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(To clarify my anecdote: the study area was in a location where no one could have seen who was making noise if they were making noise, so the noise complaint itself could not have been motivated by race, and we knew there wasn't any noise; also the... [more]
favorited 2 times, recently by marsha56, Jacqueline
MeFi comment - 42 minutes ago

At some point in the aftermath, did a reporter ever go back to the clerk who called the cops and ask him why he was being a racist jagoff? It's a minor footnote, but all (justified) cop-blaming here is letting someone else off the hook. I... [more]
favorited 12 times, recently by marsha56, etaoin, padraigin, eviemath, Neely O'Hara, amanda, dogrose, Jacqueline, dejah420, anansi, Jumpin Jack Flash, squinty
MeFi comment - 43 minutes ago

I think "Fred" isn't the question here. Can you take things slow with Fred? How do you know him? If you really like him - well enough that you'd date him even absent James - could you see him casually for a while? The issue is that... [more]
favorited 9 times, recently by miorita, katieanne, virago, thereemix, Craig, holborne, Wolfster, 3fluffies, pantarei70
Ask MeFi comment - 50 minutes ago

And one last thought that I meant to include in my previous comment, and then I'll knock it off - there's something really perverse in the "men are so gross" narrative, because it teaches men that women should have to have sex with... [more]
favorited 6 times, recently by Proofs and Refutations, soundguy99, marimeko, Lexica, jaguar, flex
MeFi comment - 2 ¾ hours ago

And it's worth considering that in the US, at least, straight dudes are not expected to be the objects of desire. The straight male body is very often framed as disgusting, something that women put up with - the official narrative that... [more]
favorited 8 times, recently by Proofs and Refutations, soundguy99, marimeko, Lexica, Kutsuwamushi, LizBoBiz, mustard seeds, jaguar
MeFi comment - 2 ¾ hours ago

IIRC, Freudians were very big on female narcissism, right? Of course, there's a very simple explanation for female sexual "narcissism" - if you grow up being taught that being desired is the measure of your worth, and you... [more]
favorited 11 times, recently by Proofs and Refutations, soundguy99, XMLicious, marimeko, Lexica, mustard seeds, sevenofspades, flex, winna, nooneyouknow, jaguar
MeFi comment - 2 ¾ hours ago

Until about six months later when I was on my way to work and opened the front door to find my yard full of police, some squatted down behind shrubs, some at the edge of the house, and it turned out there were a bunch of them in the back yard and... [more]
favorited 1 time, recently by littlesq
MeFi comment - Almost 4 hours ago

A red clip meant “leave me alone.” A green clip, and you’d soon be making friends. This is so brilliant. I wish I could wear such kind of clips for everyday interactions. The whole "old fans versus new" thing really... [more]
favorited 22 times, recently by latkes, evilDoug, Narrative Priorities, KingEdRa, maryrussell, MT, JHarris, northtwilight, Potomac Avenue, grobstein, scdjpowell, LucretiusJones, squinty, jgaiser, ArmyOfKittens, eisbaer, languagehat, GenjiandProust, bleep, Space Coyote, tychotesla, dng
MeFi comment - 4 ¼ hours ago

In Ferguson, young demonstrators are finding it’s not their grandparents’ protest: "“We were trained when we marched. We were taught if they spit on you, just wipe it off and continue marching. But we are dealing with a new breed of youngster.... [more]
favorited 42 times, recently by Purposeful Grimace
MeFi comment - 4 ¼ hours ago

I don't think so. If he'd been wearing an immaculate suit and perfectly groomed, they'd have behaved just the same. Just ask the legions of well-dressed black men who have gotten the same treatment. Oh, I'm not saying that the cops only... [more]
favorited 4 times, recently by goethean, Jacqueline, aryma, sweetkid
MeFi comment - 8 hours ago

