I thought for sure that Mr. Mustache spinning the barrel on the revolver...

*cough*Cylinder*cough*

'scuse me. Just had to clear my throat.
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 12:53 PM on December 7, 2009

I first misread it as he spun the revolver on a barrel (I assumed Russian Roulette style) and I was confused enough as to what the hell something like that would be doing in any video as described above, that I broke with my tradition of not watching videos at work to see what was going on.

To be honest, I was a little disappointed. I was hoping for some The Deer Hunter kind of action interspersed in there.
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 1:16 PM on December 7, 2009

Burhanistan : Get a Glock.

Blasphemy. Handguns should have external hammers, and if semi-automatic, manual safeties. This is the right, and only way. (Unless you are talking about the Glock 18 which transcends typical striker fired ickyness by virtue of being select fire fully automatic, and generally unobtainable.)

Walther P99s also don't count as striker-icky because I say so. Deal.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 9:50 PM on December 7, 2009

I wanted to like Dollhouse and actually did get into a bit the first season, despite a litany of problems I had with certain aspects. But over time it just kind of wore on me. Not the concept, which was actually pretty compelling, but the execution. I like the idea stated upthread that it should have followed the people in the Dollhouse and the dolls themselves should have been background characters. It would have made for a much more interesting premise.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 10:40 AM on December 4, 2009

Rhomboid : Plus Joanne Kelly needs like a lip collagen intervention or something.

I feel bad for saying this because I kind of enjoy the show and I think she does a fine job, but every time I see her, I think that she's about the prettiest fish I've ever seen.
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 3:35 PM on December 4, 2009

I realized a few years ago that I can't pull off Hipster. I don't do ironic detachment; if I wear a Motley Crue concert shirt, it's probably one I got from a Motley Crew concert. It's clean, and hey, I still listen to them sometimes. Same with hats and shoes and whatever.

A few years ago I found a leather driving hat that I thought was really funny, but the more I wore it, the more I realized that it was actually pretty damn comfortable and it actually looked kinda cool.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 2:30 PM on December 4, 2009

The whole story sounds suspect to me, but ignoring that; "Brad was no longer thought of the senior trader at Æxecor; instead, he was the guy who accidently bought all that coal."

Shit, if I found myself in this inconceivable position, I'd quickly become known as the "Don't piss me off, or you'll end up with a literal ton of unwanted coal in your life" guy. I mean, it doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, but it does have a certain power to it.
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 8:52 AM on December 4, 2009

Ok, I get that handguns are essentially illegal, but this kind of reaction over a Lego/ toy? Doesn't this generate a huge number of false positive hits? I mean, there must be people with airsoft and pellet guns the like, no?

I would think a softer, lower impact investigation up front might lead to a lot less need for shouted orders and assault rifles and shotguns being pointed at people. The confusion and tension inherent to those situations can way too easily lead to an... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 8:16 AM on December 4, 2009

Apparently, left to their own devices, people draw penises.

See, the little eyes make it look like a snake... Oh, you just said "draw", not "draw on their"

I believe I've said too much.
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 2:29 PM on December 3, 2009

What will I pipe the Treaty of Westphalia into now?

That's some kinky shit right there.
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 3:35 PM on December 3, 2009

Just so I'm understanding; these guys resign and the banks stay open, right? Them leaving doesn't actually change anything other than the people who were directly responsible for creating an environment where a bailout is needed 1.) don't get paid bonuses and 2.) quit on their own, while leaving the financial institution itself intact.

Because in my neck of the woods, we call that "serendipity". If we could find a way to ensure they don't get to work in this... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 2:51 PM on December 3, 2009

One thing I've noticed in more recent movies is that people finally seem to know how to use their keyboards. Whenever you watch a tech-movie from ten or fifteen years ago, and you watch a character type something, you can often see them just randomly hitting the keys. Nowadays, more often than not it looks like they actually are typing with a purpose. Or, at the very least, not hitting multiple keys at the same time and using more than the SDF JKL to create their words.
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 12:28 PM on December 3, 2009

I loved that after all that he concluded with: "Ok. Good luck with your project. If you need anything let me know."

That actually made me laugh harder than the brilliant yes/no pie chart.
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 10:20 AM on November 26, 2009

I'm burning all of you with jealous mind fire right now because I'm at work and can not watch this.

Do you feel it? The heat in your brain? That's me.
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 2:00 PM on November 24, 2009

Ok, I've now seen the video and you can consider your brains safe. I apologize for anyone who may have suffered cranial incineration in the interim.

What is about Beaker that speaks to me so? I sometimes feel like he's the only one who really gets me.
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 6:23 PM on November 24, 2009

The Whelk actually already linked this upthread, but I didn't catch it till youtube recommended it to me.

Beaker - Ode to Joy
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 6:54 PM on November 25, 2009

Oh sure, you laugh now. But imagine the horror you'd feel if you glanced out your back window and saw someone that looked exactly like that peering back in at you.

You could scream all you wanted, it wouldn't bother him at all... Though you might make him a little more confused than he clearly already is.
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 12:29 PM on November 24, 2009

I feel for the guy. I mean, it's not like you have any control over the circumstances of your birth, but

"I don't even kill bugs. I've had long hair all my life. I could make it go away, but I can't let the world and their fears change me."

