Protestantism in America, by Randall Balmer and Laura Winner
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 7:47 PM on August 20, 2008

Also of interest is The Routledge Historical Atlas of Religion in America.
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 7:51 PM on August 20, 2008

Cupcakes (or Death)

Scrumptious Crumpets

Very Tiny Baking Empire, LLC
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 7:44 PM on August 20, 2008 marked best answer

More superficially, a lot of people pick the team with the best record/best chances of wining more games. See: drop off of 49ers fans in the Bay area over the past 15 years.

Win/loss since 1995 (when the Raiders returned to Oakland) including playoff appearances:

Raiders: 82-121 (.404)
49ers: 105-103 (.505)

Just sayin'.
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 6:25 PM on August 20, 2008

Pete Hamill's Forever is the tale of a man granted provisional immortality, as long as he never leaves the island of Manhattan.
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 11:20 PM on August 19, 2008

Nice use of catshitinsane tag.

Our cats announce their poop status, too: one runs sprints down the hallway, another does laps through the house. I figured it was due to the liberating joy of completing a healthy bowel movement.

I love participating in the cat poop AskMe threads.
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 10:31 AM on August 17, 2008

Drive-By Truckers!
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 2:06 PM on August 16, 2008 marked best answer

Bathing caps for parakeets.

Save some for when you go on a crime spree and need to not leave fingerprints.

Fill them with heroin, swallow them, and cross an international border.

See how their use changes the dynamics of thumb-wrestling.

Or just toss them in your medicine cabinet -- they're handy to have when you slice a finger chopping veggies.
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 6:59 PM on August 15, 2008

So you have a problem participating in a ceremony that you think is meaningless , even though it will please the woman with whom you want to spend the rest of your life?

Dude, HALF of being married is doing pointless things to make your wife happy. Get with the program.
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 2:23 PM on August 13, 2008

Hi, I'm from the Guiding Hand Social Club, and I'd like to manage your virtual portfolio.
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 7:46 AM on August 13, 2008

Border collies are ADHD with boundless energy. Irish setters are as dumb as a sack of hammers. Beagles are barky, and a basset hound once bit me.

Therefore you cannot have a dog.

No, seriously. Get a mutt from a shelter.
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 5:45 PM on August 12, 2008

I don't know if it's a mistake, but Ian MacKaye snarling, "Play it faster!" during the opening riff of the song "Minor Threat" makes me very, very happy.
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 10:04 AM on August 7, 2008

Perhaps too obvious is John Allen Paulos' Innumeracy, and its sequel, Beyond Numeracy.
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 9:41 PM on August 5, 2008

Husker Du -- New Day Rising. It doesn't get any more succinct.
Bad Brains -- Sailin' On (link is to a Living Colour cover I never knew existed. Cool.)
Bad Brains -- Attitude

...in fact, just go listen to Bad Brains.
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 1:33 PM on August 5, 2008

US animal-related fatalities by region, 1991-2001

Ten deadliest US animals

Googling this led me to an interesting .pdf: "TOTAL NUMBERS AND ODDS OF AN ACCIDENTAL DEATH IN THE USA BY CAUSE OF INJURY in... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 10:13 PM on August 4, 2008

Is a pizza ever served with a pickle spear and chips? No! Clearly it cannot be a sandwich.

I find this to be a convincing argument.

Also, Miko -- a calzone is not a sandwich. It is a pizza singularity, the result of a pizza collapsing on itself. A pizzalarity, if you will.
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 9:35 AM on August 4, 2008

I thought it was the evil, evil folks at the Elias Sports Bureau who kept all the stats and dribbled them out a bit at a time.

I go here to get after-the-fact stats.

I've thought of this before -- I'd like to be able to scrape the NFL site and dump the data into Excel to play around with, but I'm sure that would result in me being extradited to a black site and waterboarded until I was an Arizona Cardinals fan.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 8:31 AM on August 4, 2008

As I understand it (and I'm sure someone will jump in and correct me if I'm wrong), in the US medical debt cannot be reported to credit bureaus as long as the debtor makes an effort to pay. So fuck all the forthcoming bills, just send 'em five bucks every month and keep a record of it. Voila -- we've solved the no-insurance problem.

