Activity from Frowner

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I am not Asian, nor was I pushed toward a high-paying career. I was, however, pushed very hard toward a career and way of life that were absolutely unsuitable, and like you I grew up with a very strong family culture of "this is worthwhile and... [more]
favorited 5 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Seriously, people, did you know that Derek Jarman made music videos? I mean, Jubilee Derek Jarman, CaraveggioDerek Jarman, revolutionary queer artist Jarman, that Derek Jarman. They range from quite, quite famous (Dancehall Days)... [more]
favorited 10 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I'm going to disagree with everyone! You're three people living in a small apartment - that can send anyone up the wall. As a result of the small apartment, you don't have very much privacy/alone time. If you're at all like me, this sort of... [more]
favorited 13 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year


The article points to some interesting stuff. I think, though, that painting these movies as a response to an entitled generation is pretty silly (and the essay does skew towards blaming a bunch of little kids). If anything, I notice... [more]
favorited 16 times
MeFi comment - Last year

It sounds like the biggest problem here is that the paying-for-lunch system is bad. Especially because there's a line in there about how some students who qualify for free or reduced cost lunches are not enrolled in the program for whatever reason.... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I get the sense that there's some underlying stuff happening here: There are already-existing splits among GLBT people along lines of race and gender expression; white people and masculine-presenting people, especially white men, not only get... [more]
favorited 6 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I guess I just don't understand the market for $300 shoes (even used). If you're walking around on sidewalks at all, aren't you going to scuff them and get them ruined in about a week? I guess boots make sense, because they're expected to wear,... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

(Not to quibble in the comments and assuming that the suggestion is not trollery, but the Dead Kennedys' "I Fought the Law" - at least the version I have - is about the assassination of Harvey Milk and is not, IMO, a positive song. Come to... [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I'm not sure where the award-winning Japanese pizza chefs cook, but all the pizza I had in Japan was not great. Corn, seaweed, and a sausage that looks like hot dogs were not uncommon toppings. And the cheese...the cheese was wrong so often. Never... [more]
favorited 1 time
MeFi comment - Last year

Go back to HR and tell them that you cannot wait three weeks to be paid. I mean, tell them nicely - but no reputable company will let a new young hire wait three more weeks for a check. Have you told your supervisor or your mentor/training person... [more]
favorited 32 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

As a “lady adventurer,” a female traveler, I have never had that particular privilege. I am an intruder; I am a stranger; I am a woman in public spaces – tea houses, street corners – often deemed the exclusive provenance of men. I do not have the... [more]
favorited 51 times
MeFi comment - Last year

And yet, where's the compensation for twenty years? Where's the punishment for the cops? It is wonderful that he's exonerated, but people acted with malice in order to convict him and they took two decades of his life, permanently altered his... [more]
favorited 12 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Cooking stuff. Over the years I have bought (on sale admittedly) three really nice knives, a Le Creuset stock pot (ding and dent at Filene's, which is a great place to get them), a couple of other nice pans and implements, and I've had them all... [more]
favorited 4 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Oh, actually - that's a thought...why not earmark X percentage of it for donations? I find that I'm always wanting to kick in a little money for all kinds of things (Black Girls Code, for example; someone who is fighting deportation; kickstarters... [more]
favorited 4 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Are you, by chance, a graduate student? Or maybe the UK is just meaner than here, because that "your opinions are trite" thing sounds like comp lit graduate student bullshit. So my immediate thoughts: what is your field? Is it one with... [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

When someone who's had a set of awful experiences writes about them, I am always surprised by how much hostility this provokes, how much denial. Here's something I have learned: You do not have to identify with the oppressor. All you need to do... [more]
favorited 73 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Surely there has to be some other way to deal with these things than just leaving the families to raise the money. That seems really wrong to me - private citizens should not be helpless and forced to negotiate as individuals with kidnappers. I mean,... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I mean, of course people have affairs, and relationships are troubled and children cause stress, and I imagine that if we all knew the truth we'd realize that there was a lot more cheating going on than we thought. And of course monogamy is difficult... [more]
favorited 33 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Christ, what an asshole. I mean, seriously, to write (metaphorically) to the wife, "he didn't break up with me because he loves you, he broke up with me because he didn't want to hurt me [so suck it, you deluded b****]". And... [more]
favorited 37 times
MeFi comment - Last year

It may also be that HR lady does not want to admit to people up the ladder that she didn't submit your card - there's probably a small fee to the company (like $20) associated with a rushed check. This isn't an incredibly uncommon situation - I've... [more]
favorited 10 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

'Round here, Carhartts are what the smelly kind of slightly older green anarchist is wearing out, since they were trendy up through a few years ago and they never really die - inasumuch as anything is trendy when worn by green anarchists. I mean,... [more]
favorited 7 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Hey there! I can answer this as someone who is rising forty and has a bunch of twenty-something friends whose parties I occasionally attend. I could, if I wished, spend many nights of the week partying and drinking pretty hard, and probably some... [more]
favorited 21 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Also I can't tell if you are in Chicago now rather than Minnesota, but if you are, there are various people here who can make some suggestions about food and stuff in Chicago too. I know for a fact that there are some food distribution projects... [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