Try to not string semi-random thought fragments together. Because that thing you just said? Sounds a bit like something a crazy person would say.
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 3:22 PM on November 23, 2009

My friends and I have long discussed the Viking funeral. But we are kinda trash, so it would end up being held at some small lake, and probably using a boat made out of pallets and empty 55 gallon drums. This would help though, because we figured we could leave some gas in them, that way when I'm set adrift, and the party on the shore heats up to really Bacchian levels, someone can turn to the water and fire a flare gun at my remains sending up a mighty fireball to the sky.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 1:52 PM on November 23, 2009

bright knight : Hugs being so sexualized is the outcome of intense sexual repression. So, of course the solution is more sexual repression.

Well, in fairness, I've had some hugs that were really, really dirty and sexy and...

*gets lost in thought reminiscing*

I'll be in my bunk.
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 1:15 PM on November 23, 2009

As I'm reading through these, I'm seeing a common theme: All the original arguments seem to be predicated on the fact that because we don't understand something, it must be god.

I can see why this wouldn't be pointed out in the Flaws sections, as it does nothing to move the argument, but for me it boils down to "I'm okay with stuff not having answers that we know about right now."
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 1:02 PM on November 23, 2009

I want ones on my knuckles that are tied to my emotional state; when I'm happy, it glows a faint blue and says "Whoo" or "Yay!" or something, and when I get angry it turns to a bright red and yellow and says "Hate" and "Kill".

This would be useful in meetings at work.
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 12:45 PM on November 23, 2009

I'd love to build a forge, but I know where that would lead: 3am insomnia-fueled knife-making. And working an anvil at those hours in the suburbs is a great way to develop a serious resentment between me and my neighbors.

And I'm a pretty crappy neighbor to begin with. Something like that might push them into open warfare with my yard.
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 10:29 AM on November 23, 2009

Since "shallow graves" seems to be a politically incorrect way of dealing with people like this, I suggest that whenever it's encountered in the wild, it should be met with open derision. Ideally, this should be public, and if at all possible, broadcast so that others can see it.

*holds microphone into mans face*

"You don't believe the president was born in the US? Jesus, did you suffer some kind of head injury at some point?... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 10:17 AM on November 23, 2009

I made one of these about a month ago to replace a lost ring and I was so pleased with the result that I thought it might make for a neat post. I didn't think to look on the web before I started making mine and as a result, my finished ring looks quite a bit different from the ones linked, despite the fact that used almost identical tools; I spent a lot of time hammering from the side as well, so I ended up with a ring that almost looks pipe cut. Unfortunately, doing it this way obliterated any... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 8:51 AM on November 23, 2009

never to iron a shirt in your life:

buy ten pairs of black cotton socks...

So now I'm going to go home and try to find the cameras he's been using to monitor my activities.

Although, he is wrong about this: If the first nail won’t hammer into a wall, the second won’t either. this is one of those cases of "needs a bigger hammer, needs a bigger nail, repeat until nail sticks".
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 11:47 AM on November 20, 2009

lefty loosey righty tighty.

I've got some stock-tank bulkheads that defy this convention and confound me to no end. I'm sure it's so that when you are screwing something into them, they don't loosen themselves up, but I still feel like an idiot, in that, I have to relearn how it works every time I need to do anything with one.
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 4:27 PM on November 22, 2009

With all of the computers, birds, fishtanks, fishtank lights, and other assorted electricity eaters in my house, I would think I'd be thrilled about the idea of being able to track this kind of thing real-time and remotely.

But for whatever weird reason, I feel like its a letter from someone I don't want to correspond with, and I'd rather just let it sit unopened for another day.
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 11:35 AM on November 20, 2009

rtha : Only mine would say something like: stop tailgating me, I'm already going 70 mph and there isn't anywhere for me to go...

Oh man, I'm right there with you. I want my rear sign to read "Warning: Countdown to Emergency Brake Deployment: 5... 4... 3... 2..."

I don't want to hurt anyone, but I have to admit, that when I'm doing 20 over the speed limit in the middle or right lane and there is someone right on... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 8:18 AM on November 20, 2009

people need to stop taking this shit personally, it's not like they're looking you in the eyes when they merge a little too close to your comfort zone.

God, I would love to take it personally, I would be thrilled to believe that that the person tailgating me was being hyper aggressive, because that might suggest that they are a confident and capable (if asshole-ish) driver, but I don't think that is usually the case; I think that more often than not... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 11:12 AM on November 20, 2009

Hmm. I wonder how having a ring would have affected early nautical navigation; would we have progressed faster by having such a uniformly visible land... er... skymark?
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 9:44 AM on November 20, 2009

kathrineg : Why? Because wishing doesn't make it so.

In terms of the general efficacy of prayer, I completely agree with you. But when referencing language which could be a call to arms, I always worry that it will turn into a self-fulfilling kind of thing.