NOW GET THE MAN TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM!
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 10:11 PM on August 3, 2008 marked best answer

Many cats detest the smell of lavender. Leave some out on the areas he's jumping on and see if this dissuades him.
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 10:09 AM on August 2, 2008

In Will Oldham's defense, it is necessary that he take himself so seriously to erase his painful memories of being a second-rate made-for-TV movie actor.

Hating on Will Oldham: it just feels right.
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 4:35 PM on July 31, 2008

I don't hate hippies. I hate trustafarian jam band fans who smoke my pot, steal my stuff, try to sell me Valium, and then bitch and moan when I want to listen to good music like The Clash and Wire instead of bad music like Widespread Panic and Phish.

It's not the drugs that rot your brain, people, it's the jam bands.

I'm all for alternative lifestyles, freedom of expression, and rejecting the status quo. What I'm NOT for is using that as an... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 2:26 PM on July 31, 2008

In my parent's downstairs wet bar there was a figurine of a lush hugging a lamp-post and printed on the base beneath it were the words "It must be five o'clock SOMEWHERE!"

The date on the base of the figurine was 1962, so the phrase goes back at least a decade further than the previous cites.

(We also have cocktail flamingoes, Gig pity-kitty prints, novelty shot glasses commemorating the opening of the Sands Hotel & Casino in 1952,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 1:30 PM on July 30, 2008 marked best answer

Send her a link to the blog Thoughts From a Sandwich, particularly his "deconversion" account.

It's a well-thought series of posts by an attorney who came to realize the logical absurdities of his fundamentalist belief system.

Also, realize that proselytizing about your beliefs is one of the things that we atheists hate about the righteous believers. So, uh, don't do that.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 1:33 PM on July 28, 2008

Grow one. If you hate it, it'll take just a second to shave it off. No big deal.
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 11:57 AM on July 27, 2008

Wave Me Goodbye, Stories of the Second World War, edited by Anne Boston, is a collection of short stories by female authors describing women's experiences of the home front in the UK and the US between 1939-1949.

It's well worth reading. I found my copy in the remainders bin when I worked for a bookstore, the cover is stripped, and I've read the whole thing a couple of times. MeMail me an address and I'll send it to you, gratis.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 4:10 PM on July 21, 2008 marked best answer

In a safe deposit box at the bank.

Not ingenious, but indubitably safe.
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 11:17 AM on July 21, 2008

I've never owned a bird.

But I trained a cat not to stalk (or mess with) my iguana by introducing the two when the cat was a kitten and allowing the iguana to kick that cat's ass, forever implanting in the cat the thought that the iguana was Not To Be Messed With.

So, yeah, I guess my advice is to allow your bird to beat your poor helpless kitten to within an inch of its life. Probably not the soundest plan, but hey.

And please don't declaw your cat.
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 1:06 PM on July 18, 2008

I used to have a similar job at a call center where you couldn't bring in paper from outside the call floor (we handled personal financial data, and no paper went in or out), so crossword puzzles and even newspapers weren't allowed. So I would play chess with the guy in the next cubicle. Also, Minesweeper. Hours and hours and hours of Minesweeper.

That's hardly productive, though.

I also used the time to kinda sorta hone my VBA skillz by taking... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 12:07 PM on July 17, 2008

I don't know where you are, but minor league baseball games are cheap, fun, and often have $1 beer and 25¢ hot dogs -- You can have a full evening of fun for $10, and it's a great way to hang out with your friends.
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 8:44 AM on July 14, 2008

Not precisely what you're looking for as it is focused solely on the US, but well worth mentioning, is John McPhee's Annals of the Former World.
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 8:27 AM on July 14, 2008

Hunter S. Thompson trained his Dobermans to attack when they heard the word "Nixon".

Just a data point.
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 7:12 PM on July 13, 2008

Booze makes me ten feet tall and bulletproof. And immune to criticism. Until I take that tipple too far, and become a whingeing bag of neuroses. YMMV.

Pot makes me have wonderfully complicated ideas that dissolve as soon as I reach for a pen.

Cocaine is for suckers.

I recommend deadlines, practice, and never editing anything without first letting it sit untouched for a week.
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 1:53 PM on July 13, 2008

[NOTE: I am here to give you bad advice. Do not listen to me.]

"See you in hell, fuckers!" is the most satisfying, soul-filling, put-a-bounce-in-your-step sentence in the English language, and there are an extremely limited number of occasions where it can be justifiably deployed. This is one. Don't miss a chance to storm out, righteously pissed, flipping your ex-boss off.

