Activity from widdershins

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The Olympian and the Terrorist
Great article. It is so damn hard to face the talk, the whispers, the silent judgment without becoming bitter, and it sounds like he's doing a really good job of it. I'm in the middle of the Invisibilia podcast about Aarhus that progosk mentioned above, and they call it non-complementary behavior - when you don't respond in kind. I aspire to be able to do this. Thanks for posting.
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 8:02 AM on July 21, 2016

Remember it's your life. Live it any way you like.
So damn good. Man, I'm going to miss this first couple.
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 7:46 AM on July 21, 2016

Hell has frozen over.
#1, hands down. Much more elegant yet fun, and way more appropriate for a wedding. But would absolutely get both and go with whichever looked better on. [but seriously, #1!]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 12:49 PM on July 20, 2016

most costly and financially most risky type of mega-project
I am a huge Olympics fan - Winter is my favorite (duh; I'm Norwegian), but I'll avidly watch every Summer program as well. I get cable turned on at my house for a month every 2 years, just for this. And then I watch on the apps as well. I frequently schedule vacation time around it (though not this time, and I'm fretting a bit about all the events I'll miss). I went to the Lillehammer Olympics and can't wait to go again someday. I'm not a fan of professional sports, but I looove the… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 9:34 AM on July 14, 2016

Why 'Tough' Treatment Doesn't Help Drug Addicts
I listened to this podcast this morning and really enjoyed it - had no idea Maia is MeFi's own. Very cool. Like Charles_Swan, I also have some conflicting emotions on how to handle addicts who break the law, and this podcast forced me to think about those emotions more deeply, which I appreciate. I recently read this article on harm reduction in Canada, which I really liked as well. Seems like such a small and easy way to improve the quality of life for one of the most marginalized… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 3:03 PM on July 11, 2016

Friend fraud: To reach out, or let it be?
A number of years ago, a co-worker that I'd kept in sporadic touch with was accused of stealing from the company I used to work for. (We worked at a travel agency and she fudged records/charged client credit cards to get free tickets for herself and her friends.) All of our old co-workers were pretty outraged and cut off communication. I sent her an email that basically said 'I'm guessing you can use a friend about now - I'm here if you need me.' She was really, really grateful and even… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 2:38 PM on June 28, 2016

When you wish upon a bra...
This part cracked me up because it's so damn true:

Women, however, think: “I’m going to be the kind of person who has hummus. I will buy a tub of hummus to effect this.”

I've actually been thinking about bras a ton lately because I need new ones. The ones I have now have finally gotten too stretched out and I feel like my boobs are sitting lower on my chest as a result. But then I think about getting a bra that actually… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 1:47 PM on June 28, 2016

Translated, he says: "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, we are winning this."
So I'm not really into professional sports - it always seems much ado about nothing to me. But when I watched this clip I was immediately lifted into the euphoria of the announcer, and I thought 'man, I should watch sports more often! This must be why fans watch!'

The only sporting event I really get super into is the Olympics. Particularly the winter Olympics. Particularly if Norway is competing. Then that announcer has nothing on me. Probably good it's only every 4 years...
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 10:27 AM on June 23, 2016

Movie: Finding Dory
Finding Nemo is our family's favorite Disney/Pixar film, so we have had this on the calendar since the date was released. We saw it Saturday night and I have to say... I was a little disappointed. Nemo had a lot more humor than Dory. And Ellen's voice was so much more ...optimistic 13 years ago. I also don't think this movie flowed as well as Nemo did.

That said, I loved the octopus and Sigourney Weaver. And of course the cute otters.
posted to FanFare by widdershins at 2:27 PM on June 20, 2016
Yes to the problematic 'crazy' bird and sealion scenes - inclusiveness only goes so far, I guess. I forgot to mention my favorite scene: when we see the lines upon lines of shells radiating out of Dory's parents' home. Deeply touching, particularly as a parent...
posted to FanFare by widdershins at 2:16 PM on June 22, 2016

Tell Me I'm Fat
I really loved this episode of TAL and found it very thought-provoking. I am married to a personal trainer who is not outwardly fat dismissive, but there's no question she thinks fat is at least partly a personal failing. I've been debating whether to tell her about this episode - I'm not sure she's open to hearing it, but it can't hurt, I guess?