That's a huge cop out. I mean by all means cash your paycheck but you're working for a big exploitative business; don't make excuses for yourself. Some day you're going to have to choose between your paycheck and solidarity with someone getting... [more]
favorited 11 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Here is a thing: I would not want to kiss a guy who "found most people boring" and rationalized his inability to tell people apart as "I am not interested enough to bother", the way you describe yourself doing in your other... [more]
favorited 15 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I was once at a labor event back when all this Syria stuff started and a derailing debate broke out about whether US intervention ever does more good than harm. Someone raised their hand and asked us whether our debate would actually make any... [more]
favorited 45 times
MeFi comment - Last year

(And let's not forget that US intervention has been fucked up, destructive and self-interested pretty much always, and that at least since Haiti, it's been conducted under the guise of liberal humanism but that hasn't stopped it being fucked... [more]
favorited 22 times
MeFi comment - Last year

And this suggests to me the death knell of dapper queer fashion. I mean, the last one with the suspenders? That's, like, what every masculine-spectrum young queer woman wears out on the town, right down to the floppy haircut. Oh well, I never got... [more]
favorited 2 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Just take money from elsewhere in the budget, like administrator salaries or new construction. New construction, sadly, often comes from earmarked funds - the legislature, a foundation, alumni, the city, corporate funders - which can't be... [more]
favorited 7 times
MeFi comment - Last year

What kind of definitive proof is there at all that this isn't a cleverly constructed media persona by someone whose been raised since birth with the toolset to game the system and get lots of media attention? She's literally getting completely top... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

As far as STEM post-docs and grad students being conservative - as I understand it, they were the ones who were strongly against a grad student union here and as a result, two campaigns failed. Now, that's a bigger issue - at least here, they're... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

If I recall my eighties and early nineties correctly, Madonna's sex photo book was hugely controversial both amongst feminists and [much more so] in the broader culture. And has everyone forgotten the whole late eighties/nineties culture war thing... [more]
favorited 13 times
MeFi comment - Last year

To further clarify: I don't think it's some kind of failure of radicalism to say if there's declining resources, the problem of declining resources is not going to be solved by arguing that everyone should get tinier and tinier but equal slices of... [more]
favorited 7 times
MeFi comment - Last year

And the simple fact is that if you're trying to get Billionaire X to give the campus a gaudy gift you're going to get a lot further if you can put them in the room with Famous Important Person Y rather than with Super Competent but Basically... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

(How does one go about choosing their name once they have decided to live as the gender that they identify as? What kind of factors go into a choice like that? I've seen a few different models (the opposite-gendered version of their birth name,... [more]
favorited 10 times
MeFi comment - Last year

You mean the white minstrelry of Cyrus' act? Yeah, I'm with you. Yes, exactly - that having an opinion about that is a political thing, and it's not inconsequential, and the idea that it's embarrassing or trivial or boring is... [more]
favorited 8 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Except people's at lives are at stake in Syria, and no one dies when Cyrus twerks. Except that - as far as I can tell - there isn't a fucking thing we can do about Syria. You might as well have an opinion about twerking instead,... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

In Timmi Duchamp's interesting Marq'ssan series*, the proles of the future live on tube food, which is basically this in different flavors with enough vegetables, fruit or cheese mixed in to give it a bit of texture. Honestly, I'd expect to see at... [more]
favorited 1 time
MeFi comment - Last year

My gut response would be "this place will be full of overpriced hipster crap and the staff will be obnoxious" because my first assumption would be "this is run by the kind of person who thinks it's cool to wear native regalia to music... [more]
favorited 15 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

(I've had so many, many bikes stolen, ranging from fairly decent to thrift shop. I had a bike that had two flat tires and destroyed wheels and was a really, really cheap bike to begin withstolen off my glassed in front porch. (Admittedly, it... [more]
favorited 6 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Unless "there's nothing anti-human about technology" was supposed to be just restating the tautology that things made by humans are human things, with all the positives and negatives. I think the idea here is to respond to,... [more]
favorited 8 times
MeFi comment - Last year

This sounds really pretty disturbing! If there was some other mitigating factor (like, this is his first long-term adult relationship; or if the topic was really upsetting for him for some reason; or if there's some kind of unpleasant... [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Has it been terribly rude for me to tell people that their new haircut looked nice, or that they made a funny joke? Is there some deeper difference I'm missing here, or is it just that "exotic" is a term that's now being absorbed into... [more]
favorited 50 times
MeFi comment - Last year


Thanks, everyone! Further information: it is the shifters that are being replaced - one person suggested that they could clean them out as described above and then another said no, they needed to be replaced. I can stop in to another shop for a... [more]
favorited 1 time
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

So I went to a Taylor Swift concert and was transformed. So I went to a One Direction concert and was transformed. So I went to a Phish concert and was transformed. So I went to an Insane Clown Posse concert and was transformed. So I went to... [more]
favorited 26 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Do you have other reasons to believe that he is "emotionally unavailable" or that his family doesn't want to get to know you? Has he led you to believe that this is already a serious relationship but is still reluctant to introduce... [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

What you describe sounds less like crushes to me and more like fixating on unattainable fantasies that reinforce your feelings of worthlessness (depression) and distract you from potential real-world human connection/intimacy (anxiety).... [more]
favorited 38 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I add, people's family norms with strangers are really different. My family? We are introverts. Inviting a newish date to make a long drive and a long visit with the family would not be something we'd do, not out of any sinister motive but... [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

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