Activity from widdershins

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Ward + Robes
Fantastic. More of this, please!
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 6:34 AM on January 13, 2017

Now you are about to join another rarified club
I thought the letter was good. Honestly, at this point, I will take anything that focuses on our similarities and our shared humanity instead of our political divides. This letter was respectful and heartfelt and I wish people wouldn't take the cheap shots every. single. time. 2017: Be the change you wish to see in the world!
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 6:32 AM on January 13, 2017

They're Simple Dogs, Brent.
My sister-in-law adopted a failed service dog for the blind, a black lab. Super cute and cuddly, loves people, well-behaved, with just one minor problem: he piddles every time he gets excited. Which isn't really desirable for anyone (human), but I'm guessing for a blind person it's particularly problematic. Otherwise, A Very Good Dog.
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 8:02 AM on January 12, 2017

A Critique of the Mindfulness Movement
This is reminding me forcefully of our hygge discussion just a few weeks ago...
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 9:00 AM on December 5, 2016

Sensually yours (need erotic books/vids recommendations)
Came in to say Kushiel's Dart by Jacqueline Carey as well. Delicious storyline, set in an alternate past where sexual practitioners are trained and revered. Great trilogy (and goes on to 3 more books) with lots of sensual sex scenes. I reread all 6 about a year ago after about 10 years since first reading them and they were even better than I recalled.

If you liked 50 Shades and the Sleeping Beauty books, I think you'll also like The Story of O by Pauline Reage.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 11:31 AM on November 28, 2016

Dealing with estranged parent dying
I echo what most of the posters above have said, that it's an intensely personal situation, and only you will know.

My mom passed while we were estranged. I did not connect with her before she died. I don't have any regrets about it. I always thought I would, but in the end there was virtually no guilt, only a pinprick here or there for things I could have handled better. I had a lot of regret for the things that could have been, but not really for the choices I… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 10:56 AM on November 28, 2016

Settle in: its going to be a long winter
Oh man, as a Norwegian I'm finding both the article and the comments here oddly frustrating. There is nothing that exotic about hygge - honestly, coziness is a perfectly apt translation. And to be honest, I'm getting kind of offended that people are reading white nationalism into this. There is nothing surprising about the fact that as the world appears more threatening, people are flocking to things that feel cozy, feel connected, feel good. Just because something is associated with… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 8:18 AM on November 22, 2016
I take your point, EmpressCallipygos. Particularly because the packaging of hygge makes it something that can be bought, as opposed to created. And your thrift market decor example is apt, because hygge is almost the opposite of elegance or high-priced consumerism - it's literally about taking pleasure in the little things. So the only way to commercialize it is to label it - literally - so that unknowing people will try to buy their way to it. I don't want to put words into Dysk's mouth,… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 9:14 AM on November 22, 2016

“It’s remarkable, and it’s valuable.”
The iguana vs snakes bit - holy shit! I actually screamed out loud.

I figured the dancing bears video might be just the thing to release the tension, and it was! Superbly edited and wonderful.

So in short, I will be watching the hell out of this series. Can't wait till the kids come home from school so I can show them these clips.
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 6:03 AM on November 16, 2016

Strategy for calling your representatives
Very useful, thank you for posting.
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 6:35 AM on November 12, 2016

Of the people, by the people, and for the people: US election day
Another suburban CT voter here - we voted at 8:15 or so, and the ballot counter was already on 900, which is pretty amazing. We normally never have a line, and our wait was less than 3 minutes, but it started to build up behind us, which I also am taking as a very good sign. My 10-year old daughter filled out the ballot for me (we were in the corner, no one could see), she got her own "I voted" sticker, and she was seriously excited to be part of history and get to actually give a… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 9:05 AM on November 8, 2016

"People thought it was a really weird school"
Holy crap, I went to Uni and never expected it to be the subject of a MetaFilter FPP! I also had NO IDEA about this program - it ended almost 10 years before I started. I moved to LA in 10th grade ('86) and Uni was my districted high school, so off I went. Maybe if we'd lived in LA beforehand I would have known about it, but it was never mentioned at Uni. I really liked the school - it was a nice blend of the surrounding neighborhoods, some wealthy, some not - nowhere near as prissy as… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 7:04 AM on November 6, 2016

Legal Insurance
I am also in a same-sex marriage and we used the legal plan for the following:
- wills (they started with a boilerplate then customized for us; definitely well beyond doing it ourselves)
- minor legal matter
- closing on our first home

It was absolutely worth it and paid for itself many times over. I now work at a company that doesn't offer one, and I've been lobbying them to add it. No reason not to.

