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chewy mouth feel that most folks are looking for If most people are looking for a chewy feel in their tea....well, I just don't know what the world is coming to, is all. And does one drink iced tea with milk? Is that some kind of sick… [more]
favorited 3 times
MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

Perhaps you could break down the thing that you're apologizing for, at least in your head. Let's say you broke up with someone via text right before their bar exam but after they had cheated on you. You might regret that you had to break up… [more]
favorited 17 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

if she believes her treatment was particularly disadvantaged by her race or if it's simply the lens she uses to view the world around her. I am a white person who has had roommates of color and who has worked with people of color in… [more]
favorited 13 times
MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

Is the Yoga song/video taking this piss? I can only say what I see in it, but what I notice immediately: 1. Janelle Monae in her usual position somewhat outside the main narrative of the video, playing the "romantic lead"… [more]
favorited 51 times
MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

I've always been fascinated by Meg Murray's liverwurst and cream cheese sandwich, in A Wrinkle in Time. I read it only once, and ages ago, but that (and the strange melancholy of the story in my memory) really tugs at me to this day. Now that one… [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

I just got back from a trip to China, and in Xi'an I was very surprised to see a number of residential high-rises surrounded the smokestacks of a coal power plant. I don't have any good pictures because of the thickness of the haze, but it was… [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

One of the most fascinating things about the internet is that stuff like "the enclosure acts happened" and "wage labor is a historical phenomenon" and "famines are political more than natural phenomena", or even… [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

um... yeah - my SO is an underfunded, tea-addict British grad student, and he wouldn't touch PG Tips. Tetley's for everyday. But the best tea in Britain is tea from a quality tea merchant; I once had a Darjeeling which was like tea-champagne… [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

The Effective Altruism people who don't have a weird Calvinist obsession with the singularity are way less unpleasant than you guys think. The actual argument is that you should make as much money as possible and then give as much as possible… [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

Especially since, as they are overwhelmingly white men, stopping being shitty to marginalized people is not as compelling as a possible asteroid problem.. But the other key feature - economic equality means that some people become,… [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

Look, don't kid yourselves, cats are no one's friends. If they had opposable thumbs, they'd be herding you. [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

Also I like how she explains the whole "when we talk about straight men of color who have sex with men, we always talk about this in context of race but no one ever talks about white men as white because white is assumed to be normal and… [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

Yup! I dated a trans guy briefly and he told me it was super weird realigning from straight boys to queer boys, it was a whole new universe for him. Ditto a BAMF of a trans woman I knew out west who was lesbian, she said it took a lot to wrap her… [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

A friend of mine was just pushed to negotiate directly with a prosecutor over a phony arrest. When my friend basically said that they weren't going to lie down and deal but planned to proceed to trial, all charges were dropped - but that probably… [more]
favorited 38 times
MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

Consider that you can talk to a lawyer and after that start out pretty gentle: "Friend, I wanted to talk to you about the agreement we signed last spring. When you let me know that you were planning on selling, I went back and looked at… [more]
favorited 12 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

I'd have loved something like this, which would have humanized people like me and reminded the class as a whole that I was in the goddamn room This, absolutely. One of the things I'm thinking about as a teacher (an amateur teacher,… [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

Well, speak for yourself. Having watched a few internet shaming campaigns, I incline toward the view that they are generally ineffective whenever they might be ethical and somewhat less than ethical whenever they are effective. It's hard to shame… [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

Why yes, a mob of goodies chasing some baddies is TOTALLY DIFFERENT than a mob of baddies chasing some goodies! But it kind of is, right? I mean, it's a bit different if one is, say, executing Mussolini or if one is killing… [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

Also, I don't want fucking self-checkouts. Yeah, sure, I'd like to get rid of some of the only jobs available to people - who live in my city! who are my neighbors! who, what's more, spend money locally! - who are already marginalized, yes, that is… [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

I just wanted to jump in and say, for Chocolate Pickle or anyone else following along at home: you can be both trans and gay/queer/lesbian/bi. It only makes sense - gender and sexual orientation are different; there are a lot of, for instance, trans… [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

Yes, but - okay, look, Justine Sacco gets shamed all over the internet for her racist tweet, and loses her job, and that's good, and all who participated should be proud of themselves. Cheryl Abbate gets shamed for her handling of a… [more]
favorited 51 times
MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

You know, all this talk of Niccola Griffith reminded me - she used to participate in a feminist SF email list that I was on (and was very charming and friendly) and around the time The Blue Place came out, she apparently got a lot of… [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

I add that "despite what you've heard, you don't have to be an ugly fatso to be a woman in STEM - look, you can be really pretty" is a pretty screwed up message to send, and I feel like that's where a lot of these go. [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

They have a certain number of real-life actual employees and she's one of them, and if you think they could have done "better," I'd like you to provide some kind of meaningful proof that they chose her over somebody else and shouldn't… [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

It's not sexed up, it's not more glammed up than those with her male co-workers, and if the implication is they should have picked some other, less pretty female engineer who works for them because Isis Anchalee is too pretty, that's insane and… [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

