Activity from Frowner

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(I just want to add that your organization - or family, or friend group, or whomever - is letting you down by refusing to be responsible for the harm that they've done. Even if this is something like "my sister was getting married and... [more]
favorited 10 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Blergh. The Ender is Hitler thing has always bothered me a bit much. Card fabricates an innocent perpetrator of genocide. That perpetrator then discover that he committed unwitting genocides and spends the rest of his life trying to atone for it.... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Life as lived in the lab - tell me about physicists
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Ask MeFi post - 2 months ago

Okay, with this new information - I too have lived with an ex, and although our break-up had been initiated by me and we'd lived apart for several years, we both occasionally said and did kind of petty shit that was obviously about unresolved stuff... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

How many vegetarians are you expecting? And what kind of crowd is this - are they younger, older, etc? Are they paying more for the food or more for the experience? (A crowd which is thinking "I am going to go hang out with friends and... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I guess everyone is traumatized by this story! [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Metafilter is amazing, and also that short story - which I was given to read in a gifted and taleted program when I was, like, eight - traumatized me for years.... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

All Summer In A Day, by Ray Bradbury, is the short story. [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

(I also want to point out that divined by radio grew up in an actual inner city situation and has some advice that is more concrete than mine...I was kind of writing my comment as a "from one white, introverted feeling-haver to another",... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

When we've been talking about race, shooters and violence, here's what I've been thinking: 1. That this is a horrific, tragic thing, first and foremost - and that whatever the survivors, their families and the families of the dead need should be... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

"I genuinely do not understand this. We have a left-leaning president, perhaps the most left-leaning president we've ever had." I feel like you're conflating a kind of representation with actual policy - which, honestly, in the US... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Looks like there was a TV episode of it which soft-pedaled the real ending, and that's probably what you saw. [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Is it that the dystopias are relatively easier to create, since so much of the world will look similar to what we've got around us now? Or is the dystopia more a method of ironic distance than a subgenre, really, a method adopted by multiple... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

They aren't treating you very well - they've condensed two real positions into one benefitless contract position, probably because they feel that they can walk all over you. This is the kind of thing that unions, for instance, forbid in our... [more]
favorited 12 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

There's a line in a Margery Allingham novel about a woman who is doing very nicely in her forties, thank you: "She never had the looks to lose, and so she never lost them". Honestly, once I got over wishing I was good-looking purely... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Here's a thing: I have a friend with a baby daughter. She's on food stamps. She can't afford childcare and does, basically, odd jobs while living with her [awful] parents because even with the odd jobs she can't make rent. She's out of food stamp... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

...run out of profitable uses for the class of people who 500 years ago would have been known, without any derogation, as peasants. The condition of "peasants" has varied across history - 500 years ago was before the Enclosure... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

That is weird, as bedbug dogs require actual special bedbug training. (Here is a sort of "simplified to the point where it won't actually work" guide to the process.) I have had a bedbug dog visit my house. He worked with a special... [more]
favorited 14 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Generally speaking, she or he who does the breaking up usually feels a lot less bad than the other person. Plus you've already started the grieving process of losing him before you did the deed. Precisely! Honestly, when I've broken up with... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

What kind of apartment complex is this? Is it market rate/nice-and-pleasant or is it partially subsidized or really cheap or does it house people getting some form of state support? If it's a nice one, it seems less likely that there are going to... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Oh hey, I went through a couple of years of super-intense hypochondria years ago and have (mostly) recovered. I do not take any meds, although I took Wellbutrin for one month back then and experienced a helpful placebo effect. Yes, it was really,... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I have sold many things on eBay. I have issued refunds for various reasons. I do it through PayPal. You don't need to do anything fancy - you just use the initial transaction, and you can issue total or partial refunds easily. (I've chosen to give... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

People talk in academia, far more than in certain other professions. Joe Department Chair is going to go to conferences and exchange emails with other people with hiring power, and people really do have those "jesus god, I hate... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

"My wife is not attractive". That's cold. Holy crap, that's cold. If I found out that my partner flatly referred to me as "not attractive", I'd....well, it would be the start of the end of it all. Honestly, if I were you,... [more]
favorited 52 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

The reality is that even though I genuinely do like her as a person, I’ve always thought her opinions and her veganism were ridiculous. I never respected them (which really means I never fully respected her), secretly harboring an opinion of her... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

(And to continue - in general, the SF novels by women that they choose are focused on men. Frankenstein, The Dispossessed, Swordspoint - all novels by women where the most important characters are men and the focus is kept... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

