I would check the laws on your state for how long juvenile records stay on the books. Your best bet might be a call to the court where you were adjudicated; try and talk to someone who knows what they're talking about in records and see whether you're still listed there.

If the counties in Florida are anything like the ones in Oregon, they'll keep hard copies for 5-10 years (sometimes more) and then archive them to some storage place for another X years, depending on the... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 6:43 PM on July 23, 2008

Patent attorney is what I was thinking too. You have to have a "hard science" undergrad degree, though. Do you?

It seems like tax work wouldnt' be that adversarial. Neither would bankruptcy, really. If you stay away from personal injury, property disputes, family law and criminal law, it seems there would still be plenty of things out there to do. You could also be a corporate counsel.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 11:06 AM on July 18, 2008

I've been where you are. And looking back, at least 30 percent of the problem was me. Some of the "issues" were only issues because she knew i had problems with them. Other issues were real, and like your girlfriend, the person I was with refused to get counseling for the issues of abuse in her past.

There is nothing you can do. Your attempts to help the real problems will only make them worse, and your attempts to help the problems that are partially of your... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 7:58 PM on July 17, 2008

Squirrel: By broken, I mean she is has a problem that is affecting her ability to be an equal partner in the relationship. Further, she cannot or does not want to seek professional help that would allow her to deal with her past and heal her. It seems these things can heal with time, but the problems almsot always outlast the current partner.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 11:07 PM on July 17, 2008

You didn't chose to date this person. You don't get to chose to dump him, either. Make sure your friend knows how you feel. Once she knows that, you should drop the issue unless a) he becomes physically abusive or b) she asks you for your input. If you continue to meddle you risk losing her as a friend. Perhaps this is worth the tradeoff to you, if you feel that strongly about the negative aspects of the boyfriend. But the most likely outcome here in the shortterm is a broken friendship,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 5:42 PM on July 9, 2008

Excellent advice here so far. I agree with most of it. Why are you giving your kids any money? If they need to pay for school activities, then you write the check to the school. If they need new clothes, buy them for them. It's clear from your post that they can't be trusted with money right now; cut off all money and if they shape up, put them on a small allowance and give them discretion as they earn your trust.

Keep in mind this is not a co-equal relationship. You are... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 8:50 PM on July 8, 2008

I agree with the others, you should let this go.

However, you seem determined to find ways to not let it go. In that case, my advise would be to pretend that you never broke up. Call her up, make plans, make dates, go do fun things, ignore any talk about "the future" and just focus on having fun with her now. If she really was as torn about this as you perceived her to be (her teary eyes, etc) then she'll welcome any excuse to pretend it isn't over. And then,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 11:36 PM on June 28, 2008

Eugene works. So does Ashland. Both will be difficult with your budget. Astoria is actually on the coast and surprisingly liberal. You'd have to get used to lots of grey weather, though, as it's at the mouth of the Columbia and the ocean.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 9:22 PM on June 24, 2008

Humans have the ability to cope with all sorts of traumatic situations. This woman has really hurt you, obviously. If she had hurt you in a less egregious way (such as making out with someone, one time), you would be justifiably angry and maybe you'd just dump her right then and there. But she has stepped so far over the line of acceptable behavior, and inflicted so much hurt on you, that your pain mechanism has had to adjust and probably is misfiring now. Instead of viewing this as "why is... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 11:13 PM on June 22, 2008

One of those rare cases where I agree 100 percent with Optimus Chyme. Sure, there are people that get married at 19. You don't seem like one of them, though. You'll look back at this five years from now, regardless of what decision you chose, and think "man, I was young and stupid then." You'll eventually learn what you like in a relationship. Until then, make a decision and stick to it.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 9:29 AM on June 21, 2008

I like the article, fwiw. Quite an entertaining read. I agree with some of bunnie's points, though I think it's unrealistic to think an article about a horse race is going to find some outside objective observers. It's local politics; the only people with informed opinions are likely to be in the tank for one side or the other. Reading between the lines here: This is a crazy guy running against an incumbent. There is usually a nutjob or two running against incumbents in most cases, consult your... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 12:06 AM on June 9, 2008

You will almost always feel some sort of remorse and second guess yourself directly after a breakup. It doesn't really sound like you love her or even that she's a good fit for you - you like the idea of what she is. Those are two very different things, though. Don't get fixated on what you ought to like ... instead, find someone who is actually compatible with you without a drastic change in your personality.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 10:39 AM on June 7, 2008

