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Personally? If a friend of mine buddied up to a person I sincerely believed to be a rapist and my friend was all "well, he only rapes women he knows really well, so I'll just tell women that they shouldn't date him"....I would… [more]
favorited 89 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

It all ties in with an underestimated undercurrent that shapes the Silicon Valley more than anything else: the counter-culture of the 1960s and the deeply anchored roots of San Francisco's hippie movement. A-ha-ha-ha, Der Spiegel,… [more]
favorited 52 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

You should not do this. I know someone who did this, and it came back and burned them in a LOT of ways. What happens is that people will leave that company, you may encounter them elsewhere in new roles (you'd be surprised!) and they will remember… [more]
favorited 14 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I mean, call him if you must - but I am afraid this relationship may be over. Not through your fault, even though texting people is a bad way to communicate emotional stuff, but because you were dating a guy who did not respect your time or… [more]
favorited 37 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

When you divorce - and I bet you'll divorce - remember that you owe your wife financially, big time. You're acting out a cliche - dude gets married, wife goes through the hard times while he makes a success, there's finally some money and he's out… [more]
favorited 142 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

To me this sounds like "weird guy with poor boundaries who says something that sounds - on paper - way more inappropriate than it actually was". I would say that unless you literally, actually think that Bob is going to do something to… [more]
favorited 10 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I only hand wash my dishes with natural, sustainably harvested sea sponges, because I just care a little more about my kids than most people Yes, and guess which gender of parent will be doing most of the hand-washing going forward? I bet… [more]
favorited 14 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

but like holy shit we are nowhere close to that world as reality and god what I wouldn't do for like a chair that doesn't fuck with my lower back issues, won't fall apart in three years, and doesn't cost more than $50 new And I mean in… [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Asking $13 million in donations to pay off the state...I'm not sure Bakunin would approve. Being extorted $14 million by the state in order not to displace a large and important community - that's what I see going on here. Of course, I'm… [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Are you sure these are your people? Anarchists can be mean as fuck, they're all insecure inside, there's a lot of gender bullshit no matter how queer everyone is. I have quit a couple of "anarchist" social circles (I mean, I'm… [more]
favorited 19 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

To Google's credit, they stopped taking DARPA money shortly after being bought. So I don't think it would be fair to say Google has "military robots". Heck, even with military funding, I don't think Boston Dynamics ever put a weapon on… [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

(Part of what strikes me as significant here is the inability to enjoy more casual sex with someone who isn't 100% your most ultimately attractive person ever - especially the part about things being painful. That suggests for a variety of TMI… [more]
favorited 4 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

If I were you, I'd try to do some thinking (possibly with a therapist) about your extremely narrow spectrum of attraction. When it's that narrow, and that troubling to you, this suggests that what underpins the attractions isn't healthy. (I… [more]
favorited 29 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Getting serious about what you already like helps too. When I was in my twenties, I had all these ideas about how to be a real intellectual - I needed to read Lacan and Derrida, for instance, even though I was not especially interested in them. So… [more]
favorited 16 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

(You know what - and now I will bow out of the thread - on mature reflection, I think that my first couple of comments at the start of the thread were not helpful. I stand by their content in a "what I think about the world" way, but as… [more]
favorited 10 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

The thing about The Cat Ate My Gymsuit and Dinky Hocker Shoots Smack is that the fat girl is pathologized primarily for her fat; the books revolve around her being fat. I remember reading The Cat Ate My Gymsuit when I… [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

The idea that there should be no oversight except by amateurs is ridiculous. People are doing a complicated thing that is hugely important, they're doing it under pressure and in bad circumstances. And they only do it once - it's not as… [more]
favorited 19 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Maybe we're talking slightly at cross-purposes here. I think - and probably did not say clearly - that what is interesting is when there's some kind of broad national opposition to torture that is clearly articulated versus when there is a… [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

(Although I agree that breaking out what we mean by "hippies" is politically essential.) [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

There's a sense that blacks are violently unpredictable, that's what TV told me, anyway. You know that white kid in the Louie clip isn't going to murder you with the same certainty that you know this black kid might murder you. My problem… [more]
favorited 29 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Okay, that's good. If I can't [sit comfortably on my large secondhand originally custom-built-somewhere-in-Wisconsin sofa] to it, it's not my revolution. [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I am a hugely anxious, gender non-conforming and kind of fat person who started going to the gym last year. I also just started reformer pilates, which really is substantially populated by very slim dancer types. So my point is, I… [more]
favorited 10 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Also, families who adopt a high-needs child naturally don't have much support from anywhere else because we don't have a meaningful social safety net, and as a society we disapprove so much of parents who struggle to parent. So I imagine that it… [more]
favorited 11 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

That's so interesting - a lot of it looks like much fancier and more expensive versions of photos from late sixties/early seventies decorating books in terms of color and the older wooden furniture. I don't know enough about furniture to really say… [more]
favorited 3 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Culture doesn't just arrive from the sky; we're not condemned to "having sex equals letting people be horrible to you if that's their thing". Edison is making the argument that, while various fetishes are okay in various pre-specified and… [more]
favorited 22 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Of course all pianos are basically photo storage. Or at least, you have the grand for the photos and an upright elsewhere for daily use. And the photos should all be in sterling frames, but simple, not the fussy plate ones you… [more]
favorited 2 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago


