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What about either the kind of suit (tuxedo/smoking jacket) that already carries a strong suggestion of Marlene Dietrich/androgyny or sort of "Katherine Hepburn masculine" - silk shirt (undarted, men's or mannish) and wide-legged,... [more]
favorited 2 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last month

Also, the no-failiest thing I've ever made (that wasn't candy - would you be interested in candy recipes?) is these Cooks Illustrated raspberry bars. I make them vegan by subbing in any kind of vegan butter, and I double the quantities of jam and... [more]
favorited 1 time
Ask MeFi comment - Last month

I assume women just...hold it until they get home? Since public urination doesn't seem to be so much an option? While peeing in front of everyone and potentially messing up the drinking water is bad, it also strikes me as bad that women appear to... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last month

Plus, I add, the discount wouldn't even pay for gym membership! [more]
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MeFi comment - Last month

Testament of Youth by Vera Brittain is an account of how she came to be a nurse first in England and then at the front during WWI. You may find that it starts slowly, but its cumulative effect is tremendous. Goodbye To All That, by Robert Graves,... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

Speaking as someone who never had kids, it seems like if people gave serious thought to what it means to have kids and raise them to adulthood, the population rate would plummet. I'm amazed and frequently shocked by the cynical-to-hateful things... [more]
favorited 26 times
MeFi comment - Last month

TL;DR: The Hipster is not an identity; it's a problematic value judgment arising from the expectation that intellectual class and race should equate to economic class. See, this whole thing almost has it - but basically, it seems... [more]
favorited 33 times
MeFi comment - Last month

My dad's best friend got to live on through organ donation doing just this. Been about 15 years now. Yes, of course. And I know someone young and otherwise healthy who was badly injured by a fall in the shower, and my mother knew... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last month

But running around with a big megaphone saying "Aaaaauagh!! The world is unfair!! This is an emergency!!" is not sustainable (or effective). I know that it's not doing me any favors personally to be keeping score with people around me,... [more]
favorited 54 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last month

As recently as the eighties around Chicago, there was a strong sense among non-Italian-Americans that the "Italian" kids were trashy/lower-class/sexually licentious/etc - that was certainly how things were organized socially in my high... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

I like this a lot. One of the things I like about it is the tone - very often, this type of piece is written in a tone (not a vocabulary) that makes me feel excluded, like it's for, you know, cool revolutionary people (or white rich people in their... [more]
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MeFi comment - Last month

I have an MFK Fisher book from the forties in which she talks about how spaghetti with butter and parmesan is this classy dish that one makes hot in front of guests, and the recipe seems to suggest that breaking the spaghetti is normal. Admittedly,... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

Do not quit. Do not quit. Nope nope nope. I've been through this temp agency stuff. Your first assignments will be the yuck assignments that that no one wants - partly because they don't know what kind of a worker you are. If you quit this,... [more]
favorited 17 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last month

Thanks for all the answers - these are some of the most helpful I've received on ask metafilter! What I'm thinking is that I'd like to get the yard in okay shape for this year - so it's not a mass of dandelions reseeding themselves - and decide... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

I still have a Leatherman Pocket Tool (!) purchased for me like 14 years ago. I carry it every day. The earrings - nice ones, too - given at that same time? I've probably worn them four or five times. A vintage or antique pill box for tiny... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

Oh hey late-twenties Frowner! I tell you what, this time don't have a breakdown at 29, lose a year to depression and then have a slow, miserable climb back to functionality! No, seriously: 1. If you are having truly intrusive and painful... [more]
favorited 43 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last month

Do you know more about these guys? What business are they in? How old are they on average? Have they dealt much with Americans before? My Beijing experience is totally out of date and didn't involve the highest and mightiest, but some folks really... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - Last month

I think it's just that some people have one album in them, just like some writers have one novel in them, or two, or three. They have one thing to say, and they say it (hopefully really well) and that's....that. I'm not sure why, maybe they've... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

(What I was trying to say, I think, is that the more socially vulnerable people are, the more need they are likely to have to compartmentalize their lives and maintain some privacy, and the more blowback privacy violations are likely to have.... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

It's not knowing, it's normalization. Right now, even though there's reddit creepshots and so on, a guy who does that is a gross asshole and his victims have some social traction. When it's totally normal to be filming people without... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Honestly, for me I'm far less worried about clandestine recording than the normalization of recording. If some creep comes in to the place I volunteer and he wants to record people clandestinely, that's really bad news - and we would... [more]
favorited 46 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

If for some reason you are in Minneapolis....uh, there might conceivably be community ed classes that focus on just such a topic, taught by a mefite who might possibly be me. Strange Horizons publishes a lot of queer short stories. Their... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

After many years of helmetless biking, I switched to wearing a helmet this year - it was a combination of social pressure (since I got tired of having the "but statistics suggest" argument with my friends), worry about police response if I... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

This is a good reminder - the community center where I volunteer needs to establish a "no Google Glass [or similar device]" policy pretty soon, before these things get more common. We also need to front and center our "no recording... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

