Activity from Frowner

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Wear whatever you like, but know that I will be judging you according to idiosyncratic preferences derived from childhood experience, random ideas picked up from books, my own deep fears about fitting in/being different and some fuzzy, largely… [more]
favorited 43 times, recently by sauril, Solomon, flex, joeyjoejoejr, mosessis, mistersquid, Mayor West, Kutsuwamushi, Horselover Fat, savetheclocktower, beefetish, JustKeepSwimming, thivaia, Potomac Avenue, Rock Steady, instamatic, you must supply a verb, everydayanewday, ClarissaWAM, davidjmcgee, krinklyfig, theraflu, ocherdraco, shmurley, ferdydurke, easter queen, Kitty Stardust, Dysk, LindsayIrene, you could feel the sky, flaterik, CarolynG, Idler King, thereemix, polecat, Kitteh, hydrobatidae, turntraitor, en forme de poire, odinsdream, Foosnark, the sobsister, vanar sena
MeFi comment - 1 minute ago

Are you the kind of person who tends to self-sabotage? For some people, "this person is available and a great choice" tends to produce disinterest while "this person isn't really available and isn't really a good choice" produces… [more]
favorited 8 times, recently by languagehat, dawkins_7, dovesandstones, virago, PMdixon, Sa Dec, Punctual, J. Wilson
Ask MeFi comment - An hour ago

I feel like when people say "could Naziism happen here" they are usually asking two different questions - The first one is a moral question - ie, could something of comparable moral horror happen in the US? Which, obviously, it… [more]
favorited 5 times, recently by Joe in Australia, bitterpants, asterix, lodurr, klangklangston
MeFi comment - 7 hours ago

Hooves and paws are filthy messes too, much of the time. Ahem, my cat has beautiful paws, thank you. [more]
favorited 14 times, recently by Solomon, thivaia, Rock Steady, biggreenplant, clone boulevard, Kitty Stardust, Jon Mitchell, joseph conrad is fully awesome, mollweide, Kitteh, komara, Metroid Baby, en forme de poire, the phlegmatic king
MeFi comment - 20 hours ago

The driving force with this article isn't as much that she's a historian (notice how dodgily she employs historical example, even if her other work is better) but that she's writing for Jacobin and clearly swings marxist in some way. The key… [more]
favorited 20 times, recently by enn, rainydayfilms, virago, Jubal Kessler, en forme de poire, Susan PG, Ragini, thsmchnekllsfascists, teponaztli, officer_fred, etaoin, bitterpants, frumiousb, smoke, Rosie M. Banks, Hactar, jon1270, the Real Dan, daveliepmann, busted_crayons
MeFi comment - 21 hours ago

Wolverine 1000 mile boots are made in the US (I believe by Allen Edmonds, actually) and come in women's sizes. Wolverine is doing this very fucking dodgy thing where only some of the 1000-mile boots and shoes are US-made, so unless they specify that… [more]
favorited 4 times, recently by aka burlap
MeFi comment - 23 hours ago

"Have you ever heard of books about imaginary stories? They're a little bit like TV shows like Mad Men or Stargate Atlantis - things that never happened!" [Checks for understanding, does not attempt to see if listener has any… [more]
favorited 4 times, recently by tinkletown, you must supply a verb, zookeeper, sciatrix
MeFi comment - Yesterday

My mom has no rock; my parents consider popular music vulgar. My mom likes Edith Piaf. This guy's mom is no fool, though, vide her comment about "what do black dads think of as 'dad rock'", which kind of exposes the class and race angle… [more]
favorited 20 times, recently by arcticwoman
MeFi comment - Yesterday

I think this article is, overall, somewhat overblown, particularly the pull quote. "I am worth less than a shoe"? No, if you damage a customer's property, you pay for it. Just like if you damage a stranger's property, they can take you… [more]
favorited 168 times, recently by Salamandrous
MeFi comment - Yesterday

I personally like staying at hotels, because I like the idea that at least some of my money goes to sustain working class jobs in the community; I like the idea that workers at hotels have some ability to unionize and I choose union hotels when I… [more]
favorited 30 times, recently by Salamandrous
MeFi comment - 2 days ago

