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People who have degrees are socialized to display and measure intelligence in certain ways - they may or may not be able to recognize intelligence in people without degrees, they will talk in certain ways about "difficult" topics because... [more]
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The only problem I have with people saying they're vegetarian when they're not is that it gives people the impression that they can slip pork stock into my soup because they have learned that vegetarian means "does not eat large chunks of... [more]
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IME, really bad in-group culture and bullying is more common in the humanities, especially the snob humanities - comp lit, cultural studies, philosophy. I've observed several STEM programs in my work capacity, and while sometimes mentors/PIs can be... [more]
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I think it will become clear fairly quickly if this is going to work or not - give it a few more months. I once broke up with a smart, non-intellectual person because we didn't have enough in common...and it was exactly that. We didn't... [more]
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Oh dear, no, don't lend him money. I am a "Gen X spender" in that I can be a bit of a fool about money and have champagne tastes - but it would never occur to me that my SO should lend me money for any non-emergency, assume my debts,... [more]
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And I also really hate the electronic leash thing - the idea that I am socially obligated to respond to every text like it's some kind of drop-dead emergency even if it's just "oooh, did you see the pretty sunset?" Not to mention the idea... [more]
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I actually have a great, great rec, strangely enough - although this is not my fandom or sort of fic. All, all should read The Violet Hour, which is actually good enough to stand on its own two feet. (I mean, I read lots of fic that isn't good... [more]
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Self-care is important, yo. If you're already giving a lot in this relationship and you need some time to rest, don't go to the party. Depending on your relationship with her, either explain the situation and apologize or just sick out. I've been... [more]
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If you've been working on yourself (as you say), is it possible that you're not as in tune with these people as you were? Maybe your role in the group actually was "the difficult one" and now you're not so difficult anymore and the... [more]
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Okay, thirties-ish lower income person here. Not only is it always understood that folks pay for their own food at parties like this one, but I would be aghast if one of my friends felt she had to pay several hundred dollars to take all of us... [more]
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I was thinking about this on the way home the other day, because so many things contour our perception of fashion and all kinds of rather ugly or at least unwanted sentiments can creep in. Clothing access, for one thing - dressing... [more]
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This whole interview really bugs me. Look, I live in a crummy neighborhood--used to live on a corner which was written up in the paper as the city's worst, although I felt that was race-baiting and a bit silly. "Those people" are... [more]
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Oh my gosh, exactly. I'm always skeptical when I hear people say they were bullied for being smart. I mean, in a sense I was bullied for being smart, but that's not how I'd describe it. You could break it out this way: 1. I come... [more]
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How do you meet people you feel you click with? Your question really resonates with me. It took me a long, long time to make friends when I moved here, and even now, when I have friends, there are times when I am still so lonely... [more]
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I know it's hard to let someone go without community recognition. And it's hard to have this secret! And it's hard to know that when G is gone, other people will wish that they had a chance to say goodbye and share their love and admiration for her.... [more]
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to be acutely aware that women in general have a much shorter window in which men in general find them attractive But please be aware that this is a political statement - not an inherent truth. It's one of those internet observations that... [more]
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Oh, that's a thought: you might want to find some friends who are older than you and who will find your "wolf plus computer brain" approach gently amusing and sort of touching and who will always reciprocate because they feel that you need... [more]
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Another thought: your therapist is virtually certainly a mandated reporter, and the "mandate" is pretty strict. If your therapist understands that the kid is sleeping on the floor, I am surprised that this did not trigger a mandated... [more]
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Hi OP. I thought I'd hop back in because I notice that you responded to the one comment in all the list that was accusatory towards you, the one comment which suggests that you are lying to yourself, making excuses, etc etc, and should have... [more]
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Hold up, Code Monkey! Okay, here is the scoop, from someone who is probably a lot like you: don't stop talking to her. Don't refer to the love incident, either to apologize or to expand. Just carry on as normal, and invite her on a capital-D... [more]
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