Rarely do I pass up an opportunity to stick my nose into the cops' business. If I see a police officer violating some minor law (something that would get a normal person in trouble, like blowing through a stop sign or turning right on red in a no... [more]
favorited 3 times, recently by Jacqueline, aryma, haltingproblemsolved
MeFi comment - 8 hours ago

I recently learned that someone I respected a lot as a an anti-prison-pipeline activist had declined to make a statement about Cece MacDonald when the support committee (here in MPLS) had asked her to. I was really disappointed. At the same time,... [more]
favorited 12 times, recently by palomar, Pizzarina Sbarro, Selena777, nebulawindphone, ClaudiaCenter, en forme de poire, beefetish
MeFi comment - 15 hours ago

I was thinking about how I've been "objectified" all my life - even though I have never been sexually attractive to very many men, and now am basically sexually invisible as a butch person of indeterminate gender. But the reason I say that... [more]
favorited 36 times, recently by mustard seeds, revi, Rosie M. Banks, Kingsk, Anhedonic Donkey, Kimberly, palmcorder_yajna, col_pogo, Salamander, mothershock, Proofs and Refutations, Lexica, viggorlijah, virago, Iris Gambol, Uniformitarianism Now!, everydayanewday, flex, Torosaurus, ambrosia, susiswimmer, heurtebise, geek anachronism, gingerest, eviemath, alphanerd, winna, tinwhiskers, mikeh, sevenofspades, sukeban, clockzero, Michele in California, divined by radio, threeants, xarnop
MeFi comment - 17 hours ago

Particularly hilarious Soviet cartoon about movie making
favorited 7 times, recently by oceanjesse, catch as catch can, Wolof, severiina, amapolaroja, Sangermaine, Frowner
MetaTalk post - 18 hours ago

Also, the no-failiest thing I've ever made (that wasn't candy - would you be interested in candy recipes?) is these Cooks Illustrated raspberry bars. I make them vegan by subbing in any kind of vegan butter, and I double the quantities of jam and... [more]
favorited 2 times, recently by rachaelfaith
Ask MeFi comment - More than 18 hours ago

What I was really thinking was "what is objectification", and it occurred to me that "objectifying" is usually framed as "using something as an object of desire" and that's where the confusion comes in, because it's... [more]
favorited 4 times, recently by Rosie M. Banks, col_pogo, sevenofspades, Michele in California
MeFi comment - More than 18 hours ago

Maybe the heterosexual dynamics are different. But in my experience with men, it's more than possible to stare at one's partner and be blown away by how beautiful they are without said action being dehumanizing or leading to sexual coercion. I... [more]
favorited 10 times, recently by Anhedonic Donkey, col_pogo, Salamander, Lexica, Uniformitarianism Now!, alphanerd, eviemath, xarnop, clockzero, threeants
MeFi comment - More than 18 hours ago

I have lived in Chicago and Minneapolis. Things I miss about Chicago: good Italian, good Greek, good French, good Polish; broad choice of independent bookstores; multiple neighborhoods that basically do the same thing but different (ie, there... [more]
favorited 8 times, recently by Wolfster
Ask MeFi comment - 2 days ago

(In the commercial porn that I have seen - which I'd say is a reasonable and representative sample circa maybe five years ago, plus another reasonable and representative sample when I was in my late teens/early twenties - I'd say that my take-away... [more]
favorited 11 times, recently by Bella Donna, bile and syntax, nooneyouknow, General Tonic, amanda
MeFi comment - 2 days ago

I was part of a volunteer project whose website got a couple of these emails years and years ago. I didn't manage the website, so I only heard about this in meetings. But the group pretty much looked at the emails, decided that they were a bullshit... [more]
favorited 4 times, recently by GoLikeHellMachine, Rosie M. Banks, wwax, aimedwander
Ask MeFi comment - 2 days ago

(The thing is, if your relationship is such that "if you loved me you would have sex with me right now regardless of what you want or how you feel" is primary way of getting sex, you have a bad relationship. There are all kinds of ways to... [more]
favorited 5 times, recently by everydayanewday, sukeban, jaguar, ifjuly, Kpele
MeFi comment - 2 days ago

