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Activity from Frowner

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I'd say that no marriage/long-term partnership really looks happy from the outside - at least I've never seen one. And yet I've talked to a couple of friends very frankly about their relationships and they value and want to preserve them, despite... [more]
favorited 13 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I'm going to echo schmod and throw out my theory (as both a cyclist and a driver- some of us do both!) that many instances of cyclists behaving badly are as much the result of infrastructural design flaws as 'asshat' cyclists. Bikes aren't built... [more]
favorited 23 times
MeFi comment - Last year

My immediate thought is "that waitress was afraid of the bartender or else the work climate is such that she can't address mistakes because people get so horrible". That may be sexism of a different kind, directed at the waitress, of... [more]
favorited 15 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

They contrast "minority" with liberal and well educated and just generally do a piss-poor job of everything. What a good point! I was uncomfortable with that but could not express it so well. Also not impressed with the bit... [more]
favorited 4 times
MeFi comment - Last year

You know why? Because I've timed my speed to allow you to go. I know it's your right of way. There's no car behind you and when you take your right of way, I can then proceed through the stop. However, you don't. You sit there and wait for me to... [more]
favorited 5 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I am, however, perfectly happy to moan about people on Nice Ride bikes (our Boris bikes). Granted, those things are so heavy that I don't think they can be anything but a nuisance, no matter who's riding them. I actually like the Nice Ride... [more]
favorited 5 times
MeFi comment - Last year

She's the one with the gross Evelyn-Evelyn fake conjoined twins thing, right? And the vaguly "sex workers are gross and risible" song titles? And the snarking on fat people via Twitter? I mean, I've never heard a good thing about her... [more]
favorited 80 times
MeFi comment - Last year

If everyone involved was happy and having fun and enjoying themselves, why should it be gross to you? Ah, that question was precisely what I was trying to get at! Why does it seem gross? Because it does - not the sex, the anecdote... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Yeah, one of my friends, who's Finnish, makes her babies take naps outside in the winter. It's apparently a Finnish (or Scandinavian) thing. And it does seem to be true that the babies don't mind at all. People at least used to do it in... [more]
favorited 2 times
MeFi comment - Last year

This is interesting, and I hope they get somewhere. Although I'm not sure they should focus primarily on the avatar part. If they manage to get mind uploading working (even imperfectly), I don't think people would necessarily want to confine their... [more]
favorited 4 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I winter bike! I am a transplant! I love Minneapolis! (I mean, St. Paul is okay too, if you're into that sort of thing.) I have lived in Chicago. Minneapolis is not an east coast style city. It's not big and stony with lots of public spaces... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I hate to break it to you, but what was Current Frowner when you wrote that comment doesn't exist any more. There is only what used to be Future Frowner. Ah, see! The new Current Frowner just ceased to exist as well, and became Past Frowner.... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I may be wrong, but I would expect an even more angry response from the average American to the idea "Americans don't get passports because their country is so fucked they can't even afford to leave" than I would for the current... [more]
favorited 2 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I'm a bit curious about the politics [or the zeitgeistyness, if you'd rather] of all this, although I don't have any theory. 1. I've noticed a lot of "autistics, they are smarter than the rest of us" stuff kicking around the internet.... [more]
favorited 25 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Oh god, you have to look at his campaign blog. It reads like something written by a fourteen-year-old. I don't understand why he doesn't have a competent staffer who could at least put some gloss on it. And look at this piece of... [more]
favorited 29 times
MeFi comment - Last year

The second pair was an eBay acquirement How do people end up writing like this? Vis-a-vis style blogs and racism/misogyny/general assholishness: the people I've seen consistently not be racist jerks are the guy at Affordable Wardrobe... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

O lol. And his awful house, too, with the faux-tiques and the cheap para-antiques. He would have been better off with good, honest modern styles in decent materials rather than the bits and bobs he has. And the occasional posts about going... [more]
favorited 6 times
MeFi comment - Last year

The thing is, sometimes I felt sorry for him because he'd have a few really lovely things - a nice pair of belgian shoes, I'd love a pair of belgian shoes - and he'd put everything together so badly, in such a jumble. Again, back before I saw... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I was kidding about the horse, and I am good with Nightingale (i do have a problem with the ECLA and the episcopals canonizing MLK jr, but that's another point), but this is so ahistorical: Bacchus wasn't gay for one example; Herschel and Frank as... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

You will never find a perfect girl, but you'll probably find a girl whose imperfections are appealing to you. That's the key. Relationships are like apartments - there is no perfect apartment, but for some people lack of closet space (so to speak)... [more]
favorited 28 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

It feels like they have all the leverage and advantage and potential to hurt me if they wanted. It's especially painful that i am having trouble finding a christian friend who is willing to share regarding her christian walk. with my... [more]
favorited 9 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Being visibly "checked out" does not always mean what you think it means, either - I've noticed that since I cut my hair and started dressing in a dapper, sort of effeminate-butch manner I've started to get lots of checking-out-like... [more]
favorited 8 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Clear and patient explanations never have any success, because then you're accused of being patronizing and condescending, or you're just ignored by people who think they know better no matter what, or you're dismissed simply due to the fact that... [more]
favorited 15 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Oh god that was creepy. It grew creepier as it went along. Perhaps I have not read enough of This Kind Of Thing for its effect to wear off. But yes, that was creepy! I kept picturing it written by a monstrous crocodile with opposable thumbs.... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

