Activity from Frowner

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This....is the best. It's true that I have been utterly spoiled by Minnesota, because even when I have been on a crowded bus or train here, I have rarely observed manspreading. With minor exception, even surly teenagers move their… [more]
favorited 14 times
MeFi comment - Last month

Anecdata: fat, muscular person who always thought myself pretty active, bike commuted year round, etc. I started up at the gym last fall and could not do more than ten minutes on the elliptical at a moderately brisk pace - and ten minutes was… [more]
favorited 9 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last month

I think that a problem with the linked article is that the author doesn't have a clear fix on what she expects popular music to do and how this relates to the role of popular music through (let's say for the sake of argument) modern Western… [more]
favorited 12 times
MeFi comment - Last month

ernielundquist - i feel like i read a book at some point where the "wifely dutes/incest" thing was a plot point. i thought it was Bluest Eyes but it's not what i'm thinking of. but i know i've read of it before enough to know that it was… [more]
favorited 31 times
MeFi comment - Last month

I think that working people should have high expectations. Why the hell not? What, we should all just say okay, the 1% captured 68% of all gains between 1990 and the present, but I am happy in my career of mindless and underpaid… [more]
favorited 44 times
MeFi comment - Last month

(I feel like I've said my piece here, but I think there's pretty good historical traction for the whole "I don't want to be part of an organization which treats people unequally in the name of the greater good" line of reasoning. I've been… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last month

I'm not a person who thinks "reverse racism " is a thing, but I will say that comment as a whole - basically just judging how this woman looks - doesn't quite sit right when all the real things she screwed up stand on their own… [more]
favorited 9 times
MeFi comment - Last month

If you think that people aren't talking about the problem of low wages, then you're not paying attention. the paper of record is talking about it, the president is talking about it, the internet is talking about it, et cetera. Seems like every few… [more]
favorited 6 times
MeFi comment - Last month

She likely works very long hours and travels a great deal, which means that she'll need to be able to afford to hire help to do things like clean her house or take care of her kids (if she has any). Again, this is the kind of thing we… [more]
favorited 39 times
MeFi comment - Last month

(And I add that we don't seem to be getting fabulous results with MBAs hired externally, because they bring MBA values with them...so I find myself wondering if there is a way to, perhaps, get people the kinds of training and experience they need in… [more]
favorited 7 times
MeFi comment - Last month

Frowner, I do totally agree with you, but my personal experience with mission based NPOs has been that the "rank and file" often don't rise in the ranks not because the NPO felt compelled to bring in "someone from the outside"… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last month

However, in this case, you've got a major national organization with a multi-billion dollar budget and 30,000 employees. You're never going to get leaders who can manage that scope on a professor's salary. I always wonder about this. I… [more]
favorited 30 times
MeFi comment - Last month

The more I think about it, the more I wonder....every change in the world is an opportunity to make money, right? Every big change is a new frontier, disaster capitalism, etc. Now obviously, no one seeks to rise in the ranks of a disaster… [more]
favorited 22 times
MeFi comment - Last month

I remember at the time reading things by people in Occupy Sandy and just being completely shocked - I mean, also proud - that a constellation of Occupy folks could get stuff done when the Red Cross was just failing. It was really scary to read about… [more]
favorited 11 times
MeFi comment - Last month

It seems like a significant part of being thought an asshole, though, is the very act of expressing an opinion that the main body doesn't want to encounter. I think that it's easy to assume that manners can always massage away conflict… [more]
favorited 11 times
MeFi comment - Last month

I mean, the other thing is - keep your money in town! If 35% of your money is flying off to wherever the fuck, that's 35% that isn't circulating through your local economy and creating a multiplier effect. I have to be much more strict with… [more]
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MeFi comment - Last month

Okay, I will tell you how much this woman quoted me to copy a coat - $500. She has her own tiny storefront in a street that still supports some old school craft businesses, mostly run by Eastern European immigrants. Her work looks good to me and… [more]
favorited 6 times
MeFi comment - Last month

You know, those prices that they are quoting, less a 35% cut, are not fair. The tailor still either has to pay rent on a work space or fill their home with professional machines and projects, plus pay for travel, which they don't in ordinary… [more]
favorited 46 times
MeFi comment - Last month

Well, the whole reason to have a neverending war on poor people is because poor people can't fight back. There's nothing satisfying in a war against a real enemy. [more]
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MeFi comment - Last month

In some ways I think it's really easy to draw a pretty straight line from cheap consumer goods--manufactured overseas where you don't see the conditions or have to think about what they're paid, all you care about is your new tshirt or cellphone… [more]
favorited 11 times
MeFi comment - Last month

(Re "breeder": As I encountered the term, it was an eighties thing that the gays/lesbians used to refer to straight people - an insult from a time when being gay or lesbian was a lot more universally stigmatized than it is now and when,… [more]
favorited 57 times
MeFi comment - Last month

Wear whatever you like, but know that I will be judging you according to idiosyncratic preferences derived from childhood experience, random ideas picked up from books, my own deep fears about fitting in/being different and some fuzzy, largely… [more]
favorited 45 times
MeFi comment - Last month

When I was young and punk rock I made such kind of tee shirts thusly: 1. Tee shirt 2. Spray paint 3. Cardstock 4. Xacto knife 5. Masking tape 6. Piece of heavy cardboard Cut out appropriately sized @ symbol. Cut out big square of… [more]
favorited 3 times
Ask MeFi comment - Last month

