Activity from Frowner

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I know this is marked answered, but I want to point out that if you were to go and make a ton of money, it would change you. And you'd have to participate in grossly oppressive systems in order to do so, even aside from the effects on… [more]
favorited 5 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

This article bugs me because it fits neatly into the whole "a woman says this isn't sexist so it's okay!" tradition of take-downs performed on activist projects. A woman who has PTSD says that trigger warnings and internet feminism smack… [more]
favorited 14 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I think that the state should do the minimum of forced medical treatment, and that forced vaccination sounds like a real slippery-slope situation. I think that the more forced medical treatment becomes normalized, the more likely it is to be used… [more]
favorited 2 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I know, but I get one question a week here and since I don't really have any problems worth speaking of, I figured I might as well spend it to see if there's anything I can do to improve the efficency of my process. You are a stitch and a… [more]
favorited 25 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I am grateful that I have work, when many of my friends and family struggle to find it. I am star-crossed and truly blessed. The difference is that most of my family and friends struggling to find work don't have extreme amounts of debt to repay… [more]
favorited 35 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Why "pretend to"? What makes you assume that the writer is lying, that she's not being honest in her reaction? She actually said she did know the word for record sleeve, she just forgot it, because for her it was obscure vocabulary… [more]
favorited 7 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Also, once you have a good relationship with one kind of contractor, you can often ask that person for other recommendations. Your drywall dude will often know an electrician, for instance. (Or so I hear - I am my own dry wall dude and wish I could… [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Also I think it's kind of a curse to have a particular kind of youthful charisma - you get too much positive feedback from easily-impressed peers (because you have a lot of ideas and enthusiasm) and this makes it much harder for you to doubt yourself… [more]
favorited 4 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I want to go look at my old Bafflers from the nineties and see if the writing was like this and my tastes have just changed, because it seems like an oddly empty piece to me. I think the basic hypothesis is very Baffler/Adorno, and worth… [more]
favorited 5 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Now, this will sound silly - but I had exactly this problem and where normally I'd rely on referrals from friends, this was for eleventh-level arborist services and I knew of no one. I bought an Angie's List subscription and called the best-sounding… [more]
favorited 1 time
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

See, I'm not a choice feminist. I don't care, god knows, what other women do with their bodies. (And there's a whole other queer/femme women thing which really isn't being addressed here.) I think we might be addressing different parts of… [more]
favorited 10 times
MeFi comment - Last year

(I also think the "why are former-hipster 40-somethings playing kickball" is an uninteresting derail in the piece. First, because it's a generational lament of people just a bit older than me - folks who are not sure How To Be Old but are… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Have you ever seen what goes in a restaurant dumpster? Just as a point of clarification - among folks I know, restaurant dumpsters are not a big source of food for precisely these reasons. There are particular places where they will, for… [more]
favorited 1 time
MeFi comment - Last year

There's a somewhat more detailed Baffler article from 1999 on the same subject. My first Irish-pub-concept pub was this place in Shanghai that opened sometime in the early nineties, with real Irish workers all compleat. The rich UK expats… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I dunno, I know lots of people who dumpster dive; I've done it myself and eaten food dumpstered by others. You must not imagine it as "gas station sandwiches past their sell-by date"; think of it more as "slightly dinged-up lemons,… [more]
favorited 28 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Although I suppose he means well. I was a bit of a fool about a lot of stuff when I was twenty-two. I mean, I feel kind of bad for him because he's doing a project which is actually going to make it harder for broke people to get food in the long… [more]
favorited 8 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Would My Beautiful Laundrette do? The relationship between Johnny and Omar is a key plot point, but not in an "OMG this is a gay relationship" way, and the movie is really about class, race, immigration and Thatcher. [more]
favorited 1 time
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

This really is a fatuous stance to take. Where do you draw the line? I'm assuming from context that you're Caucasian--does that mean any food created by Caucasians is fine? Better stay away from Spanish food with its Moorish influences then. Or,… [more]
favorited 5 times
MeFi comment - Last year

The thing is, I feel pretty poor. I am not objectively poor like a lot of people are - I have a union pink collar gig and good health insurance - but I make meaningfully below the median and I'm always worried about the grocery budget… [more]
favorited 16 times
MeFi comment - Last year

But actually, I should have said all of this in a more positive "yes, and..." way when I responded to the blog. It isn't helpful to criticize something in language which seems to be saying "don't do this" when we're talking about… [more]
favorited 1 time
MeFi comment - Last year

What I was trying to express is that if a child is about to die, or will pretty inevitably live a terrible life, then one shouldn't necessarily let own's own self examination get in the way of trying to help that child. In other words, potential… [more]
favorited 5 times
MeFi comment - Last year

If you are interested in rich people hijinks in the seventies, I highly recommend The Beautiful Fall: Fashion, Genius and Glorious Excess in 1970s Paris. It's....well, it's a rather loosely structured book which is primarily about the people around… [more]
favorited 7 times
MeFi comment - Last year

If this is some kind of dissertation or final academic project - there's a strong possibility that Positive Group simply has a really different ideology than Negative Group. Positive Group are Lacanians, or reader response theorists, or really… [more]
favorited 39 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I must admit "owning lots of albums and never playing them" is much easier when you have CDs than vinyl, and easier still with all that newfangled mp3 stuff the kids have now. If nothing else, this is a good reminder to me that I should be… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Yes, I would also like to hear how you are doing! I hope that whatever you've been able to / decided to do is an improvement. [more]
favorited 5 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

