Activity from Frowner

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Don't say "personal brand". I would infinitely rather have to recite a list containing all the usual suspects ("moist", "adorkable", etc) than have to hear people refer to their "personal brand". Every time I… [more]
favorited 8 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I would look at all the "essential wardrobe" pieces and then do some thinking. (They always tell you that you need white shirts, frex, and white shirts aren't flattering on many complexions and are best worn under a suit unless white is a… [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I actually dislike "what keeps you busy" and "how do you spend your time" because they seem to me to be transparent workarounds for "what is your job", and they [mostly] elicit the same type of information, since in most… [more]
favorited 25 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Aside from the other issues people note, there are a lot of sex workers who don't "sleep with multiple strangers every day." As I understand it, one of the big advantages to the safer and more comfortable kind of sex work… [more]
favorited 15 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

The thing about "the left eats its own, why can't we focus on [whatever, usually class but sometimes race]" is that it's precisely what has always been trotted out by whoever is on top of the movement heap at the moment… [more]
favorited 64 times
MeFi comment - Last year

It makes me laugh that Jack Halberstam is a director of feminist anything - you have only to read his cultural criticism to see what a pass he gives to sexist crap as long as it validates his ideas about trans male identity. (Note, in particular,… [more]
favorited 26 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Honestly, I occasionally watch an imperfect movie because friends want to see it or there's some other reason to watch it (so I saw an X-men movie a couple of weeks ago because a friend who teaches junior high promised his students he'd watch it)… [more]
favorited 5 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I do say "knock knock" when I'm standing in the open door of someone's office because it seems sort of peremptory to just, you know, knock, what with the door being open, and it's helpful in performing secretarial...uh...adorkability… [more]
favorited 1 time
MeFi comment - Last year

But but but...you have the hair part that god gave you. Or I do, anyway. Whenver I try to part my hair anywhere but the one spot that it's always parted naturally, even if I apply a lot of product in the morning it's reverted by noon. Change… [more]
favorited 7 times
MeFi comment - Last year

(my point being the if you're a certain type of oddball, you may think "this is a neutral observation" when it is totally not experienced that way, and you - like me! - need to watch that so as not to hurt others.) [more]
favorited 5 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I would really, really hesitate to stay with someone who cut me off totally when something bad happened in his life, particularly if it left me financially vulnerable. (How does he expect you to pay his half of the rent?) I would hesitate even… [more]
favorited 72 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

It doesn't? That is clearly toting only one goat, and is thus invalid. [more]
favorited 1 time
MeFi comment - Last year

I think you should tell him that if he won't take steps to get some kind of treatment, you'll leave him, and if those steps are not taken by [time], you'll leave. Don't drop out of school. Leave him first, if that's what it comes down to… [more]
favorited 69 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I do not like the sound of this at all. I'm assuming that by "hit the side of his body" you mean "gently poked at him" - kind of like kicking someone gently under the table to get them to stop being rude or elbowing them for… [more]
favorited 35 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I know JKR joked about no one wanting to read about Harry Potter and the Midlife Crisis ...but there are hundreds of thousands of words of fanfiction suggesting that everyone wants to read precisely that. [more]
favorited 4 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I like the checkerboard tile floor on the last one. And the way that the lab equipment seems overwhelmingly large, clearly to represent its psychological weight. I think I may get a set of these for the office. (I am not a scientist, but lord… [more]
favorited 1 time
MeFi comment - Last year

The way you describe this makes me very uneasy. Do you feel that in general your wife respects your boundaries and this journal-reading/intrusive-questioning thing is only about this one topic? Or is she this way about a lot of… [more]
favorited 16 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I add that the biggest thing I had to do in order to be able to figure out and pursue my own intellectual interests was to stop the narrative I had about myself as someone who was a priori unwelcome, excluded, incapable and useless in a world… [more]
favorited 1 time
MetaTalk comment - Last year

This is great - I've often wondered about those very kind of images, since they're posted on men's style blogs all the time, collected in manly-man men's style books, etc, and yet are so obviously the product of a gay sensibility. There are… [more]
favorited 1 time
MeFi comment - Last year

I would never, ever leave my cat at someone's house if I thought there was a possibility of the cat getting loose - and it seems like a cat in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people is much more likely to bolt and then really run away, as opposed… [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

This type of internet humor depresses me so much. [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

It's actually making me tired of complaining about straight white cismen, in fact. Because it seems to eviscerate the critique. [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

(I add that I was once stranded in an ice storm and I called my ex - he was the only person I knew who had a car, was local and was home and there were no tow trucks/other help because the storm was so severe. He helped me without question in… [more]
favorited 17 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

The difference between a white activist with a master's degree who runs an art studio in San Francisco and her white Google employee neighbor is indeed vanishingly small. Sorry. But as I understand it, a lot of the people who are dealing… [more]
favorited 22 times
MeFi comment - Last year

