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It sounds like the "is this too many tweets" is just a proxy for "this person is more plugged in to the internet than to our friendship". That's a legitimate problem. Scale back the hanging out! You are busy this month, you'll... [more]
favorited 4 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

An update: I mulled for a while and then just took them out. The things that made me decide this finally: 1. Seeing a really racist GLBTQ message board post that showed a picture of a tribal elder (with no location or tribe given) with very... [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I think trying to put a really perfect, symmetrical symbolic reading onto most books is a mistake. Obviously, the orcs are in some ways the proletariat of the dark satanic mills and the trolls are coarse and uncultured lower-class ruffians. That... [more]
favorited 4 times
MeFi comment - Last year

University is not meant to be a "life experience", it's an education and research institution. Everything else is superfluous But the thing is, college is a life experience - it just doesn't need snack bars and so on. I... [more]
favorited 7 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Recently I read a comment by a Korean-American girl (on a tumblr, no idea where it was from) talking about how she felt that the trauma of the war was still present in S. Korea, and the trauma of the sundering of the country, and that these things... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Can you explain what you recall about this perspective? I'm not seeing the connection between the war and Korean ideas about beauty and "success" as measured via competition, both of which are much older than the war. I would if I... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

What's so special about these other people and why do they get a free pass when they're being blatantly in-your-face-rude or whatever? I suspect that those people are men, and that you are not. To be less abrasive, you have to want to be... [more]
favorited 12 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

It's funny how you speak of Israelis returning land in Israel to the "prior inhabitants" as if Jews are completely alien to the land. I know it's in poor taste to link to Wikipedia, but there have been Jewish people in Palestine... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I have an old zine somewhere (possibly it was Bunnyhop) in which Lisa Suckdog wrote a much more sincere and engaged version of this article wherein she basically talked about how she felt like she'd surrounded herself with hideous thriftstore art and... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I'm pretty sick of articles where women humblebrag that they're so transgressive because although babies grew in their wombs they still think about sex and have social lives and haven't taken up tatting or started wearing SAS shoes or whatever... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

On the literal "what to do about the toys" level - tell your parents that your apartment is too small to have the toys now and that you don't want to mess them up by not storing them properly. (Especially the dollhouse! That is TOO BIG for... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I rock back and forth very gently a lot of the time. It's a combination of habit and anxiety. (Note that while your friend may say she has "no major trauma", she may have "no major trauma that she wants to share with you" or... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

It just seems counter-intuitive to me that a union would rather drive a company into the ground than find some way to keep its workers employed. Help me see the light! Accepting unsustainable pay and benefits cuts is a bad thing for these... [more]
favorited 44 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

So - it's a bit like the "gay panic" defense... Only instead of "teh gays" it's "teh arabs"... Arab Panic? Palestenian Panic? Palesteinophobes (to make a corollary with homophobes)? I think so, yes. I think... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Has there ever been an analogous case of a compassionate approach working in this kind of geopolitical situation? I'd say it's much more that no one wants to take a compassionate approach, because it would be psychically costly for... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I caution here that 1. Moorcock was writing in 1978 (which IIRC was before his big "feminist moment") and was certainly when feminist SF was still a scattered thing and Mieville was writing in 2002, when I'd argue that Mieville's thought on... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

(I want to add that I think Mieville is the tops, own most of his books and regularly quote the "every branny breakfast item in a New York Starbucks is a fucking Blood Muffin" line from his blog. Also, The Scar is one of the finest... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

The thing is, when I read Mieville's list, the work by women and people of color feels like really glib choices - not that Woman On The Edge of Time and Beloved aren't terrific, but they're sort of strange and facile choices compared to... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I mean, I do want to add that there is cultural crap that makes it hard for a woman to get a "man's" haircut, and I hate that cultural crap. (I wish I had a good barbershop nearby - there used to be one run by a really... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

But it is a pet peeve of mine that happily-coupled people—like these letter writers—seem to often place normal single-person behavior in the same category as sexual harassment and sexual assault, as though the fact of not being in an established... [more]
favorited 28 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I have made it plainly obvious what "side" I am on, but this sort of pedestalling of a people is ridiculous. Oh sure, it's silly. It's not something I seriously believe. It's just a bit of emotional leftover from... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

(I add that I live in a milieu where there have been coalitions between non-Muslim GLBT folks and Muslim immigrants' organizations working on voting and immigrants' rights, and if GLBT people, Muslim and non- (and there are Muslim GLBT people, which... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Looking at Yelp it doesn't look like there are too many Barbershops in Toronto. But there are lots of men in Toronto, and unless they're getting their hair cut at home or they all have long, luxuriant nineties-style hair (a fashion... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

To carry on, I think that the narratives we have for how we experience sexuality are really reductionist and harmful. "I'm a visual person; most men are." "I need emotional intimacy; most women do." "Unlike most men, I... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

NYT Photos Don't Do Justice to Police Presence at Anaheim Protests I wanted to comment on the social work that goes into maintaining the illusion of benign police presence...via anecdote, naturally: Back right after the Seattle... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

So, which one of those (other than the facile Olympics thing) is incorrect? Believe it or not, the CCP has done lots of fucking evil shit. My nanny was from Anhui. Every single member of her family including her parents, her husband, and her... [more]
favorited 18 times
MeFi comment - Last year