Those who tell you not to burn bridges and to be polite are... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 9:31 AM on July 13, 2008

Make bourbon balls!

Then give them to your friends' children and watch the hilarity ensue!
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 10:50 AM on July 7, 2008

Mr. Mosquito
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 12:43 PM on July 5, 2008

"proof" = (% ethyl alcohol) X 2. "Eighty proof" means the booze is 40% ethyl alcohol.

Any booze over 40 proof will ignite (I think, but I could be wrong) though you won't get a nice sustained blue flame until you get over 80 proof, and even then there's enough other liquids to douse the flame rather swiftly.

Use 151 for all your flaming alcohol needs (though Wild Turkey 101 will work in a pinch).... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 11:56 AM on July 1, 2008

I would repaint the shed pink with green polka dots, but then I'm an asshole who goes out of his way to alienate his neighbors.

Or paint it matte black and then stencil the Motorhead horned skull on the side facing her house. That'd be awesome.

Nah, too much work.

Just ignore her.
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 2:09 PM on June 30, 2008

Spend a month washing dishes.

Spend a year tending bar.

Spend a year waiting tables.

Spend a year as a front of the house manager.

Spend a year as a line cook.

Spend a year as a kitchen manager.

Then decide if you want to open a restaurant.

Chances are good you won't.

But if you still do, chances are good you can make it work.
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 1:02 PM on June 26, 2008

The DoubleTree on 20th Street is about $100 a night, and an easy cab ride to the Alabama Theater.

I sent you a MeFiMail, btw.
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 8:53 AM on June 26, 2008

IANAE either, but it seems like a rheostat would be wired the same way as a toggle switch, since they are designed to fit in a similarly configured switchbox.

The chances are good, however, that I am UTTERLY AND COMPLETELY WRONG.

(Seconding longer chains)
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 4:13 PM on June 22, 2008

Spend $500 on a beater Festiva and put a lift kit on it.

No, srsly.

The suspensions are made in Brazil, designed for rugged unpaved roads. They get great gas mileage. They don't go very fast, and they're woefully underpowered, but they're tough as nails, easy to fix, and cheap cheap cheap.
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 8:54 AM on June 21, 2008

Team Laser Explosion!
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 12:34 PM on June 20, 2008

The wooly blanket technique works well.

Also, some cats hate the smell of lavender, so a spritz of lavender water (or just some crushed leaves beneath the sofa cushions) may be dissuasive.

Or you could just varnish the cat.
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 2:49 PM on June 17, 2008

I used to work in a restaurant where after the shift meeting all the servers would chant (in an only semi-ironic fashion) "Big money, big money, no whammies!" It was years before I realized this was taken from the TV game show "Press Your Luck".

Also, in a lot of restaurants that are closed Sunday/Monday, Saturday night is "heavy clean", when management would recruit kitchen and floor staff to stay late and do the detail cleaning that often... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 10:07 AM on June 14, 2008

"You should see the other guy!"
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 12:25 PM on June 13, 2008

Dan Simmons' The Terror -- a novel about an 1840s Arctic expedition that (of course) goes Horribly, Horribly Wrong. It's hefty!
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 9:18 AM on June 10, 2008

Make pastitsio. It's delish. This is the recipe I use, except I use more than one pound of ground lamb and I add a tablespoon or two of tomato paste as well.
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 2:55 PM on June 7, 2008

Grilled cheese sammiches and tomato soup!

Also, learn to make tuna salad and chicken salad. You can spend twenty minutes making them in bulk and then not have to cook for three or four days. Plus, it's summer, and a cold salad plate is a nice dish after a hot day. And if you sub plain yogurt for mayo, it's not that bad for you, either. Here's the tuna salad recipe (the chicken salad recipe is a zealously guarded family secret)... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 10:27 AM on June 7, 2008

Seconding Scrivener -- I use it all the time.
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 9:41 AM on June 6, 2008

Summer Cannibals -- Patti Smith
Sun Is Shining -- The Dortbombs
Sunshine -- Screeching Weasel
100,000 Fireflies -- Superchunk ( not specifically summery, but it is to me)
posted to Ask Metafilter by BitterOldPunk at 3:58 PM on June 5, 2008