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Actually, one thing I notice about a lot of post-collapse dystopias - they are really utopias because the Big Intractable Bad (global capitalism, the surveillance state) has broken down. Small groups of local heroes can overthrow the local... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

Rare, interesting, awesome dance tracks needed!
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Ask MeFi post - 2 weeks ago

And it's worth considering that in the US, at least, straight dudes are not expected to be the objects of desire. The straight male body is very often framed as disgusting, something that women put up with - the official narrative that... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

Perhaps we need to two lego administrators sets - one contains secretaries, accountants and the person who makes sure that your equipment line is backed out of the indirect costs (there aren't quite enough of those sets to go round, which is why the... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

Oh, always bring spare gloves in the winter - pick up, at minimum, a couple of the $1 stretchy pairs from Target. For one thing, you can share them and for another you never know when you'll need them. (I think that some of this "make sure... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

Oh, so cute! Their tiny plastic grant budget problems!!! When the lego adminstrators set comes out, they can have one where the Lego administrators eyeball the lecture nibbles and consider the number of attendees at the start of of the lecture... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

You could consider teaching abroad, after some preparation. I taught composition at several fairly good colleges in mainland China and could easily have parlayed that into teaching composition plus literature/reading-difficult-texts. Most people... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

Maybe the heterosexual dynamics are different. But in my experience with men, it's more than possible to stare at one's partner and be blown away by how beautiful they are without said action being dehumanizing or leading to sexual coercion. I... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

(I would be shocked - like, really, worldview-upendingly shocked - if the Sherlock showrunners build in an overt romantic relationship. Partly because I am An Old, relatively speaking, and partly because I think that they can make a lot of money by... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

A red clip meant “leave me alone.” A green clip, and you’d soon be making friends. This is so brilliant. I wish I could wear such kind of clips for everyday interactions. The whole "old fans versus new" thing really... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

(The thing is, if your relationship is such that "if you loved me you would have sex with me right now regardless of what you want or how you feel" is primary way of getting sex, you have a bad relationship. There are all kinds of ways to... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

I am not a doctor, I am not your doctor and I think going to the urgent care is a good idea. At the same time, that is a very unusual location for a deep vein thrombosis, since it doesn't seem to be over one of the major deep leg veins. It's... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

At some point in the aftermath, did a reporter ever go back to the clerk who called the cops and ask him why he was being a racist jagoff? It's a minor footnote, but all (justified) cop-blaming here is letting someone else off the hook. I... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

Particularly hilarious Soviet cartoon about movie making
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MetaTalk post - 2 weeks ago

I wonder if he's read Orwell's smaller work - the As I Please columns and so on. I actually like those a lot better - and return to them much more often - than his bigger work and certainly his novels and most of the "big" essays. For... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

I don't think so. If he'd been wearing an immaculate suit and perfectly groomed, they'd have behaved just the same. Just ask the legions of well-dressed black men who have gotten the same treatment. Oh, I'm not saying that the cops only... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

Oh my god, the animated part where the Tick says to Arthur while they are dangling from a rope and need to build momentum, "Swing with me, Arthur, swing!" - and then swing music starts playing, OMG, that alone almost makes me feel that... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

Also, ten hours of volunteering plus a two hour meeting every week is too much - I know that's just your example, but if people are doing that much work, you have too few people. (Unless it's a super-urgent issue with a clear end point, or the... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

Somewhere Samuel Delany, the great, great writer and literary theorist, remarks that everyone is doomed to make a noisy, scary emotional spectacle of themselves in public about three times in their lives - he's talking sobbing, flailing bizarre... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

I was thinking about how I've been "objectified" all my life - even though I have never been sexually attractive to very many men, and now am basically sexually invisible as a butch person of indeterminate gender. But the reason I say that... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

I think "Fred" isn't the question here. Can you take things slow with Fred? How do you know him? If you really like him - well enough that you'd date him even absent James - could you see him casually for a while? The issue is that... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

An unmarked black van, with a bunch of burly 30 to 40 somethings wearing and putting on Black Bloc gear. This is from way, way upthread, but if you see something like this, those people are not anarchists, they are not Black Bloc,... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

And one last thought that I meant to include in my previous comment, and then I'll knock it off - there's something really perverse in the "men are so gross" narrative, because it teaches men that women should have to have sex with... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

IIRC, Freudians were very big on female narcissism, right? Of course, there's a very simple explanation for female sexual "narcissism" - if you grow up being taught that being desired is the measure of your worth, and you... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

Rarely do I pass up an opportunity to stick my nose into the cops' business. If I see a police officer violating some minor law (something that would get a normal person in trouble, like blowing through a stop sign or turning right on red in a no... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

