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'Round here, Carhartts are what the smelly kind of slightly older green anarchist is wearing out, since they were trendy up through a few years ago and they never really die - inasumuch as anything is trendy when worn by green anarchists. I mean,... [more]
favorited 7 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Hey there! I can answer this as someone who is rising forty and has a bunch of twenty-something friends whose parties I occasionally attend. I could, if I wished, spend many nights of the week partying and drinking pretty hard, and probably some... [more]
favorited 21 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Also I can't tell if you are in Chicago now rather than Minnesota, but if you are, there are various people here who can make some suggestions about food and stuff in Chicago too. I know for a fact that there are some food distribution projects... [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

That's a huge cop out. I mean by all means cash your paycheck but you're working for a big exploitative business; don't make excuses for yourself. Some day you're going to have to choose between your paycheck and solidarity with someone getting... [more]
favorited 11 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Here is a thing: I would not want to kiss a guy who "found most people boring" and rationalized his inability to tell people apart as "I am not interested enough to bother", the way you describe yourself doing in your other... [more]
favorited 15 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I was once at a labor event back when all this Syria stuff started and a derailing debate broke out about whether US intervention ever does more good than harm. Someone raised their hand and asked us whether our debate would actually make any... [more]
favorited 45 times
MeFi comment - Last year

(And let's not forget that US intervention has been fucked up, destructive and self-interested pretty much always, and that at least since Haiti, it's been conducted under the guise of liberal humanism but that hasn't stopped it being fucked... [more]
favorited 22 times
MeFi comment - Last year

And this suggests to me the death knell of dapper queer fashion. I mean, the last one with the suspenders? That's, like, what every masculine-spectrum young queer woman wears out on the town, right down to the floppy haircut. Oh well, I never got... [more]
favorited 2 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Just take money from elsewhere in the budget, like administrator salaries or new construction. New construction, sadly, often comes from earmarked funds - the legislature, a foundation, alumni, the city, corporate funders - which can't be... [more]
favorited 7 times
MeFi comment - Last year

What kind of definitive proof is there at all that this isn't a cleverly constructed media persona by someone whose been raised since birth with the toolset to game the system and get lots of media attention? She's literally getting completely top... [more]
favorited 3 times
MeFi comment - Last year

As far as STEM post-docs and grad students being conservative - as I understand it, they were the ones who were strongly against a grad student union here and as a result, two campaigns failed. Now, that's a bigger issue - at least here, they're... [more]
favorited 2 times
MeFi comment - Last year

If I recall my eighties and early nineties correctly, Madonna's sex photo book was hugely controversial both amongst feminists and [much more so] in the broader culture. And has everyone forgotten the whole late eighties/nineties culture war thing... [more]
favorited 13 times
MeFi comment - Last year

To further clarify: I don't think it's some kind of failure of radicalism to say if there's declining resources, the problem of declining resources is not going to be solved by arguing that everyone should get tinier and tinier but equal slices of... [more]
favorited 7 times
MeFi comment - Last year

And the simple fact is that if you're trying to get Billionaire X to give the campus a gaudy gift you're going to get a lot further if you can put them in the room with Famous Important Person Y rather than with Super Competent but Basically... [more]
favorited 1 time
MeFi comment - Last year

(How does one go about choosing their name once they have decided to live as the gender that they identify as? What kind of factors go into a choice like that? I've seen a few different models (the opposite-gendered version of their birth name,... [more]
favorited 10 times
MeFi comment - Last year

You mean the white minstrelry of Cyrus' act? Yeah, I'm with you. Yes, exactly - that having an opinion about that is a political thing, and it's not inconsequential, and the idea that it's embarrassing or trivial or boring is... [more]
favorited 8 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Except people's at lives are at stake in Syria, and no one dies when Cyrus twerks. Except that - as far as I can tell - there isn't a fucking thing we can do about Syria. You might as well have an opinion about twerking instead,... [more]
favorited 9 times
MeFi comment - Last year

In Timmi Duchamp's interesting Marq'ssan series*, the proles of the future live on tube food, which is basically this in different flavors with enough vegetables, fruit or cheese mixed in to give it a bit of texture. Honestly, I'd expect to see at... [more]
favorited 1 time
MeFi comment - Last year

My gut response would be "this place will be full of overpriced hipster crap and the staff will be obnoxious" because my first assumption would be "this is run by the kind of person who thinks it's cool to wear native regalia to music... [more]
favorited 15 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

(I've had so many, many bikes stolen, ranging from fairly decent to thrift shop. I had a bike that had two flat tires and destroyed wheels and was a really, really cheap bike to begin withstolen off my glassed in front porch. (Admittedly, it... [more]
favorited 6 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Unless "there's nothing anti-human about technology" was supposed to be just restating the tautology that things made by humans are human things, with all the positives and negatives. I think the idea here is to respond to,... [more]
favorited 8 times
MeFi comment - Last year

This sounds really pretty disturbing! If there was some other mitigating factor (like, this is his first long-term adult relationship; or if the topic was really upsetting for him for some reason; or if there's some kind of unpleasant... [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Has it been terribly rude for me to tell people that their new haircut looked nice, or that they made a funny joke? Is there some deeper difference I'm missing here, or is it just that "exotic" is a term that's now being absorbed into... [more]
favorited 51 times
MeFi comment - Last year


Thanks, everyone! Further information: it is the shifters that are being replaced - one person suggested that they could clean them out as described above and then another said no, they needed to be replaced. I can stop in to another shop for a... [more]
favorited 1 time
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

