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Early Margaret Drabble - Jerusalem the Golden, The Middle Ground and The Radiant Way are my favorites, partly for the portraits they give of the UK in the seventies and eighties, partly for their portrayal of a certain kind of... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Graceland has surpassed form and virtuosity to become a touchstone, a thing we go to when we need to be reminded of who we are, where we come from, what we’re about, the things we have in common. In the title song, the place of Graceland is never... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Very often people simply don't put together the whole "if I work extra hours for free to get my work done, sure it makes me look good in the short term but it's actually screwing everyone over, including me, in the long term" thing. It... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Okay, since this seems like the place for recommending a very, very scary story....."White",, a novella by Tim Lebbon, is probably the scariest thing I've ever read. Although I'd also say that certain parts of The Birth of the People's... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I came in here to say a lot of what Frowner already said, so I'll say something else. Although actually I look at what I wrote and wish I had not been so bitey, partly because I once made a joke in ignorance about Nietzsche (as who has... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

postmodernism is a scam to funnel money from the productive classes to the parasitical academy Adorno isn't a postmodernist. He would have been appalled - appalled! - by the suggestion, just as he was appalled by the swinging sixties... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I don't think this is a good idea. Based on reading your previous questions, I suspect that if you look inside yourself and really reflect, you can feel the difference between "this is something I don't want to do but really should... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

he's a particularly hardcore Zionist who feels no sympathy for the teenagers killed by Anders Breivik, because he thinks they'd have just become pro-Islamist agitators Honestly, would you accept this line of reasoning from any other... [more]
favorited 14 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

"Every morning when I awake I ask myself whether I should write or blow up a dam." Oh, hiLARious. No, Derrick Jensen does not have anger management issues - what he has is a pretty cushy position as a white, straight,... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Also, people can be interested in more than one person at a time. And also, the Person Who Asks You Out tends to trump the Remote Crush Who Isn't Interested Even If You're Texting Them A Lot - the mere act of asking someone out tends to... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I've never understood why some people can't get past it. I don't mean to be insensitive, I just don't get it. Here are some suggestions: 1. Their bullying was worse than what you experienced. 2. Their bullying was physical as well,... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Do your cats run around and play a lot after eating? Our adorable, perfect cat throws up if she eats too fast and/or plays right after eating. When she's having episodes of vomiting, I feed her smaller meals - there was a phase where we had four... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

why do I have strains of Pulp going through my head? "you could call your dad and he'd stop it all" I don't know, since this dude doesn't seem to have contact with his family. Admittedly, a young, handsome white guy without... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

One thing that I haven't seen in discussion about this - that it's a bit weird that the major discussants of something that happens to and is generally perpetrated by African women living in African should be Swedes living in Sweden, most of whom are... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

It occurs to me that Christmas is rather fraught - a lot of weight placed on gifts, a lot of gifts to buy, a lot of stress. While it would have been awesome if he'd gotten you the perfect presents - and I argue that in some ways gifts early in a... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I mean, really they weren't "swinging sixties" - they were student radicals. But they were pretty swinging compared to dear, dear Teddy. [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I actually have some related knowledge (and I too am at a large midwestern research institution, know what a P01 is, etc etc). Our senior person is a member of NCURA; someone else who is up-and-coming is a member of SRA. I would suggest joining,... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Here is the thing: you are insecure about your ability to be an adult, because you are still getting used to being successful at it. (And good job, by the way - I struggle with some of the same type of things in terms of upbringing and lack of... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

This is actually how it worked in the early days of flight. Then the airlines realized that they'd get more customers if they didn't force people to confront their weight every time they flew. This is one of those ideas that appeals to a... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I make vegetable puree soups without broth - using a heavy pot with a tight-fitting lid, start with garlic, shallots, onions and/or herbs cooked in butter (well, really I use Earth Balance Buttery Spread TM and olive oil, but you'll probably want... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Book of the New Sun is all about a Chosen One and it's pretty misogynist (like all Gene Wolfe, really). And yet it is absolutely worth reading. It is one of very, very few books where I am both willing to tune out the misogyny... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

It's called the workhouse, and to be honest it's better to have them working and contributing to society than sitting on welfare/charity doing nothing. LOL! Have you actually read the history of workhouses? Or any statistics about how a... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

What if this same kid spent ten hours a week volunteering to help families get fresh produce and meats and cook good food? Is he more ethical because he is contributing, or still unethical because he is not EARNING? Indeed. Folks... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

1. Best friend and good friend - she is in her late thirties, he is in his late twenties. They have been together for several years, live together and seem likely to stay together - it's a serious relationship in which both seem very happy. She... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I am a queer woman who has been known to date men. The ones who were attractive to me were the ones who could be read as gay by some people - by which I mean, dudes who were not super-repressed or super macho, dudes who were able to gesture... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