Well since I was 1 month old at the time and thus my recollection of events is somewhat murky, I will bow to the memories of old more experienced readers and assume this is one of those books whose recognition grows over time. Because Russ,... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

Until about six months later when I was on my way to work and opened the front door to find my yard full of police, some squatted down behind shrubs, some at the edge of the house, and it turned out there were a bunch of them in the back yard and... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

(To clarify my anecdote: the study area was in a location where no one could have seen who was making noise if they were making noise, so the noise complaint itself could not have been motivated by race, and we knew there wasn't any noise; also the... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

In Ferguson, young demonstrators are finding it’s not their grandparents’ protest: "“We were trained when we marched. We were taught if they spit on you, just wipe it off and continue marching. But we are dealing with a new breed of youngster.... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

Also, the no-failiest thing I've ever made (that wasn't candy - would you be interested in candy recipes?) is these Cooks Illustrated raspberry bars. I make them vegan by subbing in any kind of vegan butter, and I double the quantities of jam and... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

What I was really thinking was "what is objectification", and it occurred to me that "objectifying" is usually framed as "using something as an object of desire" and that's where the confusion comes in, because it's... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

I have lived in Chicago and Minneapolis. Things I miss about Chicago: good Italian, good Greek, good French, good Polish; broad choice of independent bookstores; multiple neighborhoods that basically do the same thing but different (ie, there... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

(In the commercial porn that I have seen - which I'd say is a reasonable and representative sample circa maybe five years ago, plus another reasonable and representative sample when I was in my late teens/early twenties - I'd say that my take-away... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

I was part of a volunteer project whose website got a couple of these emails years and years ago. I didn't manage the website, so I only heard about this in meetings. But the group pretty much looked at the emails, decided that they were a bullshit... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

I mean, I think there's all kinds of stuff to parse out here: 1. Fad - we're having kind of a nineties moment, and it's the nineties moment of that Calvin Klein gender-neutral perfume and bowl haircuts, plus "androgyny" becomes... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

Oh my god, that poor little girl in the Connecticut case. I bet there are a hundred queer youth organizations who would work with her to organize housing, therapy and education if she could just be gotten out of state custody. I mean hell, she can... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

On a not-fertility matter: I find that when I have big life events coming up - whatever they are! even positive ones, like a trip! - I experience heightened and persistent anxiety about stuff. If there is something big and obvious to worry about, I... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

I think that if you're mostly talking about being around Evergreen, there's a lot more latitude about how you dress in any case. I'm also not entirely comfortable with the "no one must wear anything that reveals [body part] because it might... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

Dude, yes you can wear a skirt. I think there's an argument about capitalism which might run like "as cis men become more and more able to wear/use previously 'female' items such as skirts and make-up, they take on all the... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

So far, I feel like we're talking like "kids" is "boys". (And of course, the linked piece is about a son.) I surmise that it's going to be a lot more likely that girls will be looking at really standard, male-centric... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

But the thing about CeCe McDonald is that it is possible to say "here is a nice college girl who was in the process of triumphing over adversity when she got jumped by a bunch of white trash racist nazi-sympathizers", and even the TERFs and... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

(And one more quick comment - when I was a mere slip of a queer person, I found femme bisexual women really irritating and blamed it on their femme bisexuality when what I should have been objecting to was the culture which valued femme women and... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

Would you have a good idea, then, about how to refer to the small handful of loose cannon protestors who pull that kind of loose-cannon shit? Because on the one hand I absolutely don't want to contribute to a protest-tone-argument thing, but on... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

Also, it occurs to me that "there are three hundred people including the elderly and children being held at gunpoint in a mass arrest scenario with very little water in the heat AND it is going to take two days to get everyone processed and... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

I thought about this a lot more on my way to work and decided to make another comment. 1. Before you do anything think very carefully about what you want the outcome to be versus what's likely to happen. At best, you're going to shame the... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

That film with the police marching with guns drawn - frankly that scares the hell out of me. I just...that is just so non-standard for police repression in this country in the last twenty years. The rest of it is an intensification of stuff... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

There's a public health aspect to this - the more cramped the seating, the more difficult it is for passengers to move enough to prevent blood clots, which are a risk of sitting or lying in a very cramped position for extended periods. To me, this... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

I would never in all my life have expected Lena Dunham to write an essay that...hm, had some remote and melancholy parts that seemed not from the age of... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

This....does not sound like a great idea. You sound like you don't especially want to be friends with him, for one thing. You also sound like you're lonely enough that you might possibly get pulled into something with this guy out of inertia.... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

I suspect that a clean break will be easier for you. There is a small chance, I think, that if you do a slow fade with E, he will respect that and be sad but not a jerk, but IMO, when someone has been dropping a lot of hints, writing stories,... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

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