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Activity from Frowner

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That's the trouble with these Oxbridge academics, they all present themselves alike. Lobster bucket. I mean, I own a copy of Chavs. I've sat around reading it. I've told people it was by Owen Hatherley. I may even have... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Try journaling! Repeatedly, for a long time! Access the memories of your childhood - where did you learn to be snippy? What was your family dynamic? How did you feel as a kid when you saw your family be mean to each other? Why did you develop... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I also seem to have some issues of rebellion tied up in flossing (and brushing too, for that matter). A lot of the reason I don't want to do it, besides the pain, is that "people say it's good for you" - and I don't want to just blindly... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Also, I notice that here we are discussing clothes and individual choice as if those things were the cause of poverty and inequality - once again, aesthetics and the fallacy of "choice" stand in for politics. That's... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Honestly, this is so wrong that it makes me question a lot of your other pronouncements on the subject. Lower-class teenagers dress to show off expense as much as possible. As was noted upthread, leaving the price tag on your $300 track suit was... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Mind you, we don't get those funny khaki pants here very much at all. (Which is confusing - to me khaki is a mossy green, not the colour of a bus seat cover.) You can spot a US tourist on the tube because they will be wearing khakis, into which... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

It occurs to me that in any given relationship you can think of the "expectations" as one big pool. Sometimes the pool is deep at one end and shallow at the other - one partner has a lot of expectations and the other partner has few.... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Owen Jones and Owen Hatherley are two different people, both writing on social issues from a left-wing perspective. Confusing, I know. How can this even be? They are both young blond white thin-faced men from the UK! I don't understand... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Probably worth thinking about in this context: Owen Jones, Chavs: The Demonization of the Working Class. Oops, I guess I did not see lucien_reeve's comment. Well, I guess I second the recommendation, then!... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I don't know whether there's any point to therapy, because I already reassure myself that my distorted thinking is causing these negative feelings and I actively try to adjust my thinking. I assume this is what someone administering CBT would do... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

(But solving ALL of her problems is not the issue. She lives in the UK. There's a good social net there. If she truly fails then the net will catch her. She'll learn. She'll adapt. But she can't start learning how to live her own life until she... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Vis-a-vis "but why can't I call you eloquent?" Tact is good and fine, but honesty is far more important. We've lost sight of that fact. "Honesty" is always social. I think one of the features of privilege is the... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

See, what confuses me about this kind of narrative is that it gets made over and over again. Yes, we know - unprepared people in new circumstances will obey "authority" even if the authority tells them to do bad stuff and isn't... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

So, Frowner, about what white people should and should not be saying... Thanks for the handy guide. Can you just verify the acceptable whiteness percentages? Or is someone thinking Ayanbadejo is a different kind of Black Irish? And, like, if the... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

He does contextualize it really well, though, Frowner, given what Burns said: Yeah, but there's still a sort of whiff of "you are a disgrace to the civil rights legacy of the state/our society", which is just not something... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

All good enough, although I really wish that white folks would not do that whole "anti-gay person of color, gay is the new black!" thing. It is very rhetorically tricky to compare oppressive situations without derailing or... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Hilariously, I thought to myself "this has to be either Jacobin or New Inquiry" and lo, it was! [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Oh, the saddest songs? The saddest songs are, in no particular order: Tom Joad The Water Is Wide/Wild Geese (Ann Hills, can't seem to find it online) A Pair of Brown Eyes, which is much sadder than Waltzing Matilda to me although it too has... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

You can make the case that that isn't necessarily as true of fiction as it is of technical writing, but it struck me as a good idea. And DFW is most definitely writing to impress his audience. How do you prove this? See, I find Wallace... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

You sound like you're conceptualizing dating in a really unusual way and I wonder what about your upbringing caused that. That's where I'd start. You sound like you're hung up on an abstract idea about a "check list" and... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Okay, this has convinced me that I am going to get an ereader. I love physical books and I don't like the idea of having no books if I break the reader or if, you know, total social collapse happens and there is no more tech support. But I hate and... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

> So this means that when you meet someone who refers to themself using they/them pronouns, To themself? Not "we"? See, this type of thing is precisely what I mean about not getting it. Look, I promise you... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Okay, I am feeling fiercely crabby this morning. But I will never, ever, not in a million years, be able to accept the singular "they." So this means that when you meet someone who refers to themself using they/them pronouns,... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

What would have helped me a lot was knowing that my parents (and, for preference the school system) had my back - that if there was a way to intervene and I needed it, they would have. Also, it would have helped if my parents had said "tell us... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Remember that your kid will also obtain benefits from growing up somewhere cosmopolitan - it's not as though your daughter won't get anything out of living in a city/college town. And unionized jobs with good health care? Your daughter will... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

