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I do think there's a shift in thinking about behavior from when I grew up - from a character-based model ("don't act cranky just because you're hungry; it is your job to control your affect") to a biological model ("you are cranky... [more]
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MeFi comment - Two years ago

As someone who's seen the same thing - do you honestly think it's the women being worried about turning their rapists over to a shitty court system, or do you think maybe it's the fact that some of the victims were being socially pressured not... [more]
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MeFi comment - Two years ago

I am a little puzzled by the cultural trend of snacks on demand for kids. Would I have been a happier and more successful child if I had been able to have a handful of trail mix every hour or so, as many of the little kids I know are? I... [more]
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MeFi comment - Two years ago

A systemic pattern of doing scary, hurtful stuff on (as far as I can tell from your post) purpose is abuse, whether or not it fits the conventional rubric. Also, breaking things and chasing someone - what the fuck? We aren't talking just... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Two years ago

Who says these are "on demand"? Kids get hungry between meals. To keep them from freaking out when they get low blood sugar you give them a snack. These pouches offer healtier options than the bags of chips my 1970s parents gave my... [more]
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MeFi comment - Two years ago

The Mars trilogy also emphasizes the political aspects of settling a planet - unlike some stories of colonization, it does not imply a unified, politically placid and basically benevolent Earth government behind the project. If your friend... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Two years ago

Remember to read bedbugger.com's product recommendations - which mattress covers to buy and so on. They've actually tested these things and there's a LOT of expertise in the forums. (Also, the wrong kinds of mattress covers don't actually keep the... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Two years ago

Vintage cashmere is much better than most things and a lot better than contemporary. Try Ebay - if you look around, you can often nab vintage cashmere sweaters for well under the price of new (although that's not really going to be the couple of... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Two years ago

If they can appropriate and internalize this corporate agenda that is not intended for them they can, in turn, reclaim a stolen psychic space. Okay, hold up. What precisely is the stolen psychic space that is "reclaimed" by... [more]
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MeFi comment - Two years ago

I wouldn't touch fanfic with a barge-pole otherwise, but my gods.... consenting sex with a woman? The fanficcers were nasty. Fandom contains multitudes. I mean, I can think of dozens of slash stories which contain het and/or in which the... [more]
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MeFi comment - Two years ago

I think we're all sort of talking past each other on this point? I mean, I don't think that there's any contradiction at all between a rape victim wanting their rapist to be prosecuted for the rape and not wanting the prosecution to turn into a... [more]
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MeFi comment - Two years ago

Wait, are you saying that even if Assange is a rapist, it is immoral to prosecute him because someone might want that prosecution for a different reason? Because I would pretty uncomfortable with a morality that gave political dissidents license... [more]
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MeFi comment - Two years ago

Delaney is a handsome fellow. Rumor has is that he is a bit stroppy in person, despite the winning charm of his writing. I'm really excited about this book. Also, I love The Mad Man - it's absolutely brilliant. I've seldom found... [more]
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MeFi comment - Two years ago

Everyone has a right to work in a discrimination and harrassment free workplace. Unless the poster is from a country that doesn't have those general protections, if she wants the issues addressed the best way to address that issue is through her... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Two years ago

Help me pivot the pivot table back!
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Ask MeFi post - Two years ago

I'd point that you have just argued that being forced to answer police questions is an excessive consequence for being accused of rape. Nope, it's just that I've seen two activist projects I cared about go pear-shaped because some alpha... [more]
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MeFi comment - Two years ago

You seem to have black and white thinking that paints women who stand up for themselves as CRAAzzzZZZZZZZyyyYYYYY girlfriends and that the other side of the coin is just to accept and rationalize whatever crap behavior you don't like until it... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Two years ago

Also, do none of these women who want to have sex with our alluring hero want to continue having sex after the one night stand? If not, why not? What does he do when they develop feelings for him? I know you can say "and he's totally... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Two years ago

Although you probably know this, I will say it anyway: gay life in the past varied hugely over time, across classes and between races. Plus a lot of other subcultural stuff. And then there's the whole question of when "gayness" comes into... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Two years ago

Looking at your previous questions, it seems like your family situation is pretty difficult. I come from a family that is very strict about certain things - my father too would totally get his beliefs tattooed....except that tattoos are crass,... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Two years ago

I figure I already brought it up once, ball in his court, so I don't text him again. You know what? You should be direct. All this "the ball is in his court so if I contact him he will think I think we Have A Relationship and that... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Two years ago

I think it's possible that some folks - especially male folks - may not have experienced the sustained, socially-inappropriate attentions of a creepy guy. It can be really stressful and it often escalates. Not only are your lunches no longer... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Two years ago

I'd add "accept that you're going to be a little bit uncomfortable in the conversation" - don't be under the impression that there's a hack that will make talking about something you don't believe in and your friend does totally simple. It... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Two years ago

I think this is pretty neat. I also liked the close reading of the video in the last link. It is important to note, just in case anyone who is reading this doesn't spend a bunch of time on theory, that "dadness" has the same relation to... [more]
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MeFi comment - Two years ago

All scientists are mad, really.
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Ask MeFi post - Two years ago

Several narrative issues that I often see in this conversation: 1. The desire to narrate a linear past - ie, "the working poor have always eaten well until [THING] went wrong", whether [THING] is positioned as large corporations... [more]
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MeFi comment - Two years ago

