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Is it that the dystopias are relatively easier to create, since so much of the world will look similar to what we've got around us now? Or is the dystopia more a method of ironic distance than a subgenre, really, a method adopted by multiple… [more]
favorited 2 times
MeFi comment - Last year

They aren't treating you very well - they've condensed two real positions into one benefitless contract position, probably because they feel that they can walk all over you. This is the kind of thing that unions, for instance, forbid in our… [more]
favorited 12 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Here's a thing: I have a friend with a baby daughter. She's on food stamps. She can't afford childcare and does, basically, odd jobs while living with her [awful] parents because even with the odd jobs she can't make rent. She's out of food stamp… [more]
favorited 26 times
MeFi comment - Last year

...run out of profitable uses for the class of people who 500 years ago would have been known, without any derogation, as peasants. The condition of "peasants" has varied across history - 500 years ago was before the Enclosure… [more]
favorited 32 times
MeFi comment - Last year

That is weird, as bedbug dogs require actual special bedbug training. (Here is a sort of "simplified to the point where it won't actually work" guide to the process.) I have had a bedbug dog visit my house. He worked with a special… [more]
favorited 13 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Generally speaking, she or he who does the breaking up usually feels a lot less bad than the other person. Plus you've already started the grieving process of losing him before you did the deed. Precisely! Honestly, when I've broken up with… [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

What kind of apartment complex is this? Is it market rate/nice-and-pleasant or is it partially subsidized or really cheap or does it house people getting some form of state support? If it's a nice one, it seems less likely that there are going to… [more]
favorited 1 time
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I have sold many things on eBay. I have issued refunds for various reasons. I do it through PayPal. You don't need to do anything fancy - you just use the initial transaction, and you can issue total or partial refunds easily. (I've chosen to give… [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

People talk in academia, far more than in certain other professions. Joe Department Chair is going to go to conferences and exchange emails with other people with hiring power, and people really do have those "jesus god, I hate… [more]
favorited 5 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

The reality is that even though I genuinely do like her as a person, I’ve always thought her opinions and her veganism were ridiculous. I never respected them (which really means I never fully respected her), secretly harboring an opinion of her… [more]
favorited 41 times
MeFi comment - Last year

(And to continue - in general, the SF novels by women that they choose are focused on men. Frankenstein, The Dispossessed, Swordspoint - all novels by women where the most important characters are men and the focus is kept… [more]
favorited 2 times
MeFi comment - Last year

+1 on the "there should be more women" tip I would have more patience with the absence of women on the painting list if the position of women on the writers' lists weren't so foolish-looking. At my count, for instance, 78 of the… [more]
favorited 4 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I know 91% of words and was not fooled by any of the fake words. I am telling myself that I am still pretty good since the ones I missed were all science words and we all know that science doesn't count. [more]
favorited 4 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Yet if you talk about science fiction, about the best or most important, this needs to be in there, as that's the first novel that actually is science fiction, the start of it all. To include Frankenstein is a justifiable choice. The… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Dawn, by Octavia Butler. It's very zeitgeisty with radicals right now, and I've lost count of how many people who, upon hearing that I read (and do a little teaching about) SF have told me "Oh, I don't really read science fiction....but… [more]
favorited 6 times
MeFi comment - Last year

It has just occurred to me that asexuality is very much a product of modernity - you don't need to say that you are asexual unless 1. there's a very strong norm that everyone (married or not, seeking to have sex or not, religious or not, old or… [more]
favorited 9 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I don't think it's sexist to want to acknowledge sexuality exists and can present issues when close proximity, intimacy, or touch are part of the work environment. For heterosexual people, which is the larger percent of the population, that… [more]
favorited 32 times
MeFi comment - Last year

It does not seem, in general, as if the editors spend very much time paying attention to cultural production by women - you have only to look at their other lists. If you are a Very Famous woman in your field (Virginia Woolf, Ursula Le Guin) you may… [more]
favorited 1 time
MeFi comment - Last year

I also think that maybe fetishes and BDSM/etc sexual practices might be a good model for understanding asexuality - most people don't seem to have trouble with the idea that sexual fetishes (or identities such as submissiveness) are both highly… [more]
favorited 7 times
MeFi comment - Last year

But, how is asexuality socially constructed, and what if this social construction is born out of trauma, i mean this is the case for all kinds of sex, but there has been a long tradition, of for example how instutional homophobia shapes queer sex,… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

(Watch out for "heritage" brands like Frye and Fluevog - while both still make some great shoes, their salad days are behind them. Fluevogs used to be made in England, then Poland - and those were all very solid shoes. Now they're… [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

It isn't always humor. I've seen rallying Radical Feminists chant "Shoot the Rapists, Shoot Shoot the Rapists". I have two thoughts here: First, I don't think there's anything more terrible about shooting rapists than about… [more]
favorited 4 times
MeFi comment - Last year

White lie. Don't go. You are the one who has interacted with the violent men in your family, you are the one who is best qualified to judge whether they are dangerous or not. Too often, women are told to ignore danger signals because it's rude or… [more]
favorited 25 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

St. Peepsburg - who I'm sure is a perfectly lovely person! - is saying that because she feels that someone's motives for calling themselves asexual are mixed, this calls their asexuality into question. That line of reasoning only makes sense… [more]
favorited 1 time
MeFi comment - Last year

