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Your subordinate yelled at you in front of the whole office? Jeez, that would be a firing offense in my job (I mean, you probably wouldn't get fired for it, but it would fall under "gross insubordination" and you could be... [more]
favorited 12 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

And at this point in my life, I have driven myself to a state where I won't read anything unless it's by Terry Pratchett, Daniel Pinkwater, or J. R. R. Tolkien, or Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency; I won't watch anything besides My Little... [more]
favorited 39 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

One of the things I did not realize until I grew old...or older anyway: I had always assumed that "Emotionally I am not ready for a relationship even with someone I really like and so I just can't right now" was twee, emo,... [more]
favorited 9 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

The rest stayed in their cabin and played Bananagrams. I guarantee you they all came back claiming their minds had broadened. If you'd sent me - a nerdy little social outcast - on a "work trip" with my classmates to a part of the... [more]
favorited 8 times
MeFi comment - Last year

This individual girl sounds awful, it's true - but I'd like to point out that back in the early nineties I was accepted everywhere I applied (and I applied to pretty good schools - Carleton rather than Harvard, so not absolutely the tippety top, etc)... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Actually "incubate children in artificial wombs" was a relatively common idea among futurist-minded second wave feminists - you see the idea in the anti-racist utopia in Marge Piercy's Woman On The Edge of Time and in the intro to... [more]
favorited 5 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Most people I know on the market aspire to an upper middle class life. They're after a secure gig that allows them to own property and have kids. And if that's what you want, then getting a PhD in the humanities is indeed a big gamble (for most... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

One of those turns out to be 'slow motion visit to an extremely nice upper middle class home with a really beautiful persian rug". [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Rare, interesting, awesome dance tracks needed!
favorited 17 times
Ask MeFi post - Last year

Documentaries and other films about writers, libraries and books wanted!
favorited 4 times
Ask MeFi post - Last year

But people did grow up in those houses, I assume? I'd always thought that the floating-stairs/scary-water-feature ones were mostly either architects' houses or second homes for rich people - that's the impression I get from my stacks of... [more]
favorited 4 times
MeFi comment - Last year

One thing I notice here - your initial question and follow-up mimic your problem. Your initial question is very mild and gives an impression that you're a total milquetoast; your follow-up is much stroppier and gives more facts. It sounds... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Perhaps some people reading this thread might enjoy Dianna Wynne Jones's Tough Guide To Fantasyland. [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

“I'm trying to visualize how much hate I would be subjected to if I said anything like this as a straight male...” You know, it's true that if a straight male friend said something like "how do lesbians know they're on a date or if... [more]
favorited 28 times
MeFi comment - Last year

One thing you can do, mentally, is this: decide for yourself the point at which you will fling caution to the winds and invite her to stay with you. For example, you might say "I would be willing to take her in if she were literally... [more]
favorited 4 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I would submit that perhaps this "giving" model works for a professor at a non-profit university. Good for him (I mean that sincerely). Sounds like a lovely guy. I do think it's worth asking why the NYT is running a profile on a... [more]
favorited 33 times
MeFi comment - Last year

If you have not watched Pom Poko (also known as Heisei-Era Raccoon Dog War, apparently), you totally should. It is the best cartoon movie about tanuki and social justice that there is, and I really admire the way it lays out a lot of stuff. It's... [more]
favorited 1 time
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Thanks for all the great comments! I'm especially excited to look at some of the books and readings you mentioned. There are some challenges in the teaching I'm doing, so I will need to tweak some of your suggestions when incorporating them -... [more]
favorited 1 time
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I think it's worth looking at this guy as a product of a system more than as an individual. If you have a lot of money and few social constraints, you get weird and your norms get weird. It's not because of you; it's because of the... [more]
favorited 13 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I think just looking at this through the lens of your paid job is rather limiting. Plenty of people are involved in organizations outside of work that this can be applied to. Organizations that you care about are a potential source of future... [more]
favorited 19 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I knew a guy in college who actually did this. He is extremely charismatic and managed to get an entire restaurant kitchen donated, and installed in the basement of his rental house. Over 100 people were involved in dumpster diving, cooking, and... [more]
favorited 12 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Also, is there a lot of corruption or dodginess with your cops locally? (I know - is water wet?) This could easily be some kind of scam, essentially, but a scam organized by the cops. There could be a shake-down aspect to this, or some kind of... [more]
favorited 1 time
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

If you get really desperate, there is a National Lawyers' Guild chapter in New Jersey. They will be familiar with dodgy cop stuff and will probably be able to direct you to legal resources. Remember to sit tight. The cops do not have a... [more]
favorited 6 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Cops showed up at my house when I wasn't there alleging (totally wrongly) that someone they were looking for lived/had lived there. (I mean, we'd been living there for a while and we knew the people who'd been there before - there was some mistake... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Your cheap shoes are glued, not stitched. You can have a cobbler glue a protective 'topy' or some other glued layer onto the sole to extend its life if you do this fairly early in the life of the shoe. Even if they are stitched, they're... [more]
favorited 8 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I add that one reason I stopped dumpstering is that I can afford my own food, and I didn't want to be drawing attention to dumpstering locations and taking food for myself when there were others out there who really needed it.... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