It was a transparent attempt to sex up the tech world, some said… Except, you know, she was actually just an engineer wearing her own face. And this is the damned if you do, damned if you don't - if they'd used a photo of an average woman… [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

As much as the pushback on the ad is stupid and horrible, I really wish that it was possible to show women in tech without having to start with the most conventionally beautiful engineer possible, or at least start by using a regular photo of… [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

I don't mean to gainsay you, as you have a very valid point. However, it's important for society to be informed that heteronormatively attractive women can also be smart & do things with their brains. They are sides of the same coin, part of… [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

So, when I have eaten refrigerated fresh mozzarella and thought "this is very tasty and fresh-tasting and has a wonderful texture", I'm just being a rube, right? Purely on a selfish level, I would enjoy this type of article more if it… [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

Like a lot of people of my generation, I was routinely left in the car when my mother ran short errands - in fact, I'd often ask to stay in the car so I could read and not stand in line at the post office, etc. This was certainly happening… [more]
favorited 57 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 weeks ago

Okay, can I tell an Ian McKellen-related anecdote here? It's actually pretty funny. So, at my university we had a long-time, beloved and very witty faculty member who, late in life, looked extraordinarily like McKellen, especially in… [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

Oh, I love her music. I remember when "My 1997" came out. It inspired me to make many mix tapes and CDs all called "My 1997" that were sort of riffs on what her music and lyrics made me think of. [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

From your question, it sounds as though the guy wanted you to record the interaction but you have no way of getting in touch with him? Why not shoot an email over to CopWatch? If he gets out of jail, he might conceivably check in there, for… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

For instance, today our customer experience team works a regular eight-hour shift, not 12. We supply our employees with laptops, they don't use their own. And we don't ask prospective employees to work a trial day before they are hired. Was it… [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

Another solution: live in an extremely porous Victorian house. Your house will develop an organic, local ecosystem of mice, bats, bugs and birds and your cat will be able to hunt with no input from you. Pro-tip: your cat will require a rabies… [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

I just want to tell you: every guy I ever dated seriously offered to marry me. In general, that made me feel trapped. I could have had four engagements by thirty if I'd wanted to, on much the same pattern that you have. I tended to date nice,… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

The Jenkins boys were drumming softly on their congas to the hot breezy mood of the night air. Directly under the street lamp was an old beat-up folding card table where the Fletchers and the Andersons, lifelong friends and neighbors, were… [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

Vote for sane politicians who will have the willingness and ability to raise taxes, particularly on the wealthy, so that there can be real preventive programs and no fear that we won't have, e.g., lifeguards at the lake because all the money went on… [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

I definitely agree with the premise of the article. I also wish I had some injera right now. A little thing, though: the rise of restaurants in the US wasn't because people just somehow wanted to start eating tastier foreign food. Some of the… [more]
favorited 38 times
MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

I suspect that people are going to say that no one is ever "completely honest". How could we be? We're a constant mess of various thoughts and impulses, most of which have to be canalized so that we can function as a coherent self in the… [more]
favorited 34 times
Ask MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

(to clarify - it's not that every dude who can't cook has always had a woman to cook for him. It's that there is a cultural assumption that caretaking - of the body, the home, the emotions - is women's work and men don't need to learn it… [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

Frowner, agree, also the weird neotenous pastel thing that is going on in internet gender circles straight up gives me the creeps and while I'm willing to assume at least part of that is my internalized misogyny something is awry there. I… [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

I think one lurking issue too is that a lot of folks including me have rather undertheorized understanding of "femme". And I think femme-ness is a difficult concept, and there's a whole bunch of stuff entwined with it that's about… [more]
favorited 13 times
MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

I get where you're coming from, but I'm having difficulty seeing the difference between passing as straight at work during the week and partying it up with fellow queers on the weekend, you know? A lot of work environments are incredibly toxic to… [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

All I said was that if you're starting from scratch then it's hard to know what are good, accurate sources for sex education. I think you guys are reading too much into my comment. The point is that women (or people living as women who do… [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

There really isn't enough in this question to say anything for sure, and thus I'd recommend therapy - I'm not sure whether high-class talk therapy would be best since it might help you dig stuff out or whether it would just reassure you of your… [more]
favorited 14 times
Ask MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

do, in the end of the book, suggest that, if straight people want in on queer life, that’s about something more than homosexual sex. That’s about queer subculture, which is anchored to a long tradition of anti-normative political practices and… [more]
favorited 19 times
MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

On a note slightly different from the gender angle - I've often thought that there should be a simple good-manners course available online or preferably in grade school which taught certain basic principles like "don't comment on people's… [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

Did you have a chance to read all of Diski's memoir stuff? There's part where Diski gets all freaked out and anxious and depressed and finally gets it together to ask Lessing, basically, "you've taken me in and my parents don't want me back and… [more]
favorited 7 times
MeFi comment - 3 weeks ago

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