This brings back something for me: a long time ago, I lived in a house next door to a place there was a murder. One of my housemates was a young black woman. She saw most of the murder - not the critical moment, but she saw the quarrel through a… [more]
favorited 138 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I find myself wondering how the school defines "bullying", especially since I've seen a lot of places use it to mean "any form of unkindness directed at another child" rather than (as most mefites use it) "sustained,… [more]
favorited 5 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Yeah, in important ways my taste was set in the nineties, although it was much more "aspirational J Crew like all the rich girls wore in HS" plus various punk and grunge stylings from college. (I'm old!) In high school I had neither… [more]
favorited 12 times
MeFi comment - Last year

What, do the xx's stand for something dirty? Back in my particular day, they stood for straight-edge. But that's not a nineties thing, it's an eighties thing that carried over. [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I think you are way overthinking this. It's difficult to negotiate friendships sometimes, but most minor awkwardnesses can be solved by just being as sincere and kind as possible. I think that it's very easy to get into "rules" and… [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

your ideal image is closer to a Victorian gentleman with a study of books made of oak, filled with comfortable chairs and a fireplace whom can discuss nearly any subject with some familiarity. See, that Victorian gentleman was at… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

It blows my mind (actually I guess it makes sense) that so many of you have seen, but completely misunderstood, Ghost World. Enid and Seymour are the only sane, decent people in a misanthropic world otherwise populated entirely by severely hollow,… [more]
favorited 13 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I saw a lot of young people my age arrive, flip out, and leave. Personally, I don't think I thrived those first few years. I didn't make the most of the situation. But I was young. I wanted to par-tay. I'm totally going to disagree with you… [more]
favorited 20 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Okay, back again. I have a lot of thoughts about this: 1. How you are feeling is not about you. It's about the messages of woman-hating and woman-shaming that you have received all your life. You have picked up the messages that society… [more]
favorited 32 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I RTFA, and the thing that jumped out at me was the passage where the writer spoke of a woman who was interviewing for a secretarial position at the salon chain she worked for, so she could move up from being a hairdresser. When she left, the… [more]
favorited 65 times
MeFi comment - Last year

“a very tiny space that exists between being a butch dyke and being a trans man,” Oh, precisely. That is my tiny space. I'm pretty lucky because I have wide shoulders and flat hips (even as a fat person) and this means that… [more]
favorited 33 times
MeFi comment - Last year

What I always remember about Paglia is reading about how she was complaining about trans people (especially trans men) and she was saying that trans men were just doing it for the male privilege and people shouldn't really have easy access to… [more]
favorited 1 time
MeFi comment - Last year

But that's the point! Enid is so narcissistic that she doesn't realize that. I don't know if that's really what we're supposed to take from the comic. (I haven't seen the movie since I didn't like the comic much.) I think we're supposed… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Okay, look, this is a weird thing for a white person to say, but I feel really weird about someone taking this really powerful, mobilizing song and turning it into a sad indie white girl song. Tightrope really, really reads to me as a song that is… [more]
favorited 18 times
MeFi comment - Last year

My impression is that a LOT of organic produce is grown and shipped with the expectation that the people who buy it are looking for better-quality stuff. It's not so much that the organic nature of the product makes it taste better, it's… [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I like Bill Bryson's A Walk In The Woods - it's an account of his hike of part of the Appalachian Trail and while it's not science per se, it's a cheeringly down to earth account of the process and the trail. (I find some of his other books… [more]
favorited 4 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

It was particularly angering because the DA had just that year pardoned two people who had killed someone to save themselves during an attack, so there was even immediate legal precedent to pardon CeCe. But of course those people were white (and, I… [more]
favorited 9 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Also, did you help him prep for this test in any way? I took virtually all those tests (SAT, ACT, GRE) with almost no prep and did very well, but I was astounded to learn that most people do significant practice first. Most kids who are going… [more]
favorited 5 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

That City Pages article was widely held to be pretty terrible around here. I don't have time to look at it point by point and I've blocked out the memory, but it was called out for being really scandal-mongering and transphobic (and the cover was,… [more]
favorited 2 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I actually know some folks who went to IMSA (and I desperately wanted to go but my parents wouldn't let me) and honestly, none of them are, like, Super Duper Rocket Scientists Transforming The World. I'm not saying that it isn't worthwhile to go -… [more]
favorited 11 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

(I add that it was a pretty intense thing to go to IMSA - everyone I knew was a boarder, they lost touch with their friends from their regular school and it was a pretty big deal socially. (I only connected back up with people years later.) Unless… [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Trees! Are there old trees in the yard? What kind? We had a huge series of expenses (totaling about $8000) to remove old trees as they started to fall down. Silver maples tend to rot from the inside and fall apart. If a tree is old and… [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Knob and tube wiring, also - it would cost $45,000 to totally rewire our house. (Hollow laughter.) Luckily, knob and tube is actually quite safe if it's in good condition (as ours is - we've had it inspected by a couple of different electricians)… [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Could your friends accommodate you for, like, a week each? I think that if your father is making serious physical threats, you need to leave right now. If you explained to your friends that you feel physically unsafe and asked them if they could… [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

My daughters seem baffled and bored by their peers who they say seem to be mostly interested in fashion and boy bands. "I am not yet sexual and so this stuff bores me" or "my romantic or sexual interests are different from… [more]
favorited 20 times
MeFi comment - Last year

In the early days of a Very Important Relationship, we would fight every time one of us had to make a trip. We didn't even realize we were doing it. And they'd be big, stupid fights. And this was a person I loved very much and got along very well… [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

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