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I'm still waiting for ultra-wide-leg jeans to come back. I have a friend who didn't wear shoes for most of summer 1996 because her feet were always hidden inside her jeans. Interestingly, I think those derived from Northern Soul styles… [more]
favorited 2 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Also, of course, just what is revived varies. Everything that the fashion kids today are reviving as "grunge" is (with very minor exception) actually what we would have considered boring and risible back in the day, certainly not… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

(I should clarify that I owned a number of things not just from the JCP catalog but from the JCP clearance catalog - I remember one particular semi-cropped striped pullover, some vests and a pair of button-fly jeans. We were not especially… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I'm sorry, but no. I was widowed at 33. What happened to me was shitty, and was definitely Loss and Tragedy, but I am in no way damaged. But society kept telling me I should be, so it took me a hella long time to realize that I wasn't, and maybe… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

You should read Gene Wolfe's Book of the New Sun. It pulls together a lot of threads - it's set in a far future (no really) "dying earth"-style world with sorta-medieval elements (swords, guilds, no telephones, picturesque attire, exotic… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

In a weird way, this makes me think of the lack of care given to young women of color in the music industry whose personae are based on exaggerated sexuality. Miley Cyrus is named in this letter as a vulnerable young woman and this is, I… [more]
favorited 65 times
MeFi comment - Last year

With most of my intimate friends, the intimacy is not constructed out of secrets. That's not to say that we never reveal secrets to each other, but the friendship is built rather than transactional. Like, we're close because our… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Why does it sound so unlikely that that individual Hopi member who first sold the masks may not have made masks themselves and sold them to traders, realizing that traders found them valuable? And if the Hopi claim is that they held property in… [more]
favorited 21 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I want to add that only you know if this is drama-llama stuff or not. If you really, truly hurt the guy intimately, frankly it's not "drama llama" to be unable to forgive that. There were a couple of things that were done to me in… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Maybe you could productively explore whether you think that men and women can be friends/have platonic relationships. It sounds as though your assumption is that if he has any contact with a [straight?] woman, it's in danger of tipping over into… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

You might talk to your city council person about a permanent memorial on the site - they probably won't say yes, because there are a lot of accidents and violent deaths. You comment on "gentrification" as if that word is a… [more]
favorited 47 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

(Just to add - I have never heard that any closure was correctly followed by "Mr. Letter Writer", "Ms. Letter-Writer", etc. It would always be "James Letter-Writer" or "Mary Letter-Writer, PhD" or… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

How do you meet people you feel you click with? Your question really resonates with me. It took me a long, long time to make friends when I moved here, and even now, when I have friends, there are times when I am still so lonely… [more]
favorited 11 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I think there's this whole difficult-to-let-go-of logic of collecting and saving that gets tied in to the market and to fear of death. Leaving aside the colonialism aspect because it's been covered upthread - I think we have to let go of the idea… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Perhaps this is the place to mention that in a recent class, my professor (a grown man!) recounted that he had twice (recently!) been physically threatened by students over grades. This at a perfectly conventional large university and in a rather… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

"Birthday Cake" was a mix tape staple for me in college, back when my thirtieth birthday seemed really far away. Time passes. [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I am almost 40 years old. You make as much as I do (and I make more than almost all my friends). My benefits are probably better than yours and my job has no heavy lifting, but seriously, don't underestimate making good money. As a single… [more]
favorited 6 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

This really is so much like Oryx and Crake, only actually kind of worse. Pleeblands, here we come. Actually, what frosts me the most is that sure, Google will develop some kind of radical life extension and so on - for the 1%, and the same… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Also, honestly, in these days of super-sophisticated photography and other imaging, we don't actually need to have All the Artifacts to still provide a rich museum experience. It's nice to see things in the flesh - and it's important to be… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

It's in that spirit that I dislike this piece. It reads to me like a rejection of imagination and rapture and transcendence and an embracing of...I don't know, exactly, status and prestige. I'm not actually into Super Post-Feminist Girl… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

You're right that there's a lot to be known, but wrong that it's unknowable. When C. S. Lewis was 16, he met Arthur Greeves, who was his best friend (after his brother). They corresponded for literally the rest of Lewis's life. Obviously the early… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

This always bugged the heck out of me - the idea that Narnians know about Christmas. What exactly do they think they're celebrating? Shouldn't they be celebrating "Aslan-mas" or something? I really feel that this is a problem… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

What I mean about Girl Power Susan is that what she suffers always and only makes her succeed. It's like an equation. [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I work with someone who is unusually successful in their field, demonstrably brilliant and popular - and who has a last name which is routinely pronounced in a very unfortunate (and also incorrect) way by English-speakers. As socially skilled… [more]
favorited 8 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I think kids can "fight their own fights" if they're old enough to have metacognitive skills about social relationships and if they're coming from a place of self-confidence and support. Little kids need all that "you… [more]
favorited 5 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