I mean, I think there's all kinds of stuff to parse out here: 1. Fad - we're having kind of a nineties moment, and it's the nineties moment of that Calvin Klein gender-neutral perfume and bowl haircuts, plus "androgyny" becomes... [more]
favorited 16 times, recently by Monochrome
MeFi comment - 2 days ago

Oh my god, that poor little girl in the Connecticut case. I bet there are a hundred queer youth organizations who would work with her to organize housing, therapy and education if she could just be gotten out of state custody. I mean hell, she can... [more]
favorited 4 times, recently by brina, Joe in Australia, dejah420, beefetish
MeFi comment - 2 days ago

On a not-fertility matter: I find that when I have big life events coming up - whatever they are! even positive ones, like a trip! - I experience heightened and persistent anxiety about stuff. If there is something big and obvious to worry about, I... [more]
favorited 7 times, recently by shadowy_world
Ask MeFi comment - 2 days ago

I think that if you're mostly talking about being around Evergreen, there's a lot more latitude about how you dress in any case. I'm also not entirely comfortable with the "no one must wear anything that reveals [body part] because it might... [more]
favorited 12 times, recently by thegreatfleecircus, bookish, virago, Sara C., chaosys, viggorlijah, Uniformitarianism Now!, Solomon, The corpse in the library, mskyle, muddgirl, rainbowbrite
Ask MeFi comment - 2 days ago

Dude, yes you can wear a skirt. I think there's an argument about capitalism which might run like "as cis men become more and more able to wear/use previously 'female' items such as skirts and make-up, they take on all the... [more]
favorited 46 times, recently by Ryon, oh really, librarina, Lexica, chaosys, The Almighty Mommy Goddess, gembackwards, yohko, Pwoink, daisyk, beefetish
Ask MeFi comment - 2 days ago

So far, I feel like we're talking like "kids" is "boys". (And of course, the linked piece is about a son.) I surmise that it's going to be a lot more likely that girls will be looking at really standard, male-centric... [more]
favorited 56 times, recently by ghharr, vasi, Shouraku, keep it under cover, littlecatfeet
MeFi comment - 2 days ago

It's funny - I thought this piece was pretty good, and frankly, not to put too fine a point on it, I'm a queer person who came out late and had a lot of problems identifying what I wanted. I could easily see myself having drifted into an... [more]
favorited 58 times, recently by SailRos
MeFi comment - 2 days ago

But the thing about CeCe McDonald is that it is possible to say "here is a nice college girl who was in the process of triumphing over adversity when she got jumped by a bunch of white trash racist nazi-sympathizers", and even the TERFs and... [more]
favorited 2 times, recently by hoyland, beefetish
MeFi comment - 2 days ago

(And one more quick comment - when I was a mere slip of a queer person, I found femme bisexual women really irritating and blamed it on their femme bisexuality when what I should have been objecting to was the culture which valued femme women and... [more]
favorited 5 times, recently by Corinth
Ask MeFi comment - 3 days ago

Would you have a good idea, then, about how to refer to the small handful of loose cannon protestors who pull that kind of loose-cannon shit? Because on the one hand I absolutely don't want to contribute to a protest-tone-argument thing, but on... [more]
favorited 17 times, recently by Purposeful Grimace
MeFi comment - 3 days ago

Also, it occurs to me that "there are three hundred people including the elderly and children being held at gunpoint in a mass arrest scenario with very little water in the heat AND it is going to take two days to get everyone processed and... [more]
favorited 4 times, recently by Meep! Eek!
MeFi comment - 3 days ago

I thought about this a lot more on my way to work and decided to make another comment. 1. Before you do anything think very carefully about what you want the outcome to be versus what's likely to happen. At best, you're going to shame the... [more]
favorited 20 times, recently by fingersandtoes
Ask MeFi comment - 3 days ago