To add: I think that the sudden proliferation of subjective-osexualities is rooted in the desire to find a non-political way to legitimate sexual preference, a way to put it beyond question, and that this can never happen - putting… [more]
favorited 19 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

About the "necessity" to bomb Japan in order to save lives: Japan was trying to surrender. See this from Jacobin: The most damning evidence against the firebombing can be traced to August 19, 1945, when Walter Trohan of the… [more]
favorited 5 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Honestly, I think most women (I would estimate at least most women of my generation and older) had very very little encouragement in figuring out what they wanted sexually before marriage. In my opinion, women are often socialized to experience sex… [more]
favorited 26 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

How are you doing your kale chips? I say this as someone who does not really like kale and who none the less eats a lot of the chips. Just in case you're having a technique issue: - oven at 275 - non-insulated baking sheets -check at 10… [more]
favorited 7 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

It is fascinating how much of that look we consider conventionally sexy and beautiful is just... paint. Which is kind of neat, actually. I bet you could put a ton of make-up on me and squeeze me into some sort of sequin corset and I'd look… [more]
favorited 25 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

My goodness, how weird make-up is. Also, those giant doll-eyes that seem to be a tumblr make-up standard - I had no idea that you can have fairly small eyes and still do them, I'd just assumed that all those girls had large eyes to begin with. I… [more]
favorited 52 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I had/have a lot of trouble with feelings, although I didn't realize this until relatively late in life. I found therapy immensely helpful, but it is a big commitment (in at least time and maybe money depending on your insurance) so if you don't… [more]
favorited 12 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Oh, hey, also - sometimes having a friend who is a bit older and can see you as a Young Person With Potential is helpful. I know those sound like the words of a loon, but...well, okay, look, I made friends with a couple of younger people over the… [more]
favorited 6 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

“I do believe that if we have information about your emotional experiences we can help you be in a more positive mood and influence your wellness,” she said. She had been reading about how to deal with difficult experiences. “The consistent… [more]
favorited 60 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

So, references to housewives are a thing that you've seen, but not "always" at all. It just seems weird to pretend that it is more of a running theme than it is, especially when people are clearly finding a million other reasons to have… [more]
favorited 5 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

One thing that bothers me about the Fifty Shades of Grey lolling/critique: the way the audience is always characterized as "housewives", with genial tolerance or genial contempt depending on the writer. (Admittedly, I have only read… [more]
favorited 30 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I also feel the need to call out the people who are implying that (white?) women doing good things is some kind of feminity thing or whatever. Um. I don't know how much irony was in those comments, but fuck off? Kindness and compassion are pretty… [more]
favorited 15 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

You might want to read some of Doris Lessing's work. She has a complex perspective on colonialism and her autobiographical work deals with her parents' experience in Zimbabwe as well - Going Home, Under My Skin, and African Laughter in… [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

A project I am part of is almost entirely people under 30. (And me, and a few others.) We have one volunteer who is retirement age and not only is she one of the key people in the project but she...I dunno, she really fits in. She has a lot of… [more]
favorited 9 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Well, speak for yourself. Having watched a few internet shaming campaigns, I incline toward the view that they are generally ineffective whenever they might be ethical and somewhat less than ethical whenever they are effective. It's hard to shame… [more]
favorited 8 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I wonder if, in your concern for anonymity, you're not leaving out some important details. Like, if this person was a difficult pill before all this, that gives things a different feel. Or if you asked them "hey, would you mention on… [more]
favorited 14 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

My goodness, they could come film at my house, a corner of Minneapolis where One Cat Holds Sway Over All. Various cat witches (known locally as "food apes") periodically issue forth to cast various kinds of fish and fish-related food into… [more]
favorited 6 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

It's worth reading the author's short essay about his own homelessness, which is linked in the article - he was working the whole time. It fills me with rage and hatred and reminds me - funnily enough- of this old nineties comic, The Angriest Dog… [more]
favorited 57 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

The thing is, when someone gets fired/faces large life consequences for their actions, they're not facing those consequences because their employer/school/etc cares about being anti-racist or feminist, etc - which is why the woman who reported… [more]
favorited 40 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I think it's perfectly legit to say "I am uneasy with a crowd-sourced punishment system which varies wildly from day to day and depends tremendously on who is being punished and for what". It's not as if the issue on the table is… [more]
favorited 51 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

As far as how one might have gotten through thirty years without any Indian food whatsoever - another factor is the revolution in food distribution of the last fifteen years or so, probably coupled with there simply being an increasing number… [more]
favorited 5 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

The trouble is that the situation is such that there is no middle ground between "la la whatever, say racist bullshit and face no consequences" and "you're fired, you will be shamed everywhere you go and anyone who googles you will see… [more]
favorited 44 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I think something that's understated when it comes to commercial Indian food is the vast amount of fat and salt in it. Indian can be very healthy indeed, but I think if most people realised how much ghee and salt (and oft-times cream as well) went… [more]
favorited 3 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

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