You didn't mention this in your post so I'm unclear if you know this ... while you are in school, you have the option of deferring previous school loans until something like 6 months after you get out. (So my undergrad loans are being deferred now that I am in law school.) It obviously doesn't help you have a smaller debt load at the end of all this school, but it does make paying it a less strident concern while you're acutally IN school.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 11:04 PM on June 5, 2008

In my experience, and in the experience of all my friends, grades matter for two things: What schools you will get into in the future (such as grad school) and the very first job your get out of school. But you're not past the first job threshhold, I gather, and you probably don't know at this point whether further schooling is in the cards. So suck it up and get a decent grade if you can.

As for the averaging, though, you should really spend 5 minutes reading your... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 12:03 AM on June 5, 2008

I don't think unequivocal consent is expected in our society once people are already in a sexual relationship. Anon, once you had sex with him he might assume the relationship was continuing in a sexual context. He is at the very least unobservant and inconsiderate for failing to pick up the signals you were sending him that it was unwanted (when he'd lift up your skirt, etc.) More likely, he probably knew that the sex was unwanted. If that's the case, it was definitely rape.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 9:07 PM on May 31, 2008

The original question is ambigious and it might help if the OP clarified it. As phrased, it can be interpreted as 1) discussionfilter: Dear Metafilter Members: How do each of you pronounce 'read'? or 2) Language filter: Dear Metafilter Members: What is the proper pronounciation of 'read'?

Languagehat's explanation is sufficient but not definitive if the real question here is "what do you folks do with this word?" I've gotta agree with others here, though,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 8:29 PM on May 29, 2008

Your post provides many clues that suggest you shouldn't marry this guy. Mismatched sex drives + you being indecisive + the way you describe the "sensible" emotions of this relationship compared to the topsy turvy one in your 20s + the fact that the relationship was somewhat forged upon you taking care of his emotional needs while his mom was dying ... the fact that you have anything beyond platonic love for this guy sounds more like an accident than anything else.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 5:47 PM on May 26, 2008

Is dosepack an oral steriod? Because if not, you need a strong oral steroid to get it under control, and then you need Zanfel to treat the stuff topically. It isn't cheap but it is rather effective.

The hot water is a great temporary solution, as well.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 7:53 AM on May 24, 2008

There's been some wonderful advice here. My two cents: Some of the strongest Christians (both those I know personally and those in the public sphere) started their religious journey though either an active effort to disprove Christianity or a deep and fundamental questioning of every element of their faith. Three that come to mind: Paul, CS Lewis, and Josh McDowell. I honestly believe that God wants us to question everything; there's just so many inscrutable things in this universe, how could he... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 9:01 PM on May 8, 2008

End it. It's OK to have a body type you're attracted to. There's plenty of skinny girls out there who will love you, and on the flip side, there's plenty of guys out there who love the body type of the girl you're presently with. You both deserve better.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 1:00 PM on May 4, 2008

Other than belonging to a school with a horrid football program (Huck the Fuskies!!!) I don't see any reason you shouldn't go to Udub. As others have said, this is typical buyer's remorse. From the information you supplied, even if he had not yet made a decision between these two schools, it would be a close call. Now that you've made the decision ... well, there's really not much reason to try to retrace your steps. University of Washington will be awesome. Repeat this until you believe it.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 10:06 AM on May 4, 2008

Don't know your Stafford questions, but I can offer two comments. First, make sure you trust your friend 100 percent. This is a lot of money you are co-signing for ... I assume the friend already lives here in the states though, right? Because otherwise this has scam written all over it. And no amount of clever contracting with your friend will get you in the clear should she turn out to be a deadbeat - after all, you can't sue to get your money back from someone who has no assets.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 12:51 AM on May 4, 2008

When I first tried alcohol, the only thing I liked were girly drinks. Then a friend introduced me to Hornsby hard cider, which was better by a number of degrees. From there, beer became the natural progression. Now that I drink beer, it's harder to enjoy the cider or the girly drinks - the sugary stuff just isn't that good to me.