Also, don't be the cool girl here - I wasted a lot of my youth being all "oh, yes, you can say mean worm's-eye-view things about me because after all they are true" and looking back it just ate away at me and reinforced my own bad feelings… [more]
favorited 106 times, recently by Keysig, whatideserve
Ask MeFi comment - 2 days ago

Some people think Sandra Bernhard is beautiful, for starters. Most of the "Sandra Bernhard, despite being thin and having a conventionally attractive body, good skin, good hair and a wide, full-lipped mouth is actually ugly" business… [more]
favorited 11 times, recently by whistle pig, imabanana, mer2113, daikaisho, blue suede stockings, mollymillions, virago, kitcat, BrotherCaine, mondo dentro, biggreenplant
MeFi comment - 2 days ago

WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT, Frowner lives in FLYOVER country? I just assumed San Francisco. Yes, I live in a place known to all as "a cold Omaha". I don't want to blow up my spot or anything, but the rents are low, it's pretty liberal… [more]
favorited 5 times, recently by beefetish, mer2113, heurtebise, hydropsyche, bitter-girl.com
MeFi comment - 2 days ago

Also, your uncle - if he is a good person - has probably spent a lot of time thinking about and suffering over this accident and trying to deal with being the survivor. I don't think it's especially appropriate for you to assume that somehow he… [more]
favorited 7 times, recently by anaelith, DingoMutt, bakerina, virago, General Tonic, i feel possessed
Ask MeFi comment - 2 days ago

Your self-concept sounds to be a bit "fanfic hero" - the silence! the pain! the loneliness! the pursuit of excellence! but sad excellence! And that's all very well for fanfic - I quite enjoy fanfic now and then - but it isn't what people… [more]
favorited 53 times, recently by annekate, stillwater, fireandthud
Ask MeFi comment - 2 days ago

As a non-Jewish person who has read Eichmann In Jerusalem (but who might not be familiar with any anti-Semitic undertones that would have been obvious when it was written) I did not find the widely criticized passages on the Jewish… [more]
favorited 10 times, recently by Obscure Reference, Redgrendel2001, languagehat, mittens, Potomac Avenue, frumiousb, smoke, drezdn, hush, the phlegmatic king
MeFi comment - 2 days ago

I think you should check out all the "mature" lines, because most of them have outlier pieces - I have a modest amount of Eileen Fisher, for example, because their fall/winter lines tend to have a few interesting, shaped pieces in… [more]
favorited 6 times, recently by Yoko Ono's Advice Column, masquesoporfavor, jgirl, Lemmy Caution, tilde, easter queen
Ask MeFi comment - 3 days ago

Okay, Whelk, the only celebrity I even vaguely resemble is a fat James McAvoy. (I have an irrational fondness for James McAvoy for this reason, despite being virtually entirely unfamiliar with his work.) Now the question is, is this a transitive… [more]
favorited 1 time, recently by padraigin
MeFi comment - 3 days ago

You know, I find it much easier to take now that it seems like this is just coming from one neurotic. I do understand the stress and madness of being de facto house parent, and one could easily see a sort of stubborn youngish person believing… [more]
favorited 1 time, recently by almostmanda
MeFi comment - 3 days ago

Every time you think of the guy, short-circuit the thought and tell yourself "nothing is ever going to happen with him, ever; he is not interested". Often, folks get stuck where you're stuck because they do not want to accept that nothing… [more]
favorited 14 times, recently by lunastellasol, shadowy_world
Ask MeFi comment - 3 days ago

I always wonder why people do that stuff. Part of me feels sorry for the grad student, even though I understand that he made those choices every step of the way - it's not like one little decision among many was bad. It also makes me… [more]
favorited 6 times, recently by Scram, col_pogo, Blue Jello Elf, You Can't Tip a Buick
MeFi comment - 3 days ago

I guess what also strikes me is how deep victim-blaming runs and how deep guilt and shame must run, since it's obvious that for a lot of people, even talking about those Jewish leaders who made bad or self-serving decisions is pretty much the… [more]
favorited 1 time, recently by Termite
MeFi comment - 3 days ago

