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It's been 27 years since I was that 10 year old. I'm still dealing with it. I still have major issues with hypervigilance and "self-security". I still have issues with dealing with the anger of others, or confrontation. Not just physical... [more]
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Also, as far as the argument given above that this performance is for politically unsophisticated white people who are unlikely to care - I have done a very stupid thing where this logic was in my head. Well, not that logic precisely, but definitely... [more]
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Okay, this is probably not what you're looking for, but activists and punks do this all the time. Sometimes it's just one group of people living together and the name is temporary; sometimes the name lasts through innumerable tenants. Sometimes... [more]
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I would go with gently used shoes on Ebay or via a consignment store. I know that squicks some people, but if you seek out reliable sellers and make sure there are lots of pictures, you can do quite well. I've bought a couple of unsuitable pairs... [more]
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I immediately think of this as a way to gather/log political information without needing an informant - who attended a meeting? Where are meetings routinely held? Where are protesters likely to gather? Ultimately, this is the sort of thing that I... [more]
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The thing is - as I have learned - people start to think that you hate them if you never, ever go to parties with your partner, because even when your partner says that you hate parties they assume that you really just don't like them. They also... [more]
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I always figured that success was what basically went wrong for both Cobain and Love--they were born to be well-known local rockers, the kind of people who still get pointed out at the bar when they're 45 and still play the occasional benefit show at... [more]
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You know, now that I think about it, it might be useful to consider why one gets visibly checked out (as opposed to discreetly). I've had very, very few experiences with this, which I used to read as meaning that I was ugly, and I used to feel... [more]
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So...this is a squat, right? And that's why nothing works, and your housemates don't care, and there's no landlord and you can't run anything power intensive. And for some reason (desperation? social disconnect?) you're not plugged into whatever... [more]
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Also, people sometimes do google or otherwise seek information about interesting people on forums...and by "people" I mean "I have occasionally done this because I wanted to see if they'd written anything else or posted anywhere... [more]
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If your parents are major donors - like, seriously major donors, not just $1000 here and there - then you go talk to the Dean and you say something along the lines of "my family and I have always valued Posh Liberal Arts College, so I have... [more]
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And it is "trends" like this that make me never, ever want to have sex again. When I get past the depression about how I'm inadequate, I'm just filled with rage that the world really, seriously expects me to spend all this precious time... [more]
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There is just an outside chance that she's not mad at you but scared and embarrassed. Is there some reason why she might think of you as intimidating or cold or judgmental? I know that when I am worried that I have offended someone (or that I am... [more]
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This....does not sound like a great idea. You sound like you don't especially want to be friends with him, for one thing. You also sound like you're lonely enough that you might possibly get pulled into something with this guy out of inertia.... [more]
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Here is what I would suggest: a good therapist. You need to work through this stuff - where do your feelings of ugliness come from? Why do you hang out with such fucking jackasses? (That "and they are disgusted by my sex life" thing -... [more]
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Oh, don't go back to school! You'll spend a lot of money, spend years out of the labor market and run up a lot of debt with no guarantee of a job. (Unless you just don't have a BA, in which case, yes, get a BA) There are lots of menial jobs that... [more]
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Ask yourself why you're worried about this - I mean, it doesn't sound like he's given any indication that he's looking to leave you or unhappy with your relationship, so why are you worrying? (If you weren't worried, you wouldn't be wondering - it... [more]
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So you're teaching and you have a part time job? That's the scoop? You know what? I think what you're doing is, qualifiedly, fine. I think that a lot of people are brought up to see work as morally important in itself and that this underlying... [more]
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If he "remembers" the pretty girls and does not remember you...well, I've met people like this. It's not so much a "power over you" thing as a "I only bother with things/people that I want something from" thing. (As a... [more]
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At the same time, this would never be okay if a white person did the same thing. No matter how many black people ever mistreated a white person during the course of his life, he would never, never, be okay saying something like that.... [more]
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