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Activity from Frowner

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O lol. And his awful house, too, with the faux-tiques and the cheap para-antiques. He would have been better off with good, honest modern styles in decent materials rather than the bits and bobs he has. And the occasional posts about going... [more]
favorited 6 times
MeFi comment - Last year

The thing is, sometimes I felt sorry for him because he'd have a few really lovely things - a nice pair of belgian shoes, I'd love a pair of belgian shoes - and he'd put everything together so badly, in such a jumble. Again, back before I saw... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I was kidding about the horse, and I am good with Nightingale (i do have a problem with the ECLA and the episcopals canonizing MLK jr, but that's another point), but this is so ahistorical: Bacchus wasn't gay for one example; Herschel and Frank as... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

You will never find a perfect girl, but you'll probably find a girl whose imperfections are appealing to you. That's the key. Relationships are like apartments - there is no perfect apartment, but for some people lack of closet space (so to speak)... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

It feels like they have all the leverage and advantage and potential to hurt me if they wanted. It's especially painful that i am having trouble finding a christian friend who is willing to share regarding her christian walk. with my... [more]
favorited 9 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Being visibly "checked out" does not always mean what you think it means, either - I've noticed that since I cut my hair and started dressing in a dapper, sort of effeminate-butch manner I've started to get lots of checking-out-like... [more]
favorited 8 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Clear and patient explanations never have any success, because then you're accused of being patronizing and condescending, or you're just ignored by people who think they know better no matter what, or you're dismissed simply due to the fact that... [more]
favorited 15 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Oh god that was creepy. It grew creepier as it went along. Perhaps I have not read enough of This Kind Of Thing for its effect to wear off. But yes, that was creepy! I kept picturing it written by a monstrous crocodile with opposable thumbs.... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

( I have a lot of discomfort with the "health at any size" movement, because it seems pretty obvious to me that some sizes are inherently less healthy. But I have come to the realization (in part through reading these threads on MeFi)... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I love that soap - it is my one fancy beauty product. If you're going to an independent co-op (ie, not some kind of Whole Paycheck/Wild Oats place) ask them if you can order a case through them. My old co-op used to order cases of stuff for... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

And honestly, you have a gift to offer radicals of a younger generation. As poisonous as the anti-communist rhetoric was in the US during the Cold War, people grew up with some knowledge of how bad mass political violence was. I think the younger... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Samuel Delany's novels The Mad Man and Through The Valley Of The Nest of Spiders as well as his memoir Times Square Red, Times Square Blue are probably not precisely what you're looking for, but they have porn and romance and are... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Also, if you would like to read a depressing novel with what you might call a strongly erotic atmosphere, you could do worse than read Alan Hollinghurst's The Swimming Pool Library. It's a simply tremendous book - a really morally... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Recommendations for cheap, lightweight rain jacket-y thing for biking
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Ask MeFi post - Last year

In general, can you seek out other introverts? I have had ten-gazillion housemates in my life, and I love living with friendly introverts and tend to put this in my housemates-wanted flyers. Can you seek out graduate students in intensive... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

The worst outcome is that he doesn't want to and doesn't respond; you save everyone's face by going to the next lesson and not alluding to the whole thing. You acted completely appropriately. Remember that even if he doesn't... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

You know what? I buy a lot of stuff on eBay, and "I really, really like this thing which is totally me, so please sell it to me instead of keeping it" is just not very persuasive. The only way I would sell something that I had... [more]
favorited 17 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Oh, also - IME, many men do twirly chivalrous nonsense only to women they consider attractive, or much more emphatically to women they consider attractive. This can end up tipping over into really unpleasant stuff about age, body size, gender... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Doesn't discrimination have to create a hostile environment or otherwise cause harm? Frankly it drives me up the fucking wall when some dude does all that "no after you because you are a lady, and I will wait here until you accept that... [more]
favorited 21 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I swear up and down that this will have blown over in three months if you keep your cool. I have seen genuinely dreadful things blow over, and this is nothing. Here is what I would do: communicate with her once more to apologize, reiterating that... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

This. Whenever I come to a complete stop at 4-way stops it seems to make car drivers crazy. They'll either try to go right after the car in front of them for whom I had waited, making me wait far longer than I should have to, or they'll start... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Treat bicyclists like any other operator of a vehicle - licenses, inspections, registration plates, vehicle taxes, fines, insurance, etc. I know we've had this conversation before, but the more you put in the way of bicycling - the more you... [more]
favorited 26 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Why is it such a burden to talk about your ethnic heritage? Based on my experience as a sort of all purpose queer - trans - gender-non-conforming person who often has to Explain It All For You, I bet a lot of it is just that it gets... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

And a genuinely strange video, Bring Me Edelweiss, which contrary to what its name might suggest was a club hit. This has many, many bad things from eighties videos (as in "The Safety Dance", a little person in the video because... [more]
favorited 5 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