I will… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 12:24 PM on October 25, 2016

Alexander Hamilton's beany guacamole dip: 18 days to go
I... I made it to the bottom of an election thread before a new one was started. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified at the time I've wasted.

Honestly, I have *got* to stop reading this shit obsessively. I am getting zero work done.
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 2:44 PM on October 24, 2016

Planning for secret quonsar, 2016 edition
So every year that I read the SQ post and see julen's name I chuckle to myself, because "julen" in Norwegian means Xmas* and I think wow, I wonder if she is just SUPER into holidays...

(I've never participated because I'm a boring and busy soccermom with no quirky homemaking hobbies and fear my gift would be nowhere near cool enough. I enjoy reading about the amazingly creative things that people receive, though - a knitted uterus, case in point!)… [more]
posted to MetaTalk by widdershins at 2:01 PM on October 19, 2016

Swings and Roundabout
Holy shit, I cannot believe this article. I worked at UBS for 12 years and recognized Birkenfeld's name immediately. Like jpe said, he completely left out all the illegal shit he did, which is what he went to jail for - smuggling diamonds in a toothpaste tube for a client included. UBS was complicit, and deserved the fine it got, but this guy was not some innocent who just wasn't aware of what he was doing. He knew full well the laws he was breaking, as did the clients, and he had no… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 1:36 PM on October 19, 2016

Please help us with some cool elementary school science fair projects!
Thank you guys - I marked as best answers the ones I figured my kids would be most excited about. Definitely welcome any other ideas as well!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 7:55 AM on October 4, 2016

The Staten Island Ferry Disaster Memorial
Loved this. Gotta admit, I was suckered for a minute.
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 6:39 AM on September 25, 2016

Denied
RedOrGreen, you are spot on. I became aware in Kindergarten that something was up with my son's reading, and brought it to the teacher's and school's attention. The principal basically told me a) "boys are slower readers than girls", b) "he's totally fine, I've watched him myself and there's no issue", and c) "not all of your children are going to be as academically talented as your [gifted] daughters; your expectations are too high". We ended up having to pay… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 1:28 PM on September 19, 2016

“This is what love looks like.”
Oh minsies, I feel you. I had to leave my beloved Thalia behind when I divorced my ex. I was also moving to another country, plus there was just no way I could break his heart and take our dog as well. So I gave her up but I never gave up on loving her. This was many years ago now and she's passed away, but she was loved by my ex (and me from afar) to the end. Big hug to you.
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 7:40 AM on September 18, 2016

What shape are the numbers?
Wow, really interesting to read these responses. I don't visualize numbers at all. I do give them some personality traits, though:

1 is individual (duh)
2 is paired and bound
3 is ... huh, I guess I do visualize some numbers, because I keep seeing 3 dots in a row, like on a die, or ellipses. But 3 is unique, a little edgy and fun
4 is stable, but a bit boring
5 is wealthy and desirable
6 is my favorite number… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 3:18 PM on August 18, 2016 marked best answer

Stylish backpacks for women
I also am completely over regular purses - I'm so done with the back pain that comes from always slinging heavy objects over just one shoulder. I ended up getting a Brahmin packpack, and used it as my primary (only) purse for about 6 years and only replaced it when it was starting to look a bit too worn in for my professional workplace. Brahmin even replaced a strap free of charge when it accidentally hooked on something and snapped.

Just a few months ago, I got this… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 9:16 AM on August 8, 2016

My God, it's full of stars.
These are absolutely stunning. I normally keep a picture of my kids as my background shot (I know, but it makes me happy), but I had to replace it with one of these. So beautiful. Thank you for posting.
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 2:49 PM on July 29, 2016

The Olympian and the Terrorist
Great article. It is so damn hard to face the talk, the whispers, the silent judgment without becoming bitter, and it sounds like he's doing a really good job of it. I'm in the middle of the Invisibilia podcast about Aarhus that progosk mentioned above, and they call it non-complementary behavior - when you don't respond in kind. I aspire to be able to do this. Thanks for posting.
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 8:02 AM on July 21, 2016

Remember it's your life. Live it any way you like.
So damn good. Man, I'm going to miss this first couple.
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 7:46 AM on July 21, 2016