I also found Elna's story incredibly powerful, and I really appreciate the article palomar linked above. That woman has… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 9:25 AM on June 22, 2016

Subject verb agreement
Thank you - exactly what I thought but this had been through a lot of eagle-eyed reviews and I was starting to doubt myself! Thank you again ~
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 9:50 AM on June 3, 2016
Well, after seeing this lively debate, I don't feel so bad for having to ask the question. It's gone to print with ARE.

Thanks everyone!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 11:27 AM on June 3, 2016

Getting Intense With Indigo Girls
Thank you for the trip down memory lane, hippybear. I had every single song on every single IG album memorized until Shaming of the Sun (at which point either the albums became less excellent or my tastes changed, not sure which).
Their cover of Romeo and Juliet was just ... gut-wrenching. I always liked the Dire Straits original, but it never pulled me by the collar and forced me to LISTEN the way the IG version did. You just knew Amy was laying her soul and pain bare for the… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 10:31 AM on May 31, 2016
OK, I'll give CONS a try - had heard good things about it. I didn't like PATBB very much, or at least not the songs I heard. I wonder if it's a case of the music being right for the time and the place, though - I have deep nostalgia for the IG songs I used to love (and still do), but don't feel the need to re-listen very often.
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 11:10 AM on May 31, 2016

Should I help a colleague with a job? Even if I find them mildly evil?
OK, I think the echo chamber in here has made it clear already that you are under no obligation to do this. Learn from my mistake:

I once highly recommended someone for a job that I honestly did not know well, but I was young and enthusiastic and eager to do both parties a favor (that's how I saw it). To cut to the chase, the person was not a good fit and ended up being let go. Because I had so highly recommended her, they waited longer than usual to do it, and it did… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 11:06 AM on May 26, 2016

Holy crap, that is painful. I mean viscerally, wince-inducing, frantically-scrabbling-for-the-mouse painful.
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 1:00 PM on May 20, 2016

Ancient ink
...and guess what the word octopus is in Norwegian? Blekksprut - which literally translated means 'INKSQUIRT'.

Love it.
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 10:20 AM on May 5, 2016

To helmet or not to helmet - plagiocephaly in 8 month old
When I noticed this in my 6-month old baby, the pediatrician said she was about a 3 on a scale of 10 and recommended we get a helmet. We took her to a craniosacral therapist instead who specializes in kids and infants, and after 3 sessions the torticollis was completely gone. She's 10 now and doing great.

Would highly recommend it - even if you are a bit of a skeptic like me, it's well worth a try to avoid the helmet if you can. Good luck!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 2:30 PM on April 26, 2016

Harriet Tubman will replace Andrew Jackson on the $20
Happy with this.
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 10:05 AM on April 20, 2016

Greatest Living Americans Bracket
I gotta say, I was meh about the David bracket, but I'm surprisingly emotionally invested in this one. So many tough choices and so many ridiculous winners. Erykah Badou over Amy Poehler? No. Jennifer Lopez over Lawrence? NO. Beyonce over Aretha? Mmm - tough one. I picked Aretha, but I can live with it. Ronda Rousey over RBG? OK, now it's ON. WTF?? My final 4 were Aretha, Amy Poehler, Oprah and RBG.
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 12:22 PM on March 17, 2016

Skill of the month
So many great answers! Thank you! I absolutely plan to let the kids choose - I'll probably make a list from this thread and let them vote. Can't wait to get started : )
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 11:07 AM on March 17, 2016

What can I do to make my community more interesting for $5,000?
I don't have any great ideas (but I love the mini library and parklet suggestions) but wanted to pop in and say I really love that you're doing this. What a great way to invest in your community. As someone unlikely to ever directly benefit from this, I thank you for doing something lovely in the world.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 9:23 AM on March 17, 2016

What should a resume look like now? What do hiring managers look for?
- To address your LinkedIn question: I am not on social media either - with the exception of LinkedIn. Think of it as a self-updating rolodex - it is hands down the best way to keep in touch with co-workers as the come and go, and it's an invaluable tool when you see a job posting at a certain company and you discover that someone you knew but maybe lost track of actually works there. You don't have to try to work the 2nd degree connections if you don't want to. Honestly, LinkedIn is pretty… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 9:37 AM on March 16, 2016

New Zealand flag referendum enters final stage
Oh man, I hope they vote to change it. The silver fern is such an iconic symbol of NZ - I think it's great.
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 8:04 AM on March 3, 2016

This is why we can't have nice things
Excellent article, and I'm so glad that Taryn moved away from the lynch mob mentality. A certain level of compassion is needed here.

