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The Green through Automatic for the People era has a lot of the band's best music. Anyone who thinks the band should have turned down tens of millions of dollars to remain somehow "pure" or I.R.S. has probably never faced a big monetary... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

"Voice of Harold" is terrific. I hadn't even listened to that one in years and must immediately upon my return home. I always found it incredibly soothing, like it promises a world that is incomprehensible yet none the less benign.... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Not snarky, I have never thought this. I can't listen to the song right this instant - and my musical vocabulary would make a cat laugh - but I feel like the song and the vocals are sort of melancholy, and in particular the way "You... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

As a cyclist, the idea of someone deciding that he is in fact not actually too high to drive a car scares the living fuck out of me. All that has to happen is that his reflexes are off when something unexpected happens, and I am a bloody heap... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Seriously, pick A Thing to do and label in in your head - "when I have done this thing (and reflected on what I did when I was fifteen) I will have made all the amends I can, and it will be okay to forgive myself". Depending on what you... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

You have to ask yourself what you want from forgiveness. One reason I'm skeptical about later-in-life apologies - and I was bullied pretty badly, plus experienced a couple of significant friend betrayals in my teens - is that so often they're... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

it may be the case that your daughter's boyfriend is considered underage and his family could press charges against your daughter Although I have no advice - and there seems like so much good stuff on here - it seems like there will be a... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I'd say, in fact, that the ideal "personal brand" is one of "adorkability" - cute, faux-unique, non-threatening, able to "geek out" about work-related stuff and golden age television in equal measure, but 100% unlikely... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Do you object to the concept of a personal brand, or to the phrase itself? How separable are these? I mean, I suppose my "personal brand" could be the brand I use for branding my personal cattle... I loathe the idea that... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Weirdly, when I briefly had an OkCupid profile, I got a number of inquiries (from queer women - queer women and gender non-conforming people being the desired demographic) although I had not posted photos. I didn't have any - really, I don't... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Perhaps you could break down the thing that you're apologizing for, at least in your head. Let's say you broke up with someone via text right before their bar exam but after they had cheated on you. You might regret that you had to break up.... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

What it feels like to me is just that the Cold War was too convenient to give up. That's what has struck me again and again about US and Soviet politics since the nineties. During the nineties, all was flux, but then everyone figured out that... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

We keep almost all those things (except the eggs, salsas and cheese) on the shelf. I can testify that sriracha is fine with extended non-refrigeration, in particular, as are molasses, maple syrup, hoisin sauce, jam (throw away jam after a few days?... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

What is suspension actually supposed to fix? Can kids that age really perceive consequences for their actions? Or is it just a day home with mom and/or dad? My suspicion is that it's mostly to punish the parents, who have to scramble... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Speaking as someone in his early fifties, the forties are when many people start to notice the aging process on a daily level (decrease in stamina, eyesight decline, minor health issues cropping up left and right, more frequent deaths of loved... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Angela Carter has this very interesting short essay about Rousseau and corsets - she discusses the contemporary critique of tight-lacing (which was similar to the critique of big hair only angrier) and talks about how tight-lacing both disguised... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Clearly, many mefites will in future be identifiable by our West Elm pouches. I bought two, even though I am not precisely in funds, because I was so allured by their beautiful blues and because my existing old Baggu nylon pouches are too soft, even... [more]
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MetaTalk comment - 2 months ago

Anderson wasn't sure where to start. He'd never heard of a priest raping a child This keeps getting reiterated in these stories, and it seems so weird to me. I mean everybody knew, when I was growing up, that priests (and ministers)... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

An idle thought when hiring future nannies - if one of them discovers an employer filming her secretly for unknown purposes, you may develop entirely different retention rate issues. No one I know - and I do know a couple of career nannies who have,... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

There's a line in a Margery Allingham novel about a woman who is doing very nicely in her forties, thank you: "She never had the looks to lose, and so she never lost them". Honestly, once I got over wishing I was good-looking purely... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Honestly, I think a 23,000 (not including ebooks! That doesn't make much sense as a metric, though, since people who read seriously are more likely to have an ereader IME, not that I have one myself) initial US sale of a notoriously rather... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

What I think he's really doing is breaking Sears up into salable pieces or pieces that can become corporations in their own right with separate stock, and sweetening those pieces by transferring long term liabilities from them to the parts he... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

It depresses me - speaking as a white person - that white people are apparently unable to deduce meaning from context clues. That Time article was kind of creepy and patronizing, as well.... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

One problem is that no one is keeping track of what these students need and what they actually have. Another problem is that there’s simply too little money in the education budget. The Elements of Literature textbook costs $114.75. However, in... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

