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All that "click" means is that there is something in your personalities that...effervesces, that reacts strongly together, that you meet each others' needs in some strong way. I've definitely had situations where the... [more]
favorited 9 times
Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

There are a couple of things that seem to turn up in answers to this type of question that bug me a little - 1. How much work should a relationship be? Honestly, I know a bunch of non-readers with whom, if we were the only queer/genderqueer... [more]
favorited 44 times
Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

About two years ago, J Crew - fucking J Crew! - ran an add with a butch woman in it. She wasn't on the front, and it was all "look at those among our marketing staff who happen to to be young, slim and conventionally good-looking...but there... [more]
favorited 13 times
MeFi comment - 3 months ago

I beg forgiveness in advance if the question is offensive, but do you mean in a physical sense, or the way you perceive yourself coming across to others on the aggressive-passive scale? 'Cause I've never met you, but I've been reading you for a... [more]
favorited 7 times
MeFi comment - 3 months ago

The thing is, much criticism of Beyonce doesn't seem to come from great familiarity with her work or with womanism, or from feminists of color. It mostly seems to come from white women who have given her videos a cursory inspection, and it seems to... [more]
favorited 18 times
MeFi comment - 3 months ago

It was really looking at the nineties list that convinced me that there's a woman problem with these - I counted ten albums out of 100 where I was sure there was a woman involved in the band and only two which seemed really to center women. I'm sure... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 months ago

seriously? I've got it. Had it since ... the 1980s. Always felt more gimmick than anything. Sandinista yt is at least nine times as relevant. Arthur Russell is amazing and hugely underrated. I was so thrilled when they re-released... [more]
favorited 4 times
MeFi comment - 3 months ago

Or maybe it's just that what the Clash is doing on Sandinista - or what the Mekons are doing with So Good It Hurts, etc - has been so completely absorbed that it seems "easy", kind of like we all always-already have encountered... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 months ago

Our cat used not to drink much water. I started putting containers of water around the house in the hopes that she'd drink from them and discovered that her favorite kind is the basic mid-sized transparent plastic takeout container tub - she really... [more]
favorited 6 times
MeFi comment - 3 months ago

George Orwell actually had a "let's have a socialist Britain after the war" proposal which involved being able to sign up for meal drop-off and have someone else pick up the dirty dishes after, with both cooking and dish washing to... [more]
favorited 19 times
MeFi comment - 3 months ago

I went through a crisis of rage at my parents in my late twenties/early thirties - it was exhausting and stressful to see them a couple of times a year, I felt constantly angry and I just gutted out the phone conversations. When I talked about them... [more]
favorited 13 times
Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

She also chases our pitbull puppy around the house. She is maybe 8 pounds and he must be almost 30 by now and she's roughly the size of his head, and he is terrified of her. Like "won't walk down the stairs if she's lying on them" scared.... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 months ago

I...er...I would love to hold a jam-tasting party, as long as I didn't have to make the jam. That's not actually a bad idea, in fact, since virtually all my friends can eat jam - I could make some various vegan and gluten-free things to have... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 months ago

I would never in all my life have expected Lena Dunham to write an essay that...hm, had some remote and melancholy parts that seemed not from the age of... [more]
favorited 17 times
MeFi comment - 3 months ago

Oh, dude, you need to read Shirley Jackson's Life Among The Savages. Unlike the rest of her writing, it's very gentle and funny. You might also enjoy the non-humor but domestic, sometimes comic and personal mid-century writing of MFK... [more]
favorited 4 times
Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago


Don't let her push you out into some disastrous situation. Looking at your past questions, it seems like you have had some really rough stuff happen recently. If the stress of dealing with your emergencies did in fact push her back into a PTSD... [more]
favorited 9 times
Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

But running around with a big megaphone saying "Aaaaauagh!! The world is unfair!! This is an emergency!!" is not sustainable (or effective). I know that it's not doing me any favors personally to be keeping score with people around me,... [more]
favorited 55 times
Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