This guy needs some sort of therapy, self-administered or otherwise. I can relate to a lot of what he writes, but there is not a single thing in that entire piece about taking steps to mitigate his issue. He does however spend a whole lot of… [more]
favorited 27 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Personally, if I were a black kid hearing white people using the term "Trayvons", hearing from my fellow students of color about the shit they had to deal with, saw fucking Confederate flags hanging on campus, and had already had a… [more]
favorited 7 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Wow, Frowner, that analogy is so ridiculous that I'm out. Enjoy the discussion everyone. Well, I'm sorry to hear that. Just a week or two ago, someone posted that essay about the woman who took part in the dolphin experiment (and I can't… [more]
favorited 10 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Would any of these justifications be acceptable for keeping humans in zoos? I mean, we've had human zoos, and you could trot out the same rationales - conservation dollars, city dwellers seeing "nature", the thrill experienced by… [more]
favorited 16 times
MeFi comment - Last year

1. Forgive yourself. Forgive your past self. You didn't know how to be responsible - that's disappointing. But no one got hurt! You slacked off on trivial responsibilities. That's the up side. You made a minor social mistake while still young,… [more]
favorited 24 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

"nastiness toward Sikh student" = determined to be faked tweets, not anything she did. (See the Racialicious article.) [more]
favorited 14 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Yeah, this seems very much like a "build a relationship first, then ask permission" situation. There's an awful lot of stuff that comes up on metafilter - like asking people about their jobs or where they are from, asking about their… [more]
favorited 5 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

As a secretary, I found the "you too can work late and assist in parenting the boss's daughter" section particularly amusing. Secretaries, of course, never have children, so we're happy to be "trained" to support the boss's… [more]
favorited 64 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I actually have gone back and forth on being vegan - sometimes I'm a committed 100% vegan, sometimes I have lapses involving eggs and cheese. But that's more about my issues with food and stress than about actual vegan lifestyle stuff. Here are a… [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I just want to say that I am an anarchist (and so are many of my friends). We hold varying jobs - some people do very little work and live accordingly; I hold an ordinary job with benefits because the thought of being without resources and… [more]
favorited 32 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Also, Frowner, I guess I don't get your point. No one invites street harassment, I get you are saying that. but you're also saying that a change in dress can change the amount of harassment, your mileage may vary. Ok? Not really information… [more]
favorited 3 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Also, I don't know, yoink -- does the play have a stage full of white people dressed up in cartoonish "Indian" costumes? I don't really see how any description of that could be tone-deaf -- who cares about tone, that shit just isn't okay… [more]
favorited 32 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I'm going to assume that this is a great relationship being borked by stress, and that basically everyone is grumpy and feeling worse about things than they normally would. I'd suggest getting his favorite dinner tonight and spending the night… [more]
favorited 14 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

You sound like you want to break up. However, I bet that you'll regret it later on. Someone who is fun to talk to, has a suitable approach to sex, is smart, doesn't want kids, etc etc - I think that person is going to be very hard to… [more]
favorited 28 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I feel like recommending therapy to the guy - it's not that people aren't assholes and there isn't any body-shaming or that it's all in his head, but getting some help to get you to the "I get to wear a swimsuit if I want, assholes" place… [more]
favorited 13 times
MeFi comment - Last year

And the servants and the secretaries are being paid so this woman can focus more time on work. Today, I paid for childcare and a housekeeper so that both my husband and I could work, albeit paid waaaaaay less than the CEO of Pepsi. Yes, and… [more]
favorited 44 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Anybody that lived in Atlanta through the 90s could have told you this. They doubled the size of I-75. It was congested within a week. The thing is, induced demand has been a commonplace of urban geography courses since the… [more]
favorited 8 times
MeFi comment - Last year

There are very very few secretaries that spend half the year traveling for corporate meetings, working full-time weekends, and working from 9pm-midnight once they get home. And if they do, it's by choice, since that's an atypical secretary job… [more]
favorited 12 times
MeFi comment - Last year

The basics are the same - meat sliced off a rotating vertical spit, wrapped in pita. But donairs (Halifax-style aka the right way) are seasoned ground 'meat' (no idea what kind - lamb? beef?) with a sweet sauce (sweetened condensed milk and… [more]
favorited 1 time
MeFi comment - Last year

Would you eat a turkey lunchmeat sandwich that had been sitting in a bag lunch for a couple hours, one of which was unrefrigerated? I would and have. [more]
favorited 8 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year


I don't know what will happen with you, but it takes a long time to get better. I have always been an anxious and depression-prone person. I had an episode of severe depression and anxiety starting in 2003. It took a year after the worst part… [more]
favorited 6 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

More, actually, people think that's it's emotionally fulfilling and appropriate for you to spend your energy on the boss's daughter. [more]
favorited 1 time
MeFi comment - Last year

Another thing to consider--how financially stable are you likely to be? Are your jobs stable? Will you be able to pay for whatever standard of living you'd like your children to have? When you have to do serious economizing, will this place stress… [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I think you should see if you can have a couple of sessions with a counselor to try to unpick some of this stuff. I know two people who will absolutely admit that they had kids (now in the 5-8 age range) and regret it deeply. Although they're… [more]
favorited 10 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

This may or may not be useful to you, but something in your post reminded me of Feelings I Have Had: In your post, you say that you're afraid. And that makes sense - I'd be afraid, too. An additional thing I've discovered from working through… [more]
favorited 8 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

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