So I went to a Taylor Swift concert and was transformed. So I went to a One Direction concert and was transformed. So I went to a Phish concert and was transformed. So I went to an Insane Clown Posse concert and was transformed. So I went to... [more]
favorited 26 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Do you have other reasons to believe that he is "emotionally unavailable" or that his family doesn't want to get to know you? Has he led you to believe that this is already a serious relationship but is still reluctant to introduce... [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

What you describe sounds less like crushes to me and more like fixating on unattainable fantasies that reinforce your feelings of worthlessness (depression) and distract you from potential real-world human connection/intimacy (anxiety).... [more]
favorited 38 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I add, people's family norms with strangers are really different. My family? We are introverts. Inviting a newish date to make a long drive and a long visit with the family would not be something we'd do, not out of any sinister motive but... [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

On the therapy front: if you are in a place with a large Romanian community (or perhaps E. European diaspora in general?) maybe you could find a therapist who has some cultural context for your concerns? I mean, if your parents are expecting... [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Oh my God, the Sass Bun is completely wrong for that one dude's face shape! His updo is stacked right on top of his head, elongating his oval face and drawing attention to his forehead, when he should be emphasizing his beautiful eyes and... [more]
favorited 4 times
MeFi comment - Last year

If I can add one thing: the tone of your question, especially the "you mean I get money for not working" part in your response, raises some flags for me. It suggests that you have trouble seeing yourself as entitled to money and a... [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Dudes with longhair? Why? There are plenty of ways to say to the world "I'm a kick ass bro and do not care for your societal conventions" without being uncomfortable the whole time. Holy shit, I cannot think a single way to voluntarily... [more]
favorited 8 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I don't think this phenomenon is unique to men, and don't care for the term 'mansplaining.' But the point is that there is a particular kind of explaining that is sexist - that's rooted in male socialization. Men are socialized to... [more]
favorited 148 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Okay, I know this is marked "answered", but here's a thought: I worked in China for several years, speaking some mandarin and making a bunch of friends, both local and ex-pat. In a sense, I never "understood" Chinese people (in... [more]
favorited 8 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I ended up wondering why so many of us have such strong emotional responses to anything you can label "theory" - so much ressentiment, in particular, if you want a theory word. Honestly, I bet most of the people who were all... [more]
favorited 15 times
MetaTalk comment - Last year

And lastly: I used to say to myself "I have to do [self-sacrificing inconvenient thing that is sure to be a disaster] because otherwise [terrible consequences]" and what I have noticed is that the situations where I used to just knock... [more]
favorited 6 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Also, learn to trust that "OMG NO I CANNOT" feeling. I used to try to override it when peopledasked for help that I knew would be overwhelming for me to provide, and every time it was a terrible disaster that just made things worse.... [more]
favorited 10 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

It just goes to show that I was, frankly, completely fooled. I read the occasional short piece by HS (and I still think that some of them are actually pretty insightful), but it seems pretty clear to me that if I'd been reading him regularly... [more]
favorited 1 time
MeFi comment - Last year

So it appears that people get most of their information from vague media stereotypes, right? Minnesota is the nicest, our accent is weird and...that's about it, because people have listened to an episode of Lake Wobegon Days and that's all they know... [more]
favorited 4 times
MeFi comment - Last year

No, of course you should not have her live with you. Why doesn't she live with your dad, if "help her above all" is the dominant issue? Your dad is a full-fledged adult much better able to deal with her needs than a young person just... [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I think Orwell gets read too broadly. He was writing in response to specific trends he saw (inaccurately, to my mind - he had a real paranoia about the Rest Of The Left, and really needed to see himself as the only real socialist in Britain) as... [more]
favorited 36 times
MeFi comment - Last year

What about baked vegetable dishes? (If it's not too hot to bake.) I do a lot of baked tomato gratin-type stuff, for instance: Oven at 300, halve your tomatoes horizontally and core if needed, remove seeds and pulp, set them upside down to drain for... [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

And here is my longer comment! 1. There's what you might call "vulgar cultural appropriationism" which isn't thought out very well - that's where, for instance, you get people on tumblr asking in all seriousness if it is culturally... [more]
favorited 48 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Hugo Schwyzer? I think of him like this. Let's say that being a fairly good feminist ally, hoorary, is called "Being At Ten". Let's say that your average straight white dude who has not considered any feminist things at all is "At... [more]
favorited 5 times
MeFi comment - Last year

You should talk to a therapist. Not because you're a terrible person or "doing something wrong", but because you've martyred yourself into this awful situation and it's not clear why. Some things I notice in your post: 1.... [more]
favorited 7 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Which is funny my read wasn't "less butch" then the tuxedo jacket look, it was that she was kind of terrifying. She's like Janis Josplin having a Galadreiel Tempetation moment, a screaming wailing hurricane of fake fur and hair that... [more]
favorited 4 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I found the “No lazy, crazy or selfish people are allowed,” line pretty hilarious, because the only reason I can think of to give away my leftovers, especially if I'm cooking with fancy expensive ingredients (which seem to be required... [more]
favorited 14 times
MeFi comment - Last year

As for the laundering...from my limited experience, you can do this without the washing machine. I grew up poor, had poor relatives, and am old enough that some people still used cloth because that's what they've always done. I could be... [more]
favorited 71 times
MeFi comment - Last year

One of the things that occurs to me: there are things that would strike us today as insanely paternalistic or far-right that even a lot of anti-fascist people in the forties would have been at home with - the arrest of homosexuals, for instance, and... [more]
favorited 7 times
MeFi comment - Last year

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