What power? To decide which laws it will enforce and which it won't? Many liberals, including me, were pretty upset by Bush's signing statements because it was a massive power grab. Actions like this are no less of a power grab. How would you... [more]
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MeFi comment - Two years ago

This is probably imperfect advice, since it's based on my time in mainland China some years ago (but I'll leave out the really dated stuff): 1. Are you bigger or taller than the average Hong Kong person? Are your feet? Plan to bring extra shoes... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Two years ago

So what I'm seeing in this article is that a lot of the traction that the fundies have here is because the old secular regime was so corrupt and terrible - people who have a lot of emotional energy and a lot of anger about the secular regime... [more]
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MeFi comment - Two years ago

I too am tired of the perpetual idea that kids these days have it "too easy", are solipsistic, etc. It's very easy to think - once you have some adult perspective and a little bit of security in life - that kids should have those... [more]
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MeFi comment - Two years ago

Vis-a-vis the towels, since everyone else has much bigger/better suggestions: the best way to manage paper towel use is to install paper towel dispensers that dispense one towel at a time (rather than releasing a wodge of them or unspooling a long... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Two years ago

The thing about Health At Every Size? Is that we know for an absolute fact that permanent weight loss is so difficult for most people as to be almost impossible, but that exercise and good nutrition are possible for many people. Plus... [more]
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MeFi comment - Two years ago

You too can have bland middle brow tastes just follow this easy guide! I think it's not so much about bland middle-brow books per se - nothing wrong with Anna Karenina, for instance, and although I think Villette is more interesting Jane... [more]
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MeFi comment - Two years ago

Oooh, now is the perfect time to tell my Junior Great Books story! Was anyone else in Junior Great Books? It was a gifted program that met weekly and had its own book every year - it was around during the eighties. I remember nothing of the stories... [more]
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MeFi comment - Two years ago

I wonder why the books chosen for teenagers to read in English classes are always so unsuitable. I loved to read, I read a great deal, I read far ahead of grade level and I was a fairly sophisticated and culturally literate reader - and I still... [more]
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MeFi comment - Two years ago

Returning to this at 5am, I have a fresh perspective - and it's sheer amazement that adults in the allegedly free world are discussing forced doping of a woman athlete because she is a good runner. I also wonder whether this would have... [more]
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MeFi comment - Two years ago

I have this (although usually when my eyes are closed) and my eye doctor told me that for some people it is part of the aging of the eye - the vitreous humor is condensing (or clabbering or solidifying or getting all old and icky-like) and pulling... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Two years ago

While that's what she wants to do and arguably something she should be able to do, she is not undergoing, "forced body modification'. She is going through voluntary body modification. On a related note, there's actually a series of... [more]
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MeFi comment - Two years ago

Well, it'd be kinda bad if bio women couldn't compete in women's athletics because the field was dominated by transgendered or transitioning men, right? This would break the system. It would actually be kind of awesome for that reason.... [more]
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MeFi comment - Two years ago

If you're not comfortable imposing a requirement of having surgical, hormonal, or otherwise medical treatments done ... what stops me? And what prevents men from putting on dresses, alleging as how they are trans women and going into... [more]
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MeFi comment - Two years ago

Okay, yes, it will suck that this guy will be used as a stick to beat other gay folks with. But! Isn't it exciting and wonderful to think that sexuality and subjectivity are so complicated and strange? Isn't it great to think that we don't have... [more]
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MeFi comment - Two years ago

Cars rarely get infested, perhaps because bedbugs like to lurk in bags and clothes except when they are actually biting. However, if you're really worried here's what to do: Pack your stuff in several smaller, softer bags (perhaps duffles).... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Two years ago

Also, look, I don't want to judge other people's sexual arrangements from a political tactics point of view - that way lies madness. I don't want to think " I have to disbelieve or condemn this dude because what he says will be used against... [more]
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MeFi comment - Two years ago

In the event that child admitted that he had not used his/her skill, the teacher said,“How sad that you let him get away with it.Do you suppose you are going to continue to let him get by with it or are you going to use your skill? It’s your... [more]
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MeFi comment - Two years ago

What possible good reason could this fellow have for wanting this information? We could speculate about all kinds of awful reasons, but it's very hard to come up with good ones. If he is haunted by guilt (let's hope it would be over... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Two years ago

It does lead you to wonder. I live in constant dread of someone thinking that I am hitting on them and then being appalled when I'm really just chatting idly and without intent. In particular, I worry when I talk to people who are younger and/or... [more]
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MeFi comment - Two years ago

Could be that a shelter, a roving safe-sex program or some other social service is giving them out in kits with other small personal stuff. A lot of those places get donations of small free items like tiny floss kits.... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Two years ago

Do we really prize accolades over achievement? How would one prove this? (it's not enough to say that there are more accolades - not only can all kinds of forces drive this (marketing, fear of lawsuits) but that doesn't prove that... [more]
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MeFi comment - Two years ago

You don't care what the Mexican government does and what their policies are? Even if those policies are causing the poverty which causes elderly indigenous women to sell trinkets to tourists causing you such distress? CAMPO, linked above, seems... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Two years ago

Why not call the department and explain politely that you would like to see your final exam as you have some questions about how it was graded? Again, I emphasize being polite and low-key. It seems perfectly reasonable to want to understand why your... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Two years ago

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