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How can one offer opinions about which is better without offering opinions about which is worse? How can one make informed decisi ons about, say, whether or not one should opt for heroic measures in an end-of-life scenario unless you listen to... [more]
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I think there are queer sensibilities to all kinds of stuff including cooking - but I also think these are not constant, it's meaningless to posit a transhistorical sensibility. And of course, where does class play into this? I found myself... [more]
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Like when you see the winter count records and there's years where it's just basically "catastrophe, everyone died". It would have been bad enough if it were just plague, but at least that would have been an accident - De Soto and those... [more]
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I also think that maybe fetishes and BDSM/etc sexual practices might be a good model for understanding asexuality - most people don't seem to have trouble with the idea that sexual fetishes (or identities such as submissiveness) are both highly... [more]
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Hey [Sexy yet Passively Sexual Girl], You're awesome, and I love spending time with you. I also love that we haven't rushed our physical relationship because getting to know you has been amazing. I'm cool doing things at your pace, but I just... [more]
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Up to that point in the article, I just thought it sounded, for my mostly-introverted self, exhausting. And really the province of the young, all those parties and late night shows and seeing in the dawn together. Not that this couldn't be part... [more]
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(As a side note, we had to try several home aides for an older relative before we found one - who was great - who clicked with my relative and could do the work. If you have the funds to hire someone, absolutely keep trying until you find someone... [more]
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I just can't agree. One of the most difficult lessons for me as a white person from a the US, for instance, has been that I just shouldn't flail away naively about other people's cultural production, saying whatever I feel, rushing in to talk... [more]
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I just mean that I don't wanna falsely advertise to guys (and we all know the idea a dude gets from seeing a girl dressed in outfits that reveal a lot of cleavage, leg, etc, naturally) who would give me attention solely due to the sexual nature... [more]
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Why "pretend to"? What makes you assume that the writer is lying, that she's not being honest in her reaction? She actually said she did know the word for record sleeve, she just forgot it, because for her it was obscure vocabulary.... [more]
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Don't do anything! They may have to report it if you make a fuss, for one thing. Really, this is like cheating on your partner once in a moment of careless foolishness - if it will never happen again and there's no risk of harmful consequences,... [more]
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I go extremely abrupt and cold with them - to forestall any idea they might have that I am attracted to them! It's a defence mechanism I developed in school when I had a crush on a kid who then made fun of me for being fat. Oh hi! I do... [more]
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He sounds like - at best - he's conflicted about what he wants. He doesn't want to date you, but he doesn't want to lose your attention. Is this because he's messed up? Is it because he wants NSA sex only? (that's the reductionist answer.) Is it... [more]
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Give your friend a way to respond to all this with dignity. Crushes can undo the best people - she may not realize or have control over how silly she's acting, for one thing. And if she doesn't understand that you're not just hanging out with the... [more]
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I am really looking forward to reading this book - about fifty million great new things came out this past year (two new Hal Duncans, Sarah Tolmie's Stone Boatmen, A Stranger In Olondria and on and on) so I haven't had a chance to get it yet. But... [more]
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Talk about an expense of spirit in a waste of shame. I understand capitalism, I understand why this is, like, a career (although I hope all those kids get benefits and aren't just contractors) but jesus god, shilling for a corporation in... [more]
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But but but...you have the hair part that god gave you. Or I do, anyway. Whenver I try to part my hair anywhere but the one spot that it's always parted naturally, even if I apply a lot of product in the morning it's reverted by noon. Change... [more]
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Don't say "personal brand". I would infinitely rather have to recite a list containing all the usual suspects ("moist", "adorkable", etc) than have to hear people refer to their "personal brand". Every time I... [more]
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If you are interested in rich people hijinks in the seventies, I highly recommend The Beautiful Fall: Fashion, Genius and Glorious Excess in 1970s Paris. It's....well, it's a rather loosely structured book which is primarily about the people around... [more]
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For those who have had not the pleasure, Cooper depicts sex acts and sexualized violence in painstaking detail. I had to stop reading once I hit the three- or four-page excerpt of the book in which a character is, shall we say, manually... [more]
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