Activity from Frowner

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You're right. I'm really prone to exaggeration and hyperbole. I think I am highly likely doing that here and just writing all of this to get sympathy and incite the kind of responses I'm getting here. I'm sure that he was being totally reasonable… [more]
favorited 27 times, recently by smoke, wonton endangerment, everydayanewday, cost-cutting measures, Deathalicious, guster4lovers, mothershock, Logic Sheep, The Great Big Mulp, whistle pig, oflinkey, lokta, Kpele, Lexica, TryTheTilapia, runincircles, thetarium, myelin sheath, milk white peacock, aparrish, forza, honey-barbara, shelleycat, peachfuzz, Stacey, hejrat, timory
Ask MeFi comment - 5 minutes ago

The other piece here is that knowing that doctors talk shit about you makes the medical experience scarier and more frustrating. That alone is a reason to crack down, because it's making going to the doctor worse for people (and probably a… [more]
favorited 6 times, recently by virago, Solon and Thanks, EXISTENZ IS PAUSED, ursus_comiter, Etrigan, sciatrix
MeFi comment - 16 minutes ago

Her story, weirdly, reminded me of Doris Lessing's novel Mara and Dann and of Margaret Atwood's novel The Year of the Flood, where things go so bad so protractedly that the sentences don't even make sense together. "All my… [more]
favorited 21 times, recently by jeudi, dorothyisunderwood, stevedawg, arha, sotonohito, tabubilgirl, current resident, matildaben, en forme de poire, halifix, sio42, twist my arm, languagehat, beefetish, j_curiouser, Catseye, Tchad, suedehead, purpleclover, Sangermaine, Gin and Broadband
MeFi comment - 20 minutes ago

It's so interesting that the whole premise of the article is this kind of thing: The juvenile justice system was founded on the idea that young people are capable of change, and so society has a responsibility to help them overcome early… [more]
favorited 10 times, recently by biggreenplant, brennen, Rosie M. Banks, agregoli, beefetish, en forme de poire, sandettie light vessel automatic, Death and Gravity, transitional procedures, roomthreeseventeen
MeFi comment - 25 minutes ago

Someone could be very good for/to you with one problem - the first bout of serious depression - while not being good for/to you for other problems. Maybe this is a guy who can have compassion when someone is in an extreme state but who is really… [more]
favorited 17 times, recently by virago, guster4lovers, mothershock, whistle pig, palomar, Kpele, foodmapper, sciatrix, jaguar, Rosie M. Banks, timory, purpleclover, runincircles, lokta, mmiddle, Rock Steady, hush
Ask MeFi comment - Almost an hour ago

What I'd do is ask this question to someone in your real life. I personally doubt that you're delusional to the point where you're radically distorting what happened (not just misinterpreting or being a little manipulative as human beings virtually… [more]
favorited 6 times, recently by cost-cutting measures, lokta, thereemix, en forme de poire, timory, saveyoursanity
Ask MeFi comment - An hour ago

The main thing I notice is that the color range is both broader and more subtle than what was available in the nineties. It seems like most of the nineties colors are still available (and the thing with that faded green is that it was… [more]
favorited 1 time, recently by daisyk
MeFi comment - Almost 5 hours ago

If this were me - as avoidant as I am, and only giving this advice because you're at the 'what do I do tomorrow' stage - I would go in, pretend it was a normal visit, say what I needed to say and then do a ghost/slow fade and avoid his calls if any… [more]
favorited 6 times, recently by lokta, en forme de poire, witchen, sciatrix, jbenben, SeedStitch
Ask MeFi comment - 6 ¼ hours ago

We do this for taxes, for estimating college tuition/financial aid, etc. We constantly, in multiple areas of life, assume that people are the responsibility of the family in which they exist. If the lower earning spouse wants many kinds of… [more]
favorited 15 times, recently by zombieflanders, Narrative Priorities, chicainthecity, jenfullmoon, hydropsyche, Lexica, insoluble uncertainty, Katjusa Roquette, OnceUponATime, DingoMutt, stoneweaver, mittens
MeFi comment - 7 hours ago

