Activity from Frowner

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Ok, so those of you who don't want hugs - how do you signal this when a hugger approaches? I always have a hard time figuring out whether or not certain friends/family want hugs. Many people in my social circle - valuing good consent as... [more]
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Unless your job description is "concierge", you are not being paid to manage your colleagues' personal lives. I've been an actual secretary for much of my adult career, and I've been asked to do personal things for people...hm, once or... [more]
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We do a real disservice to kids with this attitude. I wish social skills were taught in an organized fashion just as we teach other skills, instead of leaving it up to families and peers. Be careful what you wish for - you just might get it.... [more]
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I think it's important to remember that both men and women are socialized into how we/they experience sexual desire. I mean, the way you describe sexuality seems completely normal - as in reasonably common - but also the product of gendered... [more]
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Surely you know that there are more than a few dudes excited by any of those things - also that this does not reliably indicate that they aren't dirtbags. Well, yes, but not as performances of successful, appropriate femininity. The... [more]
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Okay, what I'm hearing here is that you don't feel like you're getting enough good time with your boyfriend. So my first question would be "how much time do you want to spend together?" Also, what kind of time do you spend together as a... [more]
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Also, if you want to read a really interesting book about the UK in the seventies, which was when the groundwork was laid for Thatcher and her horrible ilk, you could do worse than When The Lights Went Out: What really happened in Britain in the... [more]
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I think that Frowner is right that his behavior doesn't necessarily indicate that he is consciously manipulating you, actually enjoying having two women "fight over him," etc. However, I think that Frowner's conclusion--Emotional affairs... [more]
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And of course, PA wasn't just, like, chatting on metafilter and making an off-the-cuff, oversimplified statement - the bar is way lower for those, IMO. She planned this, I assume pretty carefully. And that means hey, treat it like any big serious... [more]
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Is there an immigrants' association for people from your parents' background? Maybe they could help you navigate these visits? I have been to the ER a lot, some time ago due to an ongoing health issue and more recently due to a ridiculous... [more]
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Something I happened across from what I did not know existed, David Wojnarowicz's autobiographical comic: Words can strip the power from a memory or an event. Words can cut the ropes of an experience. Breaking silence about an experience can... [more]
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That...is a story so strange that I actually googled Martine Rothblatt to be sure she exists. "A powerful trans" is not the happiest phrase to use. On another note: I suppose all these rich people want to live forever because they... [more]
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That can be really tough, especially if you ancestry is spread across many countries. I have Irish, British and Bavarian ancestry, and though I do look shockingly similar to Ludwig II I feel no real connection to any of those countries. My roots... [more]
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It seems like "oh, there might be a man in the dressing room, we must avoid even the appearance of gender ambiguity" really does stem not just from not-thinking-of-trans-women-as-women but from not thinking of them as people.... [more]
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Several gay people I know think he's gay, and the rumours are based around I think that's kind of where the linked essay breaks down - it seems to suggest that there is this utopian now, where there's perfect transparency, that KK is famous... [more]
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The way you write this, there's an undercurrent of disapproval, somehow, that leaves me wondering: are you upset with your brother's wife? With your brother? Are you angry on some level that they got married only to have a divorce so quickly? Do... [more]
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(Crongratulations, you've just invented money. Just so that everyone is clear on this point - in theory this is how one "invents" money; historically this is not how money developed. If you were using a sharing system on... [more]
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These shootings are not new, though. As long as I have lived here in MPLS, there have been a couple every year. As I've said elsewhere here, I know two people who witnessed police shootings of mentally ill black men, one in front of his... [more]
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Using My Words, as Captain Awkward would say, and telling people that I'm happy to talk about it, but I need a bit of time to process and/or don't quite feel like I can hug them and make it all better yet. In these situations, that's when things... [more]
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Here are some things I have observed: 1. It is possible to have a need for work, family and partner relationships which will fail. It is possible to seek out, over and over again, men (these are all men, right?) who will criticize... [more]
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