Activity from Frowner

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I love several of my exes, and might conceivably tell them so on an important occasion. However, I love them in a particular post-relationship way based on our past intimacy. It's great, in fact, to be able to love someone in that almost... [more]
favorited 24 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I am not certain that unsourced suspicions about social services, and a sense that the people who work at them shouldn't get paid for their work, helps the homeless either. I can only offer the critique in The Revolution Will Not Be... [more]
favorited 4 times
MeFi comment - Last year

(I add that I was "aggressively panhandled" by a drunk and broken-toothed guy a couple of years ago and it was scary. I totally, totally believe it happens. And honestly, I get tired of the "and I just need ten dollars to get... [more]
favorited 3 times
MeFi comment - Last year

When they left they go into an almost new mini-van. I have problems with things like that. You can't - you really can't - judge how poor people are by their immediately obvious possessions. There was an article linked here not long ago... [more]
favorited 18 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Some people are just private and remote; some people need a LOT of time to build trust; some people's "trust" doesn't look like other people's. (I have a friend who trusts me a lot - as I've seen over many years - but that trust isn't... [more]
favorited 10 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

(Just a comment - I don't think "private person" and "introvert" are always the same thing. I know people who are very introverted but very open with close friends, and I myself am actually a bit extroverted but rather private... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I like that all reports on Assange are so 100% sure that this is a CIA fit up that the word rape is never mentioned. I don't think that's it, precisely. I think it's that several things are true in the US public mind: 1. We don't really... [more]
favorited 13 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I'm not really sure how picking the normal, socially-rewarded option - the option that does not get you hostility and mockery and make every job interview an even more vexed situation (even if you're wearing pants, ankle slippage is always a... [more]
favorited 5 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Oops.... and I suggested we go and see the show. Whilst this was generally considered a good idea I then was cautioned about the kind of topics and language I might expect 'because you don't talk about that kind of stuff'. I was going to... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

No, this is a terrible, terrible idea. (I have some expertise in research funding) Here's why: 1. It will add an INSANE amount to university research expenses - that means either that a $250,000 NIH grant will suddenly be $150,000 for the... [more]
favorited 13 times
MeFi comment - Last year

yeah? How about if target gave your neighbor 10% off, because he's wealthier and more likely to be a lucrative customer? Is that still cool? I feel like we all really, really need to internalize how contemporary capitalism/government/legal... [more]
favorited 24 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I thought about this a lot more on my way to work and decided to make another comment. 1. Before you do anything think very carefully about what you want the outcome to be versus what's likely to happen. At best, you're going to shame the... [more]
favorited 19 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

(A momentary derail: Sometimes I read blogs by POC and they are upsetting to read. I wanted to clarify that the upset that I might feel in that situation is nowhere near how upsetting it is when some poor kid gets shot by the cops,... [more]
favorited 6 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Russian Ark is awesome - I've watched it twice and it's really definitely a big-screen film. I assumed that there were allusions that I could not get, but the feel and sweep of the film is amazing. I am not a skilled film person, so my opinions... [more]
favorited 3 times
MeFi comment - Last year

What do you mean, "contemporary"? That's the way it's always worked. That statement is no more true of twenty-first-century America as it is of fifth-millennium BC Mesopotamia. Doesn't have anything to do with capitalism. Or, if it does,... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

To be fair, I (and I'm pretty sure elizardbits, too) was saying that the lulz come from vegetarians who say that they're so much more ethical and healthier because they don't eat meat when actually they're junk food fiends No, people -... [more]
favorited 7 times
MeFi comment - Last year

This interview with Dongpin Han, a historian who grew up in rural China during the cultural revolution, discussing his book, The Unknown Cultural Revolution: Life and Change in a Chinese Village was interesting, and there's a transcript of an... [more]
favorited 3 times
MeFi comment - Last year

The other thing I want to add - I have a relative whose health isn't good and who can't wear anything but elastic waisted pants. She usually wears denim ones because they're sturdy and warm. I'm okay with saying "fitted jeans are more... [more]
favorited 15 times
MeFi comment - Last year

A boy who insists on wearing a skirt seems to be asserting the importance of gender norms, not eroding them. See, this risks slipping over into "but trans women are just reinscribing teh patriarchy" reasoning - where when someone... [more]
favorited 15 times
MeFi comment - Last year

"See, what we need is a couple of really big, scary, near-invincible flying narcotic cyborg wildebeest. Then the whole city will come together - black, white, man, woman, sentient orchids, severed demon ninja feet, badger paralegals - against... [more]
favorited 9 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I don't see how it's possible to read his deep investment in appearing "girl-like" as something that is not "based on some kind of Deep Truth About Gender." At least, based in some kind of Deep Truth about his perception of his... [more]
favorited 7 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I've just had a thought: when I took child development classes as part of an abortive attempt at teacher-training, we were told pretty clearly that around age 3 kids "naturally" developed a lot of anxiety about which gender they were and... [more]
favorited 7 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Didn't people make noises like this in the seventies when d'Estaing was elected? And few of them fled. The people who are actually willing to up stakes and leave France, its culture, the amenities available to the wealthy, its education system and... [more]
favorited 13 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I've never heard any meat-eater (except for myself, because I'm a terrible, hateful person who talks about how delicious piggies are to anyone who will listen to me and how they are wrong for not eating the delicious piggies) proselytise... [more]
favorited 13 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I swear to you that if you continue to beat yourself about about this, you'll be looking back when you're older and saying you wasted your youth. I've never been thin, I've always had stretch marks, and a circulatory condition has left with with... [more]
favorited 4 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

