Activity from Frowner

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Honestly, I think dealing with all this is a huge, heartbreaking challenge to women who are attracted to men. Back when I slept with men (I'm attracted to men as well as a range of other genders) it really messed with me. I gave up pursuing men, in… [more]
favorited 34 times
MeFi comment - Last year

You might find Janet Flanner's reportage of interest. She lived in Paris and wrote for the New Yorker from the 1920s through the 1970s, with a little time away during the war. Paris Was Yesterday is her pre-war reporting, which is more about… [more]
favorited 1 time
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Everyone is going to jump in and say the same thing, but it seems unlikely that you've strung X along, X sounds like they need to mature a bit (at best) or are creepy and stalkery (at worst). If X is young, X probably hasn't adjusted to the idea… [more]
favorited 15 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

The main thing that strikes me about both this review and the work of Harmony Korrine: in many situations, the world you inhabit is the world you choose. Oh, not in the sense that if you're broke and trapped in a shit job that's because you… [more]
favorited 3 times
MeFi comment - Last year

What? No. It means shaving or Nair or maybe waxing but tbh I do not know a single woman who gets her legs waxed. I don't know anyone socially who gets their legs waxed, but I do know that for me - a person with very dark,… [more]
favorited 14 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Smartphones, too, are in this category to a certain extent, though the right likes to complain about poor people with smartphones, too. I pay about $80/month for my cell phone and internet access. The easiest way to cut that* is abandon my home… [more]
favorited 25 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I guess if I were you and there were some genuine redeeming features to this guy, plus maybe some mitigating circumstances... ....let's say that he's materially generous, laughs at people's jokes, and has genuinely been nice to people in… [more]
favorited 12 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Learning chess does teach you critical thinking, understanding complex rules and anticipating future situations based on current conditions. All good skills for being better at "life" in general. But under highly controlled… [more]
favorited 8 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I think there's something lurking in the background here: different groups and (lord knows) different generations have really different takes on the whole "I think we're attracted to each other so I'll just lean in and kiss her" business… [more]
favorited 12 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I had a terrible feeling that this was going to be sad. And it was. We have a jack o'lantern at home still but luckily we carved a picture on it instead of a face, so there is no temptation to personify. [more]
favorited 5 times
MeFi comment - Last year

My roommates who had very different views on disposable income would "tip" her in groceries because they viewed her probable low wages to mean poor and therefore hungry. Did you have the kind of relationship with your roommates… [more]
favorited 1 time
MeFi comment - Last year

Many men's style bloggers recommend Gold Toe for a lower-priced yet durable option. Of course, you could kick down for Pantherellas or Dapper Classics, but honestly they're pretty expensive and not necessarily better. I like my Pantherellas… [more]
favorited 1 time
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Seriously, if someone treated me disrespectfully when I was trying to buy something from them, then I'd certainly consider writing a review explaining what happened. Me, I'd let it go unless I thought it was motivated by misogyny or… [more]
favorited 10 times
MeFi comment - Last year


I have been thinking about this whole question (even though you've marked it answered! It's such an interesting one.) First, I wanted to recommend some bookcases: these folding stacking ones. You can get them from many vendors (the Container… [more]
favorited 1 time
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I don't begrudge anyone the urge to complain, even at length, about a job that involves finding less-than-fresh corpses. YMMV. I'm sure it was horrible, and I don't mind people complaining - but he writes as if somehow there were… [more]
favorited 21 times
MeFi comment - Last year

That's obviously an absurd parallel, though, and that fact kind of makes me doubt the one you've made here. If online reviewing has introduced perverse incentives, then the incentives in question are probably more oriented towards gaming reviews… [more]
favorited 2 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Also, I will add that if you're going to talk about race, you're going to make mistakes. Even advanced triple-plated anti-racist activists say screwed up things that make people uncomfortable - partly because people of color aren't, like… [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I'm not sure I know the difference. A button-front shirt is any standard dress shirt that has buttons all the way along the front to open and close the shirt. A button-down is a sub-category of button-front - the ones that… [more]
favorited 1 time
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I think one of the problems here is that there's a pervasive cultural narrative made up of 1000 tiny things that basically goes "Hip-hop is a universal musical language and no one race deserves the credit! But when black people do hip-hop, it's… [more]
favorited 19 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I live in Minnesota and plenty of people do this. Other people double up on tights or wear leggings under jeans or pants. But so much of this stuff is what you might call "invisible subculture" stuff. There are little social circles… [more]
favorited 9 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Actually, I think a problem is that this essay can't decide whether it wants to focus on evoking the texture of his experience or making a big complaint about how awful it was. It sounds like a very strongly felt, eerie and evocative short-term job,… [more]
favorited 5 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Oh, it's Cathy Brennan, the incarnation of evil. That makes total sense. Seriously, she's like someone crossed Camille Paglia with Henry Kissinger and stripped away the last few molecules of humor and generosity. [more]
favorited 24 times
MeFi comment - Last year

How plugged in to the local left network are you? Do you do local activist stuff? It is unlikely that you are in Minneapolis, but if you are, I know several young and reliable people who would be glad of such work. A young activist-y type… [more]
favorited 6 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Or else some more personal stuff - maybe this was uniquely horrible for him in a way that it wouldn't be for others. Maybe he has some childhood trauma, physical limitation, anxiety or something. But sharing that so that we understand that… [more]
favorited 1 time
MeFi comment - Last year

