Activity from Frowner

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Can I just clarify here, and maybe ask that people read somewhat carefully? Having read the first article, I would like to know what the social risk factors for opiate addiction are - almost everyone in the story seems to come from a pretty… [more]
favorited 4 times
MeFi comment - 6 days ago

I mean, if we were in the global south, surely we would also have, for example, a straw cape or a plastic poncho to shed the rest of the rain. These really suggest sixties poptimism future more than anything else to me, and as such seem very San… [more]
favorited 6 times
MeFi comment - 6 days ago

That world is gone now. That world where who you know, and what music you can listen to, is limited by your luck and your dedication – it's been replaced by one where that stuff is all a lot easier. I don't say the current generation simply… [more]
favorited 11 times
MeFi comment - 7 days ago

So he didn't post these, a student did? You're sure it was a student? This whole thing on the face of it sounds like he's a scary manipulative person who has been lying to you and gotten married, but if someone got married while trying to… [more]
favorited 6 times
Ask MeFi comment - 7 days ago

A friend started exercising and dropped close to a hundred pounds with no dietary changes. I started exercising and...dropped zero weight, slightly reconfigured my shape, gained a lot of strength, etc. I think it's worth considering the whole… [more]
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MeFi comment - 7 days ago

I think that - absent some significant mitigating factors that you do not describe - your husband and your husband's friend are actually doing things that would make anyone insecure. They would make people feel insecure in an ordinary… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 7 days ago

You know, secret negotiations would not be so bad if there were a protracted national debate and some kind of meaningful public vote over the result, such that lay people who were interested in the treaty would have a chance to find out about… [more]
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MeFi comment - 7 days ago

You want some Spoek Mathambo - who I recommend musically as well, of course. His cover of 'Control' is really amazing and totally makes the song have more meaning than the original. (Not that I don't like the original.) It's not a high… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 7 days ago

This is way too relationship-y for my taste. It sounds as though he spends much, much more quality time with her than with you, and all his non-practical/non-domestic stuff is with her, not you. Maybe he actually literally spends more time with her… [more]
favorited 62 times
Ask MeFi comment - 8 days ago

I actually quite liked the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie for the Big! Dumb! thing. I saw it once in the theater when I was feeling kind of depressed, and I remember distinctly thinking that it was a pretty satisfying movie of that general… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 8 days ago

“I’ve been trying to work out what a Tory feminist is, because I keep seeing photographs of female Tory MPs in the newspapers, wearing T-shirts with ‘This is what a feminist looks like’ on them. What, like a T-shirt? How can a T-shirt look like a… [more]
favorited 18 times
MeFi comment - 8 days ago

I think Lodge has some US production again, and as for the Le Creuset, most of the actual enameled stuff is French as far as I can tell. They also make some (very good) ceramic and other stuff from China. I prefer to buy stuff made in situations… [more]
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MeFi comment - 8 days ago

What Cooks Illustrated says is that the Lodge enamel cookware is almost as good as Le Creuset. I have a giant Le Creuset ding-and-dent stockpot, and it's very, very nice. It heat evenly (no hot spots) and holds a temperature well; it's large… [more]
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MeFi comment - 8 days ago


I think this article is, overall, somewhat overblown, particularly the pull quote. "I am worth less than a shoe"? No, if you damage a customer's property, you pay for it. Just like if you damage a stranger's property, they can take you… [more]
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MeFi comment - 9 days ago

I was actually working abroad when September 11 happened - although I was in a place where I couldn't get a lot of media coverage and missed much of the immediate fuss. This was at a time when I was trying to decide whether I'd stay abroad… [more]
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MeFi comment - 9 days ago

The thing I always wonder about these capsule wardrobes: how do you handle office work? Like, I can sort of repeat my less noticeable pants once a week, but unless I want to wear only black pants all the time, I need at least four pairs of… [more]
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MeFi comment - 9 days ago

Alden's in-house recrafting service is different from what your usual cobbler will do. Your usual cobbler will replace a layer of the sole by stripping off the worn part and gluing on a new layer of leather or rubber or just gluing on a new layer,… [more]
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MeFi comment - 10 days ago

Somewhere George Orwell writes - to paraphrase - that if extreme hatred and resulting pathological behavior are proof in themselves of mental illness, then extreme generosity and resulting socially beneficial behavior are also proof of mental illness,… [more]
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MeFi comment - 10 days ago

I am sure she's a lovely human being but I am really not entirely happy with the whole "boyish white butch women with basically fashion model features are attractive to straight women" thing, partly because (while I'm a little fat and old… [more]
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MeFi comment - 10 days ago

This is a fantastic list. Back before Ferguson, I had been thinking of making an ask mefi to try to get more resources of this kind, and I am only sorry that this list is the product of such a terrible, terrible year. (It's been a shit year, right?… [more]
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MeFi comment - 11 days ago

I thought the thread was gross and upsetting. [Transish white person here!] 1. I actually care about my participation in this site. I've met some neat people, I've had some interesting and moving experiences, I put a reasonable amount of time… [more]
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MetaTalk comment - 11 days ago

It feels like they have all the leverage and advantage and potential to hurt me if they wanted. It's especially painful that i am having trouble finding a christian friend who is willing to share regarding her christian walk. with my… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 11 days ago

With most of my intimate friends, the intimacy is not constructed out of secrets. That's not to say that we never reveal secrets to each other, but the friendship is built rather than transactional. Like, we're close because our… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 11 days ago

The thing is, we all might change our minds about big life choices. I wish I had gone on the Oxford Semester in college because I surmise that it would have set me on a much more fulfilling and respected career path. I could have - I… [more]
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MeFi comment - 11 days ago

