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Just this morning I happened across this useful (though strict!) set of posts about suits that explains quite a lot. Post 14 is about "odd jackets", jackets like this one that are not part of a suit. Now, I think that these posts are... [more]
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Things have changed, I find men that insist on making me wait for them to run to the door first or make a big show of holding the door when it was really my turn, to be rude. Just treat people as people, not genders, and do the act/accept the act... [more]
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My union, with which I disagree a lot of the time on little administrative stuff, got all the wages for everyone raised to a living wage. (Like, a meaningful living wage, not just $9/hour.) I would be making in the low 20Ks with six years of... [more]
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Remember that your kid will also obtain benefits from growing up somewhere cosmopolitan - it's not as though your daughter won't get anything out of living in a city/college town. And unionized jobs with good health care? Your daughter will... [more]
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(The difference between, say, beginning with "Charlemagne in Sweatpants, you are one of the fightiest people on Metafilter" and "CiS, you get in fights several times a week.") And yet, there's also the discomfort that... [more]
MetaTalk comment - favorited 6 times

Back off! You can, however, be friends in the long run. Reduce your contact either by explicitly telling the guy that you need to step it back because you have feelings for him or just by saying that you're really busy and being less available.... [more]
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You sound very charming. Here are some guesses and suggestions: 1. You're socially behind people a bit - because you missed out on so much friend-wise, you just don't have the social sophistication to seem quite like a potential equal... [more]
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And honestly, you have a gift to offer radicals of a younger generation. As poisonous as the anti-communist rhetoric was in the US during the Cold War, people grew up with some knowledge of how bad mass political violence was. I think the younger... [more]
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Oh, I know I keep commenting....but the acts of mass violence in US history are mostly by white folks against people of color - race riots like the Tulsa riot. Mass violence in the US has historically been a tool of the populist right, not the left,... [more]
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See, this (from here is the very type of contemporary poetry that I don't like much, even though obviously it speaks to plenty of people: I strike, then from the moment when the matchstick conjures up its light, to when the brightness... [more]
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You treated the young woman well and politely; you had protected sex and adhered to the terms of the transaction. Good for you. Were you "played"? Not really. Will a sex worker ever actually like/be attracted to their clients? I am... [more]
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1. Therapy, as we say here. It would be good to have a non-friend adult around to unpack specific interactions and brainstorm strategies. 2. Sometimes I come up with specific listening strategies - ie, "I am going to let this person... [more]
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Many unions today are mandatory: if you want to work, you have to belong to the union. You are not given the choice-you must join, and your union dues are taken out of your paycheck. Because the unions know you must belong to them, they also often... [more]
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Oh, you should read Nicola Griffith's novel Ammonite (adventures of anthropologist on The Planet of Women Only Due To Mysterious Past Event). And Peter Beagle's incredibly, insanely, unjustly underrated The Folk of The Air (adventures... [more]
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I'm sure tons of people wear square-toed shoes - average folks for whom getting dressed up just means a newish button-front shirt in a flattering color and some kind of khakis and maybe a sportcoat (one says "odd jacket" now if one... [more]
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Some side observations: I think it's neat that queer communities tend to be full of people sliding from ex to friend, people who were casual hook-ups, people with a lot of emotional ties to each other that aren't really like those found in... [more]
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But you don't know what the original message was about, right? What if it was asking for a date or something too personal? And the non-responder was all "oh, I don't want to say 'no'/I don't want to get into this/I don't want to meet this... [more]
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Here's what I think (based on having done something similar...when I was a teenager, not an adult). He wants to jump ship and go out with you, but he doesn't want to take any risks, so he's keeping his girlfriend on the hook until you're a sure... [more]
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