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Activity from Frowner

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Wait, hold the phone...you're saying that your brother, who is a POC child of immigrants, was suspended for three days for saying something like "those crackers in Neighborhood X would probably flip out and say [inappropriate thing] if we went... [more]
favorited 32 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Part of becoming a therapist is to realize that stuff like this will happen. In fact, in lots of situations, the therapist will ask you how you would like to handle it if you meet them in public - do you want to pretend you don't know them?... [more]
favorited 4 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I'd suggest asking her what she needs to make this right - on the one hand, it's only a drawer; on the other hand, the broken drawer really impacts the value of the whole bed. Can she replace the drawer via the manufacturer? Can a local... [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

It sounds like a first step would be to actually meet her - or actually, your first first step would be to talk to the person who met her and find out why they invited her to stay and what they know about her. It's possible that this... [more]
favorited 13 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Oh, holy crap, don't give her money. [more]
favorited 27 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

You know, it's funny - I actually took a good look at my first 2013 pay statement and, unlike this whole WSJ line of nonsense suggests, it's neither painful nor confusing. Because I am not a plutocrat, I make a modest amount; my taxes have gone up... [more]
favorited 5 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I'd be interested in hearing how the "Planned Parenthood is a plot to bring on the eugenics of the Blacks" 'theory about a conspiracy' fits into the meme of 'conspiracy theories are all about white privilege' The people funding... [more]
favorited 3 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Yet when trans women actually do reject this plastic surgical standard of beauty and are disinterested in hyperfeminine dress, they suffer the indignities of being treated as "men posing as women" because their bodies do not appear... [more]
favorited 14 times
MeFi comment - Last year

It's interesting too just how many physical cues there are. It's not just "tits/no-tits" or "beard/no-beard." It's really subtle stuff like the distribution of fat on a person's face and neck, or the structure of their jaw and... [more]
favorited 9 times
MeFi comment - Last year

What I hear, anyway, is that it's best to do all this stuff while you're young (but have finished growing) - you're more resilient and heal better. I know everyone means to be complimentary to this girl, but I wish the conversation didn't keep... [more]
favorited 29 times
MeFi comment - Last year

The Wired article (after talking about how Graph search leverages one's "relationship with brands", god why are people such suckers on the internet, you do not have relationships with brands) talks about how this can be used in... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I think you've just given yourself away as living in Minneapolis. I don't think Chicago suburbs have rings. Yes they do! What do you call Oak Park then? (Which is not where I grew up.) "Inner ring suburbs" are the first couple... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Minnesotans couldn't imagine moving away from family/support networks to live somewhere new. See, I actually moved to Minnesota and stayed - voluntarily! - and the "Minnesota" that gets described in these articles is never... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Can you check in with another faculty member or your department head to get guidelines for how to respond? Particularly if you don't have tenure/are adjuncting or are in some other way vulnerable (visibly GLBTQ? Person of color in a majority white... [more]
favorited 1 time
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Well, yes, but on the other hand Minnesota is something like 87% white. When you're almost 90% white it's not a big surprise when the popular view of your area is that it is lily-white. 'Cause it mostly is. I think you misunderstand me. The... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

It sounds like you're anxious about your son's gender expression and/or sexuality, and you're concerned that his concerns are making him secretly depressed or ill-at-ease in the world and that's impacting his social life. Vis-a-vis the dolls... [more]
favorited 26 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

It includes MPR. It's like 'real' Minnesotans are descended from Swedes (which I think isn't even true of the majority of Minnesotans descended from that wave of immigrants) and everyone else is a unicorn, regardless of how long their family has... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Using My Words, as Captain Awkward would say, and telling people that I'm happy to talk about it, but I need a bit of time to process and/or don't quite feel like I can hug them and make it all better yet. In these situations, that's when things... [more]
favorited 12 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I mean, did she talk about the surgery at all? Or talk about any after-effects? Conceivably someone could have a really fast, great recovery, but it would just be weird to have been really upfront with your friends about the diagnosis and the... [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

If your friend had a double mastectomy, recovery time is the the 3-6 week range. None of my friends have required this surgery so far, but everyone I know who had a big surgery which required a hospital stay (you're in the hospital for three or... [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Fiorentini & Baker is absolutely canonical for high-quality all-leather women's boots. Gimme Shoes stocks some; you can also order from Ped (at the link), who are very reliable and helpful. That link goes to one pair of boots but the sidebar... [more]
favorited 4 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Can you just tell them, "Listen, I know it's upsetting to you that you've hurt me - I appreciate that you care about my wellbeing. But I need to process this myself - I've got to ask you to work through your feelings on your own or with someone... [more]
favorited 4 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Also, if he told his little brother "f**k you" and is punished for swearing, does that mean that it would have been better if he'd said "I hate you, you ruin everything"? Honestly, virtually all of the most hurtful things my... [more]
favorited 8 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I have handled Aurora shoes - they were very nicely made and used great leather but seemed prone to stretching as they are unlined and also if you have a high arch or a foot that is thick top to bottom, they may not be a good fit - they have a very... [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Such a pity. Actually, hanging out in a beautiful place for a month eating banana pancakes and Laotian food and swimming and tubing sounds deliriously nice. Relaxing with the occasional drink or lightweight substance would also be nice. But... [more]
favorited 4 times
MeFi comment - Last year

