Activity from Frowner

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You know, one of the hallmarks of genuinely nice men is this: when women talk about recurring misogyny and how much it sucks - even if those women are angry! even if those women do not qualify their every sentence! even if those women do not... [more]
favorited 28 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I really like Chris Kraus. In some ways her work feels/still feels really eighties to me, like it belongs in Re/Search: Angry Women. And OMG the abjection. I hope she is not as abject in life. Or if we are all in fact that abject in life... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

If you feel the thoughts creeping into your mind, let them. Follow it all the way to inevitable outcome, the outcome that is not as positive as your first impulse is leading you to believe. This actually doesn't help me with problem... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I've always had a difficult time understanding how the idealism of their youth did a 180-degree turn. You could also add support of the Civil Rights movement and adoption of the second wave of feminism. (Although the leaders of these movements,... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

So, to interject rudely here - if we can't resell copyrighted material manufactured overseas, that means that all the used bookstores will fold overnight, right? Because they'll all have to do a huge amount of administrative stuff to separate out... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Yes, my dad was totes in the legislature, and my mom never had to work a day in her life...she was just a medical transcriptionist for kicks. Heck, bell hooks and Allan Berube and Sylvia Rivera are also to blame. And of... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Some of her behavior (the dancing, for example, and the shoving cutlery down the disposal) sounds a bit odd - could it be that she's not entirely well? She must be in her late twenties, and that seems like extraordinary behavior at that age.... [more]
favorited 13 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

cite? Cite which? I mean, I allege two things, although this isn't a very cite-heavy thread. I'd say that in this thread, the narrative about sixties radicals is very much "they all rebelled and then sold out and are... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Why does this produce such strong feelings? And it does produce strong feelings - I see these pictures and I have a visceral reaction of despair, shame and disgust. I assume from some of the strongly-worded comments in this thread that... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Why does anyone want to join this organization? Even when I was a kid, it struck me as bizarrely regressive even for the seventies, like some kind of quasi-pre-military or the fast track for the Elks Club or something. Seriously, why does it even... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Okay, something bugs me here. Let's just assume that it's correct to interpret the poster's question as "my family and friends are pressuring me to dress better and wear make-up; I wouldn't mind doing this but I work a difficult job and have... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

On the one hand, fuck a bunch of "women are the sex class and even seeing their clothed bodies makes it so that men can't function, plus this line of reasoning is a convenient stick to beat women with, plus god things". On the other... [more]
favorited 34 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Once again it is so weird to me that we've got two things at the same time: many, many black women saying that they do not feel represented in popular culture, that they would like to be represented as frequently/normally as white folks are,... [more]
favorited 53 times
MeFi comment - Last year

We all know that guy - I know a "that guy" who actually changed himself (by conversations, reading feminist books and a lot of self-reflection and hard work) and is, seven years later, a much nicer and happier person with a wonderful... [more]
favorited 53 times
MeFi comment - Last year

You should listen to THEESatisfaction. What about awesome people like Janelle Monae? She's more of a soul/pop/dance person but she has worked with Big Boi and her stuff certainly relates to hip-hop. Or The Coup. Or what about... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Huh. I wonder who will be apologizing in twenty years for the cover-ups, forcing sick people off benefits and so on that Cameron is doing now. It's like an infinite cycle - government assholes protect themselves while they're in office and then a... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

As a sidelight on the whole thing: mere moments ago I was looking at one of the snobbish shoe blogs that I sometimes look at and found this gem of rhetoric: "...all Saint Crispin’s shoes are handcrafted by a small team of artisans, craftsmen... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Now, I know that this is not men's styleblog orthodoxy, but I like J Crew's men's shirts. The fabrics tend to be soft and comfortable and I like their patterns. Sure it's no J Press or fancy Italian maker, but there you go.... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

(Oh, I just want to add that it is very easy to get worked up over injustices that seem new and strange and startling while letting pass the ones that are routine and familiar, even if those are worse. Like, is it worse to airbrush women out... [more]
favorited 19 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Initially: "Susan, I'm happy with the way I look. When you suggest that I need to change, it makes me feel undermined and frustrated. Please stop giving me suggestions about my appearance." And then change the topic when they continue.... [more]
favorited 23 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Last week I happened across The View while channel flipping and they had Gabby Douglas on with a backdrop of her doing a mid air splits leap on the balance beam (Totally safe for work). They blurred out her crotch like it was Japanese porn or... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Split the costs! Remember that fights and resentment over money are really destructive to relationships - in the long run, even if you save a couple of hundred dollars it won't be worth it. (I mean, unless this is an extremely casual FWB-style thing,... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

