Curtis Ebbesmeyer, a U.S. authority on ocean currents and drifting objects, said a disarticulated foot could float for up to 1,600 kilometres in a buoyant sneaker.

This has to be the worst piece of trivia I've ever heard.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 3:15 PM on June 18, 2008

You must be at least THIS tall to ride Jack Sparrow. For safety, you should be in good health and free from high blood pressure, heart, back, or neck problems, motion sickness, or other conditions that could be aggravated by this adventure.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 4:52 AM on May 22, 2008

Spider Isabella will DIG her palpae in your epigyne...and run off!
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 8:46 AM on May 7, 2008

Great story, though I can't help but think: if the woman in the video spent some of that time, energy, focus, and talent learning to play an actual penis, she'd have developed skills that are also modes of expression and communication, and much less finitely fun than one game. But maybe that's just the old fogey in me.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 2:23 PM on April 10, 2008

That was fun. You can compare it with the original theme on this page.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 5:09 AM on March 7, 2008

"Relevant Church is proposing a challenge encouraging married couples to purposely engage in sexual activity for 30 days..."

You know, they don't specify that the sex has to be with their own spouse.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 11:57 AM on February 27, 2008

I splashed for about 10 minutes and the results looked nothing like a Pollock[...]

Somehow, I got mine to look like a Lee Krasner.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 11:32 AM on February 22, 2008

No Vietcong ever called me a Canadian.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 12:53 PM on January 28, 2008

Bastards. I'll have you know that some of our finest humanitarians are clowns [warning: slide-whistle].
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 8:03 PM on January 16, 2008

I was young, I needed the money.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 11:51 AM on January 11, 2008

One day I will wake up, and where I will be will be somewhere where cruelty is understood to include creatures that are other than human.

You need to look no further than Hollywood. You know the "No animals were harmed..." statement you see in the end credits of films? That's issued by the American Humane Association's Film and Television Unit. From a New Yorker article [reg req.] about the organization:... [more]
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 10:20 PM on January 6, 2008

Sausages are funny because they remind us of penises.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 7:28 AM on November 18, 2007

Emily Dickenson.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 11:05 AM on October 30, 2007

That's what I said to your mom.

It'll cost you twenty clams. Same as in town.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 11:30 AM on October 28, 2007

Whoever shot first, I'm quite certain that afterwards, the ewoks fucking jammed out.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 12:01 AM on October 15, 2007

Thanks for raising my awareness.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 9:40 PM on October 8, 2007

hahaha! Dagobert. What is that...like an Italian grizzly?
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 10:33 AM on September 28, 2007

You know, if each member here kicks in a dollar, we could buy that cheapo island.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 12:07 PM on August 17, 2007

Oh, hell. I think I left my schmorange in my other pants.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 6:58 PM on August 15, 2007

Here's a video of Evel Knievel jumping over some guy's head.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 5:34 AM on August 4, 2007

I've eliminated garlic through the usual channels...via the anus and sweat glands. I'd can't imagine the unpleasantness involved in eliminating an entire violin.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 11:24 AM on July 15, 2007

To all the frauleins out there who appreciate cartoonish genitalia, my email is in my profile.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 9:45 AM on July 13, 2007

I read somewhere that Ms. Portman credits her success to Brazilian low-fat yogurt.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 4:38 AM on June 20, 2007

That's so strange. My secret service codename just happens to be "Toby Keith".
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 9:26 AM on June 18, 2007

I'm admiring the composition and effective use of primary colors in this photo.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 3:49 PM on June 16, 2007

I was done with the video at around the two-minute mark. Now, I'm feeling listless, apolitical, and in need of a sandwich.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 7:55 AM on June 15, 2007

I'd do my clone if he were a little taller and wasn't such a selfish prick.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 9:29 PM on June 6, 2007

Seems like it would involve a lot of awkward fumbling, nervousness, some bleeding, and possibly crying during or afterward.

Hell, you don't even need a partner to experience this.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 11:39 AM on April 30, 2007

Jewish culture is discursive, scholarly, literate, and very much (in good and bad ways) fascinated with itself.

With Blood-of-Baby-Christians, you get eggroll. Twenty Minutes. Okay. Bye-bye.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 8:35 PM on April 25, 2007

Despite not making the list, my '94 Corolla has in no way helped me to exercise my heterosexuality.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 4:22 PM on April 12, 2007

Recently, scientists also tested the hair of Mama Cass. They found traces of ham.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 6:16 AM on March 2, 2007

In solemn memory for these two departed clowns, twenty one tearful mimes will scream at the top of their lungs for a minute down at city centre.

At a makeshift memorial, mourners will lay squirting flowers and rubber chickens in front of a pair of empty clown shoes.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 11:01 AM on February 21, 2007

Here's a great pillow for fans of The Godfather.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 2:00 PM on February 19, 2007

Anyone who makes a crack about Honoré de Balzac in this thread deserves to be cockpunched.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 6:07 AM on February 19, 2007

Now dogs can grab a beer at the local bar while smokers stand outside, sadly peering in the windows.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 12:59 PM on February 4, 2007

How do I get the test to start?
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 7:23 PM on January 25, 2007

But what if he fell of that rock in Norway.

Then we would have a video of Matt hanging in traction at various landmarks of the world.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 6:03 PM on January 21, 2007

How did anyone manage to masturbate without this new technology?
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 12:02 PM on January 19, 2007

Posting imgs would only derail this thread. I'm glad they're turned off.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 5:29 PM on December 15, 2006

I love that the tallest man in the world is Asian

Assisting in the procedure, a teetotaling Irishman held the dolphin down while the Italian veterinarian gave directions without using with his hands.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 8:07 AM on December 15, 2006

Minamata Pieta.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 8:03 PM on December 14, 2006

2-year-old Sadie deals with a heckler.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 5:09 PM on December 11, 2006

This service is pointless. Whenever I need to research my sexual history, I just go to the weblogs of past partners and search for the keywords "throbbing +heroic".
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 8:17 AM on December 9, 2006

I stopped at 49 of these works because I don't want to die.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 9:10 PM on December 7, 2006

Yodeling Swedes are the new Austrian Kangaroo.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 6:22 AM on December 6, 2006

Please don't tell me that kangaroos aren't Austrian.

Well, I'll be damned.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 8:10 AM on December 6, 2006

Thee perfect terrorist weapon is fear. Its everywhere too.

And who's responsible for this insidious weapon?

*looks directly at the camera*

All of us.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 6:29 AM on December 1, 2006

The clip would have been better if the man had been dressed as a pizza delivery driver who spouted horrible double entendres.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 8:54 AM on November 26, 2006

I was dazzled by the masterful keytar work in the video.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 9:24 AM on November 22, 2006

Here's video evidence of Derbyshire beating up Chinese people.
posted to MetaFilter by horsewithnoname at 11:55 AM on November 21, 2006