I have a friend who left a deeply screwed-up, emotionally manipulative marriage. Her partner also promised that he would do "whatever it took" to change when she said that she was thinking about leaving. He was also an intelligent person… [more]
favorited 7 times, recently by blueberry, bakerina, argonauta, languagehat, DingoMutt, fiercecupcake, Gelatin
Ask MeFi comment - 4 days ago

Why do you need to know this? Consider: you probably know ten or fifteen people who did something bad/scary/wrong/traumatic in their twenties. Some of them probably did really awful things, like sexually assault someone. You already know… [more]
favorited 20 times, recently by Lexica, spinturtle, andraste, DingoMutt, treehorn+bunny, yohko, blueberry, Scram, datarose, shesbenevolent, Naamah, Punctual, salvia, travertina, General Tonic
Ask MeFi comment - 4 days ago

Honestly, this makes me think that like so many tiny cute things up to and including cats they are not actually cute, just tiny. Seriously, look at their beaky jaws! and scaly feet! And imagine them trampling Tokyo. Not so cute now, huh?… [more]
favorited 1 time, recently by kira
MeFi comment - 4 days ago

But there are some clear and lasting differences in generations. The American WWII generation assumed power when the war ended, and basically ran the country until Clinton. It was their show for 50 years. But who is "they"?… [more]
favorited 8 times, recently by armadillo1224
MeFi comment - 4 days ago

My mother's parents fit it precisely, with the exception that they claim to vote Democrat so I'll always have certain aspects of healthcare. I don't argue with them because I'm living on stock dividends they gave me. I mean, my point isn't… [more]
favorited 10 times, recently by armadillo1224, Mondegreen
MeFi comment - 4 days ago

This is so nice! Since I’m a ‘Gen-X’er born in 1977, the conventional wisdom is that I’m supposed to be adaptable, independent, productive, and to have a good work/life balance. This is not what they were saying about us in the… [more]
favorited 35 times, recently by armadillo1224, airing nerdy laundry, The Outsider, mrgrimm, thegreatfleecircus
MeFi comment - 4 days ago

Something occurs to me - when I was coming up in the nineties, Arendt was the Unacceptable Frankfurt Scholar because she was too centrist. Now it seems like she is the Unacceptable Frankfurt Scholar for entirely other reasons...I suppose it really… [more]
favorited 3 times, recently by frumiousb, Dreidl, hush
MeFi comment - 4 days ago

I used to be like this and now am mostly not. I have irrational health worries sometimes, but they are much closer to "normal" minor worries that I can dismiss. Here are some things: 1. NEVER read the internet about health things… [more]
favorited 9 times, recently by guster4lovers, brina, en forme de poire, drjimmy11, redfoxtail, holborne, Iris Gambol, Rosie M. Banks, nanook
Ask MeFi comment - 4 days ago

I was at a guy's house once and he started quizzing me about world capitals. It would be funny if it weren't so loaded at the time. Really? Really? Why on earth would you need to know a random assortment of world capitals?… [more]
favorited 26 times, recently by FJT
Ask MeFi comment - 4 days ago

Pay attention to how much respect and attention you accord to women who don't fall into your "real person/fuckable" category - pay attention to how you treat elderly women, for instance, or women of a different subcultural demographic, or… [more]
favorited 58 times, recently by FJT
Ask MeFi comment - 4 days ago

I am also interested in the trigger warning as a cultural pattern, though, both in the ways that it oversimplifies and fetishizes consent and the ways that it figures the individual as always-ill. Like, it's totally okay to… [more]
favorited 155 times, recently by spinifex23
MeFi comment - 5 days ago

I thought this was a very good piece, essentially religious in its outlook. An optimistic vision of Norway that I would prefer to be true. What he writes about the "harmlessness" of Norway is pretty much my social vision, that… [more]
favorited 4 times, recently by skycrashesdown, General Tonic, Drexen
MeFi comment - 5 days ago