If you'd like to enjoy beers more, starting with cider and weaning yourself to beer is a good way to go. You might want to stay away from IPAs... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 10:30 AM on April 25, 2008

As someone who took the scholarship to attend a relatively crappy lawschool, I can safely report it's been a good choice thus far. I've just finished my 2L year and am about to be court certified so I can try cases for the local DA. I'm not a great student; I don't pay attention in lectures and I study about half as much as my classmates, if that. Yet I've had zero problem keeping my 2.9 GPA scholarship. The school I attend (Willamette) curves with an optimal distribution between 2.8 and 3.0; in... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 2:44 PM on April 23, 2008

You should really go to a timeshare presentation, as long as you are the sort of person that doesn't have a problem saying "no." You should do the presentation becaues they'll give you a bunch of free stuff to do so (we saved $300 bucks off a guided kayaking trip as our bonus for sitting through the 2 hour presentation and getting fed lunch.) But under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you buy the damn thing while you're on the presentation.

They willl offer you a great... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 1:20 PM on April 23, 2008 marked best answer

Check with your lawyer (you have retained a lawyer for this, right?) and make sure the tooth isn't needed as evidence before you go encasing it in acrylic or gluing it to the hood of your car or whatnot.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 1:11 PM on April 23, 2008 marked best answer

You should let him know how your feelings have changed. Obviously, it sucks for him to get permission to do something and then you retract that permission, but it's not going to come as a total shock to him, either. You will have to let him know, in no uncertain terms, that you are not able to deal with his ex accompanying him for several weeks in Europe. If he does it anyway, well, then that's probably a breakup right there, as what he wants to do will be more important than your feelings on... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 11:19 AM on April 22, 2008

Two things make this terrible: 1) She allowed your child to discover her cheating, thus damaging the kid. 2) She continued the affair after you found out about it.

Find a good divorce lawyer. It sounds like you're making all the effort to try to salvage this relationship. Why? She's the one who poisoned it. Yes, it sounds like you contributed to its decline, but she is the one that caused this rift. If she really WANTS to make it work, she'll get her act together when... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 8:43 AM on April 22, 2008

If the political groups a business supports give you pause, then yes, you should go somewhere else. As for me, I would patronize a business if it were convenient, regardless if they gave money to groups that diametrically opposed my view on abortion rights (and I'm on the other side of the fence as you, so I guess by that logic I'd have no problem going to a health club that gives boatloads of cash to NARAL.)

I can understand avoiding a business that has a reputation for... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 10:20 AM on April 20, 2008

Yes. We Sing, Joe Wise and Psalty the Singing Songbook. Psalty was awesome.

Oh, and Raffi.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 3:27 PM on April 19, 2008

No. Only two things can happen if you tell her. 1) She drops the fiance and marries you, or 2) She stays engaged and your friendship is forever damaged. Option 1 is very unlikely. 10 years and nothing has happened between you? As everyone else has said, she knows it already, and if she didn't, you wouldn't be asking this question on AskMe. If she stays engaged, however, then you won't be able to keep the same level of friendship and be fair to her fiance. Maybe you don't care about that, but at... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 11:16 AM on April 17, 2008

I don't think it's necessarily indicative of anything ... but he does understand WHY it's bad, right? It's unclear from "instructed him to never do such a thing again" whether you told him the why or issued a blanket prohibition. You might also consider making him apologize to the girls, too.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 10:04 PM on April 16, 2008

The best resume advice I ever received was in a little booklet that career services handed out at the University of Oregon. Find a similar career center and get such a booklet!

The overall advice from the ladders seems correct, and in the long run it would probably be well worth the $695. But you can get similar results for cheaper, if you put a little effort into it.

(One other thing: The advice I've received suggests you should make your name,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 11:23 AM on April 16, 2008

Pay him the money. Include what the money's for in the memo line of the check. Don't include a return address.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 6:30 PM on April 15, 2008

Sex. And the memories from that are even better than from the wedding itself (and the wedding was damn cool!)
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 10:43 AM on April 14, 2008

Love is a choice. The emotion you know after a few months is infatuation. It's starting to wear off, which is why you two are clashing so much. You can choose to love her, and then the emotion you call "love" will come back every now and then. But it sounds like you're in two very different situations, and the tension will make the choice to love each other all the more difficult. And it will cut down on those times when you actually feel "in love".... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 11:33 PM on April 13, 2008

Pleaes don't put this level of detail on the internet when it's a legal matter. It would suck to have the adverse party be able to use any of this against you.