If you gave a dinner party and everyone was talking over dinner, someone's chicken might sit on their plate for an hour while they chatted, and they'd take a bite of it every once in a while. Honestly, I have trouble believing this whole... [more]
favorited 23 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

One story about his search for a new wife certainly bolstered this view. Shortly after his divorce, Frampton, then 64, expressed concern about finding a wife between the ages of 18 and 35, which Frampton understood to be the period when women are... [more]
favorited 41 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I don't know how bad it is in America (I'm sure it's much worse), but many supermarkets in France will even pour bleach into their dumpsters at closing time to make sure no "bad elements" (i.e. impoverished and starving people) will show... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I student-taught in our local sixties fortress high school - and the experience put me off teaching permanently. I have no idea whether you get technically better outcomes from more humane architecture - maybe grades and learning are too complex... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

My college went from having (when I was there) real staff who got paid meaningful wages and benefits and who were employees of the college (and therefore, whose kids got the employee tuition break) to being an outsourced service (shortly after I left)... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I loathe CS Lewis, even though I'm awfully fond of certain aspects of his books, and could probably quote bits and pieces of them. I do really love the parts in Perelandra where Ransom is wandering under the mountain. Why? The endless... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

The thing about Lewis's good female characters is that they are all young girls. As soon as they develop any kind of adult interests or sexuality, they are either evil (Fairy Harcastle, White Witch, Silver Chair witch) or godawful wise... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

What I remember too, when I was little, was reading "The Shabby Lands" and, later, That Hideous Strength and feeling just absolutely baffled and betrayed. I'd really, really liked the Narnia books (since I'd totally ignored... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

She also told me that strained muscles are typically worst on the 2nd/3rd days after the strain. I dunno, this all seems pretty reasonable to me. I did climb a lot of stairs in Seattle. So let's hope it's all good.... [more]
favorited 1 time
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Okay, I have gone to the urgent care clinic at the Large Land Grant University where I work. The doctor said she generally didn't bother with D-Dimers for calf pain - she felt that it should be an ultrasound or nothing. But then she looked at my... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Should I go to the ER? Calf pain after travel but with snowflake!
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Ask MeFi post - Last year

In my experience, people like to talk, they like to kick ideas around - but they're often worried about being dignified, group norms, etc. (I mean, I hate people/parties/fun times/extroversion myself - really hate them - and yet I've been to... [more]
favorited 1 time
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I think it's really difficult for everyone to form and maintain close friendships as adults, and that this is particularly true for men. It's harder to find time, for one thing. But as our lives become more complex (and often harder!) it's... [more]
favorited 5 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

"Ayn Rand was similar to Martin Luther King in the sense that she taught the power of an individual who stands up to popular convention ... in order to advance a cause which is noble or purposeful," Claypool said. "And that... [more]
favorited 12 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Also, you cope with feelings of self-loathing by telling yourself that you do not deserve to feel them. Are you history's greatest monster? No, you're not. Would you tell a friend who got bad information and made a mistake that they should... [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I mean, what would be nice would be if people could work through their anxieties (which I think are kind of about homophobia and toxic ideas of masculinity and femininity) to the point where people could genuinely try this whole pegging... [more]
favorited 6 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I read the Hugo "planning to murder his ex" piece when it was live. This is what I remember: That he decided that he and his girlfriend would both be better off dead - both were depressed and messed up and drunks, if I remember... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Post-gallbladder-surgery problems
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Ask MeFi post - Last year

I am just not sure what kind of "harassment" we're envisioning here. 1. I was harassed by girls in the girls' bathroom when I was a bullied child. 2. If a boy is going into the bathroom claiming that he identifies as a girl... [more]
favorited 12 times
MeFi comment - Last year

It's astonishing how slavery persists and reestablishes itself in new forms. There is a very interesting book, The Overthrow of Colonial Slavery, which is once again available after being out of print forever, which talks about how long slavery... [more]
favorited 25 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I'm not sure you're reading this article as it's intended. Men associate questions with weakness. I don't think this means that men "feel weak" if they are asked questions and you thus need to avoid challenging and... [more]
favorited 14 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Boy, is my face red! And blotchy!
favorited 24 times
Ask MeFi post - Last year

This is because I don't have a huge number of people in my life and my monkey brain is desperate for all of them to think I never make a mistake or put anybody off, so I mistakenly feel that if I can explain or justify the behavior in question... [more]
favorited 6 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I don't care for this "someone harasses me on Twitter and the crowd cheers as I go off to [implicitly] beat him up" business - and I was bullied quite severely in school, have various issues about feeling safe around strangers, etc. I... [more]
favorited 20 times
MeFi comment - Last year

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