She's the one with the gross Evelyn-Evelyn fake conjoined twins thing, right? And the vaguly "sex workers are gross and risible" song titles? And the snarking on fat people via Twitter? I mean, I've never heard a good thing about her... [more]
favorited 81 times
MeFi comment - 3 months ago

It's extremely unlikely that this will work. When I was still in my twenties, guys occasionally asked me out at random and my thoughts were always these: - At best, I don't know anything about this guy and it will be awkward to extricate myself... [more]
favorited 34 times
Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

partly because my pronounced queerness meant I was generally off the hook I never really thought about it until now, but....the reason no one has ever asked me when I'm going to have kids is because I am exceedingly visibly queer, and get... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 months ago

But that's across the board. Science fiction is massively popular in certain areas, like video games. And most all the highest-grossing film franchises are science fictional in some way, if not outright science fiction, so it's not like people are... [more]
favorited 11 times
MeFi comment - 3 months ago

...aaaand I anticipated precisely this kind of reaction, which is why I qualified the statement as carefully as possible But you didn't qualify it as carefully as possible. You phrased it in a relatively patronizing way - the phrase... [more]
favorited 17 times
MeFi comment - 3 months ago

"Don't feed the troll" is a tried and true internet adage. It works. There are trolls, they want attention, they want people to disagree with them. It's been proven time and time again that if you don't engage with them, they go away.... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 months ago

I want to see this so bad. I wish stuff like this got released in the Midwest - we have, you know, the gays here too. Interesting though not unexpected that the politics gets downplayed. That's something I've noticed in almost all semi-popular... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 months ago

Is there a comprehensive online resource for DTWOF strips, or will I need to buy actual made-from-paper-usually-stored-on-a-bookshelf books? The comic as it exists today is semi-comprehensive - I think all the actual sequential strips are... [more]
favorited 18 times
MeFi comment - 3 months ago

Perhaps someone in this thread will know the answer to this: About seven or eight years ago, I read an essay by a gay historian in which he theorized that Conan Doyle actually wrote Holmes with a lot of textual cues that readers were... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 months ago

This would be pretty cool in a sort of 1960s science fiction utopia setting - think of it, a future earth dotted with arcologies, interesting farming initiatives and artists, hermits and vacationers in their little dumpster houses. It is... [more]
favorited 18 times
MeFi comment - 3 months ago

Things that occur to me : First, why not visit the doctor for a complete blood panel, etc? Ask about any impact that your current thinness might have on your health. It should be possible to establish, roughly, whether your current weight is... [more]
favorited 9 times
Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

When I worked in China and friends taught me home-style cooking, we'd always use MSG. I've often wondered why, if MSG is in fact such a dietary trigger, we don't see tons and tons of MSG syndrome in Asia. I find all this cook tough-talk... [more]
favorited 13 times
MeFi comment - 3 months ago

Would you have a good idea, then, about how to refer to the small handful of loose cannon protestors who pull that kind of loose-cannon shit? Because on the one hand I absolutely don't want to contribute to a protest-tone-argument thing, but on... [more]
favorited 18 times
MeFi comment - 3 months ago

I suspect that people are going to say that no one is ever "completely honest". How could we be? We're a constant mess of various thoughts and impulses, most of which have to be canalized so that we can function as a coherent self in the... [more]
favorited 33 times
Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

I don't like it when someone asks me leading/pedagogical questions. If I ask "where's the THING?" and you respond like it's your job to help me deduce where the thing is, it feels very patronizing. If I ask you for information and... [more]
favorited 166 times
Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

I think I liked Are You My Mother? best because it doesn't have nearly as coherent a narrative, and it doesn't wrap itself around family the way that Fun Home does. They're both fantastic, amazing books that absolutely expand what... [more]
favorited 11 times
MeFi comment - 3 months ago

