Activity from Frowner

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I would look at all the "essential wardrobe" pieces and then do some thinking. (They always tell you that you need white shirts, frex, and white shirts aren't flattering on many complexions and are best worn under a suit unless white is a... [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - 4 months ago

I actually dislike "what keeps you busy" and "how do you spend your time" because they seem to me to be transparent workarounds for "what is your job", and they [mostly] elicit the same type of information, since in most... [more]
favorited 25 times
MeFi comment - 4 months ago

Aside from the other issues people note, there are a lot of sex workers who don't "sleep with multiple strangers every day." As I understand it, one of the big advantages to the safer and more comfortable kind of sex work... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 4 months ago

The thing about "the left eats its own, why can't we focus on [whatever, usually class but sometimes race]" is that it's precisely what has always been trotted out by whoever is on top of the movement heap at the moment.... [more]
favorited 64 times
MeFi comment - 4 months ago

You know, I could easily see saying "I bet it's going to be a big baby" when I specifically meant "it looks like there's a high baby-to-pregnancy-weight ratio going on there" and was thinking of that as a neutral observation.... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 4 months ago

It makes me laugh that Jack Halberstam is a director of feminist anything - you have only to read his cultural criticism to see what a pass he gives to sexist crap as long as it validates his ideas about trans male identity. (Note, in particular,... [more]
favorited 26 times
MeFi comment - 4 months ago

Honestly, I occasionally watch an imperfect movie because friends want to see it or there's some other reason to watch it (so I saw an X-men movie a couple of weeks ago because a friend who teaches junior high promised his students he'd watch it).... [more]
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MeFi comment - 4 months ago

I do say "knock knock" when I'm standing in the open door of someone's office because it seems sort of peremptory to just, you know, knock, what with the door being open, and it's helpful in performing secretarial...uh...adorkability.... [more]
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MeFi comment - 4 months ago

But but but...you have the hair part that god gave you. Or I do, anyway. Whenver I try to part my hair anywhere but the one spot that it's always parted naturally, even if I apply a lot of product in the morning it's reverted by noon. Change... [more]
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MeFi comment - 4 months ago

(my point being the if you're a certain type of oddball, you may think "this is a neutral observation" when it is totally not experienced that way, and you - like me! - need to watch that so as not to hurt others.)... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 4 months ago

I would really, really hesitate to stay with someone who cut me off totally when something bad happened in his life, particularly if it left me financially vulnerable. (How does he expect you to pay his half of the rent?) I would hesitate even... [more]
favorited 72 times
Ask MeFi comment - 4 months ago

It doesn't? That is clearly toting only one goat, and is thus invalid. [more]
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MeFi comment - 4 months ago

I think you should tell him that if he won't take steps to get some kind of treatment, you'll leave him, and if those steps are not taken by [time], you'll leave. Don't drop out of school. Leave him first, if that's what it comes down to.... [more]
favorited 69 times
Ask MeFi comment - 4 months ago

I do not like the sound of this at all. I'm assuming that by "hit the side of his body" you mean "gently poked at him" - kind of like kicking someone gently under the table to get them to stop being rude or elbowing them for... [more]
favorited 35 times
Ask MeFi comment - 4 months ago

I think one lurking issue too is that a lot of folks including me have rather undertheorized understanding of "femme". And I think femme-ness is a difficult concept, and there's a whole bunch of stuff entwined with it that's about... [more]
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MeFi comment - 4 months ago

I know JKR joked about no one wanting to read about Harry Potter and the Midlife Crisis ...but there are hundreds of thousands of words of fanfiction suggesting that everyone wants to read precisely that.... [more]
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MeFi comment - 4 months ago

I like the checkerboard tile floor on the last one. And the way that the lab equipment seems overwhelmingly large, clearly to represent its psychological weight. I think I may get a set of these for the office. (I am not a scientist, but lord... [more]
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MeFi comment - 4 months ago

The way you describe this makes me very uneasy. Do you feel that in general your wife respects your boundaries and this journal-reading/intrusive-questioning thing is only about this one topic? Or is she this way about a lot of... [more]
favorited 16 times
Ask MeFi comment - 4 months ago

I add that the biggest thing I had to do in order to be able to figure out and pursue my own intellectual interests was to stop the narrative I had about myself as someone who was a priori unwelcome, excluded, incapable and useless in a world... [more]
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MetaTalk comment - 4 months ago

This is absolutely true, and what I was trying to get at in this hasty comment. For those who have grown to understand and enjoy reading densely referential theoretical texts, it's worth thinking about why you have such a comfort level with them -... [more]
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MetaTalk comment - 4 months ago

As I said, I really didn't find a lot of theoretical jargon in this piece. I don't think that's what tripped people up. But if you think there were particular words that threw people into a state of anxiety I'd love to know what they were.... [more]
favorited 28 times
MetaTalk comment - 4 months ago

This is great - I've often wondered about those very kind of images, since they're posted on men's style blogs all the time, collected in manly-man men's style books, etc, and yet are so obviously the product of a gay sensibility. There are... [more]
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MeFi comment - 4 months ago

I would never, ever leave my cat at someone's house if I thought there was a possibility of the cat getting loose - and it seems like a cat in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people is much more likely to bolt and then really run away, as opposed... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 4 months ago

This type of internet humor depresses me so much. [more]
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MeFi comment - 4 months ago

It's actually making me tired of complaining about straight white cismen, in fact. Because it seems to eviscerate the critique. [more]
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MeFi comment - 4 months ago