If someone would like to spend a mint of money on a US-made leather bag, may I recommend Village Tannery? Admittedly, my Village Tannery bag was an entirely random secondhand score back before eBay rationalized the thrift store market... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I have the best bag, everyone! I'm sorry, it's true. Why is my bag the best? My bag is the best because it is identical to the $295 J Peterman mailbag except that I got it on eBay used for $35, it has no brand name on it and it's in reddish brown... [more]
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MetaTalk comment - 2 months ago

Think about your past close friendships - how did you meet those people? What did you talk about? What made you feel close to them? Now that you're older, you may be missing the things that enabled those relationships to grow - maybe you saw those... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I lived in Newport, RI, and there is some unimaginable old-money wealth still hanging around town. I mean, set up for generations and generations of multi-millionaires or billionaires wealthy. Do you know what kind of car they drive?... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I think that "I would line up to dance on her fingers" is pretty blatently hyperbole. But she struck me as a truly vile human being. [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Ok, so what is the suggestion then? Do we form a government body to determine what songs are deemed unacceptable for public consumption? And then decide what businesses are not allowed to play those songs? Should this be the law for hold music,... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I had never ever even thought of saying "totes emosh" and now I am going to start. I feel totes emosh about lots of things lately, so it will come in handy.... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Regardless of what else you do, don't spend a bunch of money on plastic surgery in your twenties (unless you have some genuine medical abnormality). I thought about doing this - and I guarantee that you are better-looking than I am, because... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Exercise accident/back injury and PT? I actually did have an old injury kick back up and needed weekly PT appointments for a while, and because it was an old injury, I wasn't actually visibly injured.... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

(This sounds like depression to me, honestly. Wasting time on the internet, not motivated to go anywhere, fibbing to family about how you're doing, believing that everyone else is better than you and thinks you're boring, believing that mefites... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Oh, geez, why have none of us mentioned Emma Goldman? I mean, talk about a paradigmatically adventurous life - anarchist, factory organizer, prisoners' rights activist, lecturer, threatened Johann Most with a horsewhip for being a misogynist, exiled... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

When I was younger, and hadn't learned about etiquette, I was still trying to please everybody. Someone told me they hated it when someone said "excuse me" because it was just a polite way of saying "get out of my way". And... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

And some people are simply trying to make conversation. If you have just met, they need to find some place to start. It's only nefarious if, beneath the civil exterior, they are really, deeply assholes. I have a really, really different... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Again, gender comes into play - for me, "escapist" means "escaping from all the routine sexist shit I encounter daily, while also enjoying a lighthearted plot", while for straight dudes, I guess, it's "thinking about women I... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

The whole "no actresses in major roles over thirtyish" thing really spoils movies for me, because I'll be watching something where a character is supposed to be a brilliant scientist, or an accomplished career soldier or just a really smart... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

It seems like "oh, there might be a man in the dressing room, we must avoid even the appearance of gender ambiguity" really does stem not just from not-thinking-of-trans-women-as-women but from not thinking of them as people.... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

People watch movies for a sense of escape and fantasy, and what is more "fantastic" that an older man screwing a much younger woman? I am only one data point, but "escapist fantasy" for me pretty much requires things... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Exactly. Shaving is a personal choice, and I believe strongly that whatever people do or do not shave should not invite comment by anyone else. But it's disingenuous to think that we make these choices in a vacuum and that our perceptions as... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

That article was so depressing. But also hilarious! The interviews which boil down to "Oh, everyone should make their own choices and we are all free to do that, but I would never do that because I think it's gross and unfeminine... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

For a long time, I thought that "totes magoates" had something to do with moving one's goats around, though. [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

You know what? I think you should leave her. I really do. I looked at all those other questions and I think you should split up. Think about this - you're my age, you're getting on for forty. We don't have infinite time in life, our risks... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Buried in the article is the fact that if her family had been able to afford brain surgery when she was a child, she would have been tall but not a giant, and would presumably be alive today. But they weren't insured, so they just never went back to... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

(To my mind, nice pans and knives make a difference in cooking for two reasons. The first is easier to compensate for - heat distribution. A well-made heavy pan distributes and holds heat much better than a cheap one, so it's easier to cook things... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Okay, hold up, what about this from the Racialicious article: Peterson was frustrated that the school didn’t investigate her anonymous attackers, even after another scary incident in the winter, when someone sent an email to the freshman class... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Honestly, I think most women (I would estimate at least most women of my generation and older) had very very little encouragement in figuring out what they wanted sexually before marriage. In my opinion, women are often socialized to experience sex... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Don't say "personal brand". I would infinitely rather have to recite a list containing all the usual suspects ("moist", "adorkable", etc) than have to hear people refer to their "personal brand". Every time I... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

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