Some people think Sandra Bernhard is beautiful, for starters. Most of the "Sandra Bernhard, despite being thin and having a conventionally attractive body, good skin, good hair and a wide, full-lipped mouth is actually ugly" business… [more]
favorited 12 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

As in, not eliminated but literally made the opposite: students struggling academically should be required to participate in an extra-curricular, usually team-based, activity That sounds like it would be setting up extra-curriculars as… [more]
favorited 3 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Dude, all this gender stuff is also a bit misleading - it's not about "manly he men fix car problems for ladies so the ladies don't need to know their stuff", it's about helping another human being who is in a jam. Back in… [more]
favorited 71 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

And this is what happens when people make assumptions about other people. I'm about as far from right-wing as you can get. I'm a leftist, gay man in my 40s. I was bringing up a talking point, but something that I witnessed with my own eyes. I… [more]
favorited 80 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Also, don't be the cool girl here - I wasted a lot of my youth being all "oh, yes, you can say mean worm's-eye-view things about me because after all they are true" and looking back it just ate away at me and reinforced my own bad feelings… [more]
favorited 106 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I did a teaching certificate and then for [huge job market contraction the year I finished and life reasons] did not actually teach. I do some community ed teaching now. Thinking back both on my own time in school and on the teaching I've done, I… [more]
favorited 8 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

And that's one thing where I do feel sympathy for the childfree who feel guilt tripped. Because who the fuck doesn't want nice food and good vacations and fun activities and a nice home? I have a kid and still want those. Or, honestly,… [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

There was an FPP a while back about " obvious science " and the point was made you have to study boring clearly obvious things cause testing What Everyone Knows is the day to day work of science. None the less, it's still pretty… [more]
favorited 16 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I notice a lot of 'received wisdom' in your comments - ideas that are floating around in advice culture that get treated as if they are deep, eternal verities, like "women aren't visual [so what I think about my partner's appearance must be just… [more]
favorited 60 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I grew up in New Jersey, was never assigned Beloved, and was not introduced to literature by non-white people in any other month than February. That's interesting. Maybe my school was more liberal than I thought, or maybe there really was… [more]
favorited 8 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I hear you! I had a ton of trouble making women friends for years and I have never had a real coherent social circle of women. Most of my friends were straight dudes of one stripe or another. Lately, I've made a lot more women friends but it took a… [more]
favorited 40 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

And one more comment - the single most important thing I've found in making groups work on any basis is to take the time to do appropriately chosen group-building stuff. Training for Change, an organization with a rather peculiar underlying… [more]
favorited 14 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I've been part of organizations that operated by consensus for most decisions and that worked pretty well - at least as well as the similar organizations that ran on voting. (It's a mistake to think that voting solves the problems of power - holy… [more]
favorited 35 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I always wonder why people do that stuff. Part of me feels sorry for the grad student, even though I understand that he made those choices every step of the way - it's not like one little decision among many was bad. It also makes me… [more]
favorited 7 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I live mere blocks from a really fantastic hospital. I live in one of the poorest (and the largest, because it was made that way to reduce our clout on the City Council) neighborhoods in my city. I have insurance. I have been treated at that… [more]
favorited 22 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I truly had no idea that Beloved was not basically a set text in high schools across the land - in fact, I had always had a little bit of a problem with the way it seemed to be taught, very much a "here is our Worthy Book By A Black… [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

It's simple, really. Look at Occupy. Look at Selma. It's really, really important not to say that the primary difference between these events is one of decision-making process (and clothing choices??!!). This does a huge disservice… [more]
favorited 9 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

But Quakers, especially here in the midwest where I live, are a remarkably homogenous people with a comprehensive set of shared values. We value process over product; one of the very best business meetings I've ever been part of ended with us… [more]
favorited 8 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

(drawing the pejorative "anarchist", you might add. I dunno, I am personally acquainted with probably ten people who call themselves Leninists and with two people who call themselves, incredibly enough, Stalinists - when I think about… [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

(I mean, if there is one thing that is truly bourgeois in activist circles, it is the idea that only Too Much Radicalism prevents a loose agglomeration of people with very different experiences, understandings and goals from coalescing… [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I assume that there is a supply problem for dentists as there is with doctors, where they control the number of medical school graduates and create barriers to doctors from overseas freely entering the profession here. (I assume that the theory… [more]
favorited 10 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

The first compact disc I ever purchased for myself - and indeed, the first one I had ever handled - was The Quality Of Mercy Is Not Strenen by the Mekons, an expensive import reissue. I do still have it...in fact, I think I still have… [more]
favorited 7 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

it would have been truer to my meaning to say "AFAB people and generally people who identify as women"...I could really use a good way to express what I see as a similarity of experience between cis women, trans women and many AFAB people… [more]
favorited 4 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

So you are 21ish? And he is 26ish? I don't know, I think that it can be quite tricky - leaving all else aside - to make a relationship work between someone who has some years of adult life under their belt and someone who is still in undergrad. (A… [more]
favorited 10 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I never received government assistance or asked for it. I want to point out that it would not exactly have been the world's greatest tragedy if you'd gotten some food stamps and bought some groceries here, nor would this have turned you… [more]
favorited 138 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

$45 a month (what she says she spends on cigarettes) is very little - $1.50 a day. She could get...a candybar? A very cheap coffee? A couple of donuts? I don't think $45 even gets you very much weed, right? I am not rich, but I don't have kids… [more]
favorited 21 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

One thing that I hope your daughter will pick up in some way, whether from you or from other resources: it is okay, and can even be healthy, for her to look at porn/sexual stuff. This issue often gets framed as "men all naturally want… [more]
favorited 44 times
Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

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