Activity from Frowner

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Of course it's not justifiable to murder your [autistic] kid. I feel like there's always a missing term here, though - what does it do to a person to be under incredible stress and in fear of violence for years and to have no hope... [more]
favorited 77 times
MeFi comment - Last month

(As far as I know, Benjamin committed suicide on the very plausible belief that he was going to be turned back at the Spanish border by the Franco government. Adorno died of heart failure mere days after he was heckled and abused by a bunch of... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last month

The Apple representatives have talked to technology providers like HID Global and Cubic, which enable secure access to buildings and transit fare systems, respectively, said people briefed on the discussions. Spokespeople for the companies... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Every time you think of the guy, short-circuit the thought and tell yourself "nothing is ever going to happen with him, ever; he is not interested". Often, folks get stuck where you're stuck because they do not want to accept that nothing... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Oh, and I second urufu's point. One big thing for me (and for you?) is that I learned early to figure out what I should be feeling and think that I was feeling it. I could easily see myself being really mature and cool about a date being a... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I had/have a lot of trouble with feelings, although I didn't realize this until relatively late in life. I found therapy immensely helpful, but it is a big commitment (in at least time and maybe money depending on your insurance) so if you don't... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

The money/scanner thing sounds a bit like a hyperfocus/absentminded situation - it seems weirdly familiar to me, actually. I've had those moments. Once, I was at work at an old job on Halloween, passed a woman wearing really realistic cat ears and... [more]
favorited 13 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

If he is so improved now and has seen the error of his ways, he will be a wonderful partner for someone new, someone he has not hurt and worn down. Even if you improve and change, you aren't entitled to start anew with people you hurt.... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Not that I don't dislike thoughtless, selfish people, but it might be worth considering whether tossing someone into the awful American prison system is really an especially good idea. There are loads of people who do things that are worse and... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Destination Venus by the Rezillos is the best SF-themed pop song ever, sorry. Surely we also count much of OMD's Dazzle Ships and The Golden Hour of the Future.... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Everyone is just astounded when they and their friends get old. For me it was that my parents had this whole narrative of "Frowner you are so old, you are Too Old for [trick-or-treating at 12; going back to school at 24; behavior that... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Well, the most expensive and disruptive actions that the Soviet Union could have done are launch a full on attack on Western Europe with the largest armies in the world and/or launch a full on nuclear attack on the West with thousands of... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

That can be really tough, especially if you ancestry is spread across many countries. I have Irish, British and Bavarian ancestry, and though I do look shockingly similar to Ludwig II I feel no real connection to any of those countries. My roots... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Here is the thing: you are insecure about your ability to be an adult, because you are still getting used to being successful at it. (And good job, by the way - I struggle with some of the same type of things in terms of upbringing and lack of... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Ummmm, screw that affluenza shit. Someone who messes up national parks like this is at least as deserving of jail time as a large percentage of people who are currently being jailed. Yes, and actually the very point of my comment was... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

In the context of the Cold War, and both being self-professed Communists, it sounds to me like MI5 were just doing their job. If one of them had turned out to be a Soviet spy (as Sir Ivor Montagu, the inventor of table tennis, did), it would have... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Yes, you should call her to clarify. Absolutely. You made an innocent mistake that sounded pretty bad. I've done the same thing (with very different specifics) and calling and talking it through was the right thing. "Jen, I wanted to call... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

And if only you were wintermute instead of wintersweet, this post would also be eponhysterical. [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I just now happened across this little review of some Bread and Puppet pamphlets, which I'll quote since it's short and I can't link to the individual bit on nplusone: In 1963, Peter Schumann founded an experimental activist puppet theater called... [more]
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MetaTalk comment - 2 months ago

Why wouldn't you put kalamata olives on pizza? That's what I'd like to know. [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I never approve of anything and am always ready to find the reason why something you like is politically unsuitable. [more]
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MetaTalk comment - 2 months ago

I never heard of taking one's shoes off in the house as a regular thing and was surprised as an adult to encounter so much moralizing around it. (I wonder if it's a class thing - everyone I know from the "shoes off or you're an uncultured... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

That's what confused me (cis male, so in many ways doesn't matter what I think) about this. If it's a safe space for women, it's a safe space for women. If you're a trans man, you're not a woman, isn't that sort of the whole point of how everyone... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

(I actually have my own amusing tangent on that flaming-puppet thing - I was there with a friend, and at first the whole crowd was just standing there in shock looking at these two-story-tall flames leaping up out of the crowd. We were both... [more]
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MetaTalk comment - 2 months ago