Hell has frozen over.
#1, hands down. Much more elegant yet fun, and way more appropriate for a wedding. But would absolutely get both and go with whichever looked better on. [but seriously, #1!]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 12:49 PM on July 20, 2016

most costly and financially most risky type of mega-project
I am a huge Olympics fan - Winter is my favorite (duh; I'm Norwegian), but I'll avidly watch every Summer program as well. I get cable turned on at my house for a month every 2 years, just for this. And then I watch on the apps as well. I frequently schedule vacation time around it (though not this time, and I'm fretting a bit about all the events I'll miss). I went to the Lillehammer Olympics and can't wait to go again someday. I'm not a fan of professional sports, but I looove the… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 9:34 AM on July 14, 2016

Why 'Tough' Treatment Doesn't Help Drug Addicts
I listened to this podcast this morning and really enjoyed it - had no idea Maia is MeFi's own. Very cool. Like Charles_Swan, I also have some conflicting emotions on how to handle addicts who break the law, and this podcast forced me to think about those emotions more deeply, which I appreciate. I recently read this article on harm reduction in Canada, which I really liked as well. Seems like such a small and easy way to improve the quality of life for one of the most marginalized… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 3:03 PM on July 11, 2016

Friend fraud: To reach out, or let it be?
A number of years ago, a co-worker that I'd kept in sporadic touch with was accused of stealing from the company I used to work for. (We worked at a travel agency and she fudged records/charged client credit cards to get free tickets for herself and her friends.) All of our old co-workers were pretty outraged and cut off communication. I sent her an email that basically said 'I'm guessing you can use a friend about now - I'm here if you need me.' She was really, really grateful and even… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 2:38 PM on June 28, 2016

When you wish upon a bra...
This part cracked me up because it's so damn true:

Women, however, think: “I’m going to be the kind of person who has hummus. I will buy a tub of hummus to effect this.”

I've actually been thinking about bras a ton lately because I need new ones. The ones I have now have finally gotten too stretched out and I feel like my boobs are sitting lower on my chest as a result. But then I think about getting a bra that actually… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 1:47 PM on June 28, 2016

Translated, he says: "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, we are winning this."
So I'm not really into professional sports - it always seems much ado about nothing to me. But when I watched this clip I was immediately lifted into the euphoria of the announcer, and I thought 'man, I should watch sports more often! This must be why fans watch!'

The only sporting event I really get super into is the Olympics. Particularly the winter Olympics. Particularly if Norway is competing. Then that announcer has nothing on me. Probably good it's only every 4 years...
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 10:27 AM on June 23, 2016

Movie: Finding Dory
Finding Nemo is our family's favorite Disney/Pixar film, so we have had this on the calendar since the date was released. We saw it Saturday night and I have to say... I was a little disappointed. Nemo had a lot more humor than Dory. And Ellen's voice was so much more ...optimistic 13 years ago. I also don't think this movie flowed as well as Nemo did.

That said, I loved the octopus and Sigourney Weaver. And of course the cute otters.
posted to FanFare by widdershins at 2:27 PM on June 20, 2016
Yes to the problematic 'crazy' bird and sealion scenes - inclusiveness only goes so far, I guess. I forgot to mention my favorite scene: when we see the lines upon lines of shells radiating out of Dory's parents' home. Deeply touching, particularly as a parent...
posted to FanFare by widdershins at 2:16 PM on June 22, 2016

Tell Me I'm Fat
I really loved this episode of TAL and found it very thought-provoking. I am married to a personal trainer who is not outwardly fat dismissive, but there's no question she thinks fat is at least partly a personal failing. I've been debating whether to tell her about this episode - I'm not sure she's open to hearing it, but it can't hurt, I guess?

I also found Elna's story incredibly powerful, and I really appreciate the article palomar linked above. That woman has… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 9:25 AM on June 22, 2016

Subject verb agreement
Thank you - exactly what I thought but this had been through a lot of eagle-eyed reviews and I was starting to doubt myself! Thank you again ~
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 9:50 AM on June 3, 2016
Well, after seeing this lively debate, I don't feel so bad for having to ask the question. It's gone to print with ARE.

