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Activity from Frowner

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Regarding those who say they don't give a damn what they look like: My father-in-law buys Folger's coffee in giant containers from Sam's Club. He doesn't want to try anything better because it gets the job done and it's cheap. But he doesn't know... [more]
favorited 41 times
MeFi comment - Last year

It's worth noting that the guy apparently had quit Zoloft shortly before all this happened. I don't know, honestly. I had a friend who did a moderately bad thing (no violence or sexual assault, no racial aspect, not related to a romantic... [more]
favorited 12 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Can you talk to them? Knock on the door or leave a note saying "My dog and I ran into you this morning, and I'm afraid we all wrong-footed each other - she is a nice, safe dog but a little nervous. I would love to take a few minutes to meet you... [more]
favorited 1 time
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I add that the "moderately bad thing" was bad enough that it broke up our friend group. The friend who did it vanished for a couple of years, then suddenly started sending money for restitution to the injured parties. And now we're... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

But the point is that no one is really a hipster. The hipster is a symbol. [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Hm. I have often said things like, "I am glad you're here because I don't know how to hook up the projector!" or "I know you're going to be so helpful because you have extensive experience with this process!" In the first... [more]
favorited 8 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

But who is going to work all these delivery jobs, boxing up our razor blades for same day delivery and so on? They are going to be making shit wages under very precarious conditions with probably almost no ability to predict which days they'll be... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I cannot guarantee that it is anxiety, but I will say that as someone who has had periods of intense anxiety, I have caused myself symptoms like this. I have had all kinds of lumps in my throat and difficulty swallowing, for example, plus... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Here are some things I have observed: 1. It is possible to have a need for work, family and partner relationships which will fail. It is possible to seek out, over and over again, men (these are all men, right?) who will criticize... [more]
favorited 11 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Oh, I wanted to say two more things: 1. The bout of twitching that I referenced earlier took a while to die away, even after I had become convinced that it was benign and taken steps to address my anxiety. Even now, I occasionally get bouts of... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Oh, I add that if someone says, "But I don't know how to hook up the projector either!" or "I'm sorry, the Dean just asked me to go to this meeting so I have to run", I am perfectly happy to respond with "I'll call the IT... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

It's a fundamentally better model if you want your neighborhoods to be desolate crime-ridden wastelands full of shuttered shops. So everyone who works retail (itself not that awesome a job) will either be totally jobless and destitute or... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Minnesota liberalism was, I think, always pretty much skin deep. What finally tore away the facade? I think it was 9/11, more than racism. (Minnesota has been racist for a very long time; many Minneapolitans once proudly considered the city to be... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

In the 'realities of being a Hungarian Roma in Canada" article, they point out that the generous, lavish benefits that people are allegedly emigrating to scam off the Canadian government are something like $1100 a month, out of which you have to... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Oh, another thing: I've found that when interacting with younger guys (I'm a queer person who occasionally dates guys, so my situation is different from yours) that very often they want a close, supportive, non-sexual relationship with an... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

a.) A mentor b.) A friend c.) Not in their age group Yes, this! By happy coincidence, I too am in my thirties and spend a lot of time in a [political] scene that skews young and where I tend to take on a lot of certain kinds of... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Use whatever words you like, but I think it's disingenuous to imply that people who avoid a word are doing it because we/they have a problem pointing out anyone's failings. Now, I am perfectly willing to believe that here on Metafilter,... [more]
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MetaTalk comment - Last year

Yeah, Frowner, that's pretty weak. The "cracker isn't nearly as insulting as other words" thing is probably a valid argument. "It's okay to insult white people because white people are awful" is bullshit and terrible.... [more]
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MetaTalk comment - Last year

That's the exact excuse racists use for using "n****r". Yes, and some people say that the earth was created 4,000 years ago while the rest of us assert that it wasn't; some people say that men are the real victims of feminism; et... [more]
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MetaTalk comment - Last year

If the actual MOOC-ification of higher ed is likely to be a dead-end, in other words, MOOC’s do enable us to ask a question that we’ve often been too defensively crouched to think about: what should or could “higher education” look like, if it... [more]
favorited 23 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I'm sort of sick of the trope that dorks are particularly misogynist. I think it's a sort of 'just world' fallacy. Women don't typically like dorks and lots of dorks are lonely so it must be their fault for being bad people. I'm not saying dorks... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

It is not required to back up your personal opinion with any sort of evidence. But it helps. Huh. Well, although I'm an adult now, I don't think I have an actually lower tolerance for lousy working conditions than I did when I was... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Also, these fortress schools weren't built -as the linked article misleadingly says - to protect students from riots; they were built to control students and keep them from rioting, so students were figured as potential rioters first and... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Like, I could see conceding that I'd like to have sex with my female friends in the abstract, and sure, it'd be an ego boost to think that they're all one hot second away from jumping my bones Also, I submit that since the social cost to... [more]
favorited 26 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I always wondered how much of the mockery actually had to do with his ethnicity, actually. I mean, I've watched a lot of these horrible, horrible situations play out on the internet and it seems like the victim is very often someone who is already... [more]
favorited 11 times
MeFi comment - Last year

