Thanks, Happy Dave, that was great.
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 12:40 PM on October 11, 2008

Sounds like something Alan Watts might have said.
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 4:39 PM on October 8, 2008

Could be it's just a coincidence. I constantly found "causes" for my depression (low blood sugar, etc.) for years before getting into therapy and learning how to recognize the actual triggers, like a fight I'd had (duh), something someone said at work, etc.
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 9:20 AM on October 7, 2008

The book Feeling Good has CBT exercises for this sort of thing.

Take "I can't even watch TV without spitting nails with all the product placement."

Underlying this is a belief that TV "should" not have product placements. It's as if you believe in an objective morality that TV must not, under any circumstances, have product placements. It's as if you were Christian, and "Thou shalt not have product placements" were... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 9:15 AM on October 7, 2008

Definitely doable. You might want to consider living over the bridge in Arlington, where you can get the same for much cheaper or much more for the same.
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 9:09 AM on October 7, 2008

Therapy, therapy, therapy. You are why therapy exists. It can help you drastically.
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 10:25 AM on October 4, 2008

Nth Blue Nile.
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 10:23 AM on October 4, 2008

Keep in mind that sometimes witnesses go away. The statute of limitations might be long enough that they'll just wait until you can no longer track down the witness, and then sue you out of the blue. (That happened to me.) I'm not sure how that translates into advice, but there it is.
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 10:22 AM on October 4, 2008

Overcoming Bias
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 11:27 AM on October 1, 2008

I have a friend who finds that going barefoot or sockless with sandals keeps his hands from sweating as much.
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 9:23 AM on September 27, 2008

I regret buying an ikea bed. It broke. During sex. Multiple times. And no, I'm not bragging about it. Also, the mattress is not nearly as good as one from a "real" mattress store. I think there was a thread about this a long time ago on AskMe.
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 9:22 AM on September 27, 2008

Have a real argument with yourself. If part of you believes that having more education/money/status makes you a better person and part does not, write down the absolute best arguments for each side, going back and forth and being as fair as possible. Maybe you'll convince yourself which side is right.
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 9:07 AM on September 27, 2008

Not to make excuses for McCain here, but one interesting argument I read from one of his campaign people is essentially, "Hey, we ran a clean campaign, talked about the issues, did town halls, the whole nine yards, and the media completely ignored us to go fawn over Obama. Going deep negative was the only way to get any attention."

Ezra Klein:

The McCain campaign's decision to lie about, well, everything,... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by callmejay at 7:40 AM on September 27, 2008

Meditate.
Compose blog entries or essays or short stories in your head.
Read the Bible critically.
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 11:50 AM on September 23, 2008

I got a BS in CS from UMCP and employers (for programming jobs) seemed quite impressed with that. Maryland's got a great reputation in CS, at least locally. I'd say do CE if you want to do hardware, but otherwise stick to CS. I think the CS degree is impressive enough that you won't have trouble finding a good job. One thing you might consider is cozying up to some of the professors, who often work closely with private companies and sometimes even work at private companies themselves.
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 9:24 AM on September 23, 2008

I can't believe nobody's mentioned therapy yet. It's more effective, empirically, than AA.
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 11:53 AM on September 22, 2008

watercarrier:

Sorry, I don't have time to track anything down right now and I should be clear that I'm not a doctor or anything resembling one, but I've seen various studies which revealed AA to be not only no more effective than therapy, but potentially worse than no intervention at all. (The abstinence-only message is thought to increase binge drinking in many people.)

Here's a link from a clearly biased against AA source for right now. I'm... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 2:28 PM on September 22, 2008

I'm not sure it's exactly what you're looking for, but Atul Gawande is not only the best writer on medicine that I know of, he's one of the best writers period.
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 2:14 PM on September 22, 2008

The more discouraging fact is: you give them the source code to your firewall system that is assembled there because well, everything is assembled there and you can't afford to compete on the market making it in the US, which means they can also write their own code or modify yours and insert a backdoor into your product.

They can do that with or without your source code.
posted to MetaFilter by callmejay at 11:51 AM on September 22, 2008

Cafe Deluxe in McLean might work.
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 10:24 AM on September 22, 2008

A fetus (before a certain point) is not a person. It has no soul (there being no such thing), it has no self-awareness, it has no personality, it does not love anybody, it does not have emotions. Many people love fetuses and think about them as if they already are little people, but that does not make it the truth.

It also does not give them the right to decide that they other people's fetuses so much that we all as a society have to pretend that they really are people.... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by callmejay at 7:21 PM on September 16, 2008

Fuck fuck fuck. I loved him.
posted to MetaFilter by callmejay at 8:12 AM on September 14, 2008

It's days like today that make me realize I love MetaFilter.
posted to MetaFilter by callmejay at 2:00 PM on September 14, 2008

I just saw this last night: Seth MacFarlane takes on Super Mario Brothers.
posted to MetaFilter by callmejay at 3:03 PM on September 11, 2008

The health difference between HFCS and sucrose:              ||
The health difference between sucrose and protein or fat:       |... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by callmejay at 1:34 PM on September 9, 2008

A clever attempt to position Microsoft as the regular guy, unaffected by Mac's insufferably smug attitude.