It seems to me as if what autistic people and advocates for autism are worried about in these conversations might have to do with the pre-existing lack of "normalizing"/positive/complex portrayals of autistic people in our culture, so that... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

If I am spending £200-300 on a pair of shoes I expect them to be made to measure. Is that a reasonable expectation, or would I have to pay more for that? That's not quite possible how you mean it. Truly made-to-measure shoes require the... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

IMO, it's difficult to compare US-made shoes like Aldens and AE and Walkover and Rancourt to English-made shoes. English lasts and sizing are different, for one thing - you can take a brogue boot from Alden and it will be...um...blobbier and... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

So... say I'm in London for another week and I wear a US women's size 7.5 and love queer/gentlemanly shoes in my size that hold up forever. Do these brands make stuff that small? The folks selling Aldens laughed at me when I asked in Michigan,... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Maybe the heterosexual dynamics are different. But in my experience with men, it's more than possible to stare at one's partner and be blown away by how beautiful they are without said action being dehumanizing or leading to sexual coercion. I... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

If you haven’t heard them, statistics suggest that you will enjoy their cover of “I Heard It Through the Grapevine” and nothing else. Indeed. (I mean, I like "Shoplifting" and "New Town" a lot.) I have lost my... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago


I wonder if in bigger cities people could do a furniture co-op of some kind and buy from the manufacturers and sell at cost-plus-renting-a-distribution-space. As far as this ""$1500 sofa" business goes - part of what frosts me... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Part of the grim surprise is the way that the age of your music collection creeps up on you. No, the trick is to have been collecting old music from the very beginning. Then your music collection has always been old. Although... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I kind of think this is how people who were 40 in 1996 felt about 25-year-old me's love of Belle and Sebastian; like "you LIKE this? This stuff with strings tenderness that sounds like the worst of the 70s easy-listening music we developed... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I always assume that I am being unconsciously influenced by the ads that I see, or that I am simply picking up brand names - so that when I go to the store, even if I don't know anything about the different brands of crackers or whatever, at... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I'm not sure if you mean "cool new music" as in "just released" or as in "new to you" here but the most fun I have in record stores these days is hunting through old stuff I've never heard of before. In this... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

(I mean, I just can't hear new music the way people who are tuned in hear it - there's obviously a lot of there there, but I can't access it.)... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I think most people have the entirely correct understanding that they're too boring and unimportant for anyone at Whisper itself to try and blackmail, and that the people they know in real life who might be enticed to do so are far too... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Does your boyfriend struggle with anxiety, especially about being very precise with language? Is he reluctant to promise about other things, or to say things like "we will definitely go to Maine next June"? I could see a certain type of... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

We had one year where we had about a million boxelder bugs and they got in the house - for some reason they really liked the back steps that year. After that, I've only seen them occasionally. Check and see if there's a particular window or other... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

The worst real-life example of this I've ever seen ....was a production of Moliere for high school students with rap interludes. This was in the early nineties, a production by a (completely white and very obviously not part of any... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

You know what I think? I think you should wait a little longer, until you get the job situation sorted out and until you see if this headshot business pans out. You're under a huge amount of stress because you've just graduated and are unemployed -... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

(That's why Frowner emphasized "legal immigrants I emphasized legal immigrants mostly because I wanted to highlight that the attitude toward immigration needs to change - there will be undocumented people here (so I really should have... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

And then I started wondering - exactly what is this downswing in the birthrate going to do to Social Security 20-something years from now when I retire? Of course, one could just allow in a bunch more legal immigrants, who are very... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

How does anyone delude themselves into thinking that any company anywhere has their best interests at heart? This isn't exactly the question that I have, because since so many people do it, it's obviously not just "lol... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I think that a lot of critique of sex work hinges on a belief in a stereotypical and unlikely kind of "romance". No one would be saying that this girl is damaged or too transactional or whatever if she'd let some clown persuade her into... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I don't know - as a masculine-of-center person who does not identify as a woman, I am really uneasy when trans men and other trans masculine people not only assert our right to be in women's spaces but consciously or unconsciously take advantage of... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Well, in the past couple of years I've gone from dressing in a really sort of hopelessly depressing baggy shirts and uninteresting pants way wherein I felt (I now realize) bad and hopeless and sexually unappealing to dressing in a sort of... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

As someone who is usually (incorrectly) read as a butch lesbian (and thus gets a lot of the same treatment that butch lesbians get), I find the hostility to this essay shown here suuuuuupppper interesting. One thing I've noticed -... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I mean, I have in many respects gotten used to occupying the social position of "woman". I see the flyers for the cis and trans women's bike repair nights, for instance, and it takes me a minute to remember that I can't go -... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

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