Although "Wright, a dark-haired woman with precisely arched eyebrows" - what the hell is that about? And the repeated references to her living at her parents' home? That IS her home. Ugh.
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 9:23 AM on February 18, 2016

Getting off the gravy train
I did this.

I volunteered for a redundancy at a very well-paying but kind of soul-sucking job and skipped outta there. I absolutely loved having the time off, but would I do it again? No.

The key reason is that it took a lot longer to find a job than I anticipated. I was planning to be out for 6 months, but it took a year. And the key reason it took so long was that I was looking for a career change, which it sounds like you are as well.… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 12:51 PM on February 10, 2016

In need of a "settle down to work" ritual
Ha - I know whereof you speak - intimately...

My solution is to set a timer on my phone and then internet browse to my heart's content. So I'll give myself 10 minutes of Metafilter checking and then, when the timer goes off, I force myself to do the next thing on my to-do list. I repeat this throughout the day as needed.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 11:29 AM on February 2, 2016

Songwriter on Reclaiming Adele, Rihanna's Unwanted Hits
I *heart* Sia - I've been listening to her stuff for at least 7 years and am really happy to see her getting the recognition and attention she deserves. I feel bad that her stagefright is so acute that she rarely performs (although the outsize wigs seem to be helping), but am really happy that the songwriting angle is working out so well for her. Would love to see her live - love her voice.
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 10:37 AM on February 2, 2016

"The first and only time I had sex it did not go well."
Wow. Haunting and powerful. And quite a stark contrast to the very next article up, about two lesbians happily having babies together. Talk a bout a range of women's options in the world.

Thank you for sharing, salvia. I pray that this woman will find the love she deserves.
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 10:42 AM on January 22, 2016

The big sleep
This is an issue where I just can't see the other side of the argument.

Abortion? I'm as pro-choice as they get, but I do understand the other side's arguments, even if I don't agree with them.

Death penalty? Totally get both sides.

Assisted suicide / euthanasia? I don't get it. Why wouldn't you allow people to end their life on their terms? Put some safeguards around it, OK - mandatory wait time or medical… [more]
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 10:12 AM on January 15, 2016

Gift (or annoyance?) for my mail person
We give our letter carrier (and garbage guys and recycling crew) $20 at the holidays, and he's never done anything out of the ordinary for us except put our mail in the box. This is the norm for homeowners, at least where we live (CT). We give cash in a holiday card, but I'm sure a gift card to Duncan Donuts or Starbucks would be great as well. We usually get a handwritten note of thanks back.

Welcome to homeownership!
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 10:34 AM on January 13, 2016 marked best answer

Tattoo stars sought
I love this idea and hope you do it. Could you start by doing your favorite constellations? Big dipper or Sagittarius, something like that? In other words, pick the moles that would allow you do do an accurate representation of the constellation of your choice?
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 11:08 AM on January 8, 2016

Final term, college senior. What do you wish you had been told?
Make the switch from saying 'credit' cards and start calling them 'debt' cards. It's amazing what a difference such a small semantic change can make.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 1:25 PM on January 7, 2016

Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries: Death Do Us Part
Was I the only one who was disappointed in that kiss? After all that lead-up, that was such a wooden and uninspiring kiss between Phryne and Jack. His character was always wooden, but I was hoping to see some passion break through the façade... Happy to see Dot and Hugh tie the knot, though.
posted to FanFare by widdershins at 6:13 PM on January 5, 2016

Thank you very much. It would be nice to have a mountain.
Kiitos, Norja.

Velbekomme. Og gratulerer med 100-årsdagen!
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 7:53 AM on December 31, 2015

"Come on, let's go get some coffee."
That was considerably less awkward than I thought it might be. Between this and the clip yesterday of Obama tearing up at Aretha's blowing the roof off with Natural Woman, I'm feeling quite warm and fuzzy towards the president at the moment. Not that I ever hated him or anything, but there are peaks and valleys. So I guess I'm a data point that this softer stuff really does work.

I'm going to miss this first family.
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 7:42 AM on December 31, 2015

Outragefilter-filter: how to develop a mental filter about bad things
I do agree with everyone above, that limiting your news intake does wonders for your stress levels. I never watch news on TV, for example - I 'go to' the news by visiting a couple of sites online, where I can scan headlines and choose what to read further, rather than have the news 'come to me' and be barraged by newscasters telling me everything that's wrong in the world.

