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See, I'm not a choice feminist. I don't care, god knows, what other women do with their bodies. (And there's a whole other queer/femme women thing which really isn't being addressed here.) I think we might be addressing different parts of… [more]
favorited 10 times
MeFi comment - Last year

(I also think the "why are former-hipster 40-somethings playing kickball" is an uninteresting derail in the piece. First, because it's a generational lament of people just a bit older than me - folks who are not sure How To Be Old but are… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Have you ever seen what goes in a restaurant dumpster? Just as a point of clarification - among folks I know, restaurant dumpsters are not a big source of food for precisely these reasons. There are particular places where they will, for… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

That maybe this whole thing isn't as cutesy-harmless as it's being made out to be, because it serves to shame, mock, silence and erase real victims of real problems? I think there's an assumption in this whole conversation that feeling good… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

But why? I mean, I can see how it's fun to make fun of the people who you regard as your oppressors, but it seems like the benefits are low, and the risk of collateral damage is high. And just saying "Close the browser and walk away"… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

There's a somewhat more detailed Baffler article from 1999 on the same subject. My first Irish-pub-concept pub was this place in Shanghai that opened sometime in the early nineties, with real Irish workers all compleat. The rich UK expats… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I dunno, I know lots of people who dumpster dive; I've done it myself and eaten food dumpstered by others. You must not imagine it as "gas station sandwiches past their sell-by date"; think of it more as "slightly dinged-up lemons,… [more]
favorited 28 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Although I suppose he means well. I was a bit of a fool about a lot of stuff when I was twenty-two. I mean, I feel kind of bad for him because he's doing a project which is actually going to make it harder for broke people to get food in the long… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Would My Beautiful Laundrette do? The relationship between Johnny and Omar is a key plot point, but not in an "OMG this is a gay relationship" way, and the movie is really about class, race, immigration and Thatcher. [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

This really is a fatuous stance to take. Where do you draw the line? I'm assuming from context that you're Caucasian--does that mean any food created by Caucasians is fine? Better stay away from Spanish food with its Moorish influences then. Or,… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

The thing is, I feel pretty poor. I am not objectively poor like a lot of people are - I have a union pink collar gig and good health insurance - but I make meaningfully below the median and I'm always worried about the grocery budget… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

But actually, I should have said all of this in a more positive "yes, and..." way when I responded to the blog. It isn't helpful to criticize something in language which seems to be saying "don't do this" when we're talking about… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

What I was trying to express is that if a child is about to die, or will pretty inevitably live a terrible life, then one shouldn't necessarily let own's own self examination get in the way of trying to help that child. In other words, potential… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

If you are interested in rich people hijinks in the seventies, I highly recommend The Beautiful Fall: Fashion, Genius and Glorious Excess in 1970s Paris. It's....well, it's a rather loosely structured book which is primarily about the people around… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

If this is some kind of dissertation or final academic project - there's a strong possibility that Positive Group simply has a really different ideology than Negative Group. Positive Group are Lacanians, or reader response theorists, or really… [more]
favorited 39 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I must admit "owning lots of albums and never playing them" is much easier when you have CDs than vinyl, and easier still with all that newfangled mp3 stuff the kids have now. If nothing else, this is a good reminder to me that I should be… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Yes, I would also like to hear how you are doing! I hope that whatever you've been able to / decided to do is an improvement. [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

"Do you really mean that I can take my time on this project, or do you really mean that you need it right now?" I thought that clarifying this was pretty standard office behavior - at least, I frequently see work advice columns… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

The thing is - as I have learned - people start to think that you hate them if you never, ever go to parties with your partner, because even when your partner says that you hate parties they assume that you really just don't like them. They also… [more]
favorited 9 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I wrote that about tofu not because I've encountered critiques specific to tofu but because I've definitely encountered tumblrs - in general tumblrs I like and think are quite right on! - where it's pretty much "stay away from my food, white… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

And here is a thing: I would contend as someone socialized female that women are brought up to feel that attraction is a dangerous and charged way to related to the world, and we are brought up to believe that we are not active agents who… [more]
favorited 70 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Hold up, Code Monkey! Okay, here is the scoop, from someone who is probably a lot like you: don't stop talking to her. Don't refer to the love incident, either to apologize or to expand. Just carry on as normal, and invite her on a capital-D… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I think "have" here might mean more like "believe" or "recognize"? [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

A quick Wikipedia suggests that somewhere around 65% of Iranians are Persian - and I imagine more people in the capitol would be, due to regional differences - but it does seem like it's not nearly as much of a sure bet that someone in Tehran is… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

But if someone's inability to read about sexual violence means they can't read William Burroughs, Dennis Cooper, or Kathy Acker, then they should not pass a American Queer Literature class Wait, what? Seriously? Seriously?… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I don't agree at all. The argument, as far as I can tell, is "what we now call world literature is a very recent phenomenon, itself a product of the end of the Cold War and neoliberalism; there are other things which have been different… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Listening to this without any real preconceptions yay or nay, it has that Glee/High School Musical sound. But it doesn't. I strongly suggest several listens (I mean, if you're the sort of person who does several listens) I… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I can grumble with the best of them about the increasing number of administrators and part-time faculty in higher ed, but, to be honest, it's nice to have administrators dedicated to things like making sure Blackboard works, or that students are… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