I'm confused and I'm feeling a little paranoid by the therapists here asking about my motivations in posting this question. Is there something I've done wrong? What motivations could I have? I'm really concerned about this skepticism. I promise I… [more]
favorited 3 times, recently by en forme de poire, sciatrix, timory
Ask MeFi comment - 8 hours ago

What I kept wondering was "what precisely was so off about this guy"? It seemed like this particular anaesthesiologist had some homophobia issues, per the rest of the article. I would be at least a little more sanguine about the… [more]
favorited 16 times, recently by Solon and Thanks, Anhedonic Donkey, virago, Neely O'Hara, haltingproblemsolved, everydayanewday, nanook, mokin, Lexica, MT, melissasaurus, transitional procedures, subdee, Morrigan, i feel possessed, EXISTENZ IS PAUSED
MeFi comment - 12 hours ago

I do like the I/E metaphor in terms of expressing the whole "how do you know you're trans/where does your gender identity come from" thing, though, and I think I'm going to add it to my rhetorical toolbox. It really illustrates how you… [more]
favorited 5 times, recently by Lexica
MeFi comment - 23 hours ago

I guess, when I think about it, I think about it as a desire that is deeply rooted in both my body and cultural stuff, and it's a positive desire - a desire to be something. It's not the same as the desire not to be treated as… [more]
favorited 9 times, recently by Lexica
MeFi comment - Yesterday

For me, this has always been hard to understand, since I guess I just don't have a very strong gender identity. I'm a cis woman and I'm comfortable with that, even though I've never been a very "feminine" person, in the stereotypical… [more]
favorited 8 times, recently by Lexica
MeFi comment - Yesterday

In a sense, I find it easier to compare gender to a vocation. Like, I would be deeply, deeply unhappy if I were not allowed to read [or do something analogous to reading - if I lost my sight, I could still access text-ish kinds of things either via… [more]
favorited 7 times, recently by Lexica
MeFi comment - Yesterday

What's very interesting is that the TERFS I know deny that "gender" is anything but an artifact of patriarchy, but act as though gender is a hard biological fact. They really do not act as though they are genderless meat creatures… [more]
favorited 20 times, recently by Lexica
MeFi comment - Yesterday

A link to "fat shaming 101" links won't work if no one is willing to learn from them I don't think that's true - because you're assuming that the point is for people to learn that fat-shaming is stupid, ignorant and unacceptable,… [more]
favorited 9 times, recently by virago, brina, Tehhund, hydropsyche, Pink Frost
MetaTalk comment - Yesterday

Yeah, I've actually slowly drifted away from some activist stuff because it's all on facebook and I'm not willing to be. This year I almost didn't even get to the queer/trans march because not only was it on facebook but the public page was indexed… [more]
favorited 19 times, recently by emptythought, thegreatfleecircus, guybrush_threepwood, polychora, Lexica, everydayanewday, bitterpants, joedan
MeFi comment - Yesterday

Actually one of my more on-trend friends dyed his hair in this way recently. It's always so depressing to read the responses to something like this, where half the comments are "that's ugly!" or "what fashion victims", with a… [more]
favorited 12 times, recently by no mind, The corpse in the library, Solomon, lonefrontranger, erratic meatsack, ashirys, Mondegreen, Monochrome, hydrobatidae, Drexen, sciatrix, pseudonymph
MeFi comment - Yesterday

Basically, the point is that some people's problems are so serious that they can't be solved at the individual/household level, no matter how hard people work. Those problems need to be solved at a society-wide level. It doesn't matter - in… [more]
favorited 36 times, recently by velvet winter, Matt Oneiros, PMdixon, thegreatfleecircus, JBD, Joseph Gurl, apartment dweller, chicainthecity, jenfullmoon, Space Kitty, Neely O'Hara, saucysault, jokeefe, virago, hydropsyche, Lexica, Hypatia, Ashen, yesster, insoluble uncertainty, Katjusa Roquette
MeFi comment - Yesterday