That film with the police marching with guns drawn - frankly that scares the hell out of me. I just...that is just so non-standard for police repression in this country in the last twenty years. The rest of it is an intensification of stuff... [more]
favorited 55 times
MeFi comment - 3 days ago

There's a public health aspect to this - the more cramped the seating, the more difficult it is for passengers to move enough to prevent blood clots, which are a risk of sitting or lying in a very cramped position for extended periods. To me, this... [more]
favorited 2 times
MeFi comment - 3 days ago

(Just as a side-note: even the conversations I've heard about "is drag appropriative" have been about [mostly] white gay cis men appropriating specific fashions and language either from trans women or from black gay men or black trans... [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - 3 days ago

I would never in all my life have expected Lena Dunham to write an essay that...hm, had some remote and melancholy parts that seemed not from the age of... [more]
favorited 12 times
MeFi comment - 4 days ago

You'll be ready to be friends, perversely enough, when you don't find yourself strongly wanting to communicate with him on a regular basis. You'll think of him and have pleasant but not especially strong feelings. You'll think... [more]
favorited 4 times
Ask MeFi comment - 4 days ago

This....does not sound like a great idea. You sound like you don't especially want to be friends with him, for one thing. You also sound like you're lonely enough that you might possibly get pulled into something with this guy out of inertia.... [more]
favorited 9 times
Ask MeFi comment - 4 days ago

I suspect that a clean break will be easier for you. There is a small chance, I think, that if you do a slow fade with E, he will respect that and be sad but not a jerk, but IMO, when someone has been dropping a lot of hints, writing stories,... [more]
favorited 22 times
Ask MeFi comment - 4 days ago

But all these world heritage sites - it wouldn't mean anything if the global economy wasn't changing. If the economy itself wasn't becoming more and more dependent on financialization, more and more unequal and more and more... [more]
favorited 8 times
MeFi comment - 4 days ago

Er, I mean, we read that fiction from 9th grade to graduation. The characters were un-self-aware all their lives. [more]
favorited 2 times
MeFi comment - 4 days ago

It is so depressing that probably the biggest reason that Obama can't say too much about Ferguson is that he's black. This is just what I mean about damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don't framing on protests. We actually live in a country where we... [more]
favorited 23 times
MeFi comment - 4 days ago

The anti-WTO protests and subsequent were also key parts of the militarization of the cops, as was the end of the Cold War - not as much market abroad, time to manufacture products to sell at home. "Hippie protests" and... [more]
favorited 50 times
MeFi comment - 4 days ago

What other community spaces are there locally? Do you reach out to them? If this were me, I'd be dropping in for the collective meeting/operating meeting/some kind of large routine event at your local [related organizations] - niche bookstores,... [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - 5 days ago

Okay, I've been thinking about this - they were firing live ammo last night, but at what? Why? There's nothing documented about anyone shooting at them, despite various rumors, and certainly no sign that there was any significant gunfire... [more]
favorited 9 times
MeFi comment - 5 days ago

It still seems strange to me, because I have zero interest in the first thing and think of the second one (caring for each other) as the basis of any relationship, but maybe I already have non-traditional relationships. Oh god the emotional... [more]
favorited 157 times
MeFi comment - 5 days ago

During the G20 in Toronto, a very, very few people smashing windows and setting a cop car on fire provoked an enormous police overreaction and how many people arrested, again? Without charges? No, "was used as a pretext for". And... [more]
favorited 30 times
MeFi comment - 5 days ago

An unmarked black van, with a bunch of burly 30 to 40 somethings wearing and putting on Black Bloc gear. This is from way, way upthread, but if you see something like this, those people are not anarchists, they are not Black Bloc,... [more]
favorited 70 times
MeFi comment - 5 days ago

They are. They are building a highly armed force to protect them and giving that force the freedom of action to suppress the poor. This is really important. I think it's easy to fall into a sort of Hunger-Games mentality, like... [more]
favorited 70 times
MeFi comment - 5 days ago

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