Join 3,496 readers in helping fund MetaFilter (Hide)

Activity from Frowner

Show Favorites Activity: Fuzzy | Precise | Popular
I don't know - I happen to have spent a good deal of time around a group of lower-income kids whose parents have less education. I've watched those kids play computer games and play regular games. I'm familiar enough with the group to say that some... [more]
favorited 16 times
MeFi comment - Last year

(Aw, thank you windykites!) If your friend is really sincere and just ignorant, maybe he would like to read some books? Can't Stop Won't Stop is supposed to be very good - it's about hip-hop generally. I also remember hearing good things... [more]
favorited 1 time
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Boy, I remember back in the Downsize This! era (otherwise known as what we used to think of as 'hard times')..."Clinton's created a LOT of new jobs, Joe." "Yeah, I have three of them.... [more]
favorited 4 times
MeFi comment - Last year

James Herriot's All Creatures Great And Small and the other books in that series. They are so comforting that even I, a gloomy atheist anarchist, find them pretty cute. The guy was a country vet in England during the late thirties, served... [more]
favorited 5 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I think reducing feminism to "choice" is an oversimplification. It relies on the idea that we all arrive in the world as robotic rational actors who never change, who always have perfect information and equal access to resources, etc etc.... [more]
favorited 32 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Gosh, we're all old. When did that happen? I mean, I'm younger than those guys, but they were the sort of Established But Young set when I was in college. The Death of Speedy is one of the best graphic novels ever. And the one all... [more]
favorited 5 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I would not give cash. I feel like cash is a gift that you give either when it's traditional, it's been specifically requested or when the giftee has fewer financial/social resources than the giver. My parents gave me cash for my birthday when I... [more]
favorited 1 time
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Okay, mefi rote answer - have you thought about therapy? It's got to be pretty traumatic growing up in a family driven out of their country by violence, even if that was in your grandparents' generation, and it's obviously affecting you out of all... [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Also, you might find it reassuring to read some histories of indigenous resistance movements or radical activism in Latin and South America. I'd say those are far better parallels with the US, or far better aspirations for US radicals - and even... [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Send her an email that says "Don't beat yourself up about it - it's fixed now and I'm not worrying about it. Cheers, Lesli212" Keep it VERY short. That will reassure her if she's sincerely seeking reassurance but not feed into anything.... [more]
favorited 15 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I feel your pain! I hate talking to strangers and when I go to the farmers' market I often end up with either nothing or twenty pounds of vegetables that go bad before I cook them. Here are some thoughts: 1. Get some 'snack' vegetables like... [more]
favorited 6 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I think it's important to remember that both men and women are socialized into how we/they experience sexual desire. I mean, the way you describe sexuality seems completely normal - as in reasonably common - but also the product of gendered... [more]
favorited 12 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Back off! You can, however, be friends in the long run. Reduce your contact either by explicitly telling the guy that you need to step it back because you have feelings for him or just by saying that you're really busy and being less available.... [more]
favorited 6 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

So what I'm seeing in these articles is this: 1. From the mainstream perspective, it's bad if terrorists destroy something for political goals but perfectly acceptable/inevitable for capitalism to destroy something to make money for rich people.... [more]
favorited 1 time
MeFi comment - Last year

I think there's a little bit of truth in this, but I also think that Tolkien is less of an innovator in that regard than we now tend to think. Wagner is an obvious precursor (heck, it's even a giant mythic saga about a magical ring of power!).... [more]
favorited 3 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I think that Frowner is right that his behavior doesn't necessarily indicate that he is consciously manipulating you, actually enjoying having two women "fight over him," etc. However, I think that Frowner's conclusion--Emotional affairs... [more]
favorited 12 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Of course, this was complicated for me by the fact that my dad was buds with the Hildebrandt brothers. He posed for a bunch of Tolkien calendars (that's him at the center of An Unexpected Party) and so our house was littered with Hildebrandt... [more]
favorited 5 times
MeFi comment - Last year

You'll be ready to be friends, perversely enough, when you don't find yourself strongly wanting to communicate with him on a regular basis. You'll think of him and have pleasant but not especially strong feelings. You'll think... [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Skygazer, I suspect that what you want is the Dehner tank boot--scroll down past the suede one. I had forgotten how sweet these look. [more]
favorited 1 time
MeFi comment - Last year

You think the seventies in Britain were a fun time to be trying to get a job? Go read some history. If my memory serves me well, you also rioted, organized, had a bunch of strikes and had a goddamn labor government. Plus the dole!... [more]
favorited 5 times
MeFi comment - Last year

You know, it's quite possible that Sara has some OCD-type issues, or some intense anxiety. (I say this as someone who used to get incredibly, agonizingly upset and freaked out if I committed a minor social faux pas - as it appears that she did (you... [more]
favorited 8 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

These shoes have glued soles, soles that have been worn through. A cobbler isn't going to be able to "replace the soles" the conventional way. A stitched shoe has a multi-layer sole - one layer which is stitched to the shoe and other... [more]
favorited 4 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I have no idea what this has to do with white people or middle class people or thrill seekers. This seems to be about one company, Vice, promoting another company's, Bethesda, product in a tacky way. It has to do with what I, a white middle... [more]
favorited 15 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Well-meaning friends seem to get convinced that the "problem" is that you just don't know where the dresses are sold See, a whole lot of the "you just need to take her shopping and show her how cute lacy underwires can really... [more]
favorited 18 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I may just be a confused American, but what I've looked at online does seem to be on aesthetics - are these aesthetics not choice-based? Here, at least, even the underclass or lower working class (through thrift shops and other such things) have... [more]
favorited 63 times
MeFi comment - Last year