And if you can't afford therapy, focused journalling about your thoughts and feelings PLUS strategizing for the future can be very effective - almost as effective, actually, as therapy. Get one of those CBT books that everyone is always recommending... [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I hope that in all of this you are getting some equivalent enjoyment - I've definitely been in relationship situations where I had to keep on doing [whatever] until I got tired/my jaw hurt/it become uncomfortable/I got terminally bored and unaroused..... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

On a more positive note, I'd argue that youth cultures - no longer sub - are more flexible and a bit harder to commodify now. All you have to do is look at the ever changing cultural stuff on tumblr to realize that politics/culture/fashion stuff is... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

(I just want to jump in to say that different people have different senses of smell, which is probably a factor in both this discussion and the case. I have a very weak sense of smell and have no trouble hanging around people who don't bathe... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Yes, to close friends and family members who would not be offended. If a friend of mine wanted cash instead of a toy, etc, I would be glad to do that - but if a casual acquaintance co-worker at the office baby shower asked then it would feel a... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I find it really hard to imagine working as a photographer and coaxing a crying subject to do something she didn't want to do, especially something as charged as posing without clothes. Also, back in the nineties most people I knew really... [more]
favorited 35 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Can you give an example? Because the truth is, unless you are dedicated to some kind of issue advocacy and do social justice-related work in your daily life, there really are very few times that you should obey the urge to "stand up for... [more]
favorited 5 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Isn't at least some of what happened the consolidation of African Muslim immigrant populations? Perhaps I speak as a Minnesotan high on the thrill of defeating the voter suppression initiative* but I have a tough time assuming that, say, the Somali... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I've actually switched almost entirely to bringing lots of cut up vegetables (I bring only the ones I like a lot), a banana with some peanut butter to spread on it and some other source of protein. I am as vegan as possible, so it's often... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Angela Carter, a white British author whose work is both sorta fancy-pants and book-club accessible. I recommend Nights At The Circus or Wise Children as starting points. Vis-a-vis The Female Man: I am an obsessive fan... [more]
favorited 1 time
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

1) are haunted by a fear of humiliation, and 2) will not follow a recipe to the letter, believing that slavishly following directions is an implicit admission that you cannot cook... What the magazine essentially offers its readers is a bargain:... [more]
favorited 36 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Toward the end of the article, it talks about how "science is in trouble" due to inaccurate and dubious popularizations - studies get blown out of proportion, stupid truisms get passed off as science and as a result, many people don't trust... [more]
favorited 59 times
MeFi comment - Last year

The thing is, it's creepy and gross exploitation all the way down - from Kate Moss to whatever anonymous model Dov Charney is having it off with this week to the shop girls getting fired if they don't look right to the warehouse workers shipping this... [more]
favorited 16 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I guess I'd ask myself some questions before I bought anything: 1. Are these year-round boots? If so, how is that going to work in the summer? (I used to wear combats year round back in my young day, although that sounds unbearably overheating... [more]
favorited 1 time
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I suspect that you mean "martial law to quell rioting and prevent further political agitation since the UK is sort of spiraling toward soft fascism",thus stepped-up penalties for assembly, substantial state control of the media, more... [more]
favorited 92 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

This is categorically and demonstrably untrue. She's THE most successful model of all time in terms of improving sales by a factor of like, 100. Hire Kate Moss, sell more stuff, guaranteed. Certainly, you could write a pretty good book... [more]
favorited 5 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Technically, bedbugs can live in bookshelves and desks and so on - in the crannies and corners. However, these are not preferred bedbug dwelling places. I guess I would buy furniture that was amenable to close visual inspection and then... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I'm pretty quick to knee-jerk about development projects and privilege and colonialism, but this seems kind of incredible. I'd suggest you separate the article from the project, for one thing - I expect that the implementers of the project know... [more]
favorited 36 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I did not realize until this moment that Holden was supposed to be a phony. I thought I just found him phony. Admittedly, I think I read the book when I was 15 and haven't looked at it since. I've always had trouble with picking out... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

There are a lot of different ways to read literature, and now that we're beyond the New Criticism, it's okay to read for different things. I think one of the confusions people get into about reading fiction (let's just say fiction, eh?) is... [more]
favorited 10 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

It sounds like you need women friends who are where you are. This girl on the other side of the planet - yes, that's precisely a recipe for an emotional affair. If I were in your shoes, I'd be kidding myself just a little, sort of an "oh this... [more]
favorited 22 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

So they conducted an experiment and remotely collected data from a population that they had no buy-in with, didn't make any efforts to co-design with, and never collected consent from? Isn't the language in this article deeply, deeply... [more]
favorited 4 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Okay, I have skipped the comments as I have only anecdotes to relay: I know two men who to my virtually certain knowledge have been in long-term straight relationships, do not have any interest in porn or strip clubs and are not particularly... [more]
favorited 16 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I already live in a bat house. We have had four bat intrusions into the main house during the past few years. I've had rabies prophylaxis twice - as per CDC guidelines since I was asleep in a room containing a bat - and our little cat has... [more]
favorited 11 times
MeFi comment - Last year

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