In other words, wishing in and of itself, might not do anything, but letting everyone know what your wish is, is sort of like advertising in the hopes that someone might... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 9:10 AM on November 20, 2009

There is a fairly simple solution to the taser problem that I've suggested in the past; any time an officer uses their taser, it should be treated and investigated in the exact same way as if they had discharged their firearm.

If there is any kind of impropriety found by the internal affairs investigation, that officer is disciplined and if necessary, removed from the force, and in extreme cases, charged with aggravated assault.

This is one of... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 8:27 AM on November 19, 2009

scunning : If you care more about innocent people being guilty than guilty people being innocent, then you need to raise the price of the taser use through procedural policies. But, note what you may be doing unintentionally - substituting towards other forms of control that have higher probabilities of lethality.

I think the capriciousness of the current way of doing things, where we allow officers to use tasers as a compliance tool, is far more... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 10:14 AM on November 19, 2009

Too bad the police aren't trained in other methods, but it may be an issue of resources, finance or other factors

I have to believe it's a lack of will to do it more than anything else. They are willing to throw absurd amounts of money at many departments in an effort to tach them out look like door-breaching swat ninjas, but they can't find some extra resources to provide actual practical training?

It's part and parcel... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 3:43 PM on November 19, 2009

"Don't touch it, it's evil!"

They keep telling me that, but I haven't gone blind yet.
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 1:49 PM on November 19, 2009

At least three million tons of fishlike creatures could theoretically live and breathe on Europa

I'm more concerned about the possibility of three fishlike creatures that weigh one million tons each.

Because you just know that one of them will end up being a jerk.
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 8:37 AM on November 19, 2009

Man, I'm so looking forward to getting to play with this at home on my 46" TV. It's going to be like living in a sci-fi movie; a graphical interface allowing me to drill down through spinning branches of images to the specific one I'm looking for.

Once it has porn, of course.
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 3:16 PM on November 17, 2009

r_nebblesworthII : but what about in the sci-fi context? I can't think of anything recent....

They may not fully rise to the level of Total Recall, but in terms of bodycount and blood sci-fi still can deliver: Equilibrium, District-9, and Ultraviolet come quickly to mind.
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 9:11 AM on November 17, 2009

like the most underrated movie of the aughts: Shoot 'Em Up.

Just for fun, one drunken weekend, I decided to try to figure out the body count in this film without using any of the web pages dedicated to such an endeavor.

I gave up as soon as they reached his loft. All I could come up with was "a fucking lot".

The opening scene is still one of my go-to moments when I'm feeling stressed out... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 9:39 AM on November 17, 2009

Artw : Crank 3, should such a thing come into being, will most likely be awful beyond words)

[SPOILERS MAY FOLLOW]

I love the franchise, but considering the way they ended the second one, with the fire and all, there is only one way I can see them making a third, and it would be the coolest fucking idea ever.

They need to turn Chev Chelios into the next Jason... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 12:05 PM on November 17, 2009

My friend would say how stupid it is that Deadpool could block bullets with a sword and I kept saying I don't care as long as it looks like he could.

My complaint was that the blades they put in Deadpool's arms were so long that he wouldn't have been able to bend his elbows when the blades were retracted.

That shit offends my nerd sensibilities! I accept Adamantium skeletons, and mutant powers, but not that for some reason.
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 1:55 PM on November 17, 2009

And seriously, the employees at the big boxen know absolutely nothing.

Not true! On numerous occasions, I've had them direct me to the local Ace because it's the only place I'll be able to get the help I need.

So I guess you could say that they know what they don't know.

And to be honest, I'll not slag Menards or Home Depot too hard either way, as long as I don't need questions answered,... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 10:27 AM on November 17, 2009

I like "unfriend". As a word, it seems so much less loaded than "murder" which was my only other option previously.
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 8:52 AM on November 17, 2009

I kinda hope Google goes: "OK, have it your way", and sets up their spiders to never crawl any News Corp affiliates.

This would be funny, but it would play into the "we're being victimized" mindset that fans of Murdoch's networks seem to get off on.

I'd much rather Google just ensure that any News Corp article or link got pushed back to about page 5 on the results. Not so much "Ha, we're blocking... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 8:01 AM on November 17, 2009

This feels like one of those really dumb situations that didn't need to happen at all if the players involved really thought about what was going to happen;

ex-soldier: *calls police station* "Hi, my name is Paul Clarke. I live at [address], and I've just found that someone discarded a firearm in my back yard in a black plastic garbage bag. It looks to be a cut down shotgun with some loose shells, and I didn't want anyone making off with it, so I've secured it at my... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 12:58 PM on November 16, 2009

So I got it down from the garage (its edge was still worryingly sharp), wrapped it up in bubble wrap, then brown paper, wrote 'caution, sharp blade' on it in big black letters and put it in the boot of the car,

A machete might be a staple in horror movies, but honestly, there isn't any need to treat one like it's an unstable explosive. It's just a biggish, usually fairly dull knife (where "dull" is a specific value as compared to, say, a... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 3:51 PM on November 16, 2009

I only mouthed the under god part.

There is something vaguely dirty sounding about this sentence that I kind of like.
posted to MetaFilter by quin at 1:25 PM on November 16, 2009