However, I think the single most important thing you can do for yourself here is to tell yourself:… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 11:28 AM on December 10, 2015 marked best answer

Podcast: Serial: Episode 01: DUSTWUN
I was thrilled to discover the podcast on my phone this morning. Definitely enjoying it so far - and great 'cliffhanger' at the end. I look forward to hearing the story unfold, because right now I just feel bad for the guy - and for the masses of people out there who want to do that Grand Gesture that will make their lives count, somehow.

I think Etrigan's romantic comparison is quite apt, actually. Just last night I was talking with a friend about how for women,… [more]
posted to FanFare by widdershins at 8:43 AM on December 10, 2015

Serial Season 2, Episode 1: DUSTWUN
I did a little squeal in my car this morning when I saw a new Serial podcast on my phone... YAY
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 8:32 AM on December 10, 2015

I Was Internet Famous
I'm surprised the Star Wars kid wasn't on here. I know he's been speaking on bullying - would have been interested to hear how he feels about the experience 13 years later.
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 8:18 AM on December 9, 2015

Puzzling kitchen-gadgets gifts?
Oh my lord, the food huggers in emilyw's link are so perfect. I would never purchase one, but I would totally use them if someone gave them to me...
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 8:53 AM on December 7, 2015

Sharing only music/select apps across multiple Apple devices
That... looks like exactly what I'm looking for. Thank you!! How come none of my parent friends knew about this? Corollary question: can I set it up so photos are NOT automatically synced? My kids (and wife) take tons of pictures and don't bother weeding out dupes/bad shots, and I don't want to wade through hundreds of their shots. I save my pictures to a pro Flickr account.
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 2:55 PM on December 3, 2015

Pregnant! Should we step back from buying this house we've dreamed of?
Without the baby, I'd say go for it, but with the baby, I advise you to wait at least a year.

The financial reasons:
- you don't currently have sufficient insight into what your post-birth expenses will be, particularly re daycare, but also with all the other costs of having a baby.
- most, if not all, of your savings/liquidity would be taken up by the down payment. Considering you're about to have a major life event, this is not the time to… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 1:25 PM on November 18, 2015

Pregnancy complications - possible preemie to prepare for!
I had preemie twins at 31 weeks - one was 2lbs 4 oz and the other 3lbs 11oz. They are 9 now and absolutely perfect, but I well remember how incredibly scary that time was.

Everyone has already covered the 'don't stress about getting too much stuff in advance, particularly diapers' angle, so the main thing I want to tell you is to find out what your hospital's release policy is. Our hospital's policy was that babies could not go home until they would have been at least… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 12:52 PM on November 17, 2015

Not that kind of drinking game exactly
I have hosted a (mostly) monthly gamenight for the last 5 years, and our criteria are the same as yours - must be simple enough to play while drinking and joking around; must not require too much thought or time (so no Settlers of Catan etc.)

Favorites we play again and again:
- Cards Against Humanity (I know you have this already, but just to make the list official)
- Who What Where (like Pictionary, except more challenging and everyone draws -… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 2:26 PM on November 13, 2015

Wait... this isn't a joke?
posted to MetaFilter by widdershins at 10:56 AM on November 11, 2015

Best price for iPad mini 2?
You are absolutely right and that's what I've just done - thank you! For future reference, is there a way to find out what the Black Friday/Cyber Monday deals will be in advance?

I saw the 'leaked' Target story (which will price the iPad mini 2 for $269 but with a $80 Target gift card - not worth it to me for the $10 savings since I'd end up with $240 credit to spend at Target, where I don't normally do a lot of shopping).
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 9:27 AM on November 11, 2015

Name suggestions please, for this dog with cowlike qualities
Tipp! (Cow-like, sometimes falls over... it wrote itself)
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 12:59 PM on November 6, 2015

How to handle my anxiety on "active shooter" drills at school?
I don't think you need to go into detail about the why's of a silent evacuation, and certainly there are no upsides to getting into a conversation with a pre-schooler about deranged killers with guns...

With my 3 kids, I positioned it as 'just another drill the school wants to practice so that everyone can be safe, just like for earthquakes or fires'. At age 4, that should be plenty to frame the experience in a safe way.

Edited to add that… [more]
posted to Ask MetaFilter by widdershins at 12:23 PM on October 27, 2015 marked best answer

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