As an old person - well, old enough to seem old to you, by which I mean that I'm in my mid-late thirties - I'll let you in on a little secret: young people do not magically become totally sexually unattractive once you're out of your twenties. Nor… [more]
favorited 46 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

At this point in my life I don't believe that it's ethical for me to approach a woman in real life for basically any reason, because the likelihood that she will feel annoyed/harassed/threatened by me is so high and can't be reconciled with the… [more]
favorited 6 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

And seriously - one way of being a good queer ambassador is not taking a lot of shit. There's a big difference between being friendly and approachable and willing to do a certain amount of 101 and putting up with fear and discomfort due to… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Something that might be useful if any Western mefites are reading this - if a mod can post approximately where you are, there might be someone who would be able to give you a ride if you needed it - hopefully you won't, but it doesn't hurt to have a… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I lived in Beijing in 2001-2002 and it was nothing like this. At this time of year, it was all bright blue sky and winter wind, and even at other times, I never noticed anything really bad. There was certainly pollution - but it was much better than… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I haven't watched this yet - it's on my List - but this passage? Does not make me want to watch it (I still will, I swear). Prison is just like college, (except with bars and guards and no freedom) and it's a learning experience that everyone… [more]
favorited 60 times
MeFi comment - Last year

What are your long-term expectations here? Is this a guy who would be a great stay-at-home dad while you make a high salary, for instance? Is he a guy who could get motivated to run a household? I have a relative who has a mediocre work history -… [more]
favorited 40 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Have you thought of getting two bags? I mean, I carry a mid-sized "grown up" messenger bag (this one, although I got mine used on eBay) and while I have certainly gone on long walks carrying it, I would not care to hike with… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

When I was your age I was just like you, including the worries. Right now, fifteen years on, I am able to be more emotionally present, spontaneously grateful, caring, etc, although I still need lots and lots of alone time. Here is the thing:… [more]
favorited 27 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

IME, really bad in-group culture and bullying is more common in the humanities, especially the snob humanities - comp lit, cultural studies, philosophy. I've observed several STEM programs in my work capacity, and while sometimes mentors/PIs can be… [more]
favorited 11 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Teaching him the lesson of "if you earn your own money it will just be taken from you later" might not be what you want to go for right now. This is what bugs me - if you take money the kid has already earned, you give the… [more]
favorited 39 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

One thing I learned from housing a friend who was in a situation similar to yours - in general, most people who have stable jobs and stable lives do not understand how hard it is to pull yourself up from disaster. They are not able to… [more]
favorited 81 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

One of the officers threatened Shelly with prison—a particularly terrifying prospect for a transgender woman, who would be sent to a male facility—and then offered her a way out: she could set up her dealer, Qasim Raqib, and walk free that same… [more]
favorited 3 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Maybe I should just start treating women like shit, since they seem to enjoy it so much? No. You need to meet more self-actualized women, basically. The women who "enjoy" being coerced (really coerced, not your basic… [more]
favorited 43 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I add that, as a broad generality, the "famous person cheats on partner and leaves them for someone younger" thing is not something that women generally do. I view this as more a function of patriarchy than anything else, but lord… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Do not move home. Your mother and sister have poor job prospects where they are; yours will also almost certainly be lousy. Your mother and sister are, to a degree, responsible for taking care of themselves. You cannot step in and do daily… [more]
favorited 33 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I'd always put it down to Harry Potter, Dr. Who and BBC Sherlock - I've noticed this same uptick in semi-Britishisms myself. My theory has been that US fandom started using them fairly heavily and it spread from there. [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Actually, one of the reasons that social services in the US are so much shittier than they are in Europe is precisely that they are only for/used by the most marginalized. My biggest hope for Obamacare/Medicaid expansion is that as middle… [more]
favorited 39 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

(I just want to pop back in and say, OP, that it's perfectly okay to work only the hours that you're paid for, especially in a field where there's no advancement, bonuses or anything much to be gained by putting in extra time, and doubly so in a job… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I mean, the voice of what generation? Who? People I knew who listened really seriously to Nirvana: 1. White alterna-suburbanites for whom Nirvana was the first non-radio-pop they could really access. (How I first heard Nevermind, in… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I'm just mainly concerned about social dynamics -- in every situation with multiple roommates there's always one person who picks out a scapegoat and another person who becomes that scapegoat. I can see why this might worry you. I don't… [more]
favorited 5 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Indeed, let's. Because revenge violence is very much about gender and the performance of it, and I would argue also about race and the intersections thereof. The people who feel free to dish out stalking and violence tend not to be socially… [more]
favorited 13 times
MeFi comment - Last year

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