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But running around with a big megaphone saying "Aaaaauagh!! The world is unfair!! This is an emergency!!" is not sustainable (or effective). I know that it's not doing me any favors personally to be keeping score with people around me,... [more]
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If people keep alienating people who keep trying to make a connection with you, flawed as they may consider it, where the fuck do this first group of people think they'll end up? With a group of people with a "pure" or... [more]
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Making a "grand bargain" with a bunch of corporations is no bargain at all. We know that a "bargain" with corporations basically means "let's give you tax incentives; once you've wrung everything you can out of us, you'll... [more]
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Oh hey, I will tell a tale of my youth in order to illustrate what I mean by "taking up space". Okay, once I was a young punk college student. Now, I was as unhappy as the dickens, and I did have a part time job, but I was also... [more]
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We all know that guy - I know a "that guy" who actually changed himself (by conversations, reading feminist books and a lot of self-reflection and hard work) and is, seven years later, a much nicer and happier person with a wonderful... [more]
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Once again it is so weird to me that we've got two things at the same time: many, many black women saying that they do not feel represented in popular culture, that they would like to be represented as frequently/normally as white folks are,... [more]
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It must have been like living in a horror movie in the years of first contact. You would go from everything being normal, like it had been for as long as anyone could remember - with historical events and migrations and great leaders or... [more]
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professors make any material involving classism, racism, sexism, ableism, etc. etc. 'optional'. Optional if it's not necessary. One good thing that all this business does, IMO, is it pushes us to rethink certain curriculum decisions.... [more]
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Forget shopping malls, think bigger. Except for high end stores, retail is dead. First Barnes & Noble will shutter, then the jewelry stores, then the electronics stores, then the rest. All that will be left will be restaurants, groceries... [more]
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"My wife is not attractive". That's cold. Holy crap, that's cold. If I found out that my partner flatly referred to me as "not attractive", I'd....well, it would be the start of the end of it all. Honestly, if I were you,... [more]
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I mean, a lot of this kind of nonsense movement-baiting (which is what the NYT framing is) suffers hugely from not being specific enough about the people and issues involved. Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore, for instance, isn't talking about... [more]
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I'm pretty sick of articles where women humblebrag that they're so transgressive because although babies grew in their wombs they still think about sex and have social lives and haven't taken up tatting or started wearing SAS shoes or whatever... [more]
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As a cyclist, the idea of someone deciding that he is in fact not actually too high to drive a car scares the living fuck out of me. All that has to happen is that his reflexes are off when something unexpected happens, and I am a bloody heap... [more]
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You know, we've been through this "it's enlightened, rational and modern to have open relationships" thing before, in the sixties and early seventies. It didn't work super-well for women. (I say this as someone who is actually in an open... [more]
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It occurs to me that this dude is getting what he wants - he has sex with you, he has the kinds of conversations that he enjoys but does not have conversations he finds difficult or boring, he can tell you that you are "too emotional" if... [more]
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The "tyranny of pronouns" thing sounds weird to me. In my circles, when someone's gender is unknown or they're genderqueer or whatever, we just say "they", as in "I saw Lee on the bus, and they said they'd be at the show... [more]
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(I pause to add that "The Game" absolutely skeeves me out, as it does pretty much every woman I know. If I got even the faintest hint that a guy was using PUA/Game stuff on me, I would walk away, possibly after saying something mean.... [more]
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I began to feel hurt and to have real doubts about whether we were a good match. I said this to him. He then said it was very important to him to have me in his life, I am special, he likes the reflective conversations we have, but I was blowing... [more]
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The thing is, I would have a lot more sympathy with Aaronson if these were conversations he was having with close friends rather than blogular authoritativing. "I am in pain and I am sad, friend, can we talk through my feelings with the... [more]
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This article is about a specific UK situation, right? Here is a thing that I think folks outside of long-term radical activist circles don't tend to realize (and, because I tend to hang around with cultural anarchists and do much more ad hoc... [more]
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