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I'll echo the "don't". I'm sort of troubled by the way "diverse" seems to be code for "people of color" and "poor people" in your question, and the way those things translate into "likely to rob me with... [more]
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I envision imaginary homes (which might solve your "favorite home feels far away" problem). They're all impossible - an ocean-going floating pavilion, a house carved out of a mid-ocean rocky cliff, a sequence of loggias built along a... [more]
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I work at a large university. The way to get past the HR system here (except, alas, for the apparently-eternal hiring freeze) is to make sure that your resume matches the job requirements. Someone can forward his or her resume to me,... [more]
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Oh, you know - I remember one night years ago where I walked home at about 4am through a "bad" (my) neighborhood wearing a skirt and these really absurd extremely high mid-nineties fetish heels with a platform under the toe, and probably... [more]
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Something about "I didn't look very good before and he turned me down; now I am thinner and dress better and he's attracted" doesn't sound very good to me, at least not for a serious relationship - maybe for something casual. It's not... [more]
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1. The author's experience is obviously rather particular; different social groups experience this rather differently. 2. Women are encouraged to be enforcers of "good" behavior - to say "oh you're terrible!" when somone makes... [more]
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All that "click" means is that there is something in your personalities that...effervesces, that reacts strongly together, that you meet each others' needs in some strong way. I've definitely had situations where the... [more]
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Wake me when one house in the Hamptons has been burned by a mob, or a banker thrown out the window by his own employees. Or, in fact, when anything happens at all aside from some nice stencil work on the sidewalk, maybe a newspaper box set on fire,... [more]
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Oh, don't go back to school! You'll spend a lot of money, spend years out of the labor market and run up a lot of debt with no guarantee of a job. (Unless you just don't have a BA, in which case, yes, get a BA) There are lots of menial jobs that... [more]
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We keep almost all those things (except the eggs, salsas and cheese) on the shelf. I can testify that sriracha is fine with extended non-refrigeration, in particular, as are molasses, maple syrup, hoisin sauce, jam (throw away jam after a few days?... [more]
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I'd suggest making sure that your dates are dates - that they're not pick-ups or hook-ups, that is. When you meet a new person at a bar/party/etc, set another time to meet - don't just trail along with him. If you're using OkCupid or similar,... [more]
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I would go with gently used shoes on Ebay or via a consignment store. I know that squicks some people, but if you seek out reliable sellers and make sure there are lots of pictures, you can do quite well. I've bought a couple of unsuitable pairs... [more]
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Also, as far as the argument given above that this performance is for politically unsophisticated white people who are unlikely to care - I have done a very stupid thing where this logic was in my head. Well, not that logic precisely, but definitely... [more]
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The thing is - as I have learned - people start to think that you hate them if you never, ever go to parties with your partner, because even when your partner says that you hate parties they assume that you really just don't like them. They also... [more]
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Things that occur to me : First, why not visit the doctor for a complete blood panel, etc? Ask about any impact that your current thinness might have on your health. It should be possible to establish, roughly, whether your current weight is... [more]
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In a worst-case scenario, if I encountered a fellow who told me that he "couldn't tell me what he did", I might assume that he was actually a bit off...either lying to seem mysterious or actually mentally ill. Failing that, I'd... [more]
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I add that for most people I know, intentionally and systematically reading someone else's old journals (unless permission had been given) would be a dealbreaker.... [more]
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I want to add a couple of things: 1. "The benefit of the doubt" - there's no real reason to give people the benefit of the doubt when they're saying racist, misogynist stuff, unless you have a strong personal reason to do so. (Ie, it's... [more]
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An idle thought when hiring future nannies - if one of them discovers an employer filming her secretly for unknown purposes, you may develop entirely different retention rate issues. No one I know - and I do know a couple of career nannies who have,... [more]
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