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I RTFA, and the thing that jumped out at me was the passage where the writer spoke of a woman who was interviewing for a secretarial position at the salon chain she worked for, so she could move up from being a hairdresser. When she left, the... [more]
favorited 65 times
MeFi comment - 2 months ago

“a very tiny space that exists between being a butch dyke and being a trans man,” Oh, precisely. That is my tiny space. I'm pretty lucky because I have wide shoulders and flat hips (even as a fat person) and this means that... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

What I always remember about Paglia is reading about how she was complaining about trans people (especially trans men) and she was saying that trans men were just doing it for the male privilege and people shouldn't really have easy access to... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

But that's the point! Enid is so narcissistic that she doesn't realize that. I don't know if that's really what we're supposed to take from the comic. (I haven't seen the movie since I didn't like the comic much.) I think we're supposed... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Okay, look, this is a weird thing for a white person to say, but I feel really weird about someone taking this really powerful, mobilizing song and turning it into a sad indie white girl song. Tightrope really, really reads to me as a song that is... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Seeking book recommendations on abolitionist movement in the UK!
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Ask MeFi post - 2 months ago

My impression is that a LOT of organic produce is grown and shipped with the expectation that the people who buy it are looking for better-quality stuff. It's not so much that the organic nature of the product makes it taste better, it's... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I like Bill Bryson's A Walk In The Woods - it's an account of his hike of part of the Appalachian Trail and while it's not science per se, it's a cheeringly down to earth account of the process and the trail. (I find some of his other books... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

It was particularly angering because the DA had just that year pardoned two people who had killed someone to save themselves during an attack, so there was even immediate legal precedent to pardon CeCe. But of course those people were white (and, I... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Also, did you help him prep for this test in any way? I took virtually all those tests (SAT, ACT, GRE) with almost no prep and did very well, but I was astounded to learn that most people do significant practice first. Most kids who are going... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

That City Pages article was widely held to be pretty terrible around here. I don't have time to look at it point by point and I've blocked out the memory, but it was called out for being really scandal-mongering and transphobic (and the cover was,... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

I actually know some folks who went to IMSA (and I desperately wanted to go but my parents wouldn't let me) and honestly, none of them are, like, Super Duper Rocket Scientists Transforming The World. I'm not saying that it isn't worthwhile to go -... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

(I add that it was a pretty intense thing to go to IMSA - everyone I knew was a boarder, they lost touch with their friends from their regular school and it was a pretty big deal socially. (I only connected back up with people years later.) Unless... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Trees! Are there old trees in the yard? What kind? We had a huge series of expenses (totaling about $8000) to remove old trees as they started to fall down. Silver maples tend to rot from the inside and fall apart. If a tree is old and... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Knob and tube wiring, also - it would cost $45,000 to totally rewire our house. (Hollow laughter.) Luckily, knob and tube is actually quite safe if it's in good condition (as ours is - we've had it inspected by a couple of different electricians).... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

Could your friends accommodate you for, like, a week each? I think that if your father is making serious physical threats, you need to leave right now. If you explained to your friends that you feel physically unsafe and asked them if they could... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 2 months ago

My daughters seem baffled and bored by their peers who they say seem to be mostly interested in fashion and boy bands. "I am not yet sexual and so this stuff bores me" or "my romantic or sexual interests are different from... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

But the theme that girls stop being interested in cool/fun/interesting stuff and become "boring" when they start being interested in boys is certainly not a hard one to pick up on, either here or across the board in all kinds of texts... [more]
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MeFi comment - 2 months ago

In the early days of a Very Important Relationship, we would fight every time one of us had to make a trip. We didn't even realize we were doing it. And they'd be big, stupid fights. And this was a person I loved very much and got along very well... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

How tall is tall? Do you need "tall" clothes or do you wear average cuts? This will change the advice you get. 1. I would suggest looking at lots and lots of body-positive selfie-oriented tumblrs, not with a view to picking anything... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

Okay, here is my experience with left environments and identity politics: Some of those people can be jackasses. Sometimes people can be shallow, sometimes there can be orthodoxies that are not sufficient to the needs of the day.... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

"People would say racist, homophobic, and misogynistic things in jest. It was like playacting, a kind of pretending to be racist that makes fun of both racists and those who are literal-thinking enough to not see that it is playacting. I... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

Honestly, a problem with teaching novels is simply that not everyone likes the same novels and students can't choose. You'd never expect a random group of 25 adults to like the same book, but we essentially expect that of HS students.... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 months ago

Also, I hated everything we read that was "relevant to modern teenagers". "Modern teenagers" are a diverse crowd, and I was way happier with Jane Eyre, Oscar Wilde, sixties essays and the WWI poets than the... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 months ago

I think it's great when students like books and obviously you should strive to provide a variety of books to appeal to a variety of tastes, but assuming the goal is to have students like or enjoy every novel they read kind of misses the point.... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 months ago

1. You could be imagining the hostility and caught up in some kind of weird feedback loop - you feel weird, they are a little bit remote, you feel weirder, they act remoter. This could be because you're more tense and anxious when you're within... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