(I add that I was once stranded in an ice storm and I called my ex - he was the only person I knew who had a car, was local and was home and there were no tow trucks/other help because the storm was so severe. He helped me without question in... [more]
favorited 17 times
Ask MeFi comment - 4 months ago

can I never be an asshole to, for example, a cis woman because I have male privilege? Or can a cis woman never be an asshole to me because she has cis privilege? I think I reversed that. What I was trying to say is: "If I am mean to... [more]
favorited 9 times
MeFi comment - 4 months ago

The difference between a white activist with a master's degree who runs an art studio in San Francisco and her white Google employee neighbor is indeed vanishingly small. Sorry. But as I understand it, a lot of the people who are dealing... [more]
favorited 22 times
MeFi comment - 4 months ago

This guy needs some sort of therapy, self-administered or otherwise. I can relate to a lot of what he writes, but there is not a single thing in that entire piece about taking steps to mitigate his issue. He does however spend a whole lot of... [more]
favorited 27 times
MeFi comment - 4 months ago

Personally, if I were a black kid hearing white people using the term "Trayvons", hearing from my fellow students of color about the shit they had to deal with, saw fucking Confederate flags hanging on campus, and had already had a... [more]
favorited 7 times
MeFi comment - 4 months ago

Wow, Frowner, that analogy is so ridiculous that I'm out. Enjoy the discussion everyone. Well, I'm sorry to hear that. Just a week or two ago, someone posted that essay about the woman who took part in the dolphin experiment (and I can't... [more]
favorited 10 times
MeFi comment - 4 months ago

Would any of these justifications be acceptable for keeping humans in zoos? I mean, we've had human zoos, and you could trot out the same rationales - conservation dollars, city dwellers seeing "nature", the thrill experienced by... [more]
favorited 16 times
MeFi comment - 4 months ago

1. Forgive yourself. Forgive your past self. You didn't know how to be responsible - that's disappointing. But no one got hurt! You slacked off on trivial responsibilities. That's the up side. You made a minor social mistake while still young,... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 4 months ago

"nastiness toward Sikh student" = determined to be faked tweets, not anything she did. (See the Racialicious article.) [more]
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MeFi comment - 4 months ago

If people keep alienating people who keep trying to make a connection with you, flawed as they may consider it, where the fuck do this first group of people think they'll end up? With a group of people with a "pure" or... [more]
favorited 54 times
MeFi comment - 4 months ago

Yeah, this seems very much like a "build a relationship first, then ask permission" situation. There's an awful lot of stuff that comes up on metafilter - like asking people about their jobs or where they are from, asking about their... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 4 months ago

As a secretary, I found the "you too can work late and assist in parenting the boss's daughter" section particularly amusing. Secretaries, of course, never have children, so we're happy to be "trained" to support the boss's... [more]
favorited 64 times
MeFi comment - 4 months ago

I actually have gone back and forth on being vegan - sometimes I'm a committed 100% vegan, sometimes I have lapses involving eggs and cheese. But that's more about my issues with food and stress than about actual vegan lifestyle stuff. Here are a... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 4 months ago

I just want to say that I am an anarchist (and so are many of my friends). We hold varying jobs - some people do very little work and live accordingly; I hold an ordinary job with benefits because the thought of being without resources and... [more]
favorited 33 times
Ask MeFi comment - 4 months ago

Also, Frowner, I guess I don't get your point. No one invites street harassment, I get you are saying that. but you're also saying that a change in dress can change the amount of harassment, your mileage may vary. Ok? Not really information... [more]
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MeFi comment - 4 months ago

Also, I don't know, yoink -- does the play have a stage full of white people dressed up in cartoonish "Indian" costumes? I don't really see how any description of that could be tone-deaf -- who cares about tone, that shit just isn't okay.... [more]
favorited 32 times
MeFi comment - 4 months ago

I'm going to assume that this is a great relationship being borked by stress, and that basically everyone is grumpy and feeling worse about things than they normally would. I'd suggest getting his favorite dinner tonight and spending the night... [more]
favorited 14 times
Ask MeFi comment - 4 months ago

You sound like you want to break up. However, I bet that you'll regret it later on. Someone who is fun to talk to, has a suitable approach to sex, is smart, doesn't want kids, etc etc - I think that person is going to be very hard to... [more]
favorited 28 times
Ask MeFi comment - 4 months ago

I feel like recommending therapy to the guy - it's not that people aren't assholes and there isn't any body-shaming or that it's all in his head, but getting some help to get you to the "I get to wear a swimsuit if I want, assholes" place... [more]
favorited 13 times
MeFi comment - 4 months ago

And the servants and the secretaries are being paid so this woman can focus more time on work. Today, I paid for childcare and a housekeeper so that both my husband and I could work, albeit paid waaaaaay less than the CEO of Pepsi. Yes, and... [more]
favorited 44 times
MeFi comment - 4 months ago

Anybody that lived in Atlanta through the 90s could have told you this. They doubled the size of I-75. It was congested within a week. The thing is, induced demand has been a commonplace of urban geography courses since the... [more]
favorited 8 times
MeFi comment - 4 months ago

There are very very few secretaries that spend half the year traveling for corporate meetings, working full-time weekends, and working from 9pm-midnight once they get home. And if they do, it's by choice, since that's an atypical secretary job.... [more]
favorited 12 times
MeFi comment - 4 months ago

The basics are the same - meat sliced off a rotating vertical spit, wrapped in pita. But donairs (Halifax-style aka the right way) are seasoned ground 'meat' (no idea what kind - lamb? beef?) with a sweet sauce (sweetened condensed milk and... [more]
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MeFi comment - 4 months ago

Would you eat a turkey lunchmeat sandwich that had been sitting in a bag lunch for a couple hours, one of which was unrefrigerated? I would and have. [more]
favorited 8 times
Ask MeFi comment - 4 months ago


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