( I have a lot of discomfort with the "health at any size" movement, because it seems pretty obvious to me that some sizes are inherently less healthy. But I have come to the realization (in part through reading these threads on MeFi)... [more]
favorited 16 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I love that soap - it is my one fancy beauty product. If you're going to an independent co-op (ie, not some kind of Whole Paycheck/Wild Oats place) ask them if you can order a case through them. My old co-op used to order cases of stuff for... [more]
favorited 1 time
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

And honestly, you have a gift to offer radicals of a younger generation. As poisonous as the anti-communist rhetoric was in the US during the Cold War, people grew up with some knowledge of how bad mass political violence was. I think the younger... [more]
favorited 6 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Samuel Delany's novels The Mad Man and Through The Valley Of The Nest of Spiders as well as his memoir Times Square Red, Times Square Blue are probably not precisely what you're looking for, but they have porn and romance and are... [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Also, if you would like to read a depressing novel with what you might call a strongly erotic atmosphere, you could do worse than read Alan Hollinghurst's The Swimming Pool Library. It's a simply tremendous book - a really morally... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Recommendations for cheap, lightweight rain jacket-y thing for biking
favorited 6 times
Ask MeFi post - Last year

In general, can you seek out other introverts? I have had ten-gazillion housemates in my life, and I love living with friendly introverts and tend to put this in my housemates-wanted flyers. Can you seek out graduate students in intensive... [more]
favorited 8 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

The worst outcome is that he doesn't want to and doesn't respond; you save everyone's face by going to the next lesson and not alluding to the whole thing. You acted completely appropriately. Remember that even if he doesn't... [more]
favorited 10 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

You know what? I buy a lot of stuff on eBay, and "I really, really like this thing which is totally me, so please sell it to me instead of keeping it" is just not very persuasive. The only way I would sell something that I had... [more]
favorited 17 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Oh, also - IME, many men do twirly chivalrous nonsense only to women they consider attractive, or much more emphatically to women they consider attractive. This can end up tipping over into really unpleasant stuff about age, body size, gender... [more]
favorited 13 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Doesn't discrimination have to create a hostile environment or otherwise cause harm? Frankly it drives me up the fucking wall when some dude does all that "no after you because you are a lady, and I will wait here until you accept that... [more]
favorited 21 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I swear up and down that this will have blown over in three months if you keep your cool. I have seen genuinely dreadful things blow over, and this is nothing. Here is what I would do: communicate with her once more to apologize, reiterating that... [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

This. Whenever I come to a complete stop at 4-way stops it seems to make car drivers crazy. They'll either try to go right after the car in front of them for whom I had waited, making me wait far longer than I should have to, or they'll start... [more]
favorited 7 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Treat bicyclists like any other operator of a vehicle - licenses, inspections, registration plates, vehicle taxes, fines, insurance, etc. I know we've had this conversation before, but the more you put in the way of bicycling - the more you... [more]
favorited 26 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Why is it such a burden to talk about your ethnic heritage? Based on my experience as a sort of all purpose queer - trans - gender-non-conforming person who often has to Explain It All For You, I bet a lot of it is just that it gets... [more]
favorited 8 times
MeFi comment - Last year

And a genuinely strange video, Bring Me Edelweiss, which contrary to what its name might suggest was a club hit. This has many, many bad things from eighties videos (as in "The Safety Dance", a little person in the video because... [more]
favorited 5 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

This is totally why I have become very, very careful to ask everyone "where did you go to school?" or "did you grow up in [city where thing is taking place]?" because even "where did you grow up?" can sound like you're... [more]
favorited 4 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Actually, it just occurs to me how much the late eighties hair metal stuff is reworked/dequeered New Romantic, and how much New Romantic is basically the result of gay artistic heroes like Jarman.... [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

They try really, really hard not to do anything ironically, they actually fetishise earnestness in a sort of sad, longing-for-innocence kind of way Note to people younger than about 35: Back in the day - by which I mean my day, the... [more]
favorited 40 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Police misconduct boards around here (Minneapolis) are very weak - they have very few powers to get information from the police, their work is heavily political and they have no meaningful power to sanction. Ours was actually dissolved for a while,... [more]
favorited 15 times
MeFi comment - Last year

You know, I had this funny thought. Okay, I was reading some Samuel Delany short stories from the sixties - "Time Considered As A Helix of Semi-Precious Stones" and "Corona" in particular. I had also been looking at a couple... [more]
favorited 7 times
MeFi comment - Last year

That is, emphasize that a social setting is where all this gender stuff belongs, because people can choose environments where their gender is treated in a way that is comfortable for them; treating work as if it is social is not... [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I continued to think about this and it occurred to me that you might want to consider personality types. I think we all tend to fall into the "everyone can do everything really, really well if they are just supported correctly" mindset.... [more]
favorited 6 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I think fine-tuning just what kind of "improvements" you want might be helpful, and who you want them from. The secretaries could probably tell you how to improve the reimbursement process, for example - speaking as a secretary - and might... [more]
favorited 9 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Oh, and Salman Rushdie's Haroun and the Sea of Stories! [more]
favorited 1 time
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I'd love to be invited, but I'd hate to go . . . kinda sums up my life actually. One of the happiest moments of my life was when I realized that I had a standing invite to [Something Really Rather Exciting And Outre] and instead of going to... [more]
favorited 5 times
MeFi comment - Last year

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