Oh, dude, I have no "lifechanging rehab mistakes", but I will tell you that totally failing to be accepted to graduate school* right out of college....it was a giant emotional disaster that put me in a really bad place for quite a... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

Those are really excellent. And she so obviously knows her stuff - it's not just "surreal" in some nebulous way, but stuff that could have been a Harper's Bazaar cover in the thirties (when Carmel Snow was very big on the surrealists) or a... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 months ago

High-waisted pants have definitely come back in style - some of them skinny, some tapered. I don't know if they've fully caught on in the mainstream in a way that would mean mass productions but I say give it a few more years. But it's the... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 months ago

The difference between a white activist with a master's degree who runs an art studio in San Francisco and her white Google employee neighbor is indeed vanishingly small. Sorry. But as I understand it, a lot of the people who are dealing... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 months ago

More toxic than AVFM or Mens Right's Edmonton? More toxic than FreeRepublic? The thing that gets missed with this kind of logic ("oh, you're saying that [radical community] is as bad as [far right assholes] when that's obviously not... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 months ago

I want to point out that you don't need to feel guilty for having crushes on people, regardless of anyone's sexual orientation. (I used to feel guilty for having crushes on people - it more because I felt that I was so terrible that it was, like, an... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

China has a long, long history of being occasionally nouveau riche and authoritarian with some ajustments at the top in the name of "reform", See, I think this is a description that could apply to pretty much any... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 months ago

Just a piece of advice: I would tread very carefully when assuming that people are all white in these scenes, particularly if you yourself are white. I have seen way too many situations where someone assumes that a punk/crust/traveler/etc scene is... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

You sound like you want to break up. However, I bet that you'll regret it later on. Someone who is fun to talk to, has a suitable approach to sex, is smart, doesn't want kids, etc etc - I think that person is going to be very hard to... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

The first paragraph of this article immediately demolishes the argument of the remainder. The filmmaker set out to make a movie with an AI in it and, after doing research, realized that the technology behind the AI was irrelevant. I think... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 months ago

I mean I know you can't say "Hey the women dress like ladies here" but you might want to think about what the existing culture is and how much being outside of it is likely to be a problem in whatever position you're interviewing her for.... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

Yeah, gee, it sure sucks when, like, marginalized people try to participate in academia by getting, like, a degree in literature instead of something "practical"! All those queer, women, working class and people of color PhDs should... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 months ago

I struggle with something pretty similar, although there are some strong through-lines in my life and I'd say I've gotten somewhat better at follow-through over time. I guess I'd do some thinking about why nothing sticks - is it because... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

I don't begrudge your feelings, but it's a list, and we all know that not all lists are for everybody, just like we all have different likes and dislikes, different wants and desires. This list is for people who think they might want to give some... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 months ago

Oh, there's a Utah Phillips song about the Enola Gay. There's a lot of set-up in this live recording - the song begins at about 3:00. Also, REM has a song, Exhuming McCarthy, which is both about the McCarthy hearings and about Reagan and Iran... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

Essentially (and this isn't a knock against the movie, which I liked) there is no world outside of middle class information workers in a pristine city. The actual implementation of this technology (a companion movie directed by Terry Gilliam,... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 months ago

The music is nice and all, but could someone explain what makes her work "groundbreaking"? Oh, dude, I'm sorry that you don't see it. For me, her work is groundbreaking because: 1. The density of images and references and... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 months ago

Janelle Monae is pretty amazing. I feel like there's maybe also some response to Santigold in this, in terms of her costuming and some some the general aesthetic royalty/nobility stuff? Also I suppose Michael Jackson, what with the jacket and all.... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 months ago

Hey, PFL. I went through an extended period of being uninterested and bored by others and being troubled about it. It wasn't exactly as though I was uninterested - I wanted to be interested, I wanted to remember to ask about the baby or the... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

(Honestly, it sounds like the occasional cheese-plate and vegetables night would be helpful - you just have some slices or chunks of decent cheese (not super expensive but should stand on its own, Tillamook or whatever and maybe a soft cheese) and... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

Also, have you considered Helen Oyeyemi? Her book Mr. Fox made a big splash last year. I've bought it but haven't read it - it looks really good. She also has a new one.... [more]
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Ask MeFi comment - 3 months ago

I think there are queer sensibilities to all kinds of stuff including cooking - but I also think these are not constant, it's meaningless to posit a transhistorical sensibility. And of course, where does class play into this? I found myself... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 months ago

God, that is a terrible article. I mean, it gets at some interesting stuff, a little - the whole situation of being middle aged and how that changes your relationship to youth culture. I am very aware of this myself in my late thirties. You get... [more]
favorited 63 times
MeFi comment - 3 months ago

not sure of who thor fucks, but afp is not straight. Fair, but the lived experience of a woman who is very visibly married to a wealthy straight man is very different from that of someone whose primary relationship is not heterosexual.... [more]
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MeFi comment - 3 months ago

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