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And non-texters: What's so wrong with frequent-ish, low-level contact? What's wrong with it? I'm concentrating on something and I don't want to be pestered with beeps every two seconds. When I'm working or writing or reading, I... [more]
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This is way too relationship-y for my taste. It sounds as though he spends much, much more quality time with her than with you, and all his non-practical/non-domestic stuff is with her, not you. Maybe he actually literally spends more time with her... [more]
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Everyone is going to say that Lydia needs therapy, like, stat - but I do want to add that if my partner were friends with someone who was buddies with a person who had sexually assaulted me while I was unconscious, and my partner had sort of a... [more]
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It also occurs to me that most of the people I know who do that "oh, you!" little smack, or elbow someone to get them to stop telling off-color jokes or whatever - are women. And that the underlying issue is "a gentle poke can be... [more]
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It's funny - I tend to be most interested in an intellectual tradition which is skeptical of the enlightenment and the unified subject, tends to decry virtually everything that has actually been achieved in terms of social justice as being reformist... [more]
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How do I tell when I'm being invited along as "the ugly friend"? I am never invited along as the ugly friend, although even in my young day I was plain, and now I'm butch and queer and of zero sexual interest to dudes. Why is... [more]
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As I recall the episode (-and, true I haven't read the Hyphen article) the gist of what the episode was about wasn't defending 'Truth'. It was about demonstrating how difficult the concept of truth in fact is and how 'Truth' basically doesn't... [more]
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When I read pieces like this, I find myself thinking about questions of audience - that is, they all seem aimed at the people whose experience is centered and valued by the problematic text rather than at the people who are... [more]
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I'm not entirely happy with saying that because Aaronson is uncomfortable with certain aspects of masculinity he has a lot in common with trans people. He seems uncomfortable with masculinity because he can't succeed at it - he's denied what he sees... [more]
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One thing I wonder, as someone who is some-sorta-transmasculine, is why we have to refract all this stuff through the lens of sexual desirability, and what that means for trans guys who don't/can't/don't want to meet these particular standards. On... [more]
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I haven't watched this yet - it's on my List - but this passage? Does not make me want to watch it (I still will, I swear). Prison is just like college, (except with bars and guards and no freedom) and it's a learning experience that everyone... [more]
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(The idea that you have to make teenaged girls jump, shriek, and then giggle every 180 seconds I really, really wish we were not socialized to imagine the "bad consumer" as a teenage girl all the time. Who is responsible for... [more]
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And some people are simply trying to make conversation. If you have just met, they need to find some place to start. It's only nefarious if, beneath the civil exterior, they are really, deeply assholes. I have a really, really different... [more]
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The issue isn't, I think, that it might cost rich people a little bit of money; it's that letting climate change play out is actively beneficial. Look at the interview with the developer - climate change brings investment opportunities!... [more]
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Maybe high prices lead to mobile phones in part, but I think mostly it's got to be driven by the inmates' desire for secrecy. They "randomly" monitor land-line phone calls in and out of prisons. This is not true at all. It just... [more]
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I notice a lot of 'received wisdom' in your comments - ideas that are floating around in advice culture that get treated as if they are deep, eternal verities, like "women aren't visual [so what I think about my partner's appearance must be just... [more]
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I've actually known a couple of homeless people - now housed, though both precariously - pretty well. I also shared housing with a guy who had been in and out of homelessness and who was dropped into homelessness again after we could no longer... [more]
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“I do believe that if we have information about your emotional experiences we can help you be in a more positive mood and influence your wellness,” she said. She had been reading about how to deal with difficult experiences. “The consistent... [more]
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Gentrification is a funny thing, and I feel like it can only be tackled at the structural level. I assume that there's a small number of people who have enough money that they have a very wide range of choices in housing and food - people who can... [more]
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Also, from a perspective standpoint: queer folks (much like women) are routinely expected to just suck it up. We're supposed to be really nice all the time to people who think we are inferior to them; who think that they are "normal" and... [more]
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