It only makes sense that once one's financial situation improves, that should be considered in evaluating whether one continues to receive government benefits. This would make sense if and only if marriage were very likely to make the… [more]
favorited 8 times, recently by thegreatfleecircus, hydropsyche, Ashen, Katjusa Roquette
MeFi comment - Yesterday

I am worried about someone whose guilty pleasure is grapes, unless they have a specific grape-excluding medical condition. I can totally buy that someone feels guilty when they have grapes because Grapes-Fruit-Sugar-Bad and I think that's… [more]
favorited 10 times, recently by Katjusa Roquette, Proofs and Refutations, litereally, sarahw, Fig, bakerina, en forme de poire
MeFi comment - Yesterday

Does anyone have any recommendations for further reading? Preferably from an informed left standpoint? The trouble with all of this stuff is that we have not one but two, two evil empires crouching toad-like on the world, so a piece like… [more]
favorited 16 times, recently by Meatbomb, sneebler, peacheater, dejah420, PROD_TPSL, FireballForever, Handstand Devil, daelin, lalochezia, Serf, justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow
MeFi comment - Yesterday

From that article linked by roomthreeseventeen: And even before they wind up in custody, the ICE agency consistently discriminates against LGBT individuals during detention decisions. A Center for American Progress Freedom of Information Act… [more]
favorited 15 times, recently by IAmBroom
MeFi comment - 2 days ago

Which explains why the films made them fat, right? Bigoted, indeed. Oh, most of them are fat in the books, too - Rowling is clearly working the Diana Wynne Jones tradition of "being fat is the outward sign of being a bad person unless… [more]
favorited 38 times, recently by cosmic owl
MeFi comment - 2 days ago

Another thing - this article spends so much time on nuclear war, but it seems like a land war would be bad enough, and I am not enough of an expert to understand whether this is mostly scare-mongering or not. It might be that even Putin wouldn't… [more]
favorited 1 time
MeFi comment - 2 days ago

Why would dying like this be worse for me than some other way to die? If I didn't want people around in my day to day life while I was alive, how does the fact of death change it? I like the idea of dying alone, because I like being alone… [more]
favorited 9 times
MeFi comment - 2 days ago

Having read the first article, I would like to know what the social risk factors for opiate addiction are - almost everyone in the story seems to come from a pretty messed up (and mostly poverty-stricken) situation. That's not to say that no… [more]
favorited 57 times
MeFi comment - 2 days ago

Minnesota liberalism was, I think, always pretty much skin deep. What finally tore away the facade? I think it was 9/11, more than racism. (Minnesota has been racist for a very long time; many Minneapolitans once proudly considered the city to be… [more]
favorited 14 times
MeFi comment - 2 days ago

"Do you really mean that I can take my time on this project, or do you really mean that you need it right now?" I thought that clarifying this was pretty standard office behavior - at least, I frequently see work advice columns… [more]
favorited 4 times
MeFi comment - 2 days ago

Minnesotans couldn't imagine moving away from family/support networks to live somewhere new. See, I actually moved to Minnesota and stayed - voluntarily! - and the "Minnesota" that gets described in these articles is never… [more]
favorited 11 times
MeFi comment - 3 days ago

"My wife is not attractive". That's cold. Holy crap, that's cold. If I found out that my partner flatly referred to me as "not attractive", I'd....well, it would be the start of the end of it all. Honestly, if I were you,… [more]
favorited 55 times
Ask MeFi comment - 3 days ago

I found it creepy, but I also think that there's a lot of creepiness and no satisfactory resolution about this issue. I have a relative who defaults to mumbling "I want to die, I want to die" when they have a bad day....they're dwindling… [more]
favorited 27 times
MeFi comment - 3 days ago

Actually, I like poking holes in the Potterverse because that lets the fanfic in. Back when I was young and full of spleen, I wrote a big fic about how most people couldn't afford Hogwarts and how working class wizards got it in the neck and how… [more]
favorited 41 times
MeFi comment - 3 days ago

