Activity from Frowner

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Oh god, you HAVE to read the Mina De Malfois stories. They aren't fan fiction, they're a bunch of stories about people who write fan fiction and the various subgenres therein. They start out as stand-alone stories making fun of a specific... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Also, Frowner, just because women see making their own decisions about hygiene, dress, and gender presentation without taking into account anyone else's opinions, wishes, or feelings, as being feminist (because how dare a woman just do what she... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

What I notice looking at pictures of these is that the softness of the fabric means that the fit is a little off, the legs look a little baggy, etc. The fit looks kind of nineties to me - not the way jeans are conventionally worn right now. For... [more]
favorited 16 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

(Also, "rage"? Really? We're disagreeing on the internet and that's rage. If we want to unpack how women are expected to behave, I find it interesting that it seems natural to be told not to express anything that even hints at anger.)... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I guess what I'd tend to say is that there are crushes and crushes. I'm queer, mostly date non-cis-men and have at one point or another had teeny-tiny crushes on most of my friends, but more in the "oooh, I have a crush on the cute bus... [more]
favorited 8 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Also, I would be absolutely astonished if all my straight male friends have wanted to sleep with big ol' butch queer more-fat-than-thin me. Flattered, yes, but mostly astonished. (Again, I think this question becomes a lot less clear-cut if you stop... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

This is both feminine and elegant. And this number on Mademoiselle Perry is vraiment chic. Leaving aside the fact that neither of those is a work dress for most values of work... Really? Really? A ruffled polyester shirt dress that I... [more]
favorited 12 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Eh, of all the product placement BS that goes on, this seems pretty minor. Most women applying for this job are going to be expecting to be dressed and made up to a standard. Makeup is a normal part of many dress codes, as horrible as that is.... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

There's a lot of leather totes on Etsy, and as it's a fairly simple shape and doesn't require as much labor, the prices are generally much better than the one you link.... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Leaving aside all other aspects of the matter, that's a lovely dress. It would certainly be nice if such kind of dresses became acceptable replacements for suits in the workplace, since they're more comfortable, more washable and come in a greater... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I'd say that there was a lot of stratification in my high school by class and race, and that this contoured most of the other interactions. My school was overwhelmingly white, with a small number of Latin@ students coming in when I was a junior.... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

but it's not necessarily a bridge going backwards toward racism. Also, hipster racism doesn't need to build a bridge back towards racism; it is racism. It's a way of speaking and acting that causes pain to marginalized people,... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

So what happened to all the stuff about how shitty it is to work for Amazon? How exploited the workers are and how cruel the management? I've stopped ordering from Amazon - fuck 'em, is what I say. I want more for the future than a... [more]
favorited 56 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Frowner, would you care to expand on, "Cory Doctorow, for example, routinely writes stories that purport to be feminist but have truly terrible, coercive, cruel ideas about how women should live" at all, please? I haven't read any of his... [more]
favorited 4 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Fans and creatives have a duty to remain accessible and relevant to future generations because they are not the owners of the ideas and institutions that they employ. Fannish and creative endeavours only have value in so far as they contribute to... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Since you pull it into the open, Frowner (checks, yes, Frowner), That's another sort of oversight from the original article that I was less inclined to pull out: the extent to which he avoids the basic question of generational conflict going on:... [more]
favorited 12 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Remember that this is work - it's a transactional relationship with emotional components, not the other way around. If they needed to fire you to balance the budget, they would. At the moment, they want to retain you (or avoid procedural... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

It's really interesting that the aunts in the story are all "ooh, we don't approve of homosexuality and gay marriage and OMG I hope they don't kiss in front of the children" and then turn right around and say "....and we got them [some... [more]
favorited 21 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Priceless, Frowner. Sadly, not my funny - Biggest Dreamer for the win. [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

The title should have been "Old Man's War Story". But the thing is, bad ideas afflict every generation. Science fiction written by young, cutting-edge people is full of terrible ideas. Cory Doctorow, for example,... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Oh, and there will be a lot of lies about what the 'dangerous' people are up to. In 2008 during the run-up to the Republican National Convention here, there were a huge number of actual, bald-faced lies told by the state and the police to the media... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Olympics organisers have warned businesses that during London 2012 their advertising should not include a list of banned words, including "gold", "silver" and "bronze", "summer", "sponsors" and... [more]
favorited 24 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Some bog-standard tips: 1. You are more average than you think - you are not a special snowflake, for good or for ill. I wish that when I was young and insecure I had been able to shake the belief that I was both Much Worse and Much More Unique... [more]
favorited 19 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

As I understand it, a lot of the people who get it worst from the Olympics are the very people who are already disenfranchised and who are thus 1. unable to articulate what is likely to go wrong and 2. unlikely to be believed. Ie, homeless and... [more]
favorited 18 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I've heard this style of scam a lot - I bet the whole phone number thing was about verisimilitude, not scamming per se. I've had people ask for my phone number before (back when cell phones weren't so common). Since I usually give people (some)... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I don't really think that's true, the whole thing with "your momma" jokes is that people get offended when you slag off on their moms. But people don't make "your mamma" jokes to mammas, they make them as part of... [more]
favorited 17 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I'm really interested in the structures that support this sort of thing and the structures that could be used to disincentivize it. Mobbing is common in internet communities, regardless of the focus of the community and apparently regardless of the... [more]
favorited 5 times
MeFi comment - Last year