You are now, in 2013, talking about a song written in England in the late '80s. Things were different then. I heard that song within about two years of its release - I remember borrowing the album from someone who'd just gotten it. It… [more]
favorited 2 times
MeFi comment - Last year

To totally skip (momentarily) all the comments that have been written so far: when I read this article, it really illustrated for me that "enclosure" is the best way to understand capitalism. What happens is that there is a realm… [more]
favorited 24 times
MeFi comment - Last year

It would be Utopia Armed and Utopia-With-Indentured-Servants, that's what it would be. Picture all these guys (and a few women) - they'd import trophy wives and sex workers and butlers and scullery maids, they'd have to have guns at the border to… [more]
favorited 7 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I don't actually believe that for a second, it's just hilarious coincidence, but still... wow. A comparison of this screed to the actual show should appear in their press packet, because DAMN. Well, actually, when I was going home yesterday… [more]
favorited 6 times
MeFi comment - Last year

That said, Frowner makes it more cut and dried than it is in practice with BDSM/poly stuff, which has a broader (non-theory) queer usage (at least around here) than they're giving credit for, and since I don't really consider myself queer, I don't… [more]
favorited 6 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Also, if I could make a suggestion about maximizing your SFnal enjoyment: google around a bit for "New Wave science fiction" - most of the people you've enjoyed are basically post-New Wave writers and you would probably find a LOT of stuff… [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

In what way are you "in over your head" when reading contemporary SF? Is it because you'r reading hard science? Is it because you're reading metatextual SF? I always recommend Nicola Griffeth's novel Ammonite, which I see was… [more]
favorited 1 time
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

The thing is, there's almost no way to know - even the kind of limited and imperfect knowledge that a historian might have - about something personal like this. So we're left with the person who is still alive, who is famous, who can be… [more]
favorited 10 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I can understand it as interesting as a philosophical question, but since most of the work that I do starts with the assumption that whether choice or genetics (or even nurture/environment), it's a legitimate identity — and that the behaviors have… [more]
favorited 4 times
MeFi comment - Last year

You know what really kills me? I, a total snob who (let's face it) prides themselves on their unusual taste and general above-the-herd-ness, am totally taken with all the names that kick in once people of my generation really start having… [more]
favorited 27 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Make a berry crisp with some of them? Four pounds is a lot, but if you mixed them with some frozen blueberries or cherries and made a crisp - well, fruit bakes down a lot, and I always seem to wish my crisps had more fruit in them. [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Bengali in Platforms is just another example of pointing out an ugly emotional reality: the difficult failures of an immigrant's urge to belong. It's just like Henry Miller writing talking about the emotional world of whores while calling them… [more]
favorited 4 times
MeFi comment - Last year

There are quite a few trans people who are also gay or lesbian or queer or bisexual. These aren't exclusive identities. I think framing it as a choice between battling movements or placid reconciliation isn't very helpful, but I think remembering… [more]
favorited 7 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Where are you? You need to find other gay/queer/lesbian folks. If you're not near a big city, you can google around for queer youth services in the nearest city and they will probably have some suggestions. There are probably coming-out support… [more]
favorited 19 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Ok, sincere question here. Is homosexual the wrong term to use now? Is queer acceptable? Or does it apply to only one group? Can straight people use the word queer or is that taboo? We are trying to be sensitive at my workplace and need to keep up… [more]
favorited 4 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Find a job and then think about that job - even if it's a terrible job or obviously unsuitable or just a temp gig. Start thinking about what you like, what you hate, what you do well. Sit with that a while. I am embarking, late in life,… [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

The whole choice versus genetics thing seems like such an odd orthogonal question I don't think it's orthogonal at all - I think that one reason that the language "we" use about gender and sexuality is such a complicated question… [more]
favorited 3 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Chains of Love by Erasure - all that stuff about "remember once there was a time" seems to me to be about pre-AIDS gay communities. Red Hot + Blue was a benefit album for HIV research that came out in 1990 - it's not precisely what… [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Most of those surprises and so on are not that pleasant - I was perfectly willing to suspend a little disbelief, for instance, when listening to that song that references the Kray brothers - but they were not nice to know. There's a certain kind of… [more]
favorited 7 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Technical fix for the laundry - put his laundry in the dryer. Tell him that you're going to do so if he doesn't. Set it at low/medium. Get a cheap laundry basket. Dump his dry laundry into it. I've been in this very situation both as the owner… [more]
favorited 4 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

You don't have to give a laundry list about why you don't want kids. In fact, giving a laundry list just gives people the impression that if Magic Kidney Cure was invented, you'd be off to have children and isn't it tragic that there is no Magic… [more]
favorited 13 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

1. I am pretty much past the age where I could easily have a child. I, like you, have always viscerally not wanted a kid - as soon as I realized the girls did not have to have babies, I knew that was the route for me. Everyone I have known… [more]
favorited 8 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I'm a little surprised by the hostility expressed over my opinion. People are hostile because you sound like a right-wing talking point, and because the monstrous poor person who doesn't use their food stamps right is a propaganda… [more]
favorited 100 times
MeFi comment - Last year

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