So wait, what, Ikea 'fessed up and it was actually them apparently assuming that the Saudis just couldn't handle a regular Ikea catelogue and not the actual Saudi franchisee at all? So does this boil down to "Westerners in advertising... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Replace "women" with "Black people" and no one would think this was culturally acceptable or a subject we enlightened Western folks shouldn't discuss. And expecting Arabic women to have fully developed ideas of what freedoms... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Okay, everyone is going to tell you to go to...therapy! IANYT. It's pretty common, though, to try to replicate the relationships we grew up with. It's also pretty common to try unconsciously to destroy successful relationships because the... [more]
favorited 7 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Oh, gosh, that sounds almost exactly like my history of sort-of-around-the-hip problems. IANYD and I recognize that words are imperfect and we may sound like we're describing the same thing but we're not. Here is what happened to... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Oh, dude, your update makes it sound just like mine - that's exactly how mine feels. I don't think it's sciatica either. I think sciatica-like treatment makes some sense, though - stretches, core exercises. (Piriformis stuff is related to... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Why not give cash and a small but special present, if that's how you feel? When I've received objects as gifts, I've often been more delighted by a small, relatively inexpensive yet appealingly fancy thing than by a big thing anyway - a gift... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

That? That is a chin-length bob with a deep side part, no bangs, no layering except a little bit at the ends. I would not mention "bangs" except to say that you do not want them, as this will only confuse the issue - I grew up in... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Actually, you're probably already doing this, but if you're not: read a bunch of men's style blogs over a few months. I'm in a rush so I won't link, but I like Down East And Out (reblogs a lot of great images); An Affordable Wardrobe (thrifted... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I think that it depends very much on what impression you aim to give. Do you want to look traditional yet memorable? Do you want to look like new money? Do you want to look like you follow the couture? Do you want to look like you wish it was 1940?... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

All of this is rather difficult to figure since we don't really know what your style is. Glasses-wise, I wear Shurons or Anglo-Americans, which are nice without being especially memorable. But if you're looking for unusual frames...well, I'd really... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Yes, rap is a skill as complex as playing rock music - maybe even more. I'm no expert in this but I can speak as someone who did not "get" rap or hip-hop for most of their life. What changed my mind were these things: 1. Honestly, an... [more]
favorited 34 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

If it's sort of dry and thick with a rounded shell, it might be what I grew up calling an "isopod" but which was actually some kind of pillbug or woodlouse, often found in damp places. (I mean, they are isopods, but so are a lot of... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I don't know - I happen to have spent a good deal of time around a group of lower-income kids whose parents have less education. I've watched those kids play computer games and play regular games. I'm familiar enough with the group to say that some... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

(Aw, thank you windykites!) If your friend is really sincere and just ignorant, maybe he would like to read some books? Can't Stop Won't Stop is supposed to be very good - it's about hip-hop generally. I also remember hearing good things... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Boy, I remember back in the Downsize This! era (otherwise known as what we used to think of as 'hard times')..."Clinton's created a LOT of new jobs, Joe." "Yeah, I have three of them.... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

James Herriot's All Creatures Great And Small and the other books in that series. They are so comforting that even I, a gloomy atheist anarchist, find them pretty cute. The guy was a country vet in England during the late thirties, served... [more]
favorited 5 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I think reducing feminism to "choice" is an oversimplification. It relies on the idea that we all arrive in the world as robotic rational actors who never change, who always have perfect information and equal access to resources, etc etc.... [more]
favorited 32 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Gosh, we're all old. When did that happen? I mean, I'm younger than those guys, but they were the sort of Established But Young set when I was in college. The Death of Speedy is one of the best graphic novels ever. And the one all... [more]
favorited 5 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I would not give cash. I feel like cash is a gift that you give either when it's traditional, it's been specifically requested or when the giftee has fewer financial/social resources than the giver. My parents gave me cash for my birthday when I... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Okay, mefi rote answer - have you thought about therapy? It's got to be pretty traumatic growing up in a family driven out of their country by violence, even if that was in your grandparents' generation, and it's obviously affecting you out of all... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Also, you might find it reassuring to read some histories of indigenous resistance movements or radical activism in Latin and South America. I'd say those are far better parallels with the US, or far better aspirations for US radicals - and even... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Send her an email that says "Don't beat yourself up about it - it's fixed now and I'm not worrying about it. Cheers, Lesli212" Keep it VERY short. That will reassure her if she's sincerely seeking reassurance but not feed into anything.... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I feel your pain! I hate talking to strangers and when I go to the farmers' market I often end up with either nothing or twenty pounds of vegetables that go bad before I cook them. Here are some thoughts: 1. Get some 'snack' vegetables like... [more]
favorited 6 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I think it's important to remember that both men and women are socialized into how we/they experience sexual desire. I mean, the way you describe sexuality seems completely normal - as in reasonably common - but also the product of gendered... [more]
favorited 12 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Back off! You can, however, be friends in the long run. Reduce your contact either by explicitly telling the guy that you need to step it back because you have feelings for him or just by saying that you're really busy and being less available.... [more]
favorited 6 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

So what I'm seeing in these articles is this: 1. From the mainstream perspective, it's bad if terrorists destroy something for political goals but perfectly acceptable/inevitable for capitalism to destroy something to make money for rich people.... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I think there's a little bit of truth in this, but I also think that Tolkien is less of an innovator in that regard than we now tend to think. Wagner is an obvious precursor (heck, it's even a giant mythic saga about a magical ring of power!).... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I think that Frowner is right that his behavior doesn't necessarily indicate that he is consciously manipulating you, actually enjoying having two women "fight over him," etc. However, I think that Frowner's conclusion--Emotional affairs... [more]
favorited 12 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

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