It's called The Saturdays. I had a copy. [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

When people have made "jokes" that aren't funny to me, I've talked to them - usually pretty gently, since if someone I like, who is basically a good person and who I know does not want to hurt me, made a remark in poor taste, my assumption... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

When I was really, really depressed in my twenties, I read a bunch of YA novels by Diana Wynne Jones (they are older, so they're more original and more geared to teens than contemporary YA). These are all light and charming fantasy: Howl's... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I'm often really surprised that some white people don't have non-white friends. I'm Indian, and I have a very diverse group of friends from all over the country and the world. I went to an elite college in a boondock-y place and I live in DC now.... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Why is Girls a focal point for criticism about under-representation of people of color on television? Arrested Development didn't have any significant non-white characters* but it was never called out like Girls. Tons of shows could be criticized... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Rather than focusing on compromise (since why bother attempting to compromise with somebody who thinks I'm horrible?), my analytical mind instead starts searching for ways to take them down if they get in my way, and it's difficult to mentally... [more]
favorited 16 times
MeFi comment - Last year

What about bleach? Either bleaching them as one might bleach whites (and of course in the washing machine) or just adding a little bit to kill germs as you might if you were cleaning up in a food service environment? Or is that deprecated now and... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

1. Brushing is what you do to get ordinary day-to-day dirt off the shoes. Supplement with a damp cloth if there's serious mud/grit/salt. Keep the brush and the shoe trees where you take your shoes off when you come in, or you can easily get lazy... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Did you not think that's how it was handled in Season 2, episode 2? How you characterize the breakup scene? See, I actually think that if the show carries on in that vein instead of letting everyone off the hook or pulling a "nothing... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Hold the phone, OP - libertarian seasteading projects did not inspire The Scar. (I mean, unless Mieville directly says that they did...but The Scar came out in summer 2002, and thus was planned and written well before this seasteading... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

"Why, what a strange question." [crickets] Also Miss Manners-approved. [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Wait, hold the phone...you're saying that your brother, who is a POC child of immigrants, was suspended for three days for saying something like "those crackers in Neighborhood X would probably flip out and say [inappropriate thing] if we went... [more]
favorited 32 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Part of becoming a therapist is to realize that stuff like this will happen. In fact, in lots of situations, the therapist will ask you how you would like to handle it if you meet them in public - do you want to pretend you don't know them?... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I'd suggest asking her what she needs to make this right - on the one hand, it's only a drawer; on the other hand, the broken drawer really impacts the value of the whole bed. Can she replace the drawer via the manufacturer? Can a local... [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

It sounds like a first step would be to actually meet her - or actually, your first first step would be to talk to the person who met her and find out why they invited her to stay and what they know about her. It's possible that this... [more]
favorited 13 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Oh, holy crap, don't give her money. [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

You know, it's funny - I actually took a good look at my first 2013 pay statement and, unlike this whole WSJ line of nonsense suggests, it's neither painful nor confusing. Because I am not a plutocrat, I make a modest amount; my taxes have gone up... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I'd be interested in hearing how the "Planned Parenthood is a plot to bring on the eugenics of the Blacks" 'theory about a conspiracy' fits into the meme of 'conspiracy theories are all about white privilege' The people funding... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Yet when trans women actually do reject this plastic surgical standard of beauty and are disinterested in hyperfeminine dress, they suffer the indignities of being treated as "men posing as women" because their bodies do not appear... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

It's interesting too just how many physical cues there are. It's not just "tits/no-tits" or "beard/no-beard." It's really subtle stuff like the distribution of fat on a person's face and neck, or the structure of their jaw and... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

What I hear, anyway, is that it's best to do all this stuff while you're young (but have finished growing) - you're more resilient and heal better. I know everyone means to be complimentary to this girl, but I wish the conversation didn't keep... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

The Wired article (after talking about how Graph search leverages one's "relationship with brands", god why are people such suckers on the internet, you do not have relationships with brands) talks about how this can be used in... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I think you've just given yourself away as living in Minneapolis. I don't think Chicago suburbs have rings. Yes they do! What do you call Oak Park then? (Which is not where I grew up.) "Inner ring suburbs" are the first couple... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Minnesotans couldn't imagine moving away from family/support networks to live somewhere new. See, I actually moved to Minnesota and stayed - voluntarily! - and the "Minnesota" that gets described in these articles is never... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Can you check in with another faculty member or your department head to get guidelines for how to respond? Particularly if you don't have tenure/are adjuncting or are in some other way vulnerable (visibly GLBTQ? Person of color in a majority white... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

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