelming number of women
How? By completely redefining it? As it currently exists, "femininity" is the method of delivery for the lifelong lesson that girls and women are weak and contemptible.
I feel like a problem in this conversation is that we're not clear on what… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 9:03 AM on September 17, 2015
Manfried the Man
A Progressive Defense of Respectability Politics
In terms of racial reconciliation and the white majority:
Whites aren't identical. It's possible to split off sympathetic or at least tolerant whites from other whites. That's how you build a coalition - you don't say "only if I can get over with the most conservative of my opponents can I succeed", you build your coalition with people who are sympathetic. No one needs to win over all the white people, just a large enough percentage to win in coalition with… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 3:23 PM on September 15, 2015
While I think it's dangerous to draw parallels between Black and gay experience - given all that "gay is the new Black" nonsense - we certainly saw a lot of respectability politics during the AIDS epidemic, with only victims who looked attractive and either were heterosexual or could be portrayed as Tragic Gays being acceptable in public discourse. This absolutely shaped people's access to care, employability, safety on the street, etc. Also, the face of the acceptable AIDS victim was… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 6:18 AM on September 16, 2015
I have never turned heads
I guess in a way I would find it liberating to think that people can have sexual relationships that are based on odd permutations of desire, but this piece made me really sad. I feel like she thinks she's ugly and worries about it a lot, and that's really different from "I think I'm attractive, you don't but you want to have sex with me anyway, go team!"
Also, what the fuck is wrong in bohemia these days? I feel like… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 11:30 AM on September 15, 2015
I understand the impetus to determine how pretty she really, objectively is in comparison to him in hopes of determining how valuable her insights are for other people. But I can't understand why a bunch of people think their opinions of her relationship, based on one article and a few pictures, is more valid than her own.
I mean, up to a point - but her whole article is about how she's just not good-looking, unlike her marble wildebeast of a husband,… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:11 PM on September 15, 2015
‘Are they that desperate if they have a smartphone?’
If you are poor, you're probably working weird hours, contract gigs, etc. You have to have a smartphone to get those jobs. If you don't have a smartphone, it is much, much harder to get to work.
Plus, why should poor people be unable to access news alerts, weather, etc? An unemployed person gets just as wet in a thunderstorm as a working person, and wants to hide from a tornado just as much, and if anything has particular interest in local political… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 6:10 AM on September 15, 2015
Why Americans dress so casually
So in these conversations, someone (like me) always says "I don't care about fashion, and don't wish to involve myself in it", and someone else always proclaims "actually, in not caring about fashion, you reveal that you care about fashion just as much as the rest of us", and then settles back to watch the light bulbs turn on in my brain as I process their cleverness.
Yes, precisely! (I mean, I'm a total clotheshorse… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:14 AM on September 14, 2015
I think there's a difference between "I don't care about fashion and therefore do the minimum to be employable/acceptable and wish I didn't have to" (which of course will differ depending on your job and amount of social privilege you have) and "I never think about fashion because I never have to", which is all about privilege most of the time.
There are lots of women - known to me personally! - who don't care about fashion and wish they didn't have… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 7:58 AM on September 14, 2015
My mother, for example, truly didn't care about fashion - she wore baggy rayon crepe skirts and blouses in inoffensive colors plus some flats from the eighties for work her entire career, replacing things only when they fell apart (and you'd be surprised how resilient certain rayon crepes are) and for casual wear, she had a couple of pairs of my old acid-washed jeans from the late eighties, plus some pull on pants and some old logo tee shirts that I'd left behind when I left for college, and… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:10 AM on September 14, 2015
If I were studying the history of dancing, I would absolutely be interested in why people go to dancing venues and don't dance. Is it because it plays a major role in dating and courtship rituals? Is it for professional reasons? Perhaps there is a religious component?
Yeah, but you wouldn't try to tell them that they had really been dancing all along.
There's quite a lot in… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 8:18 AM on September 14, 2015
Well, maybe, but to me, being that well "put together" suggests a waste of time to me when you could be doing other things. So you really are just communicating your priorities.
Sort of - but what if my priority is "choose neat shoes instead of playing Candy Crush" or "collect scarves instead of living in a house where I have to do a lot of yard work"? Folks often assume that caring about clothes comes at the expense of,… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 10:25 AM on September 14, 2015
This is why more people don't follow their dreams:
Do they live a life of idle wealth, though? Assumes facts not in evidence.
Although even if they are trust fund babies, wouldn't you much rather that they spend their trust fund doing something that amuses the masses in town and on these our interwebs? They could be doing so, so many more obnoxious things, ranging from the actively politically poisonous to the merely toxic and snobbish.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 9:38 AM on September 9, 2015
It's weird that I don't find this obnoxious. I don't even, as a trans person, find the trans comparison particularly bad - she's not saying that society should aid her in "transitioning" or that she should be a protected class or anything, she's just using a metaphor in a rather lightweight way. I think it's a silly idea and twee phrasing, but it's just...not that bad?