Some books that I think are formative and likely to appeal to many children: Jane Langton's Hall Family books, especially The Swing In The Summerhouse, The Diamond In The Window and - most particularly! It made me who I am today! -… [more]
favorited 1 time, recently by ostro
Ask MeFi comment - 5 days ago

I bet the reason Stars In My Pocket was not mentioned is that it's a really difficult book to get into and you don't get to the gender stuff until you've gotten through Rat Korga's story. In my experience, people who read relatively serious… [more]
favorited 8 times
MeFi comment - 6 days ago

I began to feel hurt and to have real doubts about whether we were a good match. I said this to him. He then said it was very important to him to have me in his life, I am special, he likes the reflective conversations we have, but I was blowing… [more]
favorited 53 times
Ask MeFi comment - 6 days ago

A friend started exercising and dropped close to a hundred pounds with no dietary changes. I started exercising and...dropped zero weight, slightly reconfigured my shape, gained a lot of strength, etc. I think it's worth considering the whole… [more]
favorited 9 times
MeFi comment - 6 days ago

I wonder if he's read Orwell's smaller work - the As I Please columns and so on. I actually like those a lot better - and return to them much more often - than his bigger work and certainly his novels and most of the "big" essays. For… [more]
favorited 35 times
MeFi comment - 6 days ago

A side note: lots of people have break-up sex, which is what you describe with the boots/chips/cider situation. You may not have thought of it as break-up sex, but it's pretty normal, things are charged, you're still partly attached to… [more]
favorited 29 times
Ask MeFi comment - 6 days ago

It's the constant hunt for a moment, a single moment of sin where you reveal those deeply suppressed thoughts that meant you were really a No Good Oppressor Like The Rest Of Them All Along and everyone can be outraged along with you at the fallen… [more]
favorited 17 times
MeFi comment - 7 days ago

Yeah, I remember that time that I lived with two girls who wore a lot of make-up. One of them also wore vintage dresses every day and the other one dressed in hard femme rocker get-up. I couldn't face the pressure that their appearances placed on me… [more]
favorited 31 times
MeFi comment - 7 days ago

You know, it makes sense that their albums have para-religious themes, because they're obviously a peasant religious movement, and you could place them in line with the medieval heretics or the followers of Thomas Muntzer, by which I mean a (not… [more]
favorited 36 times
MeFi comment - 7 days ago

You know, now that I think about it, it might be useful to consider why one gets visibly checked out (as opposed to discreetly). I've had very, very few experiences with this, which I used to read as meaning that I was ugly, and I used to feel… [more]
favorited 10 times
Ask MeFi comment - 7 days ago

Being visibly "checked out" does not always mean what you think it means, either - I've noticed that since I cut my hair and started dressing in a dapper, sort of effeminate-butch manner I've started to get lots of checking-out-like… [more]
favorited 9 times
Ask MeFi comment - 7 days ago

I just want to pop back in to say that I don't really worry about 'being attractive' any more. Partly because I'm older and 'being attractive' in your late thirties is different than in your twenties, partly because I'm a fat butch… [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - 7 days ago

You should read some queer femme tumblrs! I am a butch queer person of indeterminate gender who isn't really attracted to femme women and reading a lot of those totally changed my feelings about bodies and femme presentation. Sadly, I… [more]
favorited 28 times
Ask MeFi comment - 7 days ago

Along with the race hatred, there’s another obvious feature of this intro: the way it dramatizes Orwell himself, a sensitive young white man alone in a crowd of evil aliens. That habit of dramatizing himself never changes. It’s a constant in… [more]
favorited 47 times
MeFi comment - 7 days ago

Also: If you look for a therapist, I would suggest one who specializes in gender stuff and is explicitly queer-friendly. I think - as you seem to suggest in your comments - that probably a lot of your personal painful stuff is tied up in some kind… [more]
favorited 5 times
Ask MeFi comment - 8 days ago

I feel like putting Harriet Tubman on the $20 would do the same thing to her story that has been done to MLK's - turn her into someone to namecheck when you don't want to look racist and eviscerate the complicated and radical nature of her actions… [more]
favorited 7 times
MeFi comment - 8 days ago

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