IME, mice seem to smell a cat and come in less frequently - we went from having a very mousey house and no cat to a couple of mice a year. Our cat is a very show-offy hunter who likes to bring me the mice to see before she kills them, so I'm pretty... [more]
favorited 1 time
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

(Also, most of the kids I know mostly wear hand-me-downs or thrift store stuff or presents - it's actually cheaper to be able to use a wider variety of hand-me-downs rather than a gender-restricted sort. You don't need "two... [more]
favorited 1 time
MeFi comment - Last year

You should read some queer femme tumblrs! I am a butch queer person of indeterminate gender who isn't really attracted to femme women and reading a lot of those totally changed my feelings about bodies and femme presentation. Sadly, I... [more]
favorited 27 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

And dentists, come to think of it! You could improve the lives of MANY homeless people by staffing a free, full-service dental clinic....but of course, if we started giving free and desperately needed care to homeless people, it would be... [more]
favorited 4 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I'm torn because while I feel homeless people probably have the right to beg, makes signs, loiter downtown etc., it really kills urban centers. Directly or indirectly the homeless have been used to justify the nonexistence of benches, closure of... [more]
favorited 28 times
MeFi comment - Last year

The thing is, the state/the collective has to take the burden off the individual in terms of being exhausted and frightened by panhandlers - and I do believe that it can be exhausting and I know it can be frightening. What happens now is that... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I am uneasy with the "give money to social services, not the homeless" line, for several reasons: first, because I suspect that it results in less giving, because it's easy to think "oh, I will give at X point and not now to... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

In the case of "fairest of them all the word fair means beautiful or handsome. It doesn't refer to coloring at all. Here is an article from The Beheld about the origins of "fair" - apparently it originally meant... [more]
favorited 4 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

On women and degrees: (Background comment - all of this "school isn't friendly for boys because boys are inherently THING" is pretty silly - girls were "inherently" unfit for education for quite a while because their wombs... [more]
favorited 23 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Things have changed, I find men that insist on making me wait for them to run to the door first or make a big show of holding the door when it was really my turn, to be rude. Just treat people as people, not genders, and do the act/accept the act... [more]
favorited 6 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

"Shyster", right? I do not want to google it at work, but IIRC it's either actually anti-semitic or anti-semitic as used by gentiles. [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

One thing I always notice in these threads - the way it's so easy to identify yourself with your suffering, or to identify with your abuser/the system that abused you. This is something I have struggled with a lot myself in terms of... [more]
favorited 95 times
MeFi comment - Last year

No seriously, if you honestly think that it's only us modern capitalist industrial folks who are judgy towards our elders/youngers, you really need to read more. No, no, there's actually some pretty good research on the concept of... [more]
favorited 10 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I just want to pop back in to say that I don't really worry about 'being attractive' any more. Partly because I'm older and 'being attractive' in your late thirties is different than in your twenties, partly because I'm a fat butch... [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

(A digression in case you are worrying about age and marriage instead of just age and still-not-being-grown-up: the issue isn't when most American women marry, it's when people in your social circle, people of your general background and... [more]
favorited 1 time
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

The Anaheim city government has been surprisingly responsive to the people here. Rather than circling the wagons and undertaking an "internal investigation", the mayor has reached out to the FBI and US Attorney's office to launch an... [more]
favorited 31 times
MeFi comment - Last year

My experience of being young and sorta plain* and female was this: guys who hit on me on the street thought I was easy. They were offering to "buy me a drink" in the hope that I would go to a bar with them and then have sex. This was... [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I am just so tired of people doing this "you and your sad pathetic life, you don't know what you're missing because..... on morally insignificant choices. Okay, in looking back mere moments later that was a really mean way to say... [more]
favorited 1 time
MeFi comment - Last year

At the same time, this would never be okay if a white person did the same thing. No matter how many black people ever mistreated a white person during the course of his life, he would never, never, be okay saying something like that.... [more]
favorited 9 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I think that those of us who are white Americans in this thread have the tricky issue of, well, the whole thing is happening in Japan....and it's not like there isn't a great deal of racial overdetermination in our understanding... [more]
favorited 4 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I think it's worth looking at the comments at Clutch - it's a site with some fairly sophisticated analysis of style and race, and IMwhiteO the commentariat is also pretty sophisticated. Folks' feelings seem to be complicated, a lot more complicated... [more]
favorited 7 times
MeFi comment - Last year

So, is internalized racism not a thing now? You don't think that French-North African kids might be responding cheekily to the racism they receive from mainstream French culture and that the mode of resistance they choose (adoption of imported,... [more]
favorited 2 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Tofu and breast cancer: Here is a PubMed link to one of the studies I've seen. I've seen a bunch of other similar ones but don't have time to google around for them - this one is pretty characteristic. Here is a crappy Dr. Weil link that... [more]
favorited 5 times
MeFi comment - Last year

OK, so I don't want to make this a thing or keep talking about it because it makes everyone feel bad, but I just want to be clear that you are responding to the one thing I specifically said was not the thing I was talking about. That is all.... [more]
favorited 1 time
MeFi comment - Last year

There is a 20 point gap in breastfeeding rates between mothers with a High School Diploma or less and mothers with an Undergraduate degree. There is a 30 point in between mothers 30+ and 20 years of age. African-Americans breastfeed at a... [more]
favorited 24 times
MeFi comment - Last year

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