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Activity from Frowner

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I've never, ever wanted a baby. My partner has never wanted a baby. I have a visceral reaction of panic and distress at the thought of being pregnant. I don't really understand how/why other women do it, but I recognize that this is my... [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I was just looking for a woman to share her experience without asking one of my female friends. thanks for contributing anyway. To digress a moment, I think it's actually kind of great that your first impulse is to gather data before... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I'm kind of a "when in doubt don't" person on matters of racism/cultural appropriation, so I would not wear such a costume. White/mainstream culture has a long history of treating voudoun as sort of an exotic prop even though it is a... [more]
favorited 4 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

But because girls have only been presented to you as first this "mysterious Other" with these weird, inferior interests (shopping, dresses, dolls, playing house) and then as sexual/love objects once you're a bit older - and not so much... [more]
favorited 41 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Living in the era of 'friends with benefits' and finding yourself locked into the role of friend without benefits is bound to be even more galling than usual. Anyone who finds it galling way over and beyond the call of friendship gets not a drop... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

awkward... really? did I accidentally Spoonerize? I do that a lot because I was raised in a profanity/innuendo-free household and a lot of words that are hiLARiously sexual to others aren't to me. Amusingly, some of the French I learned... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Thank you, aggrieved international, for recalling that the United States is not the world and that Americans (or shall I, in deference to your sensitivities, use the execrable "USians"?) are not global citizens. And yet, how... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Also, should we really be drawing such sweeping conclusions about a bunch of people aged between 18 and 23? Also, should we really assume that culture and socialization have nothing to do with how people experience their feelings and how... [more]
favorited 21 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Yes, interviewing a group of US college students in 2012 totally explains every social interaction between all straight men and women ever. Just think of the topics we can settle by studying these kids! I bet we'll discover that women expect to... [more]
favorited 66 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I just want to jump back in and say that I don't think this reads as humblebrag. I think it reads as "I have conflicting feelings about this situation - happy! anxious! shame! - and I get a lot of messages from my culture that my... [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Okay, I freely admit that I like meat analogues. I do. I love wheat gluten/mock duck-in-a-can, I really like those Tofurkey italian sausages, I am a total sucker for many of the mock-meat things you find in a large and well-stocked pan-Asian... [more]
favorited 31 times
MeFi comment - Last year

So wait, with this quinoa business - as I understood it, first world demand for quinoa was making it unaffordable to the Bolivian peasants who actually depend on the stuff and thus helping to shift them onto a crappy grainy diet. Won't declaring a... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

So I feel like you have some stuff in the back of your head that is like "if I go on this date I will have to Date Him" or maybe "if I go on this date I will have to hook up with him", like agreeing to meet up for pasta is some... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

As soon as you mentioned this, I immediately thought, "Wait, was the Spell of the Sorceror's Skull also by this guy?" It was, and I remember being very scared by that book back in grade school. THen again, Castlevania 2 scared me about... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

When I have thought people were older than they actually are, it's almost always been because I assume that they have authority and associate authority with age. I am 38 and there are people who are younger than me that I still assume are... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Also, as a woman who has had many, many male friends, I would be absolutely fucking astonished if even a fraction of them had any sexual interest in me whatsoever.... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

If the gay scene offers any insight, it's that the two are not mutually exclusive! And this is where the stuff flex was talking about - the part where straight dudes are raised to think that women are... [more]
favorited 13 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I'm much more worried about improper sharing of medical information with the employer, not the insurer. I tend toward the paranoid side, but I've decided to forgo the health assessment option at work - my employer has hired a really amateurish... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

And also there's this question of for whom. For whom is this story being reported? Is it for white people and the Hmong guests are a kind of sideshow? What is the purpose of this story? Why is this angle on this story being taken? Why is... [more]
favorited 4 times
MeFi comment - Last year

"I don't discriminate based on looks." I find it very hard to believe that a woman with this level of specificity in who she is looking for does not have a single preference when it comes to looks. That, to me, feels like further... [more]
favorited 36 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Whenever these questions get posted here, everyone sort of jumps on the people involved - it's dishonest to do this, the other person obviously enjoys having women "fighting" over him, etc etc. That isn't always my experience. I've been... [more]
favorited 32 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Freud? He's just wrong. Only brutal honesty will suffice now, I see. So I must sadly admit that I have only read parts of Anti-Oedipus and two of those little Semiotexte Deleuze/Guattari books, and my ability to talk about Deleuze is.... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

As it were. [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Sorry, how stupid do we need to be to pretend that this is a surprise? This is exactly what the NYPD, and police departments across the country, have been doing to citizens, but especially to minority men, since before I can remember. If you are... [more]
favorited 88 times
MeFi comment - Last year

And also, what about button-front shirts in femme patterns? If you're thin, you should be able to find men's vintage shirts from the 60s/early seventies that have lovely floral pattnerns (just look at this Brooks Brothers one - I would be all over... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