+1 on the "there should be more women" tip I would have more patience with the absence of women on the painting list if the position of women on the writers' lists weren't so foolish-looking. At my count, for instance, 78 of the... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I know 91% of words and was not fooled by any of the fake words. I am telling myself that I am still pretty good since the ones I missed were all science words and we all know that science doesn't count.... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Yet if you talk about science fiction, about the best or most important, this needs to be in there, as that's the first novel that actually is science fiction, the start of it all. To include Frankenstein is a justifiable choice. The... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Dawn, by Octavia Butler. It's very zeitgeisty with radicals right now, and I've lost count of how many people who, upon hearing that I read (and do a little teaching about) SF have told me "Oh, I don't really read science fiction....but... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

It has just occurred to me that asexuality is very much a product of modernity - you don't need to say that you are asexual unless 1. there's a very strong norm that everyone (married or not, seeking to have sex or not, religious or not, old or... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I don't think it's sexist to want to acknowledge sexuality exists and can present issues when close proximity, intimacy, or touch are part of the work environment. For heterosexual people, which is the larger percent of the population, that... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

It does not seem, in general, as if the editors spend very much time paying attention to cultural production by women - you have only to look at their other lists. If you are a Very Famous woman in your field (Virginia Woolf, Ursula Le Guin) you may... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I also think that maybe fetishes and BDSM/etc sexual practices might be a good model for understanding asexuality - most people don't seem to have trouble with the idea that sexual fetishes (or identities such as submissiveness) are both highly... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

But, how is asexuality socially constructed, and what if this social construction is born out of trauma, i mean this is the case for all kinds of sex, but there has been a long tradition, of for example how instutional homophobia shapes queer sex,... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

(Watch out for "heritage" brands like Frye and Fluevog - while both still make some great shoes, their salad days are behind them. Fluevogs used to be made in England, then Poland - and those were all very solid shoes. Now they're... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

It isn't always humor. I've seen rallying Radical Feminists chant "Shoot the Rapists, Shoot Shoot the Rapists". I have two thoughts here: First, I don't think there's anything more terrible about shooting rapists than about... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

can I never be an asshole to, for example, a cis woman because I have male privilege? Or can a cis woman never be an asshole to me because she has cis privilege? I think I reversed that. What I was trying to say is: "If I am mean to... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

White lie. Don't go. You are the one who has interacted with the violent men in your family, you are the one who is best qualified to judge whether they are dangerous or not. Too often, women are told to ignore danger signals because it's rude or... [more]
favorited 26 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

St. Peepsburg - who I'm sure is a perfectly lovely person! - is saying that because she feels that someone's motives for calling themselves asexual are mixed, this calls their asexuality into question. That line of reasoning only makes sense... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

This brings back something for me: a long time ago, I lived in a house next door to a place there was a murder. One of my housemates was a young black woman. She saw most of the murder - not the critical moment, but she saw the quarrel through a... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I am like you - it's very easy for me to spend all my time having crushes, looking for "signals", etc. And mysteriously, I have dated a lot less than other, more direct friends in my social circle. It's fatally easy to get into the... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Looking for queer science fiction.
favorited 42 times
Ask MeFi post - 2 months ago

I find myself wondering how the school defines "bullying", especially since I've seen a lot of places use it to mean "any form of unkindness directed at another child" rather than (as most mefites use it) "sustained,... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Yeah, in important ways my taste was set in the nineties, although it was much more "aspirational J Crew like all the rich girls wore in HS" plus various punk and grunge stylings from college. (I'm old!) In high school I had neither... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

What, do the xx's stand for something dirty? Back in my particular day, they stood for straight-edge. But that's not a nineties thing, it's an eighties thing that carried over.... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I think you are way overthinking this. It's difficult to negotiate friendships sometimes, but most minor awkwardnesses can be solved by just being as sincere and kind as possible. I think that it's very easy to get into "rules" and... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

your ideal image is closer to a Victorian gentleman with a study of books made of oak, filled with comfortable chairs and a fireplace whom can discuss nearly any subject with some familiarity. See, that Victorian gentleman was at... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

It blows my mind (actually I guess it makes sense) that so many of you have seen, but completely misunderstood, Ghost World. Enid and Seymour are the only sane, decent people in a misanthropic world otherwise populated entirely by severely hollow,... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I saw a lot of young people my age arrive, flip out, and leave. Personally, I don't think I thrived those first few years. I didn't make the most of the situation. But I was young. I wanted to par-tay. I'm totally going to disagree with you... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

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