This is totally why I have become very, very careful to ask everyone "where did you go to school?" or "did you grow up in [city where thing is taking place]?" because even "where did you grow up?" can sound like you're... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Actually, it just occurs to me how much the late eighties hair metal stuff is reworked/dequeered New Romantic, and how much New Romantic is basically the result of gay artistic heroes like Jarman.... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

They try really, really hard not to do anything ironically, they actually fetishise earnestness in a sort of sad, longing-for-innocence kind of way Note to people younger than about 35: Back in the day - by which I mean my day, the... [more]
favorited 40 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Police misconduct boards around here (Minneapolis) are very weak - they have very few powers to get information from the police, their work is heavily political and they have no meaningful power to sanction. Ours was actually dissolved for a while,... [more]
favorited 15 times
MeFi comment - Last year

You know, I had this funny thought. Okay, I was reading some Samuel Delany short stories from the sixties - "Time Considered As A Helix of Semi-Precious Stones" and "Corona" in particular. I had also been looking at a couple... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

That is, emphasize that a social setting is where all this gender stuff belongs, because people can choose environments where their gender is treated in a way that is comfortable for them; treating work as if it is social is not... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I continued to think about this and it occurred to me that you might want to consider personality types. I think we all tend to fall into the "everyone can do everything really, really well if they are just supported correctly" mindset.... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I think fine-tuning just what kind of "improvements" you want might be helpful, and who you want them from. The secretaries could probably tell you how to improve the reimbursement process, for example - speaking as a secretary - and might... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Oh, and Salman Rushdie's Haroun and the Sea of Stories! [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I'd love to be invited, but I'd hate to go . . . kinda sums up my life actually. One of the happiest moments of my life was when I realized that I had a standing invite to [Something Really Rather Exciting And Outre] and instead of going to... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Anything from The Panic Is On, by Anne Hills, particularly the title track, which is about the Great Depression. ("What this country's coming to/I sure would like to know;/If we don't do something by and by/The rich will live and the... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Women are brought up to clean. Women - and I was brought up as a woman - tend to be taught more about how to clean things, and we see our mothers and grandmothers doing much of the work, being expected to do much of the work, and... [more]
favorited 22 times
MeFi comment - Last year

You know, I don't actually have a real problem with women rating men by whatever standards they like. Warning labels are not particularly monstrous, despite all this drummed-up outrage. See, I do have a problem with this, and I am... [more]
favorited 26 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Dear anyone upset about the idea of being photographed through the window of your home: close your blinds. Where does this stop, though? Do I need to close my curtains during the day (I don't have blinds per se) because someone with a... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I don't know what you think you're doing, but it is not possible to "stop fully" without a total loss of momentum. This is why it is helpful for folks to cycle a bit. I used to drive every day for years, so I have a fair idea of... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Oh, hey, you should also read Lark Rise To Candleford, a favorite of my grandmother and now one of mine. It's a set of semi-autobiographical novels by a woman who grew up right at the end of the 19th century mostly in an extremely rural hamlet in... [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Do a lot of Australians travel abroad for work? I've met tons and tons of Australians working in Asia, and it seemed like a much more casual thing than it was for me (I too was working in Asia.) Like, on one job, I met a number of Australians who... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

And I don't like Smart Meters because I think when someone is turning off the electricity in the winter for a family with 3 young children, they should have to do it to the family's face instead of from a cozy office hundreds of miles away.... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

In my experience, there are always people who want to protect and help the charismatic and highly competent - that whole "wounded hero" thing, which perhaps is less of a thing for women, but still seems to exist. You may find it useful... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Huh. Tumblr as I know it is about varying forms of social and racial justice and the accompanying drama, hatred, "that is not your image to reblog, culturally appropriative person!" stuff, etc etc. I'd say I have learned more from... [more]
favorited 13 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Right, but for some of us, we've had to deal with intrusive and unwanted behavior all our lives, so this isn't really groundbreaking, thought-provoking art so much as it is just another entitled asshole. This. I am gender non-conforming... [more]
favorited 23 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Let me ask -- if the context of the photos were that they were taken in the street, rather than through a window, and otherwise they were identical in every single way, including the lack of consent, would they still be problematic? Would they... [more]
favorited 23 times
MeFi comment - Last year

A hipster is a single or partnered white person with disposable income who came from a lower middle class or greater familial circumstance, who is not in immediate survival mode and has no belief or fear of ever having to be in survival mode.... [more]
favorited 9 times
MeFi comment - Last year

it's a dangerous world out there, filled with terrorism, outsourcing, unemployment, student debt, and for God's sake don't get sick. It's a winner-take-all game, and dissent will not be tolerated, unless it's in the sandbox of identity politics,... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

And where does it stop? My bathroom window is on the second floor and out of obvious lines of sight - but what if my neighbor decided to put up a ladder in the middle of his backyard and sit on it with a telephoto lens? Could he then publish the... [more]
favorited 9 times
MeFi comment - Last year

And hey, if I have no expectation of privacy in my home, that means that someone with a telephoto lens could lurk around and wait until he spotted me, like, trying on a pair of pants or getting out of the shower or something and publish it, right?... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

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