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I think you're imagining that a "normal" situation in a business is "everything is going perfectly because everyone is here 100%, fully trained, etc". Kind of like imagining that your "normal" commute should be twenty... [more]
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I always wonder about this "bighearted Americans" trope. Not that I haven't met generous Americans...but 1. generosity everywhere is situational; 2. we do not actually have one of those peasanty, being-a-host-is-an-ethical-responsibility... [more]
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nadawi: I totally agree there are women whom date geeks out there. I fell in love with one of them and we were together for over a year, until unrelated problems involving physical distance ended it. We still talk daily though. The problem is the... [more]
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So you are 21ish? And he is 26ish? I don't know, I think that it can be quite tricky - leaving all else aside - to make a relationship work between someone who has some years of adult life under their belt and someone who is still in undergrad. (A... [more]
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Aragorn was black. Tolkien just forgot to mention it. You know, I wish this were true. Everyone has read The Last Ringbearer, right? (My thought is that, honestly, if you are a straight white dude or you're a happily-accepted... [more]
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"The end of gay culture" - that depends so much on how you think of gay culture. There's a viewpoint that being gay/lesbian/queer actively creates queer subjectivities - that we aren't just regular folks who happen to sleep with other... [more]
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what a strange sort of sexism. and visual stereotyping. and profiling, maybe? Okay, let's lay this out: this is a queer thing (...um, early nineties reference: "and you wouldn't understand") There's a whole complicated long... [more]
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I think you should visualize to yourself how you will feel if this never changes. You're not talking about a situation that is new - you're saying that for several years he's been like this but it's gotten worse since your mother's death.... [more]
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Well, it sounds like you may not always have been dating guys who had female friends; maybe some of these "needy" friends were more of a women-I'd-kind-of-like-to-hook-up-with or... [more]
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The reason people dress like this is because of the halo effect of prepatory clothing and propriety. It's basically just a cargo cult of class and pretension and signifies that the wearer is both highly out if his league and aware of it. A craven... [more]
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Thank you, aggrieved international, for recalling that the United States is not the world and that Americans (or shall I, in deference to your sensitivities, use the execrable "USians"?) are not global citizens. And yet, how... [more]
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So what I'm seeing in this article is that a lot of the traction that the fundies have here is because the old secular regime was so corrupt and terrible - people who have a lot of emotional energy and a lot of anger about the secular regime... [more]
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I envision imaginary homes (which might solve your "favorite home feels far away" problem). They're all impossible - an ocean-going floating pavilion, a house carved out of a mid-ocean rocky cliff, a sequence of loggias built along a... [more]
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But it seems like that didnt happen with the Somalis. I don't feel that this is true at all. I think that some Somali folks have had a hard time being accepted because of anti-black racism and because of bias against Muslims. But I... [more]
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I am a hugely anxious, gender non-conforming and kind of fat person who started going to the gym last year. I also just started reformer pilates, which really is substantially populated by very slim dancer types. So my point is, I... [more]
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When folks are linking the "fascist coup" thing, they are talking about the Greece Goldman Sachs guy's membership in an actual violent fascist student group during the eighties. It's not just hyperbole - he was a physically violent fascist... [more]
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To me this sounds like "weird guy with poor boundaries who says something that sounds - on paper - way more inappropriate than it actually was". I would say that unless you literally, actually think that Bob is going to do something to... [more]
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I used to be like this and now am mostly not. I have irrational health worries sometimes, but they are much closer to "normal" minor worries that I can dismiss. Here are some things: 1. NEVER read the internet about health things.... [more]
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Anecdata: fat, muscular person who always thought myself pretty active, bike commuted year round, etc. I started up at the gym last fall and could not do more than ten minutes on the elliptical at a moderately brisk pace - and ten minutes was... [more]
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Substantial body composition changes at the gym started for me with 30 minutes of elliptical-as-fast-as-I-can-sustain plus about 25 minutes of weights plus about 10 minutes of floor exercises four times a week. This has caused me to lose a little... [more]
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