And there's the fact that we are an ageist society. Gee, I wonder why someone might be kind of demanding and needy when they receive nothing but social messages that they're a waste of space, no longer interesting or attractive and… [more]
favorited 15 times
MeFi comment - 3 days ago

If a rigorously protected ability to appeal grades to the chair, the dean, the dean of students, and the board of trustees, if you wish, forcing your professor to justify and thoroughly document your grade isn't enough due process for you, I… [more]
favorited 15 times
MeFi comment - 3 days ago

At the same time, "I am a liberal [older person] but these kids today are too radical and it's ruining everything" is a pretty bog-standard narrative and I can think of examples going back to the thirties. "Liberal, but too much",… [more]
favorited 63 times
MeFi comment - 3 days ago

We're living the dream every day compared to our ancestors. I think it depends on which ancestors. My peasant farmer ancestors tilling the rocky hills of Scane, or my other peasant farmer ancestors trying to avoid getting conscripted into… [more]
favorited 2 times
MeFi comment - 3 days ago

First world problems, boo fucking hoo. Growing up in South America, working my way through college, shit jobs like sweeping up mouse shit in the warehouse of an abusive fashion designer, driving a grease truck parked on campus all night long (that… [more]
favorited 28 times
MeFi comment - 3 days ago

So there is so much great food in the world, and I`m completely ignorant to most of it, why do we need this stunt food? It's kinda profoundly dull in a world where Ethiopian and Cambodian and Polish food exists, no? Because this is… [more]
favorited 22 times
MeFi comment - 3 days ago

Citing examples of people who have benefited or might benefit from euthanasia doesn't mean that euthanasia can't sometimes be improperly applied. Yes, precisely, just as citing examples of people who might be forced to kill themselves… [more]
favorited 11 times
MeFi comment - 3 days ago

I think it's at least possible that assisted suicide is an expression of ableism, and that troubles me quite a bit. I just want to put a little pressure on this idea. It may be true as far as many conditions go, but I know from my own… [more]
favorited 9 times
MeFi comment - 3 days ago

I totally love all this "the Boomers, so selfish, golden ladder" etc stuff...first of all, it's the white Boomers, right? Not a lot of golden ladders if you're black. White Boomers from well-off families who didn't have to go to… [more]
favorited 8 times
MeFi comment - 3 days ago

Yeah, I've been in plenty of organizations where the trouble comes from the flaky kids who just want to party and decide at the last minute not to show up, come in hungover, etc etc. In my current situation, one of the two most reliable people is in… [more]
favorited 23 times
MeFi comment - 4 days ago

I'm certainly looking forward to when my generation is old and some of us are stubborn, grumpy or in the very early grip of dementia. "Those Gen-X-ers are so entitled - they're spoiled by receiving their government ration of tube food!… [more]
favorited 36 times
MeFi comment - 4 days ago

Given enough advance notice, I would attend a mefi fair meetup. [more]
favorited 3 times
MeFi comment - 4 days ago

The cowboy clowns just can't get past their own belief that they, in any of these terrifying situations, would have the presence of mind and ability to react if they were faced with this sort of violence Because naturally, a society where… [more]
favorited 10 times
MeFi comment - 4 days ago

The fair! The fair! Let me tell you, there would have been no poutine, no sweet potato tacos, no hand pies and no butter chicken samosas at the fair back in 1996 when I first attended. At this point, you can go to the fair and get relatively… [more]
favorited 5 times
MeFi comment - 4 days ago

I have a friend with a recent and difficult divorce under her belt. I assume that things vary by state, but also that there are some generalities likely to be true. Note - you DO need a lawyer, and you need a SHARK. You don't know how your… [more]
favorited 42 times
Ask MeFi comment - 4 days ago

A book aimed at children that falls back on simplistic, unfair tropes that communicate character flaws through the characters' physical appearance? A children's book you say? Have you read any other children's books? I mean,… [more]
favorited 16 times
MeFi comment - 5 days ago

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