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It just so happens that I live with a guy who is somewhat older and somewhat larger than you, and we talk about clothes from time to time. In my opinion, he looks good in slightly structured clothes that fit well - so mostly button-front shirts,... [more]
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The reason people dress like this is because of the halo effect of prepatory clothing and propriety. It's basically just a cargo cult of class and pretension and signifies that the wearer is both highly out if his league and aware of it. A craven... [more]
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I have been party to a number of recommendation processes and I can confirm that the best way to do it is to write it as a formal business letter (preferably on letterhead if your wife's organization has it), print it out, sign it, scan it and attach... [more]
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God, I'm old. I saw Clueless with a friend while home from college for the summer. I thought it was great, actually. On technical points it glorifies wealth and bad values in general....but so does Emma, and Emma has always... [more]
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The worst outcome is that he doesn't want to and doesn't respond; you save everyone's face by going to the next lesson and not alluding to the whole thing. You acted completely appropriately. Remember that even if he doesn't... [more]
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(How does one go about choosing their name once they have decided to live as the gender that they identify as? What kind of factors go into a choice like that? I've seen a few different models (the opposite-gendered version of their birth name,... [more]
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It will be really hard to leave this alone. But do it! A secret I only learned in, like, my mid-thirties: almost all interpersonal drama [that is not the result of grossly immoral behavior such as sexual assault] will dissipate in a month... [more]
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I think, unfortunately, part of the issue is that many (most?) transgendered people do not wish to identify was transgendered -- at least not longterm. The goal for a transgendered woman is not be a transgendered woman, but to be a woman. Why... [more]
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And some Public Enemy videos: Black Steel In The Hour of Chaos, Fight The Power, a bunch of other ones. And Camper Van Beethoven, Take The Skinheads Bowling. Take them bowling! I sing that one to my cat a lot, only with "kittens"... [more]
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I resented the people I served, whom I had been brought up to believe I belonged among. I eventually found my way into more cerebral roles, but there were definitely times when I missed being alone in the early morning hours with a hundred pounds... [more]
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Seriously, people, did you know that Derek Jarman made music videos? I mean, Jubilee Derek Jarman, CaraveggioDerek Jarman, revolutionary queer artist Jarman, that Derek Jarman. They range from quite, quite famous (Dancehall Days)... [more]
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Coco Chanel, ideologically loathesome though she was, lived a simply incredible life - she rose from poverty and abandonment (in an abusive religious institution!) through being basically a courtesan (ie, she was a mistress but she was the kind who... [more]
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As hippybear points out, the sewn mouths article is from two years ago. And oh by-the-way, a couple of the political prisoners that those students were protesting for were Lázaro Forero and Iván Simonovis. The guys that kidnapped Chavez and tried... [more]
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A thought: if I wrote such a note, it would be in part because I found it embarrassing to hear other people having sex and because I thought they too might be embarrassed if they knew I could hear. Perhaps the only thing she's hearing is a little... [more]
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We weren't terribly close, but we were friends, and we worked together daily for almost 10 years. He wasn't the most chipper guy in the world, but no one–no one–in his large circle of friends and family had any idea that he was thinking about... [more]
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What I notice: that everyone hates it when other people can see things about them that they may not entirely intend to be visible; and that it is very easy to confuse "see" with "judge". I think everyone's first thought on... [more]
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Here is a food that I recently found out about: chickpea flour! You can get it in bulk at an Indian grocery store or a pan-South-Asian market or maybe a co-op, but you can also get a smaller bag of Bob's Red Mill chickpea flour to try first. You... [more]
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"Colonial" is a criticism I hear often, but I am not clear on what people mean by it. It's a pretty harsh criticism, especially when applied to the arts, when borrowing influences from many divergent sources is the norm. I could... [more]
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When I lived in Shanghai in the nineties, I observed these things: - Han Chinese students who praised Hitler as a nationalist leader and who either did not know about or minimized the Holocaust - I suspect partly because Han people are... [more]
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I think Dan Savage really essentializes gay male sexuality as much as anything else - I mean, I know lots of guys who get around a lot, but I also know lots of guys who prioritize monogamy; I know guys who go out clubbing and guys who go to coffee... [more]
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