Activity from Frowner

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I told my dad I didn't want to go. He offered to pay for plane tickets. I stood my ground. He acquiesed and later confessed, almost as an afterthought, that my grandpa didn't even really want to go in the first place....... [more]
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I do know that when I'm teaching, I get a lot better results with positive feedback than with negative feedback. And I also notice that group discussions go better when we steer away from the "this is bad because" line - what invariably... [more]
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Ask him why he needs it. It could be some kind of jurisdictional thing with food stamps, for instance - a friend of ours lost her food stamps for a couple of months when she moved counties because of the address change, for instance. It could be... [more]
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There is now in this country in my lifetime a pro torture constituency. Well, really, the only reason we remember a time when this basically wasn't true is because The Evil Commie Empire tortured people and we used to define ourselves in... [more]
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I struggle with something pretty similar, although there are some strong through-lines in my life and I'd say I've gotten somewhat better at follow-through over time. I guess I'd do some thinking about why nothing sticks - is it because... [more]
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What I'd like to know - will we ever be able to have a Ghostbusters film with two black Ghostbusters? (Or, for that matter, Ghostbusters played by other actors of color? That is what seems so freaky-deaky to me in all this. Even when I was... [more]
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I'd say that no marriage/long-term partnership really looks happy from the outside - at least I've never seen one. And yet I've talked to a couple of friends very frankly about their relationships and they value and want to preserve them, despite... [more]
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When I ask my friends for their opinion on my dating profile (coming soon to an Ask Metafilter near you), half of them say, oh, no don't include your unusual hobbies, you'll come across as too weird! But the other half say, oh, you must include... [more]
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Oh, also - IME, many men do twirly chivalrous nonsense only to women they consider attractive, or much more emphatically to women they consider attractive. This can end up tipping over into really unpleasant stuff about age, body size, gender... [more]
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"steering them away from prepackaged food and frozen vegetables" Unless someone plans to steer me toward an extra $100 a month, I'm going to keep eating frozen vegetables, thanks.... [more]
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Okay, so there's a huge pile of anecdata that says first, that you often can stop being bullied by punching the bully or in some other way hitting back; and second, that the bullied are still marked, years later, by what happened to... [more]
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I wanted to play the piano when I was four. So my parents got me piano lessons. I wanted to quit piano when I was four and a half. (And five and six and etc etc.) They made me take piano lessons until I was in 6th grade. A caution: I... [more]
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I have had this problem! And it's a two-fold problem, not just yours. Especially when one is young (and it's likely that you are, since the whole "you are so condescending with your big words and everything" bit is something one is more... [more]
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Can you just ask him? "Joe, I noticed that you left those notes about how I should be arriving at 8:30 - but when I was hired, I understood that as long as [conditions of work] was going well, I could arrive [whatever your arrival... [more]
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One thing you might want to bring up in therapy - are you sending signals that you will not set boundaries effectively, hence attracting creepers*? Can you learn some interpersonal skills to tip people off right away that you set your own boundaries?... [more]
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Perhaps someone in this thread will know the answer to this: About seven or eight years ago, I read an essay by a gay historian in which he theorized that Conan Doyle actually wrote Holmes with a lot of textual cues that readers were... [more]
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It sounds like a first step would be to actually meet her - or actually, your first first step would be to talk to the person who met her and find out why they invited her to stay and what they know about her. It's possible that this... [more]
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This is a very good point and actually why the US does not have diplomatic relations with Canada -- if we were to do so, Canada would be crushed under the ideological might of our ramshackle health insurance system and in two years they would have... [more]
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One thing I wish could happen at these protests, based on having been a white person at a number of them: I think someone (in consultation with the organizers and choosing the best person to say this kind of thing, whoever it is) could say, at the... [more]
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I just think it's a shame because there are lots of deeply passionate people that care a lot and might be a little more thin-skinned, less actively hostile, generally not as demonstrative, and interested enough to ask lots and lots of questions... [more]
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