I have made it plainly obvious what "side" I am on, but this sort of pedestalling of a people is ridiculous.
Oh sure, it's silly. It's not something I seriously
believe. It's just a bit of emotional leftover from... [
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6 months ago
I don't think it's sexist to want to acknowledge sexuality exists and can present issues when close proximity, intimacy, or touch are part of the work environment. For heterosexual people, which is the larger percent of the population, that... [
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6 months ago
(I add that I live in a milieu where there have been coalitions between non-Muslim GLBT folks and Muslim immigrants' organizations working on voting and immigrants' rights, and if GLBT people, Muslim and non- (and there are Muslim GLBT people, which... [
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6 months ago
Looking at Yelp it doesn't look like there are too many Barbershops in Toronto.
But there are lots of
men in Toronto, and unless they're getting their hair cut at home or they all have long, luxuriant nineties-style hair (a fashion... [
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6 months ago
To carry on, I think that the narratives we have for how we experience sexuality are really reductionist and harmful.
"I'm a visual person; most men are." "I need emotional intimacy; most women do." "Unlike most men, I... [
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6 months ago
NYT Photos Don't Do Justice to Police Presence at Anaheim Protests
I wanted to comment on the
social work that goes into maintaining the illusion of benign police presence...via anecdote, naturally:
Back right after the Seattle... [
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6 months ago
So, which one of those (other than the facile Olympics thing) is incorrect? Believe it or not, the CCP has done lots of fucking evil shit. My nanny was from Anhui. Every single member of her family including her parents, her husband, and her... [
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6 months ago
And if you can't afford therapy, focused journalling about your thoughts and feelings PLUS strategizing for the future can be very effective - almost as effective, actually, as therapy. Get one of those CBT books that everyone is always recommending... [
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6 months ago
I hope that in all of this you are getting some equivalent enjoyment - I've definitely been in relationship situations where I had to keep on doing [whatever] until I got tired/my jaw hurt/it become uncomfortable/I got terminally bored and unaroused..... [
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6 months ago
On a more positive note, I'd argue that youth cultures - no longer sub - are more flexible and a bit harder to commodify now. All you have to do is look at the ever changing cultural stuff on tumblr to realize that politics/culture/fashion stuff is... [
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6 months ago
(I just want to jump in to say that different people have different
senses of smell, which is probably a factor in both this discussion and the case. I have a very weak sense of smell and have no trouble hanging around people who don't bathe... [
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6 months ago
Yes, to close friends and family members who would not be offended. If a friend of mine wanted cash instead of a toy, etc, I would be glad to do that - but if a casual acquaintance co-worker at the office baby shower asked then it would feel a... [
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6 months ago
I find it really hard to imagine working as a photographer and coaxing a crying subject to do something she didn't want to do, especially something as charged as posing without clothes.
Also, back in the nineties most people I knew really... [
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6 months ago
Can you give an example? Because the truth is, unless you are dedicated to some kind of issue advocacy and do social justice-related work in your daily life, there really are very few times that you should obey the urge to "stand up for... [
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6 months ago
Isn't at least some of what happened the consolidation of African Muslim immigrant populations? Perhaps I speak as a Minnesotan high on the thrill of defeating the voter suppression initiative* but I have a tough time assuming that, say, the Somali... [
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6 months ago
I've actually switched almost entirely to bringing lots of cut up vegetables (I bring only the ones I like a lot), a banana with some peanut butter to spread on it and some other source of protein. I am as vegan as possible, so it's often... [
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6 months ago
Angela Carter, a white British author whose work is both sorta fancy-pants
and book-club accessible. I recommend
Nights At The Circus or
Wise Children as starting points.
Vis-a-vis
The Female Man: I am an obsessive fan... [
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6 months ago
1) are haunted by a fear of humiliation, and 2) will not follow a recipe to the letter, believing that slavishly following directions is an implicit admission that you cannot cook... What the magazine essentially offers its readers is a bargain:... [
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6 months ago
The reality is that even though I genuinely do like her as a person, I’ve always thought her opinions and her veganism were ridiculous. I never respected them (which really means I never fully respected her), secretly harboring an opinion of her... [
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6 months ago
Toward the end of the article, it talks about how "science is in trouble" due to inaccurate and dubious popularizations - studies get blown out of proportion, stupid truisms get passed off as science and as a result, many people don't trust... [
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6 months ago
The thing is, it's creepy and gross exploitation all the way down - from Kate Moss to whatever anonymous model Dov Charney is having it off with this week to the shop girls getting fired if they don't look right to the warehouse workers shipping this... [
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6 months ago
I guess I'd ask myself some questions before I bought anything:
1. Are these year-round boots? If so, how is that going to work in the summer? (I used to wear combats year round back in my young day, although that sounds unbearably overheating... [
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6 months ago
I suspect that you mean "martial law to quell rioting and prevent further political agitation since the UK is sort of spiraling toward soft fascism",thus stepped-up penalties for assembly, substantial state control of the media, more... [
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6 months ago
This is categorically and demonstrably untrue. She's THE most successful model of all time in terms of improving sales by a factor of like, 100. Hire Kate Moss, sell more stuff, guaranteed.