I wouldn't want to wear all those clothes, though.… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 9:41 AM on September 9, 2015
On the one hand, that piece about how awfully, awfully she's treated by other people seems overwritten to me, and she does the whole "if I were wearing a hijab, you wouldn't think it was okay if people grabbed me" bit, where actually of course if you are wearing hijab, lots of people think it's okay to grab at you and worse.
Her husband works at a bike shop, appropriately enough. It would be quite… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 9:53 AM on September 9, 2015
why would he wear the uniform at home surely it would be a button down with some twill slacks and a house shoe
Surely also a cardigan?
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 10:42 AM on September 9, 2015
I surmise that these people probably don't have a clear fix on "Victorian values", since most people don't. (There were a whole heck of a lot of different values during that long period - Ibsen, George Bernard Shaw, Harriet Tubman, Magnus Hirschfeld, Oscar Wilde, Lucy Parsons and Karl Marx were all, chronologically speaking, Victorians. Hell, John Brown was a Victorian.)
Obviously, they aren't cosplaying Oscar Wilde.… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 10:49 AM on September 9, 2015
Like, if we're just talking about England (which most people tend to in this conversation) the Victorian era was a time of tremendous contention over values, and a time during which a set of mainstream ideas about change, progress and time were developed and promulgated. There was just so much going on.
I think you could say, plausibly, that the Victorian era was a time of optimism - for me, optimism about the possibility of socialism in particular.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 10:56 AM on September 9, 2015
Houses built before air conditioning were designed to stay cool in the summer through cross-breezes, retaining the cool of the night
On another note - I live in a house built in 1912 (don't worry, the walls are quite literally crumbling in many places, everything has twenty years of ingrained filth due to the aging and illness of the previous owners, and I despair of ever being able to afford to repair anything that I can't do with my own two hands)....… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 11:20 AM on September 9, 2015
Houses are money pits though and if you don't spend money keeping them maintained, they will all eventually go to shit.
Can I just recommend Wally's Plaster Magic? If you have an old house with plaster walls, it will fairly easily fix places where the plaster is just softened and pulled away from the lathe. Then you only have to patch the really bad spots, and you can usually do that with multiple layers of joint compound rather than the nightmare of… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 11:25 AM on September 9, 2015
Ask someone in the Belgian Congo.
But then ask the Arawak.
My point wasn't that the Victorian era wasn't so bad, but that the first establishment of the European slave trade and the extermination of many Native peoples in the Americas were just as terrible as anything the Victorians could devise.
And then, rolling forward, you get the Armenian Genocide, Stalin, the Holocaust, the Cultural Revolution,… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 11:50 AM on September 9, 2015
I feel weird saying this, but while King Leopold's rule was terrible, so was the the torture and murder of native people for sport - if you look for some of the contemporary engravings, they'll turn your stomach, and what went on in, e.g. New Zealand later wasn't much better. So was the capture of slaves, so were the slave plantations in the Caribbean. On a smaller scale, the murder of "heretics" in late medieval and Renaissance Europe was exceedingly cruel and… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 12:18 PM on September 9, 2015
So why does modernity get singled out?
For me - and I fully acknowledge that this is one of those hairsplitting arguments - I think that modernity gets singled out because of scope of harm, technology and pervasive ideology about race and nation. Basically, once you start getting into serious, sustained exploration and colonization and once you have really heavy armor and then guns, plus a whole bunch of other shipping and metalworking technology, you… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:05 PM on September 9, 2015
Gabriel's grandmother was snarked off because just EVERYONE was buying Persian rugs and it seemed terrible common and gauche, so she took a jaunt over to CHINA and bought herself a CHINESE rug, which was already antique at the time, so she wouldn't be like the rest of the rabble
Would that have been the fifties? My grandfather - who was a garment buyer and had connections - bought several really nice Iranian rugs from buddies some time when he and my… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:12 PM on September 9, 2015
Well, they claim old New England blue-blood families and talk about the grandmothers as if they are society matrons
Oh, I think I was unclear - I was assuming that people like my relatives were the gauche "everybody" who was buying the persian rugs, not that the grandmother wasn't very fancy.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 1:49 PM on September 9, 2015
I'd down for anyone who wants to do a week long Lovecraft recreation, stiff collors! Round glasses! Being horrified of outsiders! Masking our sublimated homosexuality into an obsession with it's the past!
And, er, speaking of racism, I think it's pretty difficult to cosplay good ol' HP without a heaping helping.
Although I could accept a revisionist "Shadow Over Innsmouth" wherein everyone is like… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 2:08 PM on September 9, 2015
And then I realized, Maybe I can buy my way out of this one.
I think that I'm bothered by the way the article seems to assume that the family is a good metaphor for the state, and that "fairness" in one functions as a good metaphor for "fairness" in the other. This is usually a kind of conservative move.
posted to MetaFilter by Frowner at 9:59 AM on September 9, 2015