This is a dynamic that you need to break, or it can recur over and over again. (You- clingy; them - frustrated and maybe rude; you - sad and dramatic; them - withholding; you - angry) At any point in this dynamic, whether it's when you feel... [more]
favorited 24 times
Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

What this says to me is that a well-intentioned organization has to have their ducks in a row before there's a call for a policy to be put into effect. I could easily see my younger, more naive self become very focused on "how can we... [more]
favorited 33 times
MeFi comment - 4 months ago

This is a great post! It reminds me of a hilarious misinterpretation that some friends and I made when we were working in Shanghai and none of us had much mandarin. We all arrived via Hongqiao airport, of course, and one of us (armed with a... [more]
favorited 11 times
MeFi comment - 4 months ago

You know what? I bet that coat is a woman's coat and the props department switched the buttons in some clever manner. You should troll around on ebay for vintage fur-collared women's coats - I used to have a seventies-ish one not unlike that.... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 4 months ago

I like a big meal at the end of the day. I've found that (when my life isn't augh off the rails like it is right now) I manage this well by two strategies: 1. The "get home and have dinner instantly" strategy, in which my dinner... [more]
favorited 4 times
Ask MeFi comment - 4 months ago

Also, I find that if I eat a super high-protein meal in the late morning I am usually good until dinner. (I am, unfortunately, sliding off the vegan wagon because cheese is so helpful.) I find that about 1.5 servings of nuts, a couple of hundred... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 4 months ago

Of course, it would be a bidding site. Not enough to be a place where broke and displaced academics sell their work, it has to be a place where broke and displaced academics strive to undercut each other so they can sell their work for the... [more]
favorited 46 times
MeFi comment - 4 months ago

Everyone always asks for the recipe for these streusel bars. The recipe as given calls for raspberry jam, but I've used pretty much any sort of jam I had. Use whatever kind of fruit sounds good, as long as it's relatively juicy and you mince it if... [more]
favorited 1 time
Ask MeFi comment - 4 months ago

You know, when I am in an environment where I have to hear a lot of misogynist pop culture stuff just to do some ordinary thing, you could envision my experience as a cartoon panel where I am walking through a space and all the open area is... [more]
favorited 122 times
MeFi comment - 4 months ago

Aging isn't the same as disability, even though there are overlaps in experience. I know younger people with disabilities and, for the most part, their conditions are relatively stable and fairly predictable - a decent and well-run society could... [more]
favorited 9 times
MeFi comment - 4 months ago

That linked "Homejoy" story is quite something. Walker sits at 13 out of D.C.’s 42 cleaners with a 4.6; almost all 5s, except for a woman who complained that he hadn’t gotten the mildew entirely out of her shower grout. Yes,... [more]
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MeFi comment - 4 months ago

You don't have to wonder too much what happened to him, we know most of it. His dog died, his mother died, he had a crazy headmaster, WWI freaked him out and he recommitted to atheism, then became an academic and Tolkien and Dyson dragged him back... [more]
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MeFi comment - 4 months ago

Or consider a May 2014 report from 2020health, another thinktank, proposing to extend tax rebates to Britons who give up smoking, stay slim or drink less. "We propose 'payment by results', a financial reward for people who become active... [more]
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MeFi comment - 4 months ago

If anything, the pernicious part is the mass idolization of extreme wealth and luxury. I used to look at Sea of Shoes, years ago, because they used to show some interesting vintage clothes and I looked at a lot more blogs then. The whole... [more]
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MeFi comment - 4 months ago

(The thing is, as the middle class declines, being able to save up for a $500-$1000 "treat" twice a year becomes a rarer and rarer thing. Spur-of-the-moment international getaways? All that stuff? The only people I know who can really do... [more]
favorited 10 times
MeFi comment - 4 months ago

Well, the balloon sounds like an ill-conceived thing, it's true - but isn't the problem with these things the way they represent inequality rather than the things themselves? They're all wonderfully silly, of course, but they also have this... [more]
favorited 10 times
MeFi comment - 4 months ago

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