Certainly, you could write a pretty good book... [
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6 months ago
Technically, bedbugs can live in bookshelves and desks and so on - in the crannies and corners. However, these are not
preferred bedbug dwelling places. I guess I would buy furniture that was amenable to close visual inspection and then... [
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6 months ago
I'm pretty quick to knee-jerk about development projects and privilege and colonialism, but this seems kind of incredible. I'd suggest you separate the article from the project, for one thing - I expect that the implementers of the project know... [
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6 months ago
I did not realize until this moment that Holden was
supposed to be a phony. I thought I just
found him phony. Admittedly, I think I read the book when I was 15 and haven't looked at it since. I've always had trouble with picking out... [
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6 months ago
There are a lot of different
ways to read literature, and now that we're beyond the New Criticism, it's okay to read for different things. I think one of the confusions people get into about reading fiction (let's just say fiction, eh?) is... [
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6 months ago
It sounds like you need women friends who are where you are. This girl on the other side of the planet - yes, that's precisely a recipe for an emotional affair. If I were in your shoes, I'd be kidding myself just a little, sort of an "oh this... [
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6 months ago
So they conducted an experiment and remotely collected data from a population that they had no buy-in with, didn't make any efforts to co-design with, and never collected consent from?
Isn't the language in this article deeply, deeply... [
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6 months ago
Okay, I have skipped the comments as I have only anecdotes to relay:
I know two men who to my virtually certain knowledge have been in long-term straight relationships, do not have any interest in porn or strip clubs and are not particularly... [
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6 months ago
I already
live in a bat house. We have had four bat intrusions into the main house during the past few years. I've had rabies prophylaxis twice - as per CDC guidelines since I was asleep in a room containing a bat - and our little cat has... [
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6 months ago
(Just as a side-note - I find Milan Kundera's books not only intensely misogynist but just about as squicky and gross as novels can be - I feel like I'm covered with a thin film of ick after reading them. So I mean, don't take Kundera as your model... [
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6 months ago
Seriously? What a hugely uncharitable interpretation, of course not all women are the same. Of course women can be nerds too. I am not substituting dork for male. I am participating in a conversation where we are talking about a piece that... [
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6 months ago
Oh hey, I will tell a tale of my youth in order to illustrate what I mean by "taking up space".
Okay, once I was a young punk college student. Now, I was as unhappy as the dickens, and I
did have a part time job, but I was also... [
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6 months ago
I've never, ever wanted a baby. My partner has never wanted a baby.
I have a visceral reaction of panic and distress at the thought of being pregnant. I don't
really understand how/why other women do it, but I recognize that this is my... [
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6 months ago
I'm a gay dude, and the best sex I have is with my best friends
One thing I notice: when gay dudes' sexual practices are explained for straight people, not only is it usually in homophobic terms ("gay men! so promiscuous! and they... [
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6 months ago
Guys who want kids or want to get married, become extremely unattractive to me....I just couldn't put myself in that situation again. Now it is possible, that maybe someone I'm with could change their mind, but that has happened and it made me... [
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6 months ago
Frowner: Maybe you should consider if you are in fact a kind of bat?
Perhaps some kind of bat-human hybrid? A bat-
man, if you will? Or in my case a bat-woman. I wonder if I could turn my strange powers - if any - to the benefit of... [
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6 months ago
I'm not from the UK, but there's a tumblr I read a lot by a woman in London, Buttercup's Frocks, who wears plus sizes and who looks pretty original. She dresses with a lot more patterns than you do, but she likes brights and dresses and tights and... [
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6 months ago
I was just looking for a woman to share her experience without asking one of my female friends. thanks for contributing anyway.
To digress a moment, I think it's actually kind of great that your first impulse is to gather data before... [
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6 months ago
I'm kind of a "when in doubt don't" person on matters of racism/cultural appropriation, so I would not wear such a costume. White/mainstream culture has a long history of treating voudoun as sort of an exotic prop even though it is a... [
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6 months ago
And here is a thing: I would contend as someone socialized female that women
are brought up to feel that attraction is a dangerous and charged way to related to the world, and we are brought up to believe that we are not active agents who... [
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6 months ago
But because girls have only been presented to you as first this "mysterious Other" with these weird, inferior interests (shopping, dresses, dolls, playing house) and then as sexual/love objects once you're a bit older - and not so much... [
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6 months ago
Living in the era of 'friends with benefits' and finding yourself locked into the role of friend without benefits is bound to be even more galling than usual. Anyone who finds it galling way over and beyond the call of friendship gets not a drop... [
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6 months ago
awkward...
really? did I accidentally Spoonerize? I do that a lot because I was raised in a profanity/innuendo-free household and a lot of words that are hiLARiously sexual to others aren't to me. Amusingly, some of the French I learned... [
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6 months ago
Thank you, aggrieved international, for recalling that the United States is not the world and that Americans (or shall I, in deference to your sensitivities, use the execrable "USians"?) are not global citizens.
And yet, how... [
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6 months ago
Also, should we really be drawing such sweeping conclusions about a bunch of people aged between 18 and 23?
Also, should we really assume that culture and socialization have nothing to do with how people experience their feelings and how... [
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6 months ago
Yes, interviewing a group of US college students in 2012 totally explains every social interaction between all straight men and women ever. Just think of the topics we can settle by studying these kids! I bet we'll discover that women expect to... [
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6 months ago
I just want to jump back in and say that I
don't think this reads as humblebrag. I think it reads as "I have conflicting feelings about this situation - happy! anxious! shame! - and I get a lot of messages from my culture that my... [
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6 months ago
