Activity from Frowner

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Personally? I'd really accept that in my region/market you're not getting the treatment that you should, and resolve to do a little educating as part of getting what you want. Ask for the specials, ask for the menu. And if you're offered a table... [more]
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The thing I have observed about non-violent communication is that there has to be a certain level of trust, either in the process or in the group involved, for it to work correctly. Non-violent communication is totally like therapy, in that... [more]
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Okay, everyone is going to tell you to go to...therapy! IANYT. It's pretty common, though, to try to replicate the relationships we grew up with. It's also pretty common to try unconsciously to destroy successful relationships because the... [more]
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It's very obvious which answers in this thread are coming from people who have ever taught and which haven't. I sympathize completely with the desire to be supportive, but it's nonetheless true that by far the most likely explanation here is... [more]
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(I want to add that the unconscious is not the "truth" of the personality. We often talk about unconscious impulses as if they reveal something truer and more meaningful than the conscious ones - "oh, you unconsciously want to [do X],... [more]
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Honestly, if it's not me with the situation, I sometimes say to the person, "Please don't say that to PERSON. It will make her feel like you want her to be grateful or happy that TERRIBLE THING happened." I came to this decision... [more]
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Does she know what steps she'd need to take to get it hosted elsewhere? If she doesn't, she may be so uneasy about what it would entail that she's letting herself keep putting it off. I've found that I do this kind of thing. If she plausibly... [more]
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I'm female and most of my friends are guys, which honestly has a lot more to do with my internalized misogyny. I really grew up thinking that boys were better, "masculine" stuff was better, etc etc and so ended up very much a man's woman...I've... [more]
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Is it poor form to comment after the post has been marked "answered"? I've been thinking about this post since before it was checked off, does that count? To me, there's nothing wrong with being sincerely serious or earnest (as it were).... [more]
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I bring it up with the partner, who tends to be slothful. "Partner," I say, "How can we handle this?" Sometimes it's things where realistically I have to nag - partner needs to call the doctor, take meds, finish a project that... [more]
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So if, for example, I bought a Peruvian hat while traveling are you saying I can not wear my Peruvian hat this winter because I am white? See, this is where people have to use their judgement and also act in good faith. Personally,... [more]
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My surmise is that it depends a lot on how you wear your shoes and what kind of shoes they are. I wear my shoes pretty hard and they do sometimes get rained on, and I have noticed that I get better results with trees until the shoes are dry. In... [more]
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Aren't veggies pretty much already dirt cheap? Not around here. A bundle of spinach cooks down to very little and it's $2; tomatoes are a once-a-week treat and berries or grapes once a month. I ate mustard greens until I couldn't face... [more]
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Do you have other relatives who can run interference for you? A sibling or an aunt or something who will stand up for you, who could tell your parents that they support your choices? I'm sorry that you feel gross. There's at least a possibility... [more]
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Being visibly "checked out" does not always mean what you think it means, either - I've noticed that since I cut my hair and started dressing in a dapper, sort of effeminate-butch manner I've started to get lots of checking-out-like... [more]
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Noooooooooo! Seriously, please do not do this unless you have very specific permission from the church or for some reason know someone who invites you. I have lost count of the conversations I've heard and things I've read on the internet... [more]
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This is why I refer to groups as "folks" or "you-all", ie "those folks over there had some extra plates" or "hey, do you-all have any more spoons?" I also use a gender neutral singular "they" if it's... [more]
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Think about this alpha-nerd-who-doesn't-want-you thing. That may be your problem right there - or at least it was my problem. I have this thing, see, for mean intellectuals. Historically, mean intellectuals do not want me but are happy to... [more]
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Read (and I'm on my way out the door, so I leave teh googles to you) the blogs Put This On, A Suitable Wardrobe, Men's Flair, Permanent Style and Most Exerent (yep, like that) until you have a lively sense of what suits you might like - especially if... [more]
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