The thing is - as I have learned - people start to think that you hate them if you never, ever go to parties with your partner, because even when your partner says that you hate parties they assume that you really just don't like them. They also… [more]
favorited 9 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I wrote that about tofu not because I've encountered critiques specific to tofu but because I've definitely encountered tumblrs - in general tumblrs I like and think are quite right on! - where it's pretty much "stay away from my food, white… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

And here is a thing: I would contend as someone socialized female that women are brought up to feel that attraction is a dangerous and charged way to related to the world, and we are brought up to believe that we are not active agents who… [more]
favorited 70 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I think "have" here might mean more like "believe" or "recognize"? [more]
favorited 5 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

A quick Wikipedia suggests that somewhere around 65% of Iranians are Persian - and I imagine more people in the capitol would be, due to regional differences - but it does seem like it's not nearly as much of a sure bet that someone in Tehran is… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

But if someone's inability to read about sexual violence means they can't read William Burroughs, Dennis Cooper, or Kathy Acker, then they should not pass a American Queer Literature class Wait, what? Seriously? Seriously?… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I don't agree at all. The argument, as far as I can tell, is "what we now call world literature is a very recent phenomenon, itself a product of the end of the Cold War and neoliberalism; there are other things which have been different… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Listening to this without any real preconceptions yay or nay, it has that Glee/High School Musical sound. But it doesn't. I strongly suggest several listens (I mean, if you're the sort of person who does several listens) I… [more]
favorited 24 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I can grumble with the best of them about the increasing number of administrators and part-time faculty in higher ed, but, to be honest, it's nice to have administrators dedicated to things like making sure Blackboard works, or that students are… [more]
favorited 10 times
MeFi comment - Last year

As an old person - well, old enough to seem old to you, by which I mean that I'm in my mid-late thirties - I'll let you in on a little secret: young people do not magically become totally sexually unattractive once you're out of your twenties. Nor… [more]
favorited 46 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

At this point in my life I don't believe that it's ethical for me to approach a woman in real life for basically any reason, because the likelihood that she will feel annoyed/harassed/threatened by me is so high and can't be reconciled with the… [more]
favorited 6 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

And seriously - one way of being a good queer ambassador is not taking a lot of shit. There's a big difference between being friendly and approachable and willing to do a certain amount of 101 and putting up with fear and discomfort due to… [more]
favorited 4 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Something that might be useful if any Western mefites are reading this - if a mod can post approximately where you are, there might be someone who would be able to give you a ride if you needed it - hopefully you won't, but it doesn't hurt to have a… [more]
favorited 4 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I lived in Beijing in 2001-2002 and it was nothing like this. At this time of year, it was all bright blue sky and winter wind, and even at other times, I never noticed anything really bad. There was certainly pollution - but it was much better than… [more]
favorited 4 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I haven't watched this yet - it's on my List - but this passage? Does not make me want to watch it (I still will, I swear). Prison is just like college, (except with bars and guards and no freedom) and it's a learning experience that everyone… [more]
favorited 60 times
MeFi comment - Last year

What are your long-term expectations here? Is this a guy who would be a great stay-at-home dad while you make a high salary, for instance? Is he a guy who could get motivated to run a household? I have a relative who has a mediocre work history -… [more]
favorited 40 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Have you thought of getting two bags? I mean, I carry a mid-sized "grown up" messenger bag (this one, although I got mine used on eBay) and while I have certainly gone on long walks carrying it, I would not care to hike with… [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

When I was your age I was just like you, including the worries. Right now, fifteen years on, I am able to be more emotionally present, spontaneously grateful, caring, etc, although I still need lots and lots of alone time. Here is the thing:… [more]
favorited 27 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

IME, really bad in-group culture and bullying is more common in the humanities, especially the snob humanities - comp lit, cultural studies, philosophy. I've observed several STEM programs in my work capacity, and while sometimes mentors/PIs can be… [more]
favorited 11 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Teaching him the lesson of "if you earn your own money it will just be taken from you later" might not be what you want to go for right now. This is what bugs me - if you take money the kid has already earned, you give the… [more]
favorited 39 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

One thing I learned from housing a friend who was in a situation similar to yours - in general, most people who have stable jobs and stable lives do not understand how hard it is to pull yourself up from disaster. They are not able to… [more]
favorited 81 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

One of the officers threatened Shelly with prison—a particularly terrifying prospect for a transgender woman, who would be sent to a male facility—and then offered her a way out: she could set up her dealer, Qasim Raqib, and walk free that same… [more]
favorited 3 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Maybe I should just start treating women like shit, since they seem to enjoy it so much? No. You need to meet more self-actualized women, basically. The women who "enjoy" being coerced (really coerced, not your basic… [more]
favorited 43 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I add that, as a broad generality, the "famous person cheats on partner and leaves them for someone younger" thing is not something that women generally do. I view this as more a function of patriarchy than anything else, but lord… [more]
favorited 8 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Do not move home. Your mother and sister have poor job prospects where they are; yours will also almost certainly be lousy. Your mother and sister are, to a degree, responsible for taking care of themselves. You cannot step in and do daily… [more]
favorited 33 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

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