Thanks everyone!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 11:27 AM on June 3, 2016

Getting Intense With Indigo Girls
Thank you for the trip down memory lane, hippybear. I had every single song on every single IG album memorized until Shaming of the Sun (at which point either the albums became less excellent or my tastes changed, not sure which).
Their cover of Romeo and Juliet was just ... gut-wrenching. I always liked the Dire Straits original, but it never pulled me by the collar and forced me to LISTEN the way the IG version did. You just knew Amy was laying her soul and pain bare for the… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 10:31 AM on May 31, 2016
OK, I'll give CONS a try - had heard good things about it. I didn't like PATBB very much, or at least not the songs I heard. I wonder if it's a case of the music being right for the time and the place, though - I have deep nostalgia for the IG songs I used to love (and still do), but don't feel the need to re-listen very often.
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 11:10 AM on May 31, 2016

Should I help a colleague with a job? Even if I find them mildly evil?
OK, I think the echo chamber in here has made it clear already that you are under no obligation to do this. Learn from my mistake:

I once highly recommended someone for a job that I honestly did not know well, but I was young and enthusiastic and eager to do both parties a favor (that's how I saw it). To cut to the chase, the person was not a good fit and ended up being let go. Because I had so highly recommended her, they waited longer than usual to do it, and it did… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 11:06 AM on May 26, 2016

Holy crap, that is painful. I mean viscerally, wince-inducing, frantically-scrabbling-for-the-mouse painful.
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 1:00 PM on May 20, 2016

Ancient ink
...and guess what the word octopus is in Norwegian? Blekksprut - which literally translated means 'INKSQUIRT'.

Love it.
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 10:20 AM on May 5, 2016

To helmet or not to helmet - plagiocephaly in 8 month old
When I noticed this in my 6-month old baby, the pediatrician said she was about a 3 on a scale of 10 and recommended we get a helmet. We took her to a craniosacral therapist instead who specializes in kids and infants, and after 3 sessions the torticollis was completely gone. She's 10 now and doing great.

Would highly recommend it - even if you are a bit of a skeptic like me, it's well worth a try to avoid the helmet if you can. Good luck!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 2:30 PM on April 26, 2016

Harriet Tubman will replace Andrew Jackson on the $20
Happy with this.
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 10:05 AM on April 20, 2016

Greatest Living Americans Bracket
I gotta say, I was meh about the David bracket, but I'm surprisingly emotionally invested in this one. So many tough choices and so many ridiculous winners. Erykah Badou over Amy Poehler? No. Jennifer Lopez over Lawrence? NO. Beyonce over Aretha? Mmm - tough one. I picked Aretha, but I can live with it. Ronda Rousey over RBG? OK, now it's ON. WTF?? My final 4 were Aretha, Amy Poehler, Oprah and RBG.
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 12:22 PM on March 17, 2016

Skill of the month
So many great answers! Thank you! I absolutely plan to let the kids choose - I'll probably make a list from this thread and let them vote. Can't wait to get started : )
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 11:07 AM on March 17, 2016

What can I do to make my community more interesting for $5,000?
I don't have any great ideas (but I love the mini library and parklet suggestions) but wanted to pop in and say I really love that you're doing this. What a great way to invest in your community. As someone unlikely to ever directly benefit from this, I thank you for doing something lovely in the world.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 9:23 AM on March 17, 2016

What should a resume look like now? What do hiring managers look for?
- To address your LinkedIn question: I am not on social media either - with the exception of LinkedIn. Think of it as a self-updating rolodex - it is hands down the best way to keep in touch with co-workers as the come and go, and it's an invaluable tool when you see a job posting at a certain company and you discover that someone you knew but maybe lost track of actually works there. You don't have to try to work the 2nd degree connections if you don't want to. Honestly, LinkedIn is pretty… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 9:37 AM on March 16, 2016

New Zealand flag referendum enters final stage
Oh man, I hope they vote to change it. The silver fern is such an iconic symbol of NZ - I think it's great.
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 8:04 AM on March 3, 2016

This is why we can't have nice things
Excellent article, and I'm so glad that Taryn moved away from the lynch mob mentality. A certain level of compassion is needed here.

Although "Wright, a dark-haired woman with precisely arched eyebrows" - what the hell is that about? And the repeated references to her living at her parents' home? That IS her home. Ugh.
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 9:23 AM on February 18, 2016

Getting off the gravy train
I did this.

I volunteered for a redundancy at a very well-paying but kind of soul-sucking job and skipped outta there. I absolutely loved having the time off, but would I do it again? No.

The key reason is that it took a lot longer to find a job than I anticipated. I was planning to be out for 6 months, but it took a year. And the key reason it took so long was that I was looking for a career change, which it sounds like you are as well.… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 12:51 PM on February 10, 2016

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