If you feel you're being lied to and don't believe the contract is valid, I suppose you could just cancel the contract and see whether or not you get sued. Then when you get sued you can countersue or defend on the notion that they were lying to you and the agreement was unenforceable.... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 11:31 PM on April 12, 2008

Yes, timing really is that important. It's also a good way of making yourself feel better when you are torn from that perfect someone and you wondered what went wrong.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 2:36 PM on April 11, 2008

I don't know if you ought to do this, but if you think you should, you must talk to a lawyer to proceed. If you're short on money perhaps you can pay on a contingency fee basis, but realize if you win that's really going to take a big chunk out of your winnings. Also, people have already said this but estoppel is an affirmative defense: You are estopping the other party from claiming a particular line of attack. Perhaps you can make a claim under promissory estoppel, which might be its own legal... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 2:34 PM on April 11, 2008

It sounds like you are starting to come out of your shell. Congratulations! Please don't let this girl get in the way of where your life is growing and how you are adapting. First, she thinks you are a "nice guy". This is code for "let's keep it as just friends." Second, she has a fling with your bad-boy friend and thinks she can change him. This is typical for the type of girl that is attracted to pricks. This is fortunate for guys because there are a lot of pricks among us,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 7:44 AM on April 11, 2008

I don't know if any of you will come back to this thread, but my wife and I really appreciated all the feedback you guys gave us. We decided to write our own vows, using the classic structure as a framework and then expanding it a bit from there. The wrinkled notecard with my vows scribbled on it is now saved in our wedding scrapbook. (I told her I had memorized my vows but she made me carry the notecard because she didn't want to be the only one looking at a reference sheet; as it turns out I... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 7:12 PM on April 10, 2008

Can you link to your previous question? You have a lot of details but it's rather thin on context ... and perhaps this is just a writing style you have, but reading this post you sound all over the place. I have this image of you showing up in California with a suitcase and a plan but no idea how to implement it.

Obviously, you could pack up tonight and drive out to California tomorrow. But it will be a lot easier finding a good job and making money with a professional... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 6:54 PM on April 10, 2008

I am not a lawyer yet. I am not trained in trademarks or copyright. It seems like you already have some advice from that thread you linked to with the cease and desist e-mail and the commentaries by others.

What I will say is this: There's a big difference between a cease and desist letter and a lawsuit. You have three options: 1) Ignore them completely 2) Don't write back, don't pay money but do take down the image from your site. 3) Engage in a licensing agreement as... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 7:41 AM on April 9, 2008

Every state bar has some sort of referral service. Call up the bar in your state and tell them your problem. They'll find you a lawyer.

Alternately, use a phone book.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 8:36 AM on April 9, 2008

Dump him. Your needs aren't being met and he deserves someone who actually wants to be with him for who he is instead of a guy who you dated because he was there.

I think all this philosophical handwringing in your question just means you're confused or that you want an out. I don't think you actually believe you were born to be alone, or that you honestly WANT to be alone or that you even really enjoy the emotional turmoil of breaking up and finding someone new. You... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 10:12 PM on April 8, 2008

See if you can get help at a legal clinic or the like. It looks like you're getting screwed. You might have some luck in small claims court or mediation.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 10:39 AM on April 7, 2008

Sure, ask her out on a date. You'll get more dating experience and learn sooner than later that dating an opposite probably won't work. (Might be a fun date but she doesn't seem like your type, from what youv'e said about sleep/party/alcohol preferences. Just don't get your hopes up.
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 1:08 PM on April 3, 2008

Kauai is fantastic. If you want something 180 degrees opposite of Oahu, though, go to Molokai. It's basically half desert island/ranch and half lush jungle. Very few people live there, there's neat stuff to do and we saw very few tourists when we went. (We camped on the island, but there's a very nice hotel on the ranch that takes up the west half of the island.)
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 10:50 AM on April 2, 2008

Unless they are blogging using your full name, you are overreacting. Anyone you know who can identify you from a blog post where your first name was used would likely hear about said information firsthand from gossip or some other fashion. The Web just speeds up transmission.

If someone is blogging using your full name, or you have a highly unusual first name, that might be more of an issue because then if future employers/lovers/government agents google for your name... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 11:02 AM on April 1, 2008

If you decide to go with one of the big 3 newsmags, US News is by far the best of the three. Its editorial slant is admittedly right of-center (as opposed to slightly left Newsweek and Time), but it does a good job of covering a wide breath of issues without turning into people magazine (something I think Time and Newsweek do more than occasionally). It has the best feature articles (more thorough, more perspectives) and does the best job of political coverage, too. It always struck me as being... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by Happydaz at 6:28 PM on March 31, 2008