If you're looking for the best cashmere scarf, you don't want an LE scarf - their cashmere is cheaper and tends to pill. Not to say that I'd turn down an LE scarf, just that if you're really buying for long-term use, that's not what… [more]
favorited 5 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

And, this is why the Cuban community didn't watch Lucy, and those in the south never watched The Andy Griffith Show, and bus drivers didn't watch the Honeymooners...... Oh, wait, they DID watch, they just weren't so thin skinned about the humor… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Perhaps this is a good place to mention Maria Nikiforova and her armored trains full of anarchists. Nikiforova was a great power in Ukraine in the years around the Russian revolution - apparently eclipsing Mahkno - but has largely been written out… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

(IME, people do leave, by the way. Even shouty people.) [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I started doing some yoga-derived stretches for my back and I "grew" about 3/4 inch - but this was because I had had some kind of messed up back problems before. If you have a lot of stooping/compression/desk-job-ism, I would recommend any… [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

This tumblr is one of the best tumblrs out there, IMO. It really uses the medium to the fullest, the writer is extremely smart and has great instincts for relevant scholarship, and the subject is just awesome on many levels, artistically,… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Here is something I wonder: Are you bad with dealing with strong feelings? I ask because I have a tendency to get all flat and "oh, I don't like ceremonies and I don't have a lot of close connections or strong feelings"… [more]
favorited 22 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Try to picture how this conversation would go. "Oh, yeah, I wear a size four too." "No you don't. You're much too big." "What?" "You're too big. When I look at your waist and chest, I can tell that… [more]
favorited 29 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

That Heiko Julien thing reminds me of the Sick Puppy story in Girl With Curious Hair crossed with Generation X with a little bit of Kathy Acker and her general cohort. That is, I don't think it's new in some kind of… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

THAT SAID, I’ve been saying on MeFi for actual years that if you know any young people who’ve grown up with social networks as a way of life it is sort of astonishing how interesting and witty and sharp the a lot of them have turned their local… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Will this be another thread where we all humble-brag about how we don't really care much for refrigeration and would be happy with a dorm fridge did circumstances permit? I like having a decent sized refrigerator. I do not like… [more]
favorited 243 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Bring a cooler for the food - let those who want to eat the Indian food eat the Indian food, and let her know that you're looking forward to junk snacks. Here is a thing: often on metafilter people give advice that's basically "each table… [more]
favorited 113 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Have you ever lived in a culture dramatically different from your own? It can be pretty stressful and intense, although fluent English is probably a help. It's quite possible that working and living in the US (you sound US-ian, right?) and dealing… [more]
favorited 8 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I was thinking about this on the way home the other day, because so many things contour our perception of fashion and all kinds of rather ugly or at least unwanted sentiments can creep in. Clothing access, for one thing - dressing… [more]
favorited 11 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

It sounds rather as though you might want to read Put This On - here is a very short post on "IT dressing" and here is their take on the "essential man's wardrobe". Put This On is a pretty solid style blog in that it does not… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

It just so happens that I live with a guy who is somewhat older and somewhat larger than you, and we talk about clothes from time to time. In my opinion, he looks good in slightly structured clothes that fit well - so mostly button-front shirts,… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Okay. A sportcoat/blazer/odd jacket - those are all the same thing, a jacket that is not part of a suit. I am assuming in the advice below that your husband isn't going for some kind of Raf Simons or Yohji Yamamoto or otherwise really avant-garde… [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

No no no! Totally break up with this therapist! Transference is a two-way fucking street - the shrink's job is to manage that stuff, not berate you about it. The best-case scenario is that your particular personality and situation… [more]
favorited 24 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Also, bear in mind that if you bring this up, you are foregrounding how much time you are spending scrutinizing this woman's body, deciding she's actually a twelve or a fourteen, etc. You will come off as at least as odd as she is,… [more]
favorited 7 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I don't really understand the weird dig about baristas being "class-mixed" and I certainly am not going to get into one of those arguments about who is a "real worker" but I promise you that beard prohibitions are common in… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

A thing to remember: he is probably in love with you because you are straight, thus unavailable. In a sense, any unavailable person would do instead, because the whole point of the exercise is generally to create a kind of miserable stasis… [more]
favorited 14 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

The thing is, it seems extraordinarily unlikely that the Movember people thought "aha, let's reinforce traditional masculinity and racism under the guise of working on men's health." What they almost certainly thought was "we have… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

With large numbers of minority-ethnic men—for instance Kurds, Indians, Mexicans—sporting moustaches as a cultural or religious signifier, Movember reinforces the “othering” of “foreigners” by the generally clean-shaven, white majority. Imagine a… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

As you decide what to do about this situation, maybe you should make a list of things you will not do and things you do not want to happen. I know that when I am faced with a friend in need, it is very hard for me not to make promises… [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Shit, I am a USian and this statement seems ridiculous to me too. Saying that nothing that happened before 1750 "mattered" rules out not only the founding of all the worlds' major religions, but also nearly all the scientific achievement… [more]
favorited 24 times
MeFi comment - Last year

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