New miseries, new potentials - that's what I'd expect. The point would be to take as much advantage of the new potentials as possible while minimizing the miseries. In which case, honestly, being aware of the "ooh look new shiny!" tendency... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I suspect that people are going to say that no one is ever "completely honest". How could we be? We're a constant mess of various thoughts and impulses, most of which have to be canalized so that we can function as a coherent self in the... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Chicken versus egg versus back pain
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Ask MeFi post - Last year

Not that it's not cute and charming, but it sure does sound like "while my wife is pregnant I will do three pieces of light housekeeping and refrain from making unnecessary mess, but once she has a baby to raise I go back to doing no light... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I don't know a better word for 'has a large vocabulary and uses it precisely'. If you have a suggestion, I'm all ears. See, this is where one needs a sense of social context. Yes, Obama is an extremely gifted speaker (and that's... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Er, that was perhaps a little too long. Sorry about that. [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Wear something your grandpa would have recognized as being in good taste and hope that civilization holds together enough that your grandchildren would likewise think so. My grandfather would have disowned me if he'd lived long enough to... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

The problem with stuff like this is, if you truly take it to heart, if you really feel the guilt like the authors intend that you do, you start to be afraid of opening your mouth and restrict yourself to speaking to people outside of your cultural... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

It's funny, "The Cool, Cool River" isn't sad to me at all*. In my head, I picture a people under tremendous pressure and moving towards revolution - it makes me think of the indigenous and labor organizers in Mexico, like in Chiapas or... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

It's really hard to make and keep friends, especially if you're at all introverted or awkward - I mean, it's hard for everybody. You aren't broken. A lot of people who seem to have many friends really have many friendly acquaintances. I... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

But the whole point of this kind of article, culturally, is to bully people into liking or disliking something through fear of being a hipster, of not being hip enough or of having their identity challenged in some way. Economically, it's... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I think, also, people are reading this differently from me, e.g. Frowner's summation of "I want to get laid tonight doesn't matter who as long as she's attractive enough that I can get it up" is not how I read it—I read it as "I... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Okay, this is probably not what you're looking for, but activists and punks do this all the time. Sometimes it's just one group of people living together and the name is temporary; sometimes the name lasts through innumerable tenants. Sometimes... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

In my experience it all seems a lot more okay when you're 18-19 and lack the life experience to know better and the men in your social circle are all telling you it's okay because we've known him forever and yeah he's a little weird but he's... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Oh, if you are looking for a relationship song that is sad, No Looking by the Raincoats has always struck me as pretty darn sad. It's a translation/reworking of a poem by Jacques Prevert, but it is about a million times sadder than the poem.... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

This is just off the top of my head, based on some journalism I did a while ago about the Oaxaca strikes and indigenous movements - it's not proof. But Oaxaca is an extremely heavily-policed state where many indigenous folks live in poverty and... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

What The Experts Say: The team has released their investigation to the public and for a limited time you can view a private airing of it online. Learn the steps you can take to prepare your wealth, investments and way of life for this looming... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Ooops, posted too soon. I've been reading the links round-ups at Naked Capitalism for a couple of years. The woman financial person who pulls them together seems to know what she's talking about and to rely on a good mix of sources, from... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I would have somewhat more confidence in this article if it didn't try to draw an analogy between this condition and "autogynephilia", that old canard about how trans women who are attracted to women want to transition as a sexual fantasy... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Samuel Delany actually wrote a fantastic and somewhat under-read series of, yes, sword and sorcery books (Neveryona, Escape from Neveryona, Return to Neveryona, one other one) in which the dominant people who run the fancy slave-holding,... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Oh my god, I read that Requires Hate thing linked upthread. This book is so much worse than anything I had hitherto read about it suggested. It's just un-fucking-believable. I swear - if you have not read extensive excerpts from this book... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I'd rather pay extra than submit my medical records to my employer - and in fact, next year I will be paying extra. It's demoralizing, but this is how I think of it: 1. I don't trust the average employer to keep private data secure 2. All... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Perhaps I shall tell you about my local Target. I live in Target's home town, and if I choose to bus to downtown Minneapolis, I can go to the palatial flagship Target on the main shopping drag, where they have everything plus a few extra... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

(I'd suggest that there are also 'whitesplaining', 'cisplaining', etc - that each word highlights the particular form of privilege in play, and that's why it's valuable. The dynamics that drive racism rhyme with the dynamics that drive... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I am not certain that unsourced suspicions about social services, and a sense that the people who work at them shouldn't get paid for their work, helps the homeless either. I can only offer the critique in The Revolution Will Not Be... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

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