There are a whole range of expressions I picked up from books as a kid that hinge on "fair" as a conflation of white and good/beautiful: "He's the department's fair-haired boy so of course he'll get that section";... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

On September 24, 2012 Radiolab aired their Yellow Rain segment in an episode titled “The Fact of the Matter.” Everybody in the show had a name, a profession, institutional affiliation except Eng Yang, who was identified as “Hmong guy,” and me,... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Hi everyone--this is my first comment. I registered for an account because I've been waiting for years for someone to ask me this very question. A simply fantastic magical battle can be found at the end of the extremely under-rated,... [more]
favorited 4 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Willing to put up with a control freak who organizes her personal life around lists. Also, I have a beloved friend who organizes their life around lists, maps and charts. Having a list and strong standards does not mean that you're a jerk... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

This? Is pretty awesome. Although also sad, because people, it is sad that a woman has to specify "don't become violent", "treat women equally", etc. Those things should be like "must be carbon-based life form".... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Oh, I love the Otto Dix lady! As a short queer person of indeterminate gender, I feel that I look a lot like the famous pre-war Otto Dix self-portrait. So anyway. I threw a Cold War themed party for a bunch of radical history types - the... [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

And also, there are a lot of people out there who view their almosts and the people who had crushes on them as a sort of relationship-bank, from whence they can extract admiration and sex when they get bored. You were an "almost"... [more]
favorited 39 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

You should go in! You'll feel better about yourself, for one thing. Tell yourself that if it's really unbearable after X number of shifts, you can give notice and quit. Then see how it goes. If you really, really can't handle it, give yourself... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I am a woman and not only is being "treated as a woman" not really important to me, I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. Perhaps the problem was that I meant to write "trans women often feel" and did not... [more]
favorited 11 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Personally, I feel like there's an undercurrent in the essay of the the idea that male penetrative sex is inherently uncomfortable for women See, the sense I got from that part of the essay was "women are too non-revolutionary to... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

I had Lyme disease when I was 13 (and it was still new, exciting and there was much less fear-mongering on the internet). I had neurological symptoms and a course of IV treatment. I never found a rash and only discovered that something was wrong... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

The funny thing is that in broad terms I actually agree with the premise of the article - sex in a white supremacist capitalist patriarchy doesn't escape the norms of white supremacist capitalist patriarchy! The increasing respectability of sex toys... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

And I think people reading it as heteronormative, etc., are just reading it wrong — it's trying to diagnose all kinds of cultural assumptions about sex (implicitly assumed to be hetero, penetrative, etc.), but it's not endorsing those assumptions.... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

It is part and parcel of a larger issue I have been processing for a while now - what does sex look like in a truly equal society? What would female sexuality - and my individual sexuality - look like if it was not so deeply shaped by everything... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

It seems like the moral quandary has a lot more to do with how you write the story and the character than the events of the story. Like, is this going to have a jokey "all the men want sex all the time because they are such dogs, and it's so... [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I think the whiteness of Cook's Illustrated isn't necessarily "we never admit any furrin cuisine to these pages"; it's more how recipes are figured. Like, CI often "tones down" recipes to make them accessible - which is fine!... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Behind the completely unjustified snobbery and condescension of Kimball's attitude toward home cooks...lurks merely yet another male who wants to tell mainly women exactly what to do in the intimate settings of their private lives There's... [more]
favorited 3 times
MeFi comment - Last year

You keep doing this — you're taking a critical claim that, in An's actual article, is clearly about the way sex toys are sold We may just have to agree to disagree - I feel like this is a piece with a very deep underlying discomfort about... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

This essay, it is extremely hetero- and cis-normative! Also, I feel like it privileges penetrative sex as the most serious, authentic kind of sex! Like, real serious people have partnered heterosexual cis-gendered sex, analyze the power... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

That is very happy-making. So is the one that mattbucher linked. While we're on the topic of moon poems, here is another one that I have always liked: Sad Steps By Philip Larkin Groping back to bed after a piss I part thick curtains, and... [more]
favorited 4 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I know it's hard to let someone go without community recognition. And it's hard to have this secret! And it's hard to know that when G is gone, other people will wish that they had a chance to say goodbye and share their love and admiration for her.... [more]
favorited 11 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

When people say "I am not attracted to anyone of [race]", I always wonder what the hell that even means. Not even someone who was your ideal in every other way, both physically and personally? Not even someone who was really, really into... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last year

Here are some poets I like: Cavafy, one of the great modern Greek poets. WH Auden ("As I walked out one evening/Walking in Bristol Street/The crowds upon the pavement/Were fields of harvest wheat...") Adrienne Rich ("A woman... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last year

What I notice: that everyone hates it when other people can see things about them that they may not entirely intend to be visible; and that it is very easy to confuse "see" with "judge". I think everyone's first thought on... [more]
favorited 10 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Just to be clear - both L and I have taken care of loved ones who have died of cancer in the past couple years. Believe me, I know how it is and how to keep secrets. And this is also why L and I were able to talk to each other about it. You... [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

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