Activity from Frowner

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I would picture myself trying to explain to one of my black friends that yes, my family sings a traditional song based on this old racist story, and no, it's not racist today but we still sing it because it's cute...and I picture myself stammering... [more]
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Back before fans and air conditioning, I have it on reliable evidence from my father (who actually was just poor), people sweltered. And slept badly. People also slept outdoors - there was a whole culture of sleeping on the roof or in the... [more]
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Why are you still dwelling on this? What does it bring up for you? I completely believe that this was irritating and frustrating, but it still seems like a really trivial situation--a stranger wasn't as friendly as you feel she should have... [more]
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Your kid will eventually grow up and knock the hell out of the painting with balls, toys, heads, fists, etc. My advice is to remove it and the stress from your life now. That way you aren't the parent that screams like the world is ending whenever... [more]
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I worked in coastal China in the late 90s and early 2000s. Things have changed some, but here are a few things I wish I had known: 1. Chinese customs are not as different from US as people make it out to be - it's that the emphasis is different.... [more]
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My sense of this question is that you want permission to break up your marriage but don't want to feel like a bad guy about it. If that's the case, go ahead - no sense in staying married if you aren't into it. But I would do some thinking, myself,... [more]
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"Big" and "vigorous" are also insults in Dahl-speak. He means to suggest that Mrs. Bixby is grossly physical and grossly present, plus she can't or won't regulate her physicality (the mouth). The mouth probably also stands in for... [more]
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I thought about this all the way to work. Here are a couple of things I've noticed: 1. Are you sort of passive in how you expect guys to react to you? Do you feel that what happens is "I stand there and get examined, and if I am good... [more]
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A nice thought, but if that were really the motivation, the US probably could have been more effective at appearing to be non-monsters to the developing world by, you know, actually not being monsters in the developing world. No, it's not... [more]
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but it's not necessarily a bridge going backwards toward racism. Also, hipster racism doesn't need to build a bridge back towards racism; it is racism. It's a way of speaking and acting that causes pain to marginalized people,... [more]
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Oh, I just wanted to add for your future reference - IME, even when friends talk frankly about sex, it is never okay to trash a current partner or to say something that would shame the current partner if they knew it was being said. Ie, if I... [more]
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Honestly, I would like it if I never had to hear bullshit "that body is so gross" stuff ever again. I would love it in particular, in fact, if I didn't have to hear it about old people, the disabled, and significantly fat people,... [more]
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“Every single aspect that you can imagine that affected the airplane or our behavior in it was controlled by Abercrombie & Fitch, specifically, Michael Jeffries and Matthew Smith.” The four male crew members (models provided to Abercrombie)... [more]
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It just shows to go you...I was thinking "gee, this lady sounds kind of interesting...I would like to go on a date to eat Ethiopian food and discuss neoliberalism". The sense I got from her writing was much more that it's... [more]
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Don't get rid of the journals! I've always regretted losing the one detailed journal that I kept in my late teens, even though I know that a lot of what was in there was silly. Is your girlfriend really the type of person who would read someone... [more]
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There are a lot of different ways to read literature, and now that we're beyond the New Criticism, it's okay to read for different things. I think one of the confusions people get into about reading fiction (let's just say fiction, eh?) is... [more]
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I think you should see if you can have a couple of sessions with a counselor to try to unpick some of this stuff. I know two people who will absolutely admit that they had kids (now in the 5-8 age range) and regret it deeply. Although they're... [more]
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I would go with gently used shoes on Ebay or via a consignment store. I know that squicks some people, but if you seek out reliable sellers and make sure there are lots of pictures, you can do quite well. I've bought a couple of unsuitable pairs... [more]
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I was just thinking about this sort of thing today! The only justifications for style are necessity and pleasure. All other forms of snobbery, judgement, etc, are just playing into the bullshit of capitalism - pretending that it "means... [more]
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