(I doubt it. Even for real fans of Chumbawumba (that is, people who know them as a band worth their salt regardless of "Tubthumper"), they are still just kind of an 'also' band. Had Fugazi signed to a major you might have something... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Oh, the bitterness that my father still feels about Dylan "going electric"! He also refers to Joan Baez as "Joanie Phoney". He was a little bit older than the real hippie generation and a big fan of that whole late fifties/early... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

You know, now that I think about it, it might be useful to consider why one gets visibly checked out (as opposed to discreetly). I've had very, very few experiences with this, which I used to read as meaning that I was ugly, and I used to feel... [more]
favorited 9 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Yes, you should break up with him. Although the whole thing is so weird that I almost suspect either neurological causes or cheating-and-looking-for-an-excuse. Because no, it is not normal or appropriate to tell someone that you will come and help... [more]
favorited 8 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

So you're teaching and you have a part time job? That's the scoop? You know what? I think what you're doing is, qualifiedly, fine. I think that a lot of people are brought up to see work as morally important in itself and that this underlying... [more]
favorited 9 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

She also said she hated her stubby little eyelashes. It breaks my heart for women to believe that they are ugly or to long for my features when I think they're beautiful. I responded by saying that I thought her eyes were beautiful and when she... [more]
favorited 41 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

That time is here. It's time for homosexuals to stop with the drama of "coming out" and just get on with their business. No one cares, it's not a big deal so stop making a big deal out of it. There's a lot of hostility in this... [more]
favorited 88 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Adults don't always pull their punches, so why do we expect kids to play nice-nice in every situation? You can still be a kid and have innocent fun while knowing how to deal such epithets as "I don't give a rat's ass what you say, Tom; I'm... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Everyone is going to say that Lydia needs therapy, like, stat - but I do want to add that if my partner were friends with someone who was buddies with a person who had sexually assaulted me while I was unconscious, and my partner had sort of a... [more]
favorited 63 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Yes, this whole "oooh, the fanfiction! It is so terrible! Its literary values, they are so low! I am shocked, shocked that women are not demanding higher literary values in their romantic pornography!" routine grows a little tiresome.... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I remember hearing that the South African musician's union had a big debate and vote over allowing members to collaborate on the album. They voted yes. If this is true, isn't it just arrogant paternalism for American or Europeans to disregard... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Such guidelines, allied to improved public knowledge of the issue and the ever-increasing drug and surgical armamentarium available to physicians, has led to effective medical control of pain and other end-of-life symptoms. For the conscious,... [more]
favorited 17 times
MeFi comment - Last year

1. I've always responded really directly (not that I am beautiful! But I certainly am a white person who has had people deprecate their Asian features when discussing my white ones.) by saying "I think [feature] is really attractive, actually.... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I've actually idly clicked on friends' "follow" lists from time to time, out of curiosity. I don't think it's that freakish. I also think people are going to beat up on you for asking this question. 1. Do you have a crush on this dude... [more]
favorited 6 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I think what actually bugs me about this essay is how it implies that there is and ought to be some particular kind of consciousness - that there is inherent virtue in reflection. It also implies that if you do it right you get... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

This notion that pain is what makes you a good person and taking pharmaceuticals to alleviate it is somehow cheating, combined with the terror of giving out the good drugs to addicts, makes just going to or being in the hospital with something... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Honestly? I'd pay it. This isn't where to draw the line, as it will cause both you and him really outsized bad consequences - loss of the tuition discount, first and foremost. That means he'll be saddled with even more outsized college debt, which... [more]
favorited 45 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Okay, that is absolutely beautiful. I have some non-simple and non-snark thoughts, though: So this is a white UK musician re-releasing for free the work of the work of South African musicians who've pretty much sunk into obscurity. This work... [more]
favorited 9 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I add, too, that there are times when I am physically afraid. When I read about the lesbian couple who were shot out of the blue in Texas, that scares me, for example. When I'm biking around at night and someone yells homophobic insults, that... [more]
favorited 21 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Kids are a lot smarter and more sophisticated than I was when I was 13. I am torn between being glad I am not a teen growing up into the Great Recession and kind of wishing that I could have grown up with more cultural and intellectual resources and... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Oh god, this essay is so horribly like life. Only guilt prevents me from being by myself all the time as much as work allows. [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Minnesota has very active ones like Lutheran Social Services, Catholic Charities, and World Relief Minnesota. Those agencies agree to help the refugees get settled, to learn English, find housing, get health care, and begin a new life. See,... [more]
favorited 6 times
MeFi comment - Last year

As I think about this - the one positive to this column really is that there's a lot that just can't be spoken, and resolving problems sometimes happens when you start speaking. We always say that's a Minnesota thing, but I'm not sure. I... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

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