For me, talk therapy helped because it helped me to finish telling and re-telling the stories about myself that I'd gotten hung up on. Somehow, explaining everything to an authoritative listener let me feel like I was done and did not have to... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

No, no, it's not a scam! I have done this and here is why: 1. Sometimes if an item seems grossly overpriced to me and has been relisted multiple times (something normally sells for $50 when lightly used, seller has a lightly used one marked at... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

An idle thought: I bet there will come a time in your life when you get laid off, have a terrible relationship, get depressed or otherwise "fail" in some way - maybe make a terrible financial decision, for instance. (I have a relative,... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

For whatever reason - wanting to date you, wanting to keep you on a string - these dudes were putting down your SO in the hopes [the foolish hopes!] that this would make them seem available/interesting/attentive. And because they are terrible people... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

One thing I wonder, as someone who is some-sorta-transmasculine, is why we have to refract all this stuff through the lens of sexual desirability, and what that means for trans guys who don't/can't/don't want to meet these particular standards. On... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I feel that stuff like this is the thin end of the wedge, and I push back whenever I encounter it at work. Sure, this is just a very little thing - but when everyone gets used to the idea that "innocuous" medical information should be... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Now, they don't list how many folks left jobs. But, what roles are those 670 people doing ? I know the conservative riff is "gender and diversity specialist", but really, 670 administrators ? Well, it seems reasonable that you'd... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

If you have access to your own washing machine, you can get a dark olive pair - either 100% cotton or 95%-ish cotton - and use RIT dye to dye them dark green. (You get a dark olive pair so that the stitching isn't a big contrast - it usually... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

If a book is unread in a library, does it provide information? How often does a book have to be read to be valuable? If a library houses, say, a collection of rare small press feminist novels which are accessed by interested parties... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Do you think you could have a case of the forties? (As distinct, of course, from a case of forties.) I ask because I'm 39 and have been feeling pretty much the same set of things - not much money, no career success, looking at my "remaining... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

O.K., so, again, describe specifically what the policy will say such that the potentially negative consequences I can foresee are prevented. Will it specifically say that the policy is purely advisory and that the student has no recourse... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Obviously, there's some local culture stuff around trigger warnings - I definitely know people who feel that they should never, ever be uncomfortable reading or watching something, and that no work of art with "problematic" content... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

My only concern about weeding is that...well, I am interested in old stuff. I'm interested in old small press and regional stuff in particular - I collect, for example, feminist science fiction from the seventies and eighties wherever I find it.... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Also, from a perspective standpoint: queer folks (much like women) are routinely expected to just suck it up. We're supposed to be really nice all the time to people who think we are inferior to them; who think that they are "normal" and... [more]
favorited 58 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Here is a thing: I've learned that when I am the privileged person in an interaction, it is very difficult for me to viscerally grasp how painful casual injustice is to the marginalized person. It's very easy for me to feel that a casual... [more]
favorited 78 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Meanwhile, most of the people I know who eat GF but aren't celiac do so for weightloss reasons or because they think it makes them feel better and again, I don't know why I should object to that because HOW DARE THEY REFUSE BREAD or something.... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I think a concern on the "just let her stay with you" front is that you are essentially signing up to host someone on your floor in your small room indefinitely - the problems that have brought your friend where she is are not going to... [more]
favorited 46 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Also, who is harmed by this accomodation? Colleen Francis still was able to use the locker room - even the main, big one. The swim team of girls got to have their own space. Honestly, the accommodation is "eh" to me - I think... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

You know what? I've seen some penises in my time and they did not blind me. I am alternately bemused and disturbed by this whole "there is a penis in the locker room! Whatever shall we do?" line. If there's someone staring at you... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Also, thread, we seem to have forgotten that trans men exist. Either because of the situation in the FPP or because it's lazy to talk about trans women as a dangerous other, I don't know. Trans men get a pass on a lot of this stuff while... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Does anyone have any good links to accounts of the lived experience of gender dysphoria? That's the part about being trans that I have the most trouble understanding and empathising with - as a cis person, I've never felt "right" or that... [more]
favorited 48 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I can't speak to the legality of it, but in my social circles videotaping someone without permission is very bad form. I used to do a little bit of indie journalism/recording-stuff-for-posterity and....it was absolutely standard to ask, and what's... [more]
favorited 4 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Hild, by Niccola Griffeth, is getting really excellent reviews. It's about Hilda of Whitby. Nicola Griffith is a Lamba-award-winning science fiction author and as far as I can tell from long-ago, limited interaction with her over the emails, a very... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

On a factual level, this is obviously bullshit. Here, though, is what I have found genuinely helpful in all kinds of either chosen-by-me or forced-on-me personal development situations (including therapy, where there are some paradigm things I don't... [more]
favorited 22 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

God, a low FODMAP diet is 100x worse than a low gluten diet! Actually, I would much rather have people believe that gluten is the root of all evil than that FODMAP is/are...as soon as this research becomes better known, I am sure to... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

If I may make a suggestion: there is some real evidence that apples can improve your cholesterol even in the absence of other factors. Anecdotal evidence: I went from quite high cholesterol elevated to the point where I was going to start medication... [more]
favorited 12 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

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