Isn't that just further marginalizing? By forcing the marginalized to be their only advocates, by sticking them under your anthropological microscope? How will that make people free-er? Are certain members on the site required to speak up every… [more]
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MetaTalk comment - 12 days ago

It always struck me (as a white person; I was just too old for these dolls when they started getting wider distribution in the nineties) that the Addy doll was maybe the most interesting, because she had a real story. The other dolls seemed… [more]
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MeFi comment - 13 days ago

I'm curious about the screaming/throwing/humiliating business. Is this what your child reports or what you've seen? If other parents are saying this, where is their information coming from? IME, "good" kids can experience… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 13 days ago

I go extremely abrupt and cold with them - to forestall any idea they might have that I am attracted to them! It's a defence mechanism I developed in school when I had a crush on a kid who then made fun of me for being fat. Oh hi! I do… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 13 days ago

If he's not hitting on them and treats them as respected colleagues, having feelings doesn't seem like a burn-at-the-stake kind of (thought) crime. How true this is! How often I get little crushes on...well, not co-workers generally, but… [more]
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MeFi comment - 13 days ago

I'd just like to push back against this notion, which I've encountered a few times, that arguments about the social construction of race and gender are somehow "abstract" intellectual indulgences to all but a small subsection of site… [more]
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MetaTalk comment - 13 days ago

(Also - because now I started thinking about it I feel really dumb - it's not my business to comment on [or evaluate]real pictures of real people's faces in any case, especially in ways that are unkind and dehumanizing, and I would never feel good… [more]
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MeFi comment - 13 days ago

So, in short, I apologize for being creepy and dumb. [more]
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MeFi comment - 13 days ago

Well, you can observe it - it might even be an interesting observation - but observing it in a finger-shaking "these men dress like boys [of their culture], why aren't they dressing like men [of my culture], clearly this has IMPLICATIONS"… [more]
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MeFi comment - 13 days ago

One of the things that occurs to me: there are things that would strike us today as insanely paternalistic or far-right that even a lot of anti-fascist people in the forties would have been at home with - the arrest of homosexuals, for instance, and… [more]
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MeFi comment - 13 days ago

I think Orwell gets read too broadly. He was writing in response to specific trends he saw (inaccurately, to my mind - he had a real paranoia about the Rest Of The Left, and really needed to see himself as the only real socialist in Britain) as… [more]
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MeFi comment - 13 days ago

If people keep alienating people who keep trying to make a connection with you, flawed as they may consider it, where the fuck do this first group of people think they'll end up? With a group of people with a "pure" or… [more]
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MeFi comment - 14 days ago

a) "The whole idea of 'gender' is a social construct and completely meaningless/damaging, especially to gay men and all women" b) "My child is VERY firm in being a male/female and must be treated by these same norms as he/she… [more]
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MeFi comment - 14 days ago

You may want to bring up to him that women are biologically disinclined to have sex with their children, and that being a giant toddler is probably going to become an issue if it hasn't already. This is far, far more important than it… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 14 days ago

My mom has no rock; my parents consider popular music vulgar. My mom likes Edith Piaf. This guy's mom is no fool, though, vide her comment about "what do black dads think of as 'dad rock'", which kind of exposes the class and race angle… [more]
favorited 23 times
MeFi comment - 14 days ago

I know you're heavily into social justice and not intentionally racist or anything, but that statement comes off as pretty unconsciously racist. Point taken. Now that you point it out, my comment starts to sound like creepy cyberpunk-era… [more]
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MeFi comment - 14 days ago

I want everybody to be happy and in the right place. I previously assumed the world as rather binary (you're either in a relationship or you're not. you're either committed to a person, or you're not). As the calendar ticks over, I am working on… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 14 days ago

If I knew that my partner were thinking "in the next six months I will choose between Frowner and New Person", I would want out. And if I found out later that my partner had gone through a period of Frowner-versus-New-Person… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 14 days ago

(Parenthetically: there are probably a higher proportion of older feminists who are TERFs than younger feminists, but there are significant older feminists (Judith Butler, for example) who have been very public with their criticism of TERFs… [more]
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MetaTalk comment - 14 days ago

god someone HERE was like "oh if you save your pineapple tops they will grow into NEW PINEAPPLES in like 2 years" and iirc i flipped the fuck out I am intrigued by this premise. I mean, I can buy my own pineapples on an as-needed… [more]
favorited 9 times
MeFi comment - 14 days ago

I'd just like to push back against this notion, which I've encountered a few times, that arguments about the social construction of race and gender are somehow "abstract" intellectual indulgences to all but a small subsection of site… [more]
favorited 13 times
MetaTalk comment - 2 weeks ago

So many of your other questions are basically "I am ugly and inferior and a failure, how do I deal with that". This makes me think that this question you are asking now may not be the right one to ask. Look, when I was younger I was… [more]
favorited 57 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

My read is that there are no post-Judith Butler feminists doing scholarship on this issue who could be described as TERFs. (The two names that often come up in this context are Irigarary and Grosz.) At the risk of getting into a derail,… [more]
favorited 10 times
MetaTalk comment - 2 weeks ago

So okay, how much of the "Americans wear puffy shoes and tacky clothes and are always loud" business is a perception error? When I worked abroad, no one except other native English speakers ever identified me, my partner or my immediate… [more]
favorited 23 times
MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

She's still breastfeeding her 3 year-old. I know someone who breastfed her kid until he was, uh, I dunno, three-ish? Older than three? I know a lot of people who do all that new age parenting stuff. The lesson for me has been that… [more]
favorited 22 times
MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

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