(I add that I am the child of two very, very bright people - one of whom was admitted to a grad program at Harvard - and test extremely well. I've always been at the top of every class, graduate and non-. I've always known I'd be going to college.... [more]
favorited 83 times
MeFi comment - Last year

There's a decent chance you can talk your office job into letting you take another week or 2 unpaid vacation... I have never heard of such a thing! What is far more common, in my experience, is the pressure not to take any of your... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Often when I have a head cold, I then acquire a chest cold/bronchitis/something with chest symptoms right away afterward. I have also had some wicked lightheadedness from dehydration. Do you have anxiety about medical issues? Like, chronic... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

This does sound very graduate school, and it sounds like a mess. My gut response is "be wary of graduate school guys who send mixed signals to younger women". The difference between 25 and thirty isn't unbridgeable, but it's enough to... [more]
favorited 5 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I'd suggest telling her that because you can't return her feelings, you would like to take a break from the friendship until it can be truly platonic. Reiterate that you are happily married and can't return her feelings. In theory, this... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

When a certain style of dress is seen to be "trashy" by society at large, you make a decision to as to how you want to be identified when you choose to dress that way. It's not fair, but that is how it is." But this type of... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Wave your hand in a friendly way, and say something like "eh eh eh, wait, I wasn't done!" Or bring it up directly - I'd do it in the moment rather than later simply because it's just a bad social habit. Say to them in a warm tone of voice,... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I told my dad I didn't want to go. He offered to pay for plane tickets. I stood my ground. He acquiesed and later confessed, almost as an afterthought, that my grandpa didn't even really want to go in the first place....... [more]
favorited 13 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Early Margaret Drabble - Jerusalem the Golden, The Middle Ground and The Radiant Way are my favorites, partly for the portraits they give of the UK in the seventies and eighties, partly for their portrayal of a certain kind of... [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Graceland has surpassed form and virtuosity to become a touchstone, a thing we go to when we need to be reminded of who we are, where we come from, what we’re about, the things we have in common. In the title song, the place of Graceland is never... [more]
favorited 5 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Very often people simply don't put together the whole "if I work extra hours for free to get my work done, sure it makes me look good in the short term but it's actually screwing everyone over, including me, in the long term" thing. It... [more]
favorited 20 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Okay, since this seems like the place for recommending a very, very scary story....."White",, a novella by Tim Lebbon, is probably the scariest thing I've ever read. Although I'd also say that certain parts of The Birth of the People's... [more]
favorited 14 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I came in here to say a lot of what Frowner already said, so I'll say something else. Although actually I look at what I wrote and wish I had not been so bitey, partly because I once made a joke in ignorance about Nietzsche (as who has... [more]
favorited 8 times
MeFi comment - Last year

postmodernism is a scam to funnel money from the productive classes to the parasitical academy Adorno isn't a postmodernist. He would have been appalled - appalled! - by the suggestion, just as he was appalled by the swinging sixties... [more]
favorited 56 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I don't think this is a good idea. Based on reading your previous questions, I suspect that if you look inside yourself and really reflect, you can feel the difference between "this is something I don't want to do but really should... [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

he's a particularly hardcore Zionist who feels no sympathy for the teenagers killed by Anders Breivik, because he thinks they'd have just become pro-Islamist agitators Honestly, would you accept this line of reasoning from any other... [more]
favorited 14 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

"Every morning when I awake I ask myself whether I should write or blow up a dam." Oh, hiLARious. No, Derrick Jensen does not have anger management issues - what he has is a pretty cushy position as a white, straight,... [more]
favorited 3 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Also, people can be interested in more than one person at a time. And also, the Person Who Asks You Out tends to trump the Remote Crush Who Isn't Interested Even If You're Texting Them A Lot - the mere act of asking someone out tends to... [more]
favorited 5 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I've never understood why some people can't get past it. I don't mean to be insensitive, I just don't get it. Here are some suggestions: 1. Their bullying was worse than what you experienced. 2. Their bullying was physical as well,... [more]
favorited 155 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Do your cats run around and play a lot after eating? Our adorable, perfect cat throws up if she eats too fast and/or plays right after eating. When she's having episodes of vomiting, I feed her smaller meals - there was a phase where we had four... [more]
favorited 1 time
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

why do I have strains of Pulp going through my head? "you could call your dad and he'd stop it all" I don't know, since this dude doesn't seem to have contact with his family. Admittedly, a young, handsome white guy without... [more]
favorited 108 times
MeFi comment - Last year

One thing that I haven't seen in discussion about this - that it's a bit weird that the major discussants of something that happens to and is generally perpetrated by African women living in African should be Swedes living in Sweden, most of whom are... [more]
favorited 21 times
MeFi comment - Last year

It occurs to me that Christmas is rather fraught - a lot of weight placed on gifts, a lot of gifts to buy, a lot of stress. While it would have been awesome if he'd gotten you the perfect presents - and I argue that in some ways gifts early in a... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I mean, really they weren't "swinging sixties" - they were student radicals. But they were pretty swinging compared to dear, dear Teddy. [more]
favorited 1 time
MeFi comment - Last year

I actually have some related knowledge (and I too am at a large midwestern research institution, know what a P01 is, etc etc). Our senior person is a member of NCURA; someone else who is up-and-coming is a member of SRA. I would suggest joining,... [more]
favorited 1 time
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

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