I think there's something there. They could do what Dunkin Donuts is doing vis-a-vis Starbucks: we don't need no stinkin' fancy-ass frou-frou macs. Real men use Vista.
posted to MetaFilter by callmejay at 10:10 AM on September 7, 2008

(For the record, once I spent a couple of days turning off features in Vista, I like it no less and no more than XP. And XP was pretty solid.)
posted to MetaFilter by callmejay at 10:10 AM on September 7, 2008

konolia:

See, I am an old fart who remembers that back in the old days, when morality and chastity were taught and expected throughout the old culture, there were still plenty of folks who "messed up." But even those folks agreed with the rest of us that it was best to wait till marriage for sex, it was best for moms to care for children, and so on

You make it sound like girls were "messing up" in spite of... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by callmejay at 5:16 PM on September 2, 2008

In the absence of being able to have physical contact, a fad has developed among dating students on campus where couples stare deeply into each other’s eyes. This practice by students is variously called "eye kissing", or "optical intercourse" and is jokingly called "making eye babies." This activity however is discouraged by the administration.

Holy crap, I did that! (I was an Orthodox Jew.) I thought we made that up.
posted to MetaFilter by callmejay at 6:10 PM on August 24, 2008

Possibilities:

Contributing somehow to nuclear-nonproliferation. If we kill ourselves, there will be no human race in the long term.

Some bio-weapons programs will conceivably have to be destroyed or contained by any means necessary within our lifetimes.

Eugenics. (You didn't say if you believe that the ends justify the means.) If you have genes sufficiently above-average to overcome the lack of parenting you will be... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 12:41 PM on August 19, 2008

I thought it was boring.
posted to MetaFilter by callmejay at 9:56 AM on August 18, 2008

Mindfulness meditation. See Jon Kabat-Zinn.
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 9:55 AM on August 18, 2008

But I'll come with another research option -- Gary Taubes' Good Calories, Bad Calories.

Second that.
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 9:08 AM on August 18, 2008

This is a very screwed up situation. It is not normal and it's not healthy. I'm saying that because maybe you don't know. This goes way beyond "how can I confront him without admitting I've been snooping?"

I'm not sure what to tell you, other than that you should find a wise person (relative? social worker? women's shelter? clergy?) to support you as you leave this man and hopefully start to build a healthy life on your own. I'm sorry your family's not... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 6:48 PM on August 12, 2008

We had dinner together every night, and on Friday nights my sister and I would climb into my parents' bed with my dad and just talk for hours in the dark. (We kept the Jewish sabbath and couldn't turn lights on on Friday night-Saturday.)

Once, on a vacation, my dad took me out to breakfast at like 5 in the morning and I got to eat Honey Smacks. It was so exciting.
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 6:43 PM on August 12, 2008

What if he's not scared by noise and light? You've wasted two tactical advantages (surprise and the better position, which you've quietly maneuvered yourself into.)

/not remotely qualified in any sense to discuss these matters
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 9:12 AM on August 12, 2008

I'm pretty sure the military doesn't want people with a death wish. Why don't you take care of yourself before you do that sort of thing? Maybe you could be a lawyer for the (non-military) government. They have good health insurance.
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 8:16 AM on August 12, 2008

Perl/Python/Ruby.
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 8:59 AM on August 11, 2008

It sucks, but it sounds like he'd just prefer to be alone than in a relationship with you. And if he can, he's going to try to have the best of both worlds, by keeping you around for when he's in the mood to act like he's in a relationship with you (minus the sex.) You should probably move on if you want a real relationship.

I'm not a doctor, but I can't imagine this has much to do with the Cymbalta.
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 9:12 AM on August 5, 2008

Steelcase Leap ergonomic chair.
A great recliner.
A good pen.
Post-it flags for marking books.
UltraFire C3 Cree flashlight. Smaller than a MagLite and UNBELIEVABLY BRIGHTER.
Boker Wharcom. My favorite pocket knife.
Disposable contacts.
A keychain pill fob.
Custom orthotics.
Comfy shoes. (Nikes and Naot.)
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 6:29 AM on August 5, 2008

The story echoes the Biblical story of Abraham begging God to save Sodom if there are even X number of good men there. Genesis 18:23
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 6:11 AM on August 5, 2008

I actually liked the father-son relationship in Knocked Up, although it was a minor subplot.
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 10:13 AM on August 4, 2008

Are you an elite athlete? If not, your chances are limited. Perhaps something like archery or shooting. If Gina Davis can do it...
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 1:02 PM on August 3, 2008

The Breathing Book is great.
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 5:40 AM on August 2, 2008

Nth the spyderco.
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 5:37 AM on August 2, 2008

I've been a professional programmer for 8 years or so.

Algebra is of course crucial. Logic is the essence of programming, sometimes (as in logic coverage testing) requiring some formal knowledge. Trig comes up occasionally, but I have to look it up anyway. (What's sin 90 again?) Calculus almost never. I'd say signal is right on about discrete math. You need to have a relatively intuitive understanding of complexity theory, graph theory, and algorithms,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 8:48 AM on August 1, 2008 marked best answer

I have seen three therapists in my life.

The first, I saw as an adolescent, just once or twice, with my family. I had no respect for her. She did not help. Whose fault that was, I don't know.

The second, I saw for a couple of years in my early 20s. She helped someone, serving mostly as a sympathetic ear and as an "adult" who accepted me for who I am and offered a different perspective on things. This was great for what it was,... [more]
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 12:40 PM on July 30, 2008

"She helped someone" should read "she helped somewhat."
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 12:40 PM on July 30, 2008

Go for it if you want, but with the awareness that you will probably be unable to enter an actual relationship with someone else during the whole time this is going on. Still, sex is sex, and sometimes that's ridiculously better than nothing.
posted to Ask Metafilter by callmejay at 9:00 PM on July 26, 2008

And what (other studies, etc.) are you talking about?

Oh, I'm not saying I know of any, per se. I'm just reacting to this idea that Pinker and Summers are sexist douchebags. I don't know much about Summers, but I've read some of Pinker's work and he strikes me as a scientist who legitimately wants to know what's true, not as some guy with an axe to grind.
posted to MetaFilter by callmejay at 10:34 AM on July 25, 2008