The money/scanner thing sounds a bit like a hyperfocus/absentminded situation - it seems weirdly familiar to me, actually. I've had those moments. Once, I was at work at an old job on Halloween, passed a woman wearing really realistic cat ears and... [more]
favorited 12 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Just when you think that safe, secure, middle class, thrill-seeking, mostly-but-not-exclusively white people have plumbed the depths of self-centering tackiness and lack of empathy, they go and prove you wrong yet again. Oh well, at least this... [more]
favorited 4 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I guess for me the most practical concern is that if you use dated, racialized language you're going to create the impression among a significant number of people that you're clueless and have no gift for language. And that's going to get in... [more]
favorited 1 time
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Here is what I would do: 1. Go through the house and note all the big/obviously high-dollar items. Set a limit for "high dollar" - say, things that will net at least $50 when you sell them. Look at older/vintage clothes too,... [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Ask yourself why you're worried about this - I mean, it doesn't sound like he's given any indication that he's looking to leave you or unhappy with your relationship, so why are you worrying? (If you weren't worried, you wouldn't be wondering - it... [more]
favorited 9 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I don't care if you're young, old, rich, poor, black, white, man, woman, etc....but at some level I expect people in the working world to dress professionally. See, this is something else that I don't quite follow. In my experience, most... [more]
favorited 11 times
MeFi comment - Last year

People who are not in the UK might find Owen Jones's (formerly writing as Owen Hatherley) book Chavs to be of interest. It's extremely accessible and gives a lot of case-study stuff about how UK elites mobilize the concept of "chav" as a... [more]
favorited 10 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Okay, what I'm hearing here is that you don't feel like you're getting enough good time with your boyfriend. So my first question would be "how much time do you want to spend together?" Also, what kind of time do you spend together as a... [more]
favorited 12 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Although I dunno, I do hang around with a bunch of people who are all very fussy about stuff - I realize I'm writing as though somehow I'm a white person speaking for, like, a consensus of people of color, which is dumb. I'm really... [more]
favorited 1 time
MeFi comment - Last year

I guess the question is "what is film for? I know it's tempting to believe that film is for, like, serious study and reverence and constructing a narrative about cinema, and having a consciously complex and sophisticated response based... [more]
favorited 14 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Is there a way for you to get more information from her about why she doesn't want guys staying over? Is it that she is squicked by the sex/guy-wandering-around aspect? Is it a morality thing? Is it quite literally the "third... [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

That's the trouble with these Oxbridge academics, they all present themselves alike. Lobster bucket. I mean, I own a copy of Chavs. I've sat around reading it. I've told people it was by Owen Hatherley. I may even have... [more]
favorited 3 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Try journaling! Repeatedly, for a long time! Access the memories of your childhood - where did you learn to be snippy? What was your family dynamic? How did you feel as a kid when you saw your family be mean to each other? Why did you develop... [more]
favorited 1 time
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

I also seem to have some issues of rebellion tied up in flossing (and brushing too, for that matter). A lot of the reason I don't want to do it, besides the pain, is that "people say it's good for you" - and I don't want to just blindly... [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Also, I notice that here we are discussing clothes and individual choice as if those things were the cause of poverty and inequality - once again, aesthetics and the fallacy of "choice" stand in for politics. That's... [more]
favorited 3 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Honestly, this is so wrong that it makes me question a lot of your other pronouncements on the subject. Lower-class teenagers dress to show off expense as much as possible. As was noted upthread, leaving the price tag on your $300 track suit was... [more]
favorited 2 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Mind you, we don't get those funny khaki pants here very much at all. (Which is confusing - to me khaki is a mossy green, not the colour of a bus seat cover.) You can spot a US tourist on the tube because they will be wearing khakis, into which... [more]
favorited 6 times
MeFi comment - Last year

It occurs to me that in any given relationship you can think of the "expectations" as one big pool. Sometimes the pool is deep at one end and shallow at the other - one partner has a lot of expectations and the other partner has few.... [more]
favorited 40 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Owen Jones and Owen Hatherley are two different people, both writing on social issues from a left-wing perspective. Confusing, I know. How can this even be? They are both young blond white thin-faced men from the UK! I don't understand... [more]
favorited 1 time
MeFi comment - Last year

Probably worth thinking about in this context: Owen Jones, Chavs: The Demonization of the Working Class. Oops, I guess I did not see lucien_reeve's comment. Well, I guess I second the recommendation, then!... [more]
favorited 2 times
MeFi comment - Last year

I don't know whether there's any point to therapy, because I already reassure myself that my distorted thinking is causing these negative feelings and I actively try to adjust my thinking. I assume this is what someone administering CBT would do... [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

(But solving ALL of her problems is not the issue. She lives in the UK. There's a good social net there. If she truly fails then the net will catch her. She'll learn. She'll adapt. But she can't start learning how to live her own life until she... [more]
favorited 4 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last year

Vis-a-vis "but why can't I call you eloquent?" Tact is good and fine, but honesty is far more important. We've lost sight of that fact. "Honesty" is always social. I think one of the features of privilege is the... [more]
favorited 22 times
MeFi comment - Last year

See, what confuses me about this kind of narrative is that it gets made over and over again. Yes, we know - unprepared people in new circumstances will obey "authority" even if the authority tells them to do bad stuff and isn't... [more]
favorited 4 times
MeFi comment - Last year

So, Frowner, about what white people should and should not be saying... Thanks for the handy guide. Can you just verify the acceptable whiteness percentages? Or is someone thinking Ayanbadejo is a different kind of Black Irish? And, like, if the... [more]
favorited 6 times
MeFi comment - Last year

Page: 1 ... 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 ... 67