: "I feel like maybe you have a problem with gay people, do you?" When they start backpedaling you can wish them luck on their journal of personal discovery This is truly excellent advice.... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Have I got a recipe for you! I just made this sweet potato gratin and it was incredibly delicious - all who partook praised it. It says to use a mandoline - I just slice the potatoes as thin as I could. I would sub in half and half for... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

As a general issue, I tend to care more about fiction being good than it being inclusive, and can see over-anxious inclusiveness as something that can mar quality (not that I'm calling QC over-anxious) I do think that seeing yourself in... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

There's also Transgender Health Services Network of Central New York, which seems to offer general medical services, albeit in Syracuse. You might try giving them a call too - they might have recommendations closer to you. And I totally feel... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Asking about the rules is good. I will say that my late great aunt had a wonderful, selfless carer for the last year of her life - a genuinely nice woman who really brought her whole self to the task. We were all incredibly thankful that my great... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Howard Cruse's Stuck Rubber Baby. [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I will be interested to see how all this stuff works into the popular culture discourse of "women are naturally sexually fluid and men are naturally not, so basically straight chicks can totally get into making out with each other or having... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

The trouble with dress boots is that they're such an odd item that there just aren't a lot of makers, and they don't even turn up used very often. Most men who wear suits don't wear boots with them; most men who want a pair of boots for wear with a... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Dapper butch woman here. I too would break up with you over this, and I wouldn't look back - in fact, I'd be astonished that someone who wants to date a femme woman had wasted my time and led me on. Look, you sound like you could stand to do some... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I add that needing to use a friend's address seems to me to be a pretty common and noncontroversial working class/poor person thing that many middle class people view as incredibly sketch. There are a lot of things like that.... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

You're fine, but lord, don't get married. Of course you want to date other people - that's totally reasonable, and your average late teens relationship lasts for a few months or a couple of years and then ends. It's a slightly tricky thing to... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Ask him why he needs it. It could be some kind of jurisdictional thing with food stamps, for instance - a friend of ours lost her food stamps for a couple of months when she moved counties because of the address change, for instance. It could be... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

When Camper moved their operation to China, they claimed that it wasn't for the cheap labour, but because the quality of the workmanship was better. Fluevog made the same decision for some of its shoes. Take that with as much salt as you like,... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

The first thing I'd do is take them to a shoe guy and get a topy/sole cover put on - maybe a more textured/winter boot one. Rich fellows like to talk about how leather feels best and sole covers ruin it, but leather wears through if you walk long... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

When I am successful at eating appropriately at work (which is not always!) I bring about 1 C of baby carrots, a small apple and a red bell pepper chopped into 1" pieces. These things are all sweet, crunchy and take a while to eat. The minute I... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I know a lot of newish parents right now, many of them pretty far from typical in terms of jobs, transportation options, money, gender presentation, sexuality, politics and social habits. What strikes me (as someone who has never, ever wanted to... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Also, if you are the new person - are you, like, a junior scientist or some such classification? - please trust me when I say that you have not been hired on the assumption that you already have eighty million kinds of lab skills. You've been hired... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Netbooks for the helpless
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Ask MeFi post - Last year

Also, do you have someone to check in with? I helped a friend who was in the throes of depression once by having a "debrief and planning" meeting with them every night (we lived in the same house, but you could do this by email). For a... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I add that La Roux's Bulletproof goes over best with my crowd, and Santigold's Go rather than Disparate Youth. And Janelle Monae's Tightrope or Dance or Die - I like to dance to Tightrope and am baffled about why it's not the album's dance hit.... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

they're just folks who are quite similar to me but who have sex with people of the same sex. Ok, the sarc answer is "well, that's because you're straight, duh, and the queerer folks are ( the less likely they are to be... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Wait, what? How are "love" and "want" differentiated? I guess "men don't worry about being 'wanted' because they assume that they are desirable because patriarchy, whereas women constantly feel inadequate because... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

O hey, I hear you! I am not in IT, but I share a lot of your stresses. I hope you are actively working on getting a therapist. I mean, when I decided to find a therapist, it took perhaps three weeks from getting recommendations to sitting on... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

SF writing, like all genre writing, aims first to satisfy the conventions of the genre, second to be actually good writing. One of these conventions is having some interesting ideas. If your story has those, SF fans will excuse your bad writing,... [more]
favorited 36 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Some people like to engineer psychodramas to reenact certain situations that are important to them. There are parts that have to be cast. The